Can you imagine a creepier bathroom to go cruising in?

Can you imagine a creepier bathroom to go cruising in?
Originally uploaded by emaggie

This is the vista outside the now-famous bathroom at the Minneapolis-St. Paul Airport where Larry Craig was busted for "allegedly" cruising. I even found the stall itself. All I can say is please, please move the Snoopy statue, America.

Nothing accents an outfit quite like stylish glasses, a funky necklace, and an array of mink sheds in the background, doncha think?

Nothing accents an outfit quite like stylish glasses, a funky necklace, and an array of mink sheds in the background, doncha think?
Originally uploaded by emaggie

This shot of my Dad walking out to the hayfields behind my parents' house sums up more of my childhood in Wisconsin than any shot I've ever taken.

This shot of my Dad walking out to the hayfields behind my parents' house sums up more of my childhood in Wisconsin than any shot I've ever taken.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Maya takes stock of the birdfeeder goodies with Grandma.

Maya takes stock of the birdfeeder goodies with Grandma.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Ah, that first cut on that first Jack o' Lantern of the Season.

Ah, that first cut on that first Jack o' Lantern of the Season.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Blowing kisses goodbye with Grandpa after a lovely Autumn visit to Wisconsin.

Blowing kisses goodbye with Grandpa after a lovely Autumn visit to Wisconsin.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

"Plus, that Mother Theresa chick left the building one of my people just told me."

I'm embarrassed to admit that I didn't watch Dubya's entire presser yesterday. But as the viral flux of our age has shown me today, I should have. Let's face it - Dubya makes the not-so-occassional gaffe. Still, saying that Nelson Mandela was dead and that Saddam Hussein bizarrely had something to do with it is a new level of head-scratcher. 16 months, People. 16 more months of this guy running our Country. Short your stocks now. Or stock your shorts - however you whether these periods.



Hope your own weekend trips take you where the fall colors cancel out any notice of Red States versus Blue States differences. Rock on.

"And for those keepin' score, it's not like an A in tax-cuttin' is something you can get every semester, heh heh."

Everyone knows Dubya was/is a lousy student. But why can't we as Americans ground him for lying about his report card as he did earlier today?

No wonder he'd say he got a B in Econ 101 when he actually got a C-minus in a two-semester cycle of introductory Econ courses. Remember, America - he was blotto until he was 40-years-old. His recall of grades during his Sophomore year at Yale is the equivalent of asking him what Barbara packed him for lunch his first day of cheerleading camp the summer prior to getting jazzy in prep school at Phillips Academy in Andover, Massachusetts.

Hope your own grade transcripts aren't Googled today. Rock on.

"Just a bit outside."

I've been repeatedly impressed with Jon Stewart over the last many years. But his interview with Alan Greenspan last night was definitely one of his best. While so many others are attacking Greenspan for his new book's self-serving defenses of the looming housing value meltdown and the Iraq War, Jon took the opportunity to ask him actual economics questions. I can almost guarantee that this is the only way that teenagers and college kids are getting exposure to macro-econ. Even those enrolled in those horrendous undergrad courses that we've all forgotten entirely. Kudos. The Emmy for "The Daily Show" was entirely deserved.

The Brew Crew won a big one last night on the road in Houston. That makes 4 in a row. With 12 games to play, they're in a virtual tie with the Cubs who have 10 games remaining. And this weekend we're heading back to Wisconsin for a visit prior to a conference for Sarah in Minneapolis. Special irony bonus - we're flying into the Minneapolis Airport. So after a stop by the Larry Craig bathroom stall (please check back for pics), expect that I'll be glued to Bob Uecker's play-by-play call during an honest-to-Gawd playoff chase. If you could see me right now, you'd know that I'm nippin' out.

Hope your own bathroom stops are equally worth a creepy snapshot today. Rock on.

The Chicago Cubs will die angry and miss everything cool

Today's Top Three driveby stories of the most obvious and overdue derision.

1. O.J. Mudderfu**ng Simpson. Stealing back memorabilia including the suit he wore at his acquittal in '95. I strongly suggest the judge in Las Vegas require that he wear his bounty at his upcoming sentencing.
2. Britney Spears. I, for one, thought she was totally hot as she meandered around the stage in Las Vegas. Oh wait - what are the odds that both O.J. and Britney would dissemble entirely at the same hotel (Palms Oasis) the same week. What happens in Vegas should please, PLEASE stay in Vegas. Even though we know in either of these cases it won't.
3. The Packers are hot (2-0) and the Brewers are in a race for the playoffs after months of wavering frontrunnership. So all these years of wishing on those falling chunks of Skylab have finally paid off. Thank you, Gawd.

Hope your own moments of self-congratulation don't come back to bite you in the panties today. Rock on.

Depart Off Failure

So there you have it America. Dubya calls the pre-ordained troop rotations a "Return On Success." As Thomas Ricks pointed out last night for the Washington Post - it sounds like a Merrill Lynch ad. A bad one, I'll add. If Dubya was worth more parsing, I'd get my panties all in a bunch and do so. But I've got a different point to make.

Iraq is doomed. Other nations in modern history have dissembled into decades of civil war given a horrifying minority acting off of a majority opinion of dissatisfaction. But this one's a totally new level of screw-up. And as the instigating Nation, everyone back here in the US of A is tarnished. The anemic anti-war movement inspires less people than those hepped on the new Fall TV schedule. The fraudulent pro-war movement are the same genetic strain of hooligans that enjoyed the gladitory events at the Colliseum before the fall of Rome. And people like me that have been against this sort of folly since 9/11 are just as screwed as the lot of us. No wonder Britney Spears drunkenly hogging the spotlight @ the MTV VMAs is so much, much more fun. Here's my point - we need to get mad. Intelligently mad. The Surge is a failure. The Extension of the Surge meant to "Return On Success" is a fraud. People need to rise up, march in the Streets and clog up the business of Government. Our Nation can't take this extension without suffering the ultimate loss. That of the Nation itself. I got in trouble with a group of beloved friends a year ago saying that we are a more divided Nation than at any time in our history, even though we don't realize it yet. I won't claim prescience. But that's what it increasingly feels like. We can't settle this Iraqi civil war even though we caused it. We must stop. One more dead American is far, far too many. And that's all I've got to say about that.

Hope your own riffs lead to something more today. Rock on.

Next question: "Why do you call our people 'troopers' not 'troops'? Just wondering..."

House Minority Leader John "Not Boner" Boehner (R-OH) will never be accused of being well-timed in making outrageous statements. But his latest assessment of our losses in Iraq as "a small price" is as far as I've seen a foot go into a mouth in quite some time. If he gets away with saying this and not needing to apologize, we're all asleep at the switch.



Dubya speaks down to the Nation tonight. We all know what's coming. My only question is whether there will be any reference to the leading provincial Sunni Sheik blown to smithereens today, just 10 days after meeting with Dubya on the American base in Anbar Province. I expect he'll need to make this latest casualty into the latest psuedo-inspiring figure. How sad. I just hope some of the media availability of General Petraeus and Ambassador Crocker that has been so pronounced these last few days will continue today so that somebody gets to ask the question - "How can you hold up Anbar as such a success when one of new allies was just assassinated?" Please, somebody ask that question.

Hope your own calm is anything but relative today. Rock on.

And you thought "Encino Man" was bad...

Ah, twue wuhv.

Senator David Vitter (R-LA) is the latest "family values" adulterer to see his goose again nearing the edge of the stove. Hustler's Larry Flynt outed the hooker that Vitter would "visit" 2 or 3 times a week yesterday. Weirdly-timed, but still a stinkstorm should arise. It would have infinitely less impact if Larry Craig hadn't announced his "intent" to resign. As has been stated by many others in various forms, the big difference being that Louisiana has a Democratic Guhvanator (unlike Idaho) and most of us know that the replacement is appointed by the Guv. I can't say that I'll be buying my first Hustler to gain intimate insight into not only this tawdy affair. But my political tabloid gene will definitely be keeping a leering eye on Vitter as this story sputters or roars.

Petraeus and Crocker had thankless jobs before the Senators yesterday. But how did they actually do? Miserably. They took fire from all angles. Now Dubya's gotta come into the fray at long last Thursday night in a televised address meant to redirect fire at him. Ugh. Lee. Obama's finally showing some foresight in scheduling an Iraq withdrawl address this afternoon in Iowa. He'll get a huge bump in whichever direction. He'll dominate the argument today among the Dems especially since the only news Hillary's making today is ugly fundraising broadsides being thrown from all angles. But everyone else is going to trash this "surge" extension worse than the entire career of Paulie Shore. The dynamic will change. The Bushies won't be on offense any longer. And like so many other instances, they didn't see this one coming even though they should have.

Hope your own hookers know enough to stay on drugs and avoid ratting you out today. Rock on.

Welcome, yet again, to The Suck

Six years. Six long, horribly depressing years of Dubya's misadventures since the attacks of 9/11. How are we as a Nation celebrating it? By largely ignoring the compelling hearing of General Petraeus and Ambassador Crocker before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. How surreal. Osama Bin Laden is being reduced to a footnote by the dwindling neoconpoops while Petraeus tries to make 32 dead American soldiers since the start of September sound like progress. I see where this whole "report" charade is headed, as do most Americans. We ain't going nowhere. Our troops aren't coming home. The daily reports of death and maiming will be forced further and further out of the spotlight. The largely forgettable movie "Jarhead" introduced to the lexicon the unwieldy cliche` "Welcome to The Suck." Well, each passing day of this quagmire makes me rethink the wisdom of that soldier's prescient phrasing. We, my fellow citizens, appear to be stuck in this version of The Suck for some time to come. Now that REALLY sucks.

To all those that have lost in this era of American shame, I send my heartfelt regrets. For those that think victory is at hand, I pull back the civility and say that I fear you. Not because I'm afraid of you. Just that I don't understand how much loss and shame you will need to satisfy the bloodlust that seems to have arisen from you ever since that terrible day a mere six years ago. Hope for the future. Rock on.

Maya did her best from a distance while Poppy horked up an extinguishing loogie

Maya did her best from a distance while Poppy horked up an extinguishing loogie.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

While Nanna and Poppy are in town to help organize our new digs, we were able to get out for an evening to celebrate Poppy's birthday at Vios on Capitol Hill (a fave restaurant of ours). Notice the waning reminders of Maya's head plant in the form of her nose scabs. All are well. Hope y'all can say the same. Rock on.

Freewheeling ain't always so guiltfree

After a few days meant to absorb the trauma of a Maya incident of note, I'm finally ready to dump my story on the entire World. I'll be brief. Maybe. But honest. Unquestionably. For those that check in for Maya updates, this one's for you.

We've got a new house that we adore already. Maya's hit the ground running at full speed, which in this was part of the foreshadowed problem. She adores the backyard/back deck/sandbox, and sleeps like a drunken hippie in her new room. 'Nuff said 'bout that. But we're also in that crazy mode of organizing that requires certain moments of poor parenting. Cough. As in Wednesday afternoon when I was trying to put things into our garage storage space while Maya played in front on her tricycle on our slanted driveway. Bear in mind, we've begun to see an adventurousness in her demeanor that wasn't really in full bloom until rather recently. So picture me fully distracted sorting out a few decades worth of camping equipment and untenable luggage. And Maya pushing her trike up the incline of the driveway. And then mounting said trike. And pushing off. Rumble rumble CRAAAASH! Scream! Picture me instantaneously expecting the Seattle Police or Child Protective Services EMTs being dispatched to our house. Blood. Cedar bark everywhere. Sadness. And...scene.

So here's the good news - Maya's fine. Better than fine, she's undamaged. She drove her renegade crotchrocket into the landscaping just off the otherwise more ominous concrete driveway. I felt like the worst Dad EVER for a few days, hence the posting lag. But she's healed amazingly well. A bloodied and abrased nose, no broken teeth, no permanent scars, no lawsuits. Yet. She is pretty young to be appropriately lashing out, after all. Still, I had a ringer up my sleeve that had nothing to do with Larry Craig's lawyers. Maya's grandparents and aunties arrived in the days after "The Crash" on a pre-scheduled visit to check out our new digs. I've learned Maya heals like a club fighter. She even hugged me somewhat recently. And she wanted me to tell y'all she's rockin' and rollin' like never before. We may even buy a new trike sometime soon. Of course, it will be one that only works on the flat until she's 16. If it ain't been invented yet, I'll make it. That's the kind of Dad I am.

Hope your own guilty moments do nothing to diminish the beauty of the opening Weekend of the NFL Season. Rock on.

My "intent" is to name my third child Favre

For today at least, undeniably disgraced Senator Larry Craig is testing the waters of a continued perp walk in his seat. Anyone who denies that politicians parse their words as carefully as legally possible should listen to this dandy that Roll Call rolled out today. The operative word is "intent" - as in, "my intent is to weasel out of this if everyone gets distracted by the September debate over Iraq and my wife doesn't snip off a testicle." It appears Ol' Wide Lair doesn't program numbers into his cell phone. Point blank - the Dems are praying that he's stupid enough to fight for his reputation. And it appears that stupid does strike more often in one place than lightning.

At long last, Oprah is getting serious about taking over the Nation. Thank gawd. If anyone can add some luster to a surprisingly buzz-free Barack Obama, it's this American Hero. Respect the "Oprah bounce". And, no, I'm not talking to you, Tom Cruise.


The NFL Season starts tomorrow night. I'm sure you've also got goosebumps by just saying that. I fully expect my Green Bay Packers to be sucking a middle teet somewhere out of the headlines aside from the magical Favre Farewell Tour sequel. Regardless, set your Tivos, call your bookies and kiss your kids goodbye for a few months worth of weekends.

Hope your own pre-season roster cuts left you with all the pieces necessary for a serious run toward the playoffs. Rock on.

But I'd bet he could still block a few of Rick Rossovich's spikes these days...

There's nothing more depressing than seeing into the frat house basement of Dubya's brain. Yet Robert Draper's book "Dead Certain" that plunges us all down that deep, dark stairwell arrives on the scene today. I guarantee y'all that it's being almost immediately added to my loyal Bushie bashing canon of reality-based books on the shelf in my new office. For the time being, throw up in your own mouths just a bit by reading the excerpts featuring today on Slate after a weekend worth of major paper foreshadowing. My fave thus far - Dubya riffing that he "understands the enemy watches me, the Iraqis are watching me, the troops watch me, and the people watch me." Yes, we do. And what a sight you are to behold.

As to the flyby PR stunt that was Dubya's visit to Iraq yesterday, I'll give the spectacle a middling C-minus rating. We all know the pushback from the Petraeus pseudo-report was due to start early. This just smells like a huge waste of cash and newsprint. If Dubya wanted to impress the troops at this point in the debacle I think he'd need to stage a beach volleyball showdown a la "Top Gun" with a greased up Goose as he showed Ice Man how good he looks out of his flight suit. Speaking of which, Dubya showed up wearing black on a sweltering afternoon in the desert. Do you trust this man's judgment?

And to complete the Iraq trifecta of observations for the day, Tom Davis (R-VA) is my official weathervane in this entire debate of just how we figure out the way to subtly cut and run away like banshees. For those paying WAY too much attention, Sen. John Warner announced on Friday his intention to not seek re-election. Everyone expects Tom Davis, who is a snotty little neocon if there ever was one in the House, to run for the GOP nomination. Well, lookie lookie - Tom Davis is calling for an exit strategy just prior to the Bushies pushing for a stay the course policy. September is gonna get girls gone wild nasty on this debate. Tom Davis is the first one to take his shirt off. Whatever that mixed metaphor means. Just keep an eye on him. Or let me do so, and check back.

Hope your own low-fat chef-prepared lunch menus will NEVER lead you to choose the hot dog. Rock on.