Maya shows an involuntary artistic streak.

Maya shows an involuntary artistic streak.
Originally uploaded by emaggie.

Maya picks imaginary chiggers off her best friend Jack.

Maya picks imaginary chiggers off her best friend Jack.
Originally uploaded by emaggie.

Maya deals with the realization that Peppermint Patty is actually made of plastic.

Maya deals with the realization that Peppermint Patty is actually made of plastic.
Originally uploaded by emaggie.

Maya hardly knows where to begin on a plate full of crappy Holidaze Par-tay food.

Maya hardly knows where to begin on a plate full of crappy Holidaze Par-tay food.
Originally uploaded by emaggie.

"So you've been feeding me veggies and formula when I could be having these cookie things? Are you nuts?!"

"So you've been feeding me veggies and formula when I could be having these cookie things? Are you nuts?!"
Originally uploaded by emaggie.

Can you hear me now? Bad.

The Bushies hoping to play up the turnout in yesterday's Iraqi election are being tripped up yet again by that darn reality. First of all, good for the 67% of Iraqi voters that got all inky yesterday. We won't know the results in Iraq for a few weeks, and even then it's going to be confusing for basically everyone. And the Bushies have no more artificially-manufactured deadlines anywhere on the calendar in Iraq. Anyone that cared to look beyond the pre-election propaganda knew that already. However, Dubya's signature on a program to spy on American citizens has spun this whole vortex into another direction. In short, the outright criminal nature of the NSA monitoring American citizens is a whole new bowl of wrong to munch on. So now Dubya's got Senators from his own Party calling for hearings while the din of shite-talking on the news channels out both sides of this horrid story has kidnapped the cycle. The details of this anonymously-sourced story are not even close to fully disclosed - that's what will keep it alive for the foreseeable future. Count the PATRIOT Act's indefinite extension out - this NSA story put a stake in that puppy. When we've got revelations that the NSA's tapping phones and reading emails from thousands of American citizens here at home...well, that's the sort of juice that will really light up the switchboards in the District.

Sadly, I'm short on time to bite into today's engorged newz cycle 'cause I'm taking Maya to one of Sarah's work Holidaze midday par-tays. Expect mucho pictures thereafter. Thanks for checking in. Rock on.

Maya tips completely off the Food Pyramid given the amount of fruit she's been favoring as of late.

Maya tips completely off the Food Pyramid given the amount of fruit she's been favoring as of late.
Originally uploaded by emaggie.

"Dad, if you try to analyze another Dubya speech I'm sooo outta here..."

"Dad, if you try to analyze another Dubya speech I'm sooo outta here..."
Originally uploaded by emaggie.

Jeff Gannon shifts to a foreign post

Dubya's throwing another mudpie of cliches at the backdrop in DC this morning trying to justify the "stay the course" intransigence we're still stuck with. I just don't have the stomach to parse it. Same bunco, different dayo.

One retread story that I did find interesting came from the once-again surprising USAToday. They lead with better details on the Bushies' plan to plant news in foreign media. The bill thus far has been $300M. As far as freelance gigs go, pretty phat cash. I only wonder how much Jeff Gannon's taken from that kitty.

We rented "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" last night. Loved it. If you're still a virgin, it might give you hope. If you're a slut, it will be an only partly uncomfortable look in the mirror. If you're anywhere in between, you'll see the sweetness throughout unless you're dead inside. My rating - an A-minus. We've not watched all the deleted scenes included in the unrated DVD, but I expect that they will fill in some of the non-sequiter gaps. Steve Carrell is absolutely gut-busting and the cast of goofballs around him split up the hilarity evenly. Catherine Keener's never been sexier. Definitely on my Top 10 list for the year. Rock on.

Behind closed doors, the Newz never sleeps.

I'm outside of my typical window for putting anything up today, so I appreciate those of you that have checked back for something of mildly justifiable interest. After a full morning of being hilariously antic, Maya's out like a light for a nap. Our little veal-fattening pen of an apartment has one thing in healthy multitudes - doors. So when Maya's down for the count, we shut her behind a few layers of vertical wood, turn on the monitor, and try to get some things done. For me at the moment that means doin' drive-bys on a passel of stories.

There should be no doubt whether the Bushies are having trouble "standing up" the Iraqi government and it's alleged layers of legitimacy when debates about abusing prisoners put our military on the side of restraint. The Baghdad facility discovered last week sounds atrocious. Any time in the future that Condi or Rummy or fiddle-faddlers like Krauthammer defend the use of torture, I hope someone reminds them of this story.

Dubya yesterday estimated that 30,000 Iraqis have died since we showed up. Which tracks with what the folks at Iraqbodycount.org have tabulated. If I weren't so stunned by Dubya's correct-ish response, I'd have more to say. I only wish someone would have asked him how many WMDs had been found.

I saw a bit of the Brian Williams interview with Dubya on the "Today" show this morning. In it Dubya tries to claim that he reads the morning newspaper ("not every article, of course"). What paper, we don't yet know. My bet is the Times. The Washington Times, that is. Aside from the whole Moonies link, Dubya also loves their salient placement of "Marmaduke" and "Hi and Lois" in the midst of their Op-Ed page. Actually, I made that last bit up. But it's at least more plausible than Dubya actually reading the newspaper.

After seeing the Pack limp to victory on Sunday, I now realize that this year's top college player, Reggie Bush, is no longer headed to 'Sconi. But even if the current Packers management had the first pick, I expect they'd pick Billy Bush. Get used to the margins, Packer fans. Because that's where we're gonna be viewing the NFL from in the next decade.

The Guvahnator denied Tookie's clemency. So without any cheesy lines of movie dialogue, we're left with another deathrow vacancy. I can understand that all sorts of people believe in the death penalty. Personally, I think it's shameful. But until someone proves that an innocent person has been executed, most Americans will turn their eyes away from stories like this one. That proof is coming, though. Of that, I'm quite sure.

The Diebold voting machine CEO that promised to deliver Ohio for Dubya has resigned citing "personal reasons". There's plenty of buzz saying that whistleblowers brought fraud to the attention of Diebold's board. Anyone shocked out there? Anyone?!!

The Fed just kicked up interest rates another notch. That's 13 straight hikes, from a low of 1% to 4.25%. So just before Greenspan hands over the reigns, everyone's confused about where our monetary policy is headed. If the Bushies weren't up over their asschaps in Iraqness, I'm sure we'd be hearing daily speeches about how well the economy is doing. As it is, I wish the best to anyone out there trying to figure out just how to invest or plan for the future monetarily. We've put all our money in goats. They're pretty smelly and the depreciation's a bitch. Better than Enron, though.

The British paper "The Independent" offers a pretty ugly tabulation today, which marks the 1000th day of the Debacle in Iraqle (my new nickname - not as inspired as "The Daily Show" tagging it "Mess o' Potamia"...but I'm not out for a Peabody here). Every single one of us should read it. Twice. And then we should all call our Congresspersons and ask if they've read it. And then we should ask why our media organizations aren't marking this tragic milestone in the same way. Denial is not only a river in Egypt, after all.

I've got a list of chores to check off, so I should table some of this ramble for a later date. Thanks so much for reading. I'm really getting some great feedback about what I've thrown up against the wall here at and the Family Buick. And aside from being cheaper than therapy or heroin, that's why I'm doing this. Hope your own progress is regularly noticed by medical professionals. Rock on.

Maya offers to help fill the dishwasher, forgetting that her spoons get handwashed. Kids are so silly.

Maya offers to help fill the dishwasher, forgetting that her spoons get handwashed. Kids are so silly.
Originally uploaded by emaggie.

For the time being, Maya seems unfazed by claims that she should get a haircut.

For the time being, Maya seems unfazed by claims that she should get a haircut.
Originally uploaded by emaggie.

"Walk the Line" - with an appearance by the worst Elvis impersonator EVER

Our first choice for a Saturday movie nite while Auntie Becca sat on Maya was "Brokeback Mountain" which opened here this weekend. But it sold out quicker than the plates of rum balls at a Baptist pre-Jesusmas bake sale. So we finally caught "Walk the Line" and I'm glad we did. I'll never be a Joaquin Phoenix fan (his brother, River, got 71% of the natural talent in that family), although he works his fanny off throughout a rather standardized biopic story arc. In fact, the entire flick feels like a nontheless interesting retread of the formula used last year in "Ray". Reese Witherspoon, however, impressed me more than ever. She's the embodiment of perkiness generally, but here showed more range than I've seen. My rating - a strong B - probably is a smidge influenced by my own love of Johnny Cash.

I would be remiss if I didn't join the choruses of tribute to two great Americans who died yesterday. Richard Pryor walked a tough road, as did Eugene McCarthy. They both had guts, they both inspired millions in completely different ways, and they both won my admiration long ago. We need another of that type of McCarthy, given how many of the Joe McCarthy clones we've got running around these days. And Pryor's groundbreaking comedy still could shock some of the shlock out of today's so-called "edgy" entertainers. They both will be missed.

Before I focus on large men in tight pants roughhousing, I have to mention how little I'm surprised by Drudge flinging some Santorum at "Brokeback Mountain" in an attempt to rile up the anti-gay cowboy Conservatives. His posting from yesterday claims that Wyoming's cowboy history included no gay ones and how tourism from Europe to Wyoming is increasing because of the movie. So Europe is full of gay cowboys? I know the GOP attack monkeys love to accuse Old Europe of just about everything. But THAT's a new one by me. Rock on.

Fighting the War Here, so we don't have to cover how we're losing it over There.

The Bushies continue to show the same hand this week. Last night on "The News Hour" with Jim Lerher, Rummy repeated their argument that the media is to blame for how the Debacle in Iraq is being discussed. General Abazaid's also recently said the same. So we see yet again from horribly underprepared civilians and generals alike - when all else fails, blame the media. Rinse and repeat. This morning on "Washington Journal" while I tried to cram some breakfast into Maya, I listened to an entire call-in segment from military folks and contractors with experience in Iraq about what they think the media is missing. In other words, Brian Lamb wanted service personnel or people who's livelihood depends on work there to assess how things are really going for the U.S. That's like interviewing fans at Lambeau Field about their secret love for the Vikings - you can pretty much script the response you'll hear. But occasional nuggets of insight came through. Largely that we're facing a simmering civil war that affords us absolutely no chance of winning until we leave. And now Rummy's trying to make news saying that 20,000 troops should be able to come home after next week's election. I'd bet this exit has been rushed to implementation because of recent pressure. I'm sure the Bushies would claim that pressure is invented and driven by the media. And the Orwellian logic spins fast enough to actually separate our heads from our shoulders.

Speaking of that pesky ol' media - this morning's entry in the "So NOW You Tell Me" Sweepstakes breaks down the al Qaeda/Saddam link used by the Bushies throughout the run-up to invading Iraq. Although the informant who gave that bad intelligence has long been discredited, the way that intelligence was gathered hadn't been mentioned until this morning. Well, su-prise, su-prise, su-prise! The Egyptians beat it out of the guy after the CIA used their "rendition" policy to hand him over in 2002. So Dubya used a bundle of coerced lies to help justify an invasion that even Paul "What Me Worry?" Wolfowitz now says shouldn't have happened if there were no WMDs or terrorism links. I still like the gams on the whole "how was this intelligence used by the Bushies" angle. Media, shmedia. This is about history.

Sounds as though most of the Country's dealing with Winter's "Big Time!" arrival. San Francisco is typically temperate and we're heading out for Maya's morning walk. Sorry. Although I do love those first big storms of the winter and we're expecting a cold, white Jesus-mas back in 'Sconi. This well-timed aesthetic blast should kick-start the Holidaze retail sector. We're gonna do our own consumerist cavorting this weekend - I plan to wear a bikini, just because I can. Hope your own lists have been checked and checked twice. Rock on.

"For Hire: Video Artist, with Baggage"

The Air Marshals shooting that dude off his meds on a flight yesterday has caused me to wonder - how would my neighbors who I never talk to characterize me if reporters came a callin'? I just saw a report on the frickin' "Today" show that casually presented neighborly comments for this poor sucker as "worked at a home supply store, did missionary work, and was quiet and friendly." Aside from the cooling effect Mr. Alpizar might have on missionary recruitment, he got some kind words. Mine might be more of the "always pushed a baby stroller" or "no noticably offensive smells" or hopefully "had a vivacious gait". Or more likely "never gave a damn about crossing the Street outside the crosswalk" and "always fiddling with an iPod like a madman." Regardless, I hope we all take this to heart and are nice to a bitchy neighbor today. Even the ones we fear may be cooking the flesh off skulls or holding Bible Study meetings in their basements.

This morning's guilty media junkie pleasure - the mess with the insensitive cop Jesus-mas Party video. I haven't seen the whole thing, but what I've screened has pretty high production value and adequate direction. The scene where the cop runs over an African-American homeless person of ambiguous gender was pretty tight. Some of these suspended cops may have a future.

Maya's digging the space heater - sleeping like a drunk with a fresh case of Listerine. And while the rain fell yesterday afternoon, she was talkative and positively psyched to be out in the Girl in the Plastic Bubble BOB. Actually, getting her out of the apartment is more essential now than ever since she started crawling everywhere and standing up with the aid of any piece of furniture. I've fashioned something of a pillowy den for her in the living room, blocking the exits with Gitmo (her playpen) and some finally-utilized throw pillows we've been moving from place to place with us for years. A few tumbles daily, but all seemingly in good or easily correctible humor. So my ears are also up for all the stories of child development studies or helpful hintyness - kinda like how a decade ago I was always on the lookout for stories about cooking with ketchup or hot spots for the sweatiest dive bar with cheap Rainier pints. Anyhoo, heard one on NPR this morning about getting a 9-month versus 10-month-old baby to follow your gaze with your eyes open and then closed. At around 10 months, normally developing kids begin to notice when your eyes are closed and then don't necessarily blindly (pun intended) follow your direction of gaze. Fascinating, in a very narrow sense. Brains developing are cool, Beavis. Heh, heh. Rock on.

"Sod is hard work - kinda like freedom."

Dubya's gave another speech this morning before the Council on Foreign Relations trying to tie the Iraqi debacle to not only 9/11 but the anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor. Timing, after all, is everything in politics. And abusing tragic timing is Rule #1 if you're in power, as we've seen time and time again from Dubya. He's trying to put a good face on everything that's gone wrong by pointing out that Iraqis now have 3 million cellphones. And a new soccer field ("with new sod") in Najaf. Amazingly, Dubya's admitted early on that reconstruction has begun with "fits and starts". Love the antiquated cliche` - so drip-coffee-and-a-bear-claw-in-Crawford. But the willingness to recycle old justifications make this just more of the same propaganda. The most telling passage was lifted from one of the many references to Senator Liberman's support of the Debacle. "He's got Joementum!" apparently said that it was important to point out to the American people that the "plan" has not remained "stubbornly still, but has changed over the years." Parse that out and you've got loads to work with. My brain pivots on the "over the years" admission, moreso than the "stubbornly still" Freudian alliteration. In other words, for all the spinning, spinning, spinning to keep this from turning into a rhetorical trip down the Ho Chi Minh Trail, the Bushies have failed miserably. Will this speech change a single iota of the discontent that's now inherent in any mention of Iraq? If you think so, I'd love to forward you some emails I've been receiving for years from lawyers of my dead distant relatives. Apparently, just as in the continued justification of the Debacle by the Dubya, I'm much better off than I realize as this tragedy unfolds.

Over the last week, Maya took an unwelcome turn from consistently sleeping through the night to what I realize is babyish normalness. And for once, it seems as though our Sherlock Holmesy reaction was appropriate. Her room was too cold. Hypothermia can occur even in California apartments. Sarah likes to see her breath when she gets up to pee in the middle of the night. I no longer have any feeling in my extremities. Yada yada yada. So we got a space heater yesterday for Maya's room and she slept through last night in cozy bliss, we're happy to report. Of course, I went with the coal-fired model, so black lung is a risk. But just as in Dubya's decision to go into Iraq, I believe that criticism of my solution is not appropriate at this time in our Nation's history.

Lots more to catch up on. Back soon. Rock on.

Maya tries out new hairstyles in the tub.

Maya tries out new hairstyles in the tub.
Originally uploaded by emaggie.

"Happy Holidays from the TSA. Now spread your ass cheeks and cough."

My "this story MUST have some legs, puul-leeze!" department for the day - the TSA just outlined how they are relaxing restrictions on small knives, scissors and the like. But to balance it out, they're planning loads more random searches. Oh, and they're putting the changes into effect December 22nd, just in time for Holidaze travel. Just another day in BizarroWorld under Dubya. There have to be legs here because everyone who travels knows that the TSA sucks. The variability in standards from airport to airport alone should be a scandal (as young parents travelling with a munchkin and gate-checking a stroller, take our word for it). But now the Bushies' Homeland Security braintrust is going to allow the instruments used in the 9/11 hijackings back on board planes? Undeniably bad policy. If one thing is universal in the understanding of travelers today it is that you don't pack crap like Swiss Army knives in your carry-on bags. To change that will only be more confusing, won't speed along the lines which are the real complaint of most this time of year, and will show just how incompetent this era of Goverment has proven to be. Maybe airport security is impossible to fully manage. The things we know for certain can hurt us should nonetheless be verboten, hands down.

San Francisco had a real soaker yesterday. We put the rainguard on the BOB, and let Maya play the Girl in the Plastic Bubble through it all. She crashed hard, in no small part due to the gusty winds. The sun's back out today after a crisp 45-degree morning so we're headed back out for a walk. Hope your own trails slant in the right direction. Rock on.

Maya's latest Tale o' the Tape

Maya had her 9-month check-up yesterday. The pediatrician says Maya's "thriving" and her measurements are now all at least in the 75th percentile for munchkins of her ilk. The tale of the tape is as follows:

Height - 28 1/2 inches
Weight - 20 lb., 2 oz.
Hatsize - 45 and something something (90th percentile, so I'm not worried)

Two shots didn't even really bother her much beyond when we'd gotten back out on the Street. Maya's chillin' in Gitmo for the moment, laying waste to the pile of toys she's sitting amidst. It's almost like the garbage compactor scene from the first "Star Wars" where everyone's wondering what might be lurking below. For short periods she'll tolerate Gitmo, but she's all over when she's out on parole. We need to babyproof. Big time.

No news worth harping on today. Lots of angles offered about Dubya's speech yesterday. All of them make me yawn. Journalism is very much the first draft of history. Especially in this instance. Rock on.

Plan For Victory #437 - Free Health Club memberships after only 6 months of Service!

Dubya's latest smirky John Wayne speech ran this morning to accompany the Bushies' newly published Iraq plan (35 pages!). I'm watching with a slight delay thanks to morning mayhem from Maya. So few points stick out of Dubya's usual blather, but here's a few on the fly...

Dubya just called a major group of our enemies in Iraq "rejectionists". Yes, and the "bomberists" and "Baathistists" are also trouble. Rejectionists were effectively defined as Sunnis that feel left out of the democratic success Iraq is experiencing. Dubya looked to his script almost throughout. So this is obviously part of the so-called newness of this speech.

Dubya pushin' WhiteHouse.gov for the Iraq plan - look there for all the latest secret plans from the Bushies. And the new Barney Christmas vid.

Mention was made of "career development courses" for the Iraqi military's officers. Look, I'm all for a well-rounded soldier. But, COME ON! Just train them to shoot and run things.

"Stand up, stand down...stand up, stand down." Dubya sounds as though he's calling a game of Simon Sez on the "Battle of the Network Stars" back in the 70s.

Dubya sums up the Dems by saying "Senator Liberman" on three occasions. I'd wager that's at least once more than Joe heard it over the two-week Thanksgiving break.

When Dubya got around to the "vigorous debate" from the hypothetical soldier's POV, he actually looked pissed. Something's unsettling about this man's self-confidence.

In the end, nothing new at all. Lots of hooey dealing with the daily life of an Iraqi soldier. "Timelines are for pussies. Freedom. Hard work. Terror (as one syllable). And may Gawd continue to bless the USA." Ppppppffffffffft. We're all so completely screwed.

Maya's gotten into some stereo cords and DVDs so I'd better separate her from her quarry. Hope your own shelves stay organized. Rock on.