Tuesday, September 18, 2007

The Chicago Cubs will die angry and miss everything cool

Today's Top Three driveby stories of the most obvious and overdue derision.

1. O.J. Mudderfu**ng Simpson. Stealing back memorabilia including the suit he wore at his acquittal in '95. I strongly suggest the judge in Las Vegas require that he wear his bounty at his upcoming sentencing.
2. Britney Spears. I, for one, thought she was totally hot as she meandered around the stage in Las Vegas. Oh wait - what are the odds that both O.J. and Britney would dissemble entirely at the same hotel (Palms Oasis) the same week. What happens in Vegas should please, PLEASE stay in Vegas. Even though we know in either of these cases it won't.
3. The Packers are hot (2-0) and the Brewers are in a race for the playoffs after months of wavering frontrunnership. So all these years of wishing on those falling chunks of Skylab have finally paid off. Thank you, Gawd.

Hope your own moments of self-congratulation don't come back to bite you in the panties today. Rock on.

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