And you thought Mrs. Paul's Fishsticks were full of crap...

Wolfie's almost out. Screw that prediction - he's gone and forever tarnished. The ink's just not dried yet on that "liberator". Which leads me to bet that Gonzo's also headed on a greased skid toward the exit as an unceremonious document dump Friday afternoon. The astonishingly candid James Comey testimony yesterday finally cooked his goose. Remember - you heard it here first.

I'm one of what I assume to be a few paltry dozen Americans not working for a doomed campaign to have watched last night's GOP Debate in its entirety. Then I took a shower. Even if you're one of those Bushie trollers out there waiting to pounce on my honest opinion, I'll call it straight. These are the worst Presidential candidates on either side - in toto - of my generation of duopolistic options. But MAN how do you follow the act currently on stage (translation: those loyal Bushies) if you're these doofuses? There were so many ugly moments of homophobia, fearmongering, and outright assholery that it doesn't even pay to recap. If you've got a fave, let me know. Personally, Ron "Not Mrs." Paul's strikes me as the only wingnut with balls in that cluster. Not that it will do anything for him.

Hope all the ridiculously hypothetical questions you get today feature how much ice cream sundae you'll be able to eat. Rock on.

Falwell croaks, McCain panders

There was like 15 minutes back in early 2000 when I thought John McCain could actually be a man of his word. All that "Straight Talk(?)" and unconventional posturing. But that's as over as the career of Yahoo Serious. Today's DeadFalwell Condolences Lottery seals that deal. McCain was first out of the gates. That lead won't last, especially since there's a GOP LameGang o' 10 debate in South Carolina this evening. Please remember people - Jerry Falwell was the one to blame 9/11 on homosexuality and abortion. Anyone lining up to honor his memory should be reminded just how short their own appears to be.

For those that care to notice, every single day provides new stink in the Gonzo follies. Yesterday, it was "Number 2" Patrick McNulty throwing in the towel at Justice out of shame or, if you're a complete moron, his claim that college tuition costs made him walk. Today, it's "Former Number 2" James Comey laying out the hospital bedside efforts by Gonzo and Andrew "Don't Blame Me, I'm Just a Dooshbag" Card to get Ashcroft to sign off on the obviously illegal NSA wiretapping program way back in the day. So for tomorrow I offer the following prediction - Monica "Can I Please Get a New Stock Photo?" Goodling will strip for Jesus and donate her dirty singles to Gonzo's defense fund.

Hope your own underlings haven't been secretly plotting your downfall since Day 1. Rock on.