Monday, December 31, 2007

After her last day at daycare with the Lutherans, Maya soaks up the sun

As 2007 comes to a close, we prepped Maya to upgrade to her new daycare center in our new neighborhood. I hope y'all head into 2008 with as much pleasure as we do while saying a fond farewell to our Lutheran friends in Ballard.

My all-time favorite shot of Maya enjoying a quiet moment at Smokin' Pete's.


Some random kid inadvertantly articulated what Maya's departure actually means.


Ladies and Gentlemen - the cast of the 147th off-off-Broadway revival of "Grease"

Everyone watches with quiet contentment while Maya strangles the evil doll before leaving.


Friday, December 28, 2007

Dubya's priorities...

Pakistan should be front and center on everyone's plate today. But we live in a silly time and place, so tiger attacks and year-end lists top the slate for many. I'll return to the point and offer a few quick thoughts on yesterday's tragic assassination of Benazir Bhutto. First of all, I was shocked to wake up early yesterday morning (aided by Maya's demands just after 5am to get the day started), turn on CNN and NPR @ 5:10...and soon learn that I had been briefed approximately 20 minutes before Dubya. What does the leader of the Free World watch @ 7:30am on his "ranch"? My bet is well-worn SpongeBob SquarePants DVDs. Snark aside, I have a theory about this whole mess. The Musharraf government is telling the truth. It was al-Qaeda that orchestrated the plot. Conspiracy theorists are playing off the worst fears of Pakistanis - Musharraf had Bhutto whacked. That's easy to ignite in the public imagination since the population of Pakistan is largely illiterate and given the recent crackdown on the formerly independent media, sourced only by state-controlled or compliant lackies. But I suggest you think about it through this prism for a moment - kill the opposition leader supported by the Americans and you accomplish two things. 1) Cause anarchy. 2) Ruin both the hopes of the Bushies to calm Pakistan and undermine any future claim of Musharraf's legitimacy. I'm sad to say that I believe we've once again been gamed by the "terrorists" our leaders have spent so many lives and so much treasure to demonize. In one fell swoop, we've once again lost a country that we supposedly bought at the Pottery Barn years ago.

The last hypocrisy that I can mention today is just now percolating over the wires. Dubya has threatened through surrogates to veto the Pentagon funding bill for this fiscal year over a convoluted rationale that I strongly believe he and his minions will regret almost immediately. In a nutshell, language in the bill allows victims of Saddam Hussein's rein to seek compensation from the current Iraqi government. How we have jurisdiction over this, I have no freakin' idea. Somehow, the current Iraqi government turned the screws on the Bushies to set up this fight. As a result, Dubya has thrown his Executive Branch veto power down as the gauntlet once again. One question to all those Congressional Staffers that I know hang on my every word - can you please plan to split this ripe melon wide open given the changes in Pakistan and omnibus domestic appropriations compromises to justify full hearings on all aspects of this massive Defense bill? Fact check - as best as I can glean, the Defense bill amounts to $459Billion, and the ominbus domestic/debt-servicing/Medicare/Medicaid/SSI bill was tagged at $555Billion. Which do you think deserves a closer looksie? Maybe Dubya did us all a favor on this flub.

Hope your own budgets are signed, sealed and delivered today. Rock on.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Christmas Day run garb. New teddy bear from Grandma required.

It was just the three of us here in Seattle for Christmas. We missed out on family gatherings, but kept in touch. And it was a fabulous day. Early morning gifts, a family run around the neighborhood, a visit to the playground, a surprise dusting of snow, a roaring fire and a quiet dinner with all the downsized trimmings. Hope y'all can also list the blessings while being pleasantly verklempt. Rock on.

"Ride, ride, ride, let me ride!"


"Ride, ride, ride, let me ride!"
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Maya's distant ancestors wandered the desert for generations sporting the same surprisingly fashionable terry-cloth rodes.


"Seriously? I have to eat all the paper, Daddy?"


Sunday, December 23, 2007

A man you all would've loved to meet - Dale Short

Blogging is vapid. The impermanence, the snarkiness, the self focus - yuk, yuk, yuk. Don't get me wrong - I've been guilty of the crime for years. Yet as much as I strongly believe in what I have to say, there are days when I couldn't care less about the immediacy and momentary nature of the forum. Such as today. I lost a man I admired beyond words today. Dale Short. My godfather.

Dale was a business man, a family man, a veteran, a pilot and an all-around larger than life stud in my eyes. For the first time ever, I Googled him today after my Mom called to say that he'd died early this morning. I found nothing. Not surprising, I suppose. Dale was a product of a different era that couldn't care less about casual exposure to random mentions. Dale leaves behind a full family, a rich history and assuredly volumes of stories. But I need to offer my own. Maybe this will bridge some sort of gap. Define it however you see fit.

One particular summer I went to stay for a week with my godparents, Dale and Margie. I must have been about 8-years-old. Surely no more than 10. So I was an idiot. Cute as hell, to be sure. But an idiot. I remember clear as if it happened yesterday the night before I went back home. I rode into town with Dale to buy among other things something that I'd never seen before - coolies. C'mon, you know what I mean - those insulating can coolers that in the 70s were made only of styrofoam and are now so varied and ubiquitous that they don't even seem to have a name anymore. But for an 8-year-old riding in his godfather's Cadillac back to the farm, they seemed like an enigma that I couldn't even begin to consider. I remember Dale explaining that they could keep drinks cold. I remember Dale being as excited as me to try them out. I remember taking them into Dale and Margie's screened porch, where we were joined by a friend of Dale's who had dropped by. They each got a beer out of the fridge. I got a "pop" - a Fresca or, possibly, a Rondo (if it had been introduced by that time). Dale and Margie were too good at parenting to give a kid caffeine that close to bedtime, but they could sure as hell understand what a treat a "pop" on a Friday night would be. Dale gave me one of the new coolies. As surely as I can see the keyboard in front of me, I remember looking into that silly styrofoam coolie and seeing a hole in the bottom. But I was trying to be cool. I was hanging out with my godfather, after all. So I poured the entire can of Fresca into the coolie and, subsequently, through that hole and onto my lap. I was mortified. Dale's friend started to laugh. But - here's the point - without missing a lick, Dale reached over and took the can and coolie and said "it happens to all of us." I'll never forget that moment of kind reassurance. Dale was one helluva man.

Hope you remember those you'll never forget today. Rock on.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

R.I.P. - The Crocodile Cafe

http://www.classicrockmagazine.com/resources/classicrock/he%20who.jpg
It's very appropriate that Seattle is suffering through an especially dreary day given the news that the Crocodile Cafe has shut down. For those that joined me in the corner booth in the back bar (you know who you are), glasses are being raised in respect. The place was a glorious dump. Everyone went there. The owner (Stephanie Dorgan) recently divorced what was assuredly the club's cash cow (Peter Buck from R.E.M.). Stories earlier this month chronicled how they were bouncing checks and losing valued employees. It's sad. Really. I remember too many shows there over 5 years in the 90s. I remember seeing Tad passed out in another corner booth. I remember the Lovely Diane flirting constantly with my friend Bob over months and months of inaction. I remember the time I saw some dude blow a guy on the stage just before the exhaltant, impromptu end of a set (the above pictured bassist for "The Dwarves"). Said blowing amounted to my last live show in Seattle before moving to Dallas, Texas where I believe seeing a guy get blown by another guy is still a capital offense. Then I remember seeing The Hold Steady there a year ago after I'd moved back to Seattle, intermingling with the friendliest crowd I can remember since, well, ever becoming a part of a crowd in a music venue. It was as if nothing had changed. But it's now obvious that something changed. I remember the Croc. I'm sure I won't be the only one who can't - or won't - forget.

Hope your own venues are booked for the foreseeable future. Rock on.

Monday, December 17, 2007

"Next up - an interpretive dance meant to describe Mike Huckabee's stance on health care reform!"

Big Holidaze partying weekend for us here in Seattle. As I'm sure most experienced, aside from those candidates stinkin' it up in Iowa and elsewhere. It started for us with a Jesusmas program at Maya's daycare center on Friday night. Pretty standard fare - carols, Lutheran doctrine, condemnation of the National Endowment for the Arts, illegal campaigning from the pulpit - just what you'd expect to get the pyres burning to cast a glow on the Season. But seriously, Maya performed well, remembered all the words, and we bolted before the social hour for some BBQ chicken and all the fixin's across the street at her fave, Smokin' Pete's. For those demanding pics, I'll do my best to glean something clear and cute from the mix. Rest assured - she was fully decked out even though the halls were poorly lit.

Thereafter, we spent the weekend hitting the work party circuit like Paris Hilton with a brand new bikini-line tattoo ready to show. Three gatherings over Saturday and Sunday. Maya was on fire - so sugary-cute and charmingly in your face that I think she gave a half dozen people cavities. Except for whenever a family dog entered the frame. I think she ripped a vein out of the back of my neck leaping to safety on at least one occasion. She's definitely freaked by our so-called "best friends" even though we've had no real incidents to point to for the origination of the trauma. I blame it on some sort of genetic mutation from my childhood spent covered in animal hair and much much worse back yonder in 'Sconi. When she gets over it, you'll be the first to know.

More fun for Packers fans this weekend - Favre set another record for yardage and generally looked as good as he does in those surprisingly sexy Wranglers commercials. I'd be willing to bet that one of every three boys born in Wisconsin from now through mid-January is named Brett. One in four girls, as well. Extra points will be awarded to that breed of maniac that actually names a child Favre. For them, I suggest "Farven" - kinda like "Marvin" - which might even be justifiable for the foreshortened version. But make sure you add one of those trendy offbeat color names for the middle moniker (Sienna, Hunter, Burnt Orange). If you need other parenting suggestions, you know where to reach me.

Hope your own teams have a bye week lined up for the New Year. Rock on.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Be kind, please rewind.

Almost all of today's newshole will be filled with George Mitchell's newly released report on all the closeted roidheads in Major League Baseball. Sadly, even the widely beloved Milwaukee Brewers will need to address questions, largely surrounding their otherwise beefy off-season acquisition of relief pitcher, Eric Gagne, who was identified as one of the minions of dorks using human growth hormone over the last bundle of years. What I see from the spectacle thus far is simple - even the ESPN commentators are saying that this report is largely grounded in heresay. As if Jon Kruk went to law school. I say that the public has already decided. The "Steroid Era" will taint all those who played therein, sadly. Roger Clemens is obviously the biggest fish caught in this loose net. I've perused the Mitchell Report and I suggest that all baseball fans do likewise. Heresay or not, the overall dump smells stinky.

Sure to be largely lost in today's shtick is follow-through on today's last Presidential Debate before the Iowa Caucases. This time the Dems lobbed softballs at each other. From what I've seen it was largely a yawn. But one exchange was a stunner. Barack Obama got questioned about his emphasis on "change" with a few prominent Bill Clinton Administration advisers on his staff or otherwise associated with his campaign. Hillary Clinton piped in before Obama could answer with her trademark cackle and the comment that "I'm looking forward to hearing that." Obama, who looks like he's in the zone and the much younger, stronger person in the mix, waited a perfect downbeat and responded with "Hillary, I'm looking forward to you advising me as well." The crowd roared. Hillary looked like she knew just how hard she got slammed, vaguely obscured by a time-tested political smile. Sites like the Huffington Post were immediately all over it. And slowly the drip, drip, drip of Hillary's melting support pools at the feet of her staff in Iowa, New Hampshire and beyond.

Hope your own interrogation tapes don't get returned by mistake to the vid store in that overdue "Notting Hill" case. Rock on.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Maya looked a bit overwhelmed by the options at our local Xmas tree lot.

We picked up our tree last night. Time to decorate tonight. The perfect family activity for the last night of Hannukah. Check back for more.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

What didn't Dubya know, and when didn't he know it?

Everyone's contorting the release of the Iran "National Intelligence Estimate" to meet their own needs. Obviously, we'll get no more consensus out of this than that for the college football Bowl Championship Series. But a few of my favorite rabble-rousers are focusing on what I also believe was the most shocking "admission" from Dubya's presser yesterday. Namely, his claim that he was only briefed on the NIE last week. He was told of it's formation by National Intelligence Director Mike McConnell in August. Sy Hersh reported over a year ago about this upcoming NIE. Hell, even Israeli Prime Minister Olmert was briefed on the NIE last week. Does anyone believe Dubya on this one? I'm mean, REALLY believe? If he lied yesterday, he should be held to account for it. As if. If he actually didn't know (or request to know), then I surmise he's one of two possible versions of the Dubya we all think we've seen time and time again. 1) Scandalously incurious and incompetent. Or 2) Purposely kept out of the loop. I can't bring myself to comment on which version is worse for the Nation.

Weather-wise here in the Northwest, you've all probably seen the endless aerial TV coverage of the flooding in Chehalis, Warshington where the I-5 was under 10-feet of water. I thought a different reference photo might help.
This is Maya and yours truly during a picnic break in a Chehalis park just off that flooded part of the highway in July, 2006 during our move up to Seattle from San Francisco. I think the water level in this area was up over the rooftop of the community center you can see in the background. Thankfully, we had no issues in our part of Seattle. Loads of rain, to be sure. But everyone's safe, dry and hardly even musty smelling. Or at least normalishly musty smelling.

Hope your own basements stay dry all day. Rock on.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Robert Zimmerman mooched off Sigma Alpha Epsilon for a whole semester at the University of Minnesota before moving to NYC

December's come to Seattle like a drunken Santa, kicking over everything in his crooked path. Slushy snow over the weekend, big blustery rain today, forecasted showers of flaming kittens and poisonous tadpoles probably next. We, however, cut against the grain yesterday and had a very nicely attended Housewarmer Brunch. Thanks to all who came, chatted, ate our food and didn't even think of barfing in our bathrooms. If you didn't get an invite, um...well let's move onto a few newsie items.

Another National Intelligence Estimate came out this morning dealing specifically with Iran's appetite for noo-cu-ler arms. The threat? Not so much. Our own agencies say they stopped the weapons research and development in 2003. They may be able to acquire a weapon between 2010-2015. Which is like saying the Bush Twins might win a Nobel Peace Prize sometime before 2015. Highly dubious and impossible to logically support. Now just watch how this gets spun by the Bushies who are already in full-on obfuscation mode. I'm sure we'll all be amazed by just how dangerous the Whirled once again just became.

Hillary is swinging high and hard at Obama, deciding to attack his integrity. Which is like Chuck Norris making cracks about your haircut. This load of shingles just ain't gonna cover the roof. But thanks for giving us all a chuckle, Hill.

In overdue movie reviewingness, we caught a couple flicks when we were in Santa Barbara for TurkeyDaze. "No Country For Old Men" by the almost always interesting Coen Brothers is a spot-on adaptation of Cormac McCarthey's pulp thriller. Even the squeamish will find plenty to love in this one. But it's almost too spare, too smart and too perfect to be an A-level flick, if you can believe it. My rating - a strong B-plus.

But the Todd Haynes flick inspired by the mythologizing of Bob Dylan, "I'm Not There", is brilliant magic realism. Best movie I've seen thus far this year. Arm yourself with just enough awareness of Robert Zimmerman's character - real or otherwise. Suspend disbelief. And you'll be stunned. Haynes has always been a fave of mine - ever since he made the disturbing yet astonishing "Poison" adapted from a bunch of Jean Genet stories (big, gay French dude who wrote prison erotica). And if you've got an underground vid store that doesn't fear lawsuits, "The Karen Carpenter Story" was how Haynes made his reputation while still a college age arty-farty type back yonder at Brown. Blah blah blah. "I'm Not There" will either wow you or piss you off. I was wowed - big full A-rating.

Hope your own housewarmers leave dozens of mini-cupcakes just lying around. Rock on.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

"And if you lived in Hawaii, does that really give you a license to critique poi?"

The Dems are certainly heating up. Everyone's taking chances with their rhetoric. All those covering the race in Iowa and beyond are struggling to not hyperventolate over what they think they've heard. But one nugget from today makes me think Hillary's feeling the heat in the kitchen more than she's used to. Namely, she attacked Obama by implying that living in Indonesia in his pre-teen years doesn't allow him to criticize current American foreign policy. Or whatever she was trying to say. Parse it yourself. I see it as a major-league dumb-ass flub on her part whatever the spin. With poll numbers headed the opposite direction of what her team expected, this might be an anecdote that nobody can spin. Or it might be bunk. It just struck me as a particularly bitchy moment.

Hope your own calls from Omaha deal almost entirely with arrival times today. Rock on.

Monday, November 19, 2007

"Who am I? Why am I here? Why do I still have a career?"

I won't fall for the alleged charm of Mike Huckabee. Please remember, he was one of the three GOP candidates that responded to a "show of hands" question at a debate that he didn't believe in evolution. He's trying to run as a Baptist minister who condemns abortion as a Holocaust. He says that terrorists are the greatest threat in our Nation's history. But he knows how to make lemonade out of crap. His Chuck Norris ad is hilarious. I recommend watching it, chuckling (pun intended) and then going back to believing that this man is the equivalent of James Stockdale in this election cycle.



Hope you don't watch a single episode of "Walker Texas Ranger" today. Rock on.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Novak once ate a puppy in Reno. With a spoon.

We've all seen the battle initiated today in the Dems Primary Race an embarrassing number of times before. A major political campaign gets sideswiped by cowardly innuendo, in this case from a traitorous windbag some decades past his prime. The thusly engaged parties involved throw flaming balls of crap at each other. Everyone gets burned, while somebody (usually the roped-in dope, or dopette) survives to fight another battle. And the jerk-off who threw the first bomb gets to start more battles later. In campaigning, it's called the dark arts. For tax purposes, those paid to do it call it "opposition research". I call it something else - the Full Novak.

To explain - Robert Novak threw a bomb of an undefined "story" in his especially horrid column meant to tarnish Barack Obama with "scandalous" overtones that was blamed on Hillary Clinton's campaign. No one knows any of the details yet. But Obama's already come out this afternoon to say don't "Swift Boat" him and Hillary's minions are spreading loads of counterattacks and denials. We all know Novak's the ultimate dooshbag. We all expect unending scandal in the current state of electoral wrangling. Sadly. But did ya expect that a guy who was utlimately responsible for outing a CIA agent and sending Scooter Libby to jail would go this far, this soon thereafter? I can only hope that this story is nothing but bunnyfarts and we all laugh, laugh, laugh at the momentary ripple at this stage of the campaign. But hope ain't shite in politics. It's just a hick town in Arkansas.

Hope your own weekend is focused on what it should be - football. Rock on.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Next question: "All of us in (insert appropriate Hickville reference) want to know if you believe that prayer is helpful with your work?"

Hillary's campaign continues to amaze. If you've not yet heard (and I was pleasantly surprised that a particularly well-informed dinner guest last night hadn't), her latest kerfuffle relates to planting questions in the audience of Iowa rallies. As if. Everyone knows it happens given all the 20-something advance staff marshalling supporters and cheeseballs around the endless events they're currently droning on through. Yet the way her people have handled it "without her knowledge" convinces me that she's once again trying to have it both ways. She condemns attack politics, but doesn't deny it happened in her shop. I'll say it again - horrible, horrible campaign work. The action is much, much less offensive than the reaction. Which leads me to repeatedly intone that we should all be very afraid of the arrogance of the Dems heading deep into the '08 cycle. Congress ain't even baked a cake much less given anyone anything they can use during their leadership. And we're supposed to believe in this "inevitable" candidacy? Somewhere right now, Howard Dean is screaming in an airport bathroom. Oh, and that's in no way meant to be the pun you think was intended.

On another Hillary follow-up, the Maid-Rite waitress, Anita Esterday, gave an interview to The Huffington Post regarding TipGate. No surprises if you're entirely cynical. Her life has been turned upside down and she will no longer consider voting for Hillary. If you're unacquainted, you can catch up. Anyhoo, I sound like I'm piling on here. But I seriously feel like this sort of junk targeting her was as likely as Tuesday following Monday. Guess that makes me the cynic, after all.

The NYTimes scored an interview with Pervez "The Perv" Musharraf in which he offers the most Orwellian defenses of martial law since, well, Orwell. But that was fiction. Pakistan is a nation-sized keg that's gonna get dropped at least a few more times before it makes it to the deck and gets tapped in the crowd. Thereafter...well, stand back and try not to hold the first glass.

Big news upcoming on the Maya front. We're shifting her from the part-time educational care of the Lutherans to that of the Jews. Call it a system upgrade. Or don't - no offense to all those Lutheran IT managers out there. Regardless, it won't happen until January. So pics of the Jesusmas pagent will still get some play here before we get ready for all the High Holidays that I vaguely remember come somewhat annually. But don't quote me on that. In all seriousness, it will be very nice place for her advancement just down the hill from our home. Maya's impressive command of all the lyrics on the latest Justin Roberts album I think slam dunked her application.

Hope your own upgrades go smoothly today. Rock on.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Attention DC Servers: Tucker Carlson will "leave a Hillary" for every meal for at least the next year.

Oh. My. Gawd. Hillary. Sucks. Or, at the VERY least, her campaign staff is so ruthless and tonedeaf that they don't deserve a chance in Hell once things really get dicey. Confused? Call it TipGate. NPR broke the story yesterday inadvertently, regarding a visit to a Iowa restaurant by Hillary and her subsequent use of an anecdotal exchange with a waitress, Anita Esterday. The waitress claims Hillary left no tip. I listened to the report yesterday and today's follow-up in real time. Without a doubt, Ms. Esterday (a single mother of two boys working two jobs) is legit. Everyone agrees that it's utterly ridiculous. Still, in the most incredibly stupid fashion I've ever seen, the Clinton campaign is trying to trash this minimum-wage working woman including using a pseudo-slick new counter-attack website. Somewhere right now, Matt Drudge is spooging into his mock-tweedy pants.

The follow-up story on today's "Morning Edition" is essential reading/listening. Do I think Hillary intentionally tried to short Esterday? Surely not. But the utter ruthlessness of her minions' response and obfuscation concerns me greatly. I expect that Hillary's campaign is the front-runner. I think she's a smart manager. I, nonetheless, understand why so many people so deeply despise her. Most of it's not her fault - she's surrounded by opportunists that will never rightly admit a wrong. But this story has legs that shouldn't even be possible. By not admitting that a mistake was made and instead offering up credit card receipts that in no way supports her story, Hillary's staff just lost her tens of thousands of votes from waitresses nationwide. Horrible, horrible campaign work. If anything thus far for '08 has approached the toxic volatility of Howard Dean's overplayed scream in Iowa, this sucker has the volume.

Hope your own tips are at least 25% today. Rock on.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Make my sauce extra-snarky, please.

Just to get it out there quick and easy - Pervez "The Perv (eternal credit to Harry Shearer)" Musharraf in Pakistan is running the funniest con-game since "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" gave us Steve Martin as Ruprecht.



Back to the point at hand - if anyone buys this State of Emergency, I've got a handful of other States in the Middle East to sell you. Atrocious. But the one moment of levity in this whole debacle is that all Pakistani lawyers appear to dress alike. Not exactly "LA Law" couture for the counselors down yonder. Some shtick aside, though - Dubya's schedulers are posing as almost vaudvillians (eternal credit to me for that linguistic construct...please). Specifically, he spoke out for the first time about the crisis with the Prime Minister of Turkey seated next to him. Who probably had a Kurd tied up in his limo. Who also got to scold Musharraf for his extra-legal abuses. Somewhere right now, on strike satirists are peeing in their pants and grinding their teeth down to the nubs.

Hope you're all still hailing the manhood of Brett Favre while snacking on some Kansas City style ribs today. Rock on.

Friday, November 02, 2007

When Ayad Allawi's the funniest man in the conversation, we're so totally screwed...

A quickie reference to the NYTimes Op/Ed page today. Which was a fairly sickening distillation of everything our current political reality represents in a single page. Paul Krugman rightly eviscerated Rudy Guiliani - in this case regarding his fear-mongering on, of all viable possibilities, health care options. David Brooks wrote the least funny piece possible regarding the Dems debate earlier this week. And Ayad Allawi (assuredly ghost-written by shameless shill and former Bushie Deputy National Security Adviser Robert Blackwill) railed against elections. In Iraq. Cough. There are thousands of take-aways from this trifecta. Do yourself a favor and search for your own. You owe it to the cocktail parties you'll hopefully attend this weekend.

Hope your own jokes today are eons better than the umpfrickinteenth reference to John Edwards' hair or Joe Biden's verbosity. Rock on.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Maya and Groucho prep for an evening of toiletpapering our new neighborhood.

Maya demanded that her Halloween costume from last year be recycled. She's so Seattle. We added the beak and let the new neighborhood drive the fun. Which was truly warm and on occasion silly. We hope y'all had at least as much fun as us during our most recent pagan fest. Rock on.

Maya's soundtrack this Halloween was equal parts Travolta and "Chicken Run"


"Could you ever refuse me candy?"


Please don't fixate on the beak. Repeat - don't fixate on the beak.


Zombie Maya says "Love the Milwaukee Brewers..."


Maya's new coloring book. Everyone loves a new coloring book.


After seeing Justin Roberts, Maya looked toward the Croc to see what else might be of interest on their marquee.


Saturday, October 27, 2007

And then he tried to peck the wallet out of my shorts...

For those that are sick of the political that I realize I've focused on far too often recently, I offer the following.

Earlier today we took Maya to her 2nd lifetime concert. Justin Roberts @ the Moore Theatre where she saw Dan Zanes last Spring. Justin isn't especially overwhelming. He'd never be called the Rolling Stones in contrast to the Beatles for kids tag that might be applied to Dan Zanes. But he can play quirky songs with a rockin' edge. The half-filled Moore was largely entertained for the 75-minute set. Maya was be jammin'. But, in the most telling moment of the entire show - when Justin Roberts and his entirely fun supporting cast of "Not Ready for Naptime Players" came back out for a single-song encore...Maya asked when Dan Zanes was going to play. Getting compared to a different artist is never fair. Gawd knows I've heard it far too often whenever Brett Favre gets brought up in reference to my high school football career. Regardless, I've give Justin Roberts a solid B rating for the show. Now if only Dan Zanes would come through Seattle before next April.

There are plenty more Maya stories that might be of interest, but I'm still fixated on one freakish moment yesterday when I was prepping to run around Green Lake. For those that don't know of what I speak, Green Lake is an urban oasis for Seattlites that all of us occasionally run/walk/bike around. Yesterday was a particularly clear yet brisk Fall morning. With a full moon sinking over the Western horizon. I dropped Maya off for her morning session with the Lutherans early with the not entirely unitentional motive of getting a run in around the Lake before things got busy. Everything was going according to plan - I parked in the half-filled lot that's usually the busiest, stretched, and got the iPod set with a few fresh distractions. And then I walked toward the trail. And got dive-bombed by a rogue crow that "cawed!" loudly as he/she hit me just below the chin. No blood. No rabies (hopefully). But how screwy is that? Who, I ask you, has ever been more of a defender of the birds? Well, maybe Robert Kennedy Jr. Or pirates. Still, I haven't been able to look at our feathered "friends" the same way since. I hate to be alarmist. But be afraid, America. We've done something wrong and "they" know it. Remember, you heard it here first.

Hope your own conspiracies deal entirely with college football today. Rock on.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Or about the price of a used Hummer

A few tidbits of scary news caught my eye this morning.

USA Today breaks down a Congressional Budget Office report that does the long-term estimate on the cost of the Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Hold onto your hat - $2.4 Trillion. The Bushies are already calling bullshite on any mention of the report. But with the latest fiscal year request of $196 Billion for borrowed cash and the pre-war Bushie estimates of around $50 Billion TOTAL, I'm expect that two and a half TRILLION is probably nearing the actual mark. By the way, that works out to $8K for each and every American. Even the rich ones.

All the smoke over Blackwater USA's cowboy attitude is obviously indicative of lots more fire there (sorry for the unfortunate metaphor given all the scariness in Southern California). In a story that will quickly dissipate, the State Department has $4 Billion in annual contracts with them and 16 other private mercenary companies. And our people under Condi @ State have 17 people overseeing the contracts, or an average of over $230 Million per person. Sound fiscally responsible? I don't think so either.

Mitt Romney picked up a telling endorsement - Bob Jones III of the infamous Bob Jones University. So a Mormon is now palatable to the outer fringe of American evangelicals. Proving that he too is a uniter, not a divider.

Hope your own news perusing focuses mainly on the start of the World Series today. Rock on.

Friday, October 19, 2007

The Line

I'll start out obvious today - we live in an age ripe for political satire. Rank hypocrises fly by all of us like so many roadside billboards. Yet I've always expected that there was a dividing line. That line runs between those trying to manipulate our electoral system (the Parties' apparatchiks) and those making fun of manipulating our electoral system (everyone else). Weh-eh-eh-ell...the Florida Democratic Party crosses over that line by supporting a particularly hilarious satire site that went live today - DraftKatherineHarris.com. It features YouTube clips of past compilations of her somewhat obvious crimes. It offers some of the cheesecake that makes Kat so eternally delish. But, I must admit, it goes somewhere that I don't think either Party should go. If the people running the campaigns become as snarky and cynical as the brilliance behind our Nation's best satirists, we've stepped over that line a stride too far. Judge for yourself.



Hope your own lines are uncrossed today. Rock on.

UPDATE: I just saw last night's "Colbert Report" and he used "the line" as a joke to define the silliness surrounding his fake campaign for Prezidunt. So neither of us stole it. As far as I know.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Let's all please agree to stop calling it a "bully pulpit" for the next, oh, 15 months or so, mm'kay?

Maya's sick and has been so for a few days. Discomfort on the level of a Larry Craig interview. But there are a few nuggets that I need to weigh in on before all the highly-paid pundits steal my thunder.

Sam Brownback's dropping out of the GOP race. So all the Brownbackers will now presumably become Huckabees. Ah, poetry.

The House failed to override Dubya's SCHIP veto by a handful of votes. Somewhere right now, Rahm Emanuel is toasting the future of his Party with Snidley Whiplash-like glee. Meanwhile, millions of kids are suffering. After a few days of seeing how much a child can suffer with exceptional healthcare, I feel more than ever that we as a Nation don't know shite about this issue any longer.

Dubya's invocation of "World War III" as a boogeyman during yesterday's press conference will, in my estimation, be one of his most quoted banana peels from this era of incompetence. To even bring it up from his self-proclaimed "bully pulpit" indicates how little he knows about his job. After nearly 7 years on the job. If he was a teacher, he'd have hit the bricks by the final bell yesterday. Instead, we've got 15 remaining months of this goober.

Seattle was warned that a big windstorm was bearing down on us today. It veered and it now appears that British Columbia might soon be leveled. Which is a drag, because I still hadn't made it up to Whistler.

Hope your own hatches are battened today. Rock on.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Maya checks out one of the umpteen cameras her Dad has trashed in days past.

After our most recent unfortunate camera incident during a playdate with friends in Minneapolis, I've once again made a visit to Best Buy to get a replacement. Since I'm working my way through the entire field, this one's a Canon. My initial reaction is conditional love. Expect many more shots over the next few weeks as we test it. Hope your own drops are all lemon today. Rock on

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Throwing immense piles of elephant poop

Last night's GOP debate was atrociously lame. While too many are focused on the internecine sparring, the tipping point moment was Mitt Romney saying that a President would need to "sit down with his lawyers" to determine if a pre-emptive attack on Iran was doable. Ahem. Ron Paul went apeshite and will surely see his already crazed internuts send cash by the bushels in response. Everyone else just looked horrible both before and after. Rudy Guiliani has the scariest worldview imaginable - he must be having marital problems. Again. Fred Thompson has as much of a chance of becoming President as David Spade. Duncan Hunter and Tom Tancredo both have to be gay given the Larry Craigness of their vitriolic nonsense. Sam Brownback and Mike Huckabee have the dumbest names in the history of the Republic. If any of these maniacs are our next President, we're all moving to Canada.

Hope your own debates are about chicken vs. fish today. Rock on.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Bowling for Crandon

It's so typical that it barely makes the front-pages of America anymore - a killing spree in a small town due to some sort of hothead snapping like a treebranch in a light wind. But the massacre of 6 people and the killing of the cop who murdered them over a stupid argument surely caught my attention. Because it occurred in a small town in Northern Wisconsin much like the one I grew up in. Crandon, Wisconsin. Just outside Rhinelander on Highway 8. Full of people that live to hunt and fish and snowmobile and cheer for the Packers. In the early morning hours after the Homecoming game and dance, a jilted boyfriend got insulted by an ex-girlfriend and the friends she had over for pizza and movies. He went back to his car and grabbed this gun.

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Then he killed everyone in the room except one who was critically wounded. The shooter was a 20-year-old off-duty cop. The town is devastated. And the Nation shrugs. There's a GOP debate in Michigan tonight. Do you think anyone's going to ask that field of gun nuts to comment? Me neither.

Hope your own weapons are locked not loaded today. Rock on.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Without realizing - shame on all of us.

Here's a hand grenade - the piece on the Bush Administration's torture policy in today's NYTimes cuts to the existential core question of our Nation's survival. Read it. Dubya has loved to defend his actions over the last few years by saying some retard version of "history will decide." Well, this smells an awful lot like history. Even if you don't give a rat's arse about civil liberties or if the nuances wash over you like so much simulated drowning, it is chilling. I'll sum it up for those that can't be bothered by the itemized dissembling of our core values about human liberty. The Bushies believe that torture can be defined to allow for the shite-beating of people we capture in foreign lands. Head slapping, naked exposure to freezing temperatures and simulated drowning are not torture. At least if it occurs off American soil. This piece is chock full of the most astonishing crap since the last season of anything Paris Hilton was associated with. But the stunning asides - John Yoo being known as "Dr. Yes" within the Justice Department, James Comey calling out David Addington as the nefarious bastard that he surely is, Janet Ashcroft sticking out her tongue at Fredo Gonzales and Andrew "Lowest Possible" Card as they left her husband's hospital bedside? Frickin' priceless. This one's gots legs. Bet your last diminished, disgraced dollar on that.

Hope your own national disgraces deal with womens' World Cup soccer today. Rock on.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Looking back...

We've been back in Seattle since Sunday after a weeklong visit to Wisconsin and Minneapolis. Unless you know us well, you probably had little idea of this brief change of locale aside from a few pics that I'd posted. My family's home is Wisconsin's gorgeous Northwoods has a dial-up Intenet connection so I just kind of dropped off the radar for a bit when it came to posting. And our time in Minneapolis was more of a chance to visit old haunts and hang with cherished friends than a time for commentary. So as a means of catching up, I'll give a brief rundown before I get back to my usual brand of snark.

My hometown is within a few miles of the highest point in the State of Wisconsin (Timms Hill, just outside Ogema). Fall always comes early to that part of the State. This year's colors maybe weren't the best ever. But they were so utterly gorgeous that all day long I found myself marvelling at new angles or what seemed to be rapidly changing hues on the rolling horizon lines or the gravel roads that we drove down repeatedly. We spent quality time with Grandma and Grandpa for Maya. We tried to get her excited about the animals to no avail. We saw the land complete its yearly march through the harvest. It was beautiful. Little changes in the land of my youth. I hope you can see that in your own life, no matter the fashion.

Minneapolis surprised me in so many ways. On a long urban hike just before going to the Gophers game Saturday I saw the phenomenal vista that is the new Guthrie Theatre alongside the utterly rejuvenated "Mill District" just West of the rapidly improving mess that is the 35W Bridge Collapse District. Maya got some playdates with the kids of college friends of mine. We used to be so punk rock. Now we're so pleasantly normal and connected to our new hometowns. I see Minneapolis and Seattle as cities cut from the same cloth - vibrant, stylish, somewhat misunderstood places that welcome families, college kids and immigrants alike. Sure, I'm biased as hell. But to all those that showed me a chunk of what I used to know so well in a slightly revised light, thank you.

Hope your own memory lanes are lined with the falling leaves of autumn today. Rock on.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Can you imagine a creepier bathroom to go cruising in?

This is the vista outside the now-famous bathroom at the Minneapolis-St. Paul Airport where Larry Craig was busted for "allegedly" cruising. I even found the stall itself. All I can say is please, please move the Snoopy statue, America.

Nothing accents an outfit quite like stylish glasses, a funky necklace, and an array of mink sheds in the background, doncha think?


This shot of my Dad walking out to the hayfields behind my parents' house sums up more of my childhood in Wisconsin than any shot I've ever taken.


Maya takes stock of the birdfeeder goodies with Grandma.


Ah, that first cut on that first Jack o' Lantern of the Season.


Blowing kisses goodbye with Grandpa after a lovely Autumn visit to Wisconsin.


Friday, September 21, 2007

"Plus, that Mother Theresa chick left the building one of my people just told me."

I'm embarrassed to admit that I didn't watch Dubya's entire presser yesterday. But as the viral flux of our age has shown me today, I should have. Let's face it - Dubya makes the not-so-occassional gaffe. Still, saying that Nelson Mandela was dead and that Saddam Hussein bizarrely had something to do with it is a new level of head-scratcher. 16 months, People. 16 more months of this guy running our Country. Short your stocks now. Or stock your shorts - however you whether these periods.



Hope your own weekend trips take you where the fall colors cancel out any notice of Red States versus Blue States differences. Rock on.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

"And for those keepin' score, it's not like an A in tax-cuttin' is something you can get every semester, heh heh."

Everyone knows Dubya was/is a lousy student. But why can't we as Americans ground him for lying about his report card as he did earlier today?


No wonder he'd say he got a B in Econ 101 when he actually got a C-minus in a two-semester cycle of introductory Econ courses. Remember, America - he was blotto until he was 40-years-old. His recall of grades during his Sophomore year at Yale is the equivalent of asking him what Barbara packed him for lunch his first day of cheerleading camp the summer prior to getting jazzy in prep school at Phillips Academy in Andover, Massachusetts.

Hope your own grade transcripts aren't Googled today. Rock on.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

"Just a bit outside."

I've been repeatedly impressed with Jon Stewart over the last many years. But his interview with Alan Greenspan last night was definitely one of his best. While so many others are attacking Greenspan for his new book's self-serving defenses of the looming housing value meltdown and the Iraq War, Jon took the opportunity to ask him actual economics questions. I can almost guarantee that this is the only way that teenagers and college kids are getting exposure to macro-econ. Even those enrolled in those horrendous undergrad courses that we've all forgotten entirely. Kudos. The Emmy for "The Daily Show" was entirely deserved.

The Brew Crew won a big one last night on the road in Houston. That makes 4 in a row. With 12 games to play, they're in a virtual tie with the Cubs who have 10 games remaining. And this weekend we're heading back to Wisconsin for a visit prior to a conference for Sarah in Minneapolis. Special irony bonus - we're flying into the Minneapolis Airport. So after a stop by the Larry Craig bathroom stall (please check back for pics), expect that I'll be glued to Bob Uecker's play-by-play call during an honest-to-Gawd playoff chase. If you could see me right now, you'd know that I'm nippin' out.

Hope your own bathroom stops are equally worth a creepy snapshot today. Rock on.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

The Chicago Cubs will die angry and miss everything cool

Today's Top Three driveby stories of the most obvious and overdue derision.

1. O.J. Mudderfu**ng Simpson. Stealing back memorabilia including the suit he wore at his acquittal in '95. I strongly suggest the judge in Las Vegas require that he wear his bounty at his upcoming sentencing.
2. Britney Spears. I, for one, thought she was totally hot as she meandered around the stage in Las Vegas. Oh wait - what are the odds that both O.J. and Britney would dissemble entirely at the same hotel (Palms Oasis) the same week. What happens in Vegas should please, PLEASE stay in Vegas. Even though we know in either of these cases it won't.
3. The Packers are hot (2-0) and the Brewers are in a race for the playoffs after months of wavering frontrunnership. So all these years of wishing on those falling chunks of Skylab have finally paid off. Thank you, Gawd.

Hope your own moments of self-congratulation don't come back to bite you in the panties today. Rock on.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Depart Off Failure

So there you have it America. Dubya calls the pre-ordained troop rotations a "Return On Success." As Thomas Ricks pointed out last night for the Washington Post - it sounds like a Merrill Lynch ad. A bad one, I'll add. If Dubya was worth more parsing, I'd get my panties all in a bunch and do so. But I've got a different point to make.

Iraq is doomed. Other nations in modern history have dissembled into decades of civil war given a horrifying minority acting off of a majority opinion of dissatisfaction. But this one's a totally new level of screw-up. And as the instigating Nation, everyone back here in the US of A is tarnished. The anemic anti-war movement inspires less people than those hepped on the new Fall TV schedule. The fraudulent pro-war movement are the same genetic strain of hooligans that enjoyed the gladitory events at the Colliseum before the fall of Rome. And people like me that have been against this sort of folly since 9/11 are just as screwed as the lot of us. No wonder Britney Spears drunkenly hogging the spotlight @ the MTV VMAs is so much, much more fun. Here's my point - we need to get mad. Intelligently mad. The Surge is a failure. The Extension of the Surge meant to "Return On Success" is a fraud. People need to rise up, march in the Streets and clog up the business of Government. Our Nation can't take this extension without suffering the ultimate loss. That of the Nation itself. I got in trouble with a group of beloved friends a year ago saying that we are a more divided Nation than at any time in our history, even though we don't realize it yet. I won't claim prescience. But that's what it increasingly feels like. We can't settle this Iraqi civil war even though we caused it. We must stop. One more dead American is far, far too many. And that's all I've got to say about that.

Hope your own riffs lead to something more today. Rock on.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Next question: "Why do you call our people 'troopers' not 'troops'? Just wondering..."

House Minority Leader John "Not Boner" Boehner (R-OH) will never be accused of being well-timed in making outrageous statements. But his latest assessment of our losses in Iraq as "a small price" is as far as I've seen a foot go into a mouth in quite some time. If he gets away with saying this and not needing to apologize, we're all asleep at the switch.



Dubya speaks down to the Nation tonight. We all know what's coming. My only question is whether there will be any reference to the leading provincial Sunni Sheik blown to smithereens today, just 10 days after meeting with Dubya on the American base in Anbar Province. I expect he'll need to make this latest casualty into the latest psuedo-inspiring figure. How sad. I just hope some of the media availability of General Petraeus and Ambassador Crocker that has been so pronounced these last few days will continue today so that somebody gets to ask the question - "How can you hold up Anbar as such a success when one of new allies was just assassinated?" Please, somebody ask that question.

Hope your own calm is anything but relative today. Rock on.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

And you thought "Encino Man" was bad...

Ah, twue wuhv.

Senator David Vitter (R-LA) is the latest "family values" adulterer to see his goose again nearing the edge of the stove. Hustler's Larry Flynt outed the hooker that Vitter would "visit" 2 or 3 times a week yesterday. Weirdly-timed, but still a stinkstorm should arise. It would have infinitely less impact if Larry Craig hadn't announced his "intent" to resign. As has been stated by many others in various forms, the big difference being that Louisiana has a Democratic Guhvanator (unlike Idaho) and most of us know that the replacement is appointed by the Guv. I can't say that I'll be buying my first Hustler to gain intimate insight into not only this tawdy affair. But my political tabloid gene will definitely be keeping a leering eye on Vitter as this story sputters or roars.

Petraeus and Crocker had thankless jobs before the Senators yesterday. But how did they actually do? Miserably. They took fire from all angles. Now Dubya's gotta come into the fray at long last Thursday night in a televised address meant to redirect fire at him. Ugh. Lee. Obama's finally showing some foresight in scheduling an Iraq withdrawl address this afternoon in Iowa. He'll get a huge bump in whichever direction. He'll dominate the argument today among the Dems especially since the only news Hillary's making today is ugly fundraising broadsides being thrown from all angles. But everyone else is going to trash this "surge" extension worse than the entire career of Paulie Shore. The dynamic will change. The Bushies won't be on offense any longer. And like so many other instances, they didn't see this one coming even though they should have.

Hope your own hookers know enough to stay on drugs and avoid ratting you out today. Rock on.