It's been a long while since a picture on the front page of the NYTimes made me laugh. But seeing Obama enjoying a moment holding up both Mitt Romney's and Karl Rove's latest cheese screeds at an Iowa City bookstore induced more than a few yuks this morning. I'm sure wonky folks all across 'Merica this morning are spitting up a bit of soy latte when they catch the implied meaning of that shot. Kudos are due for that one, BigCity PaperPeople. Even if they do hate our freedom, they're pretty goshdarn clever.
Speaking of which, that bookstore (Prairie Lights Books) must be stoked. Obama bought three kids books there after giving them a shout-out during his health care reform event. Some lucky staffer surely dug doing that advance location scout. I'm sure his whole staff was loving the campaign throwback theatrics of it all. Obama even got to field a heckle about paying for his books with taxpayer money. In effect, that is true. So kudos to the heckler, as well.
Hope your own job lets you spend copious time browsing in bookstores today. Rock on.
As I predicted along with much of the punditocracy, Obama chose Biden as his Veep. So let the bullshite commence. McCain's people are digging holes as fast as they can fling the dirt. Everyone's using a Dems debate clip wherein Biden says that Obama's not yet ready to be the Big Guy. Also, calling this a pick made from a position of weakness on Obama's part figures into every right-leaning assessment. Yawn. Sure, Obama went conventional in this pick. He had to. All the oxygen will now be sucked from the race for the next handful of days as the Dems put on their best face in Denver. Thereafter, the real race begins. The GOP will never admit it, but they face a much more complex calculus with regard to whomever McCain picks as his Veep. I simply cannot believe that it will be Romney. Even though I hope it's him. If it's Tim Pawlenty (R-Gov., Minnysoda) who's so boyish-looking that Neil Patrick Harris could be his twin brother...well, they just won't go there. So here's my pick. It's a stealth longshot, I admit. Charlie Crist (R-Gov., Florida). He'll clinch a big state that the GOP desperately needs for any hope this time out. "Chain Gang Charlie's" tan is impeccable. His recognition outside of the South is currently minimal. Most people will probably think he's that character actor (John Slattery) from "Mad Men" who played the guy that wanted Carrie to pee on him in a classic episode of "Sex and the City". Personally, I think Tom Ridge is the man to pick since he'd bring Pennsylvania home for the GOP - another big pivot state in the electoral map sense of the race. But the crazies won't allow Ridge to complete the ticket because he's the slightest bit pro-choice. As in he believes that rape and/or incest is reason enough to not go through with a pregnancy. If we've learned anything since the Bushies stole the election in 2000, it's that the crazies are the loudest voice in the tent for the GOP. So call it Crusty and Cristy. Remember, you heard it here first.
Maya's first week of swim class went, um, swimmingly. She's timid, but much less afraid to get in the splash and flow of things after just 5 mornings of lessons. One more week to go. Plus next Saturday is her last ballet class. Up next? I'm lobbying for either motorcycle repair or jarts. I'll keep you posted. Hope your own summer calendar isn't winding down quite yet. Rock on.
For all my GOP friends, welcome to your Goldwater moment - John McCain won the nomination with Mitt Romney's release of pledged delegates. He's doomed unless Hillary wins the nomination, but I respect McCain. I couldn't disagree with him more on the issues of importance to our future, but I respect McCain. And I think he's pandered more to his rhetorical enemies in the last few years than anyone other Ryan Seacrest, but I respect McCain. Romney? Pull-eeze. Regardless, half the field is set at the top of the ticket. My bet for McCain's Veep? Here's my longshot offer - former Colorado Governor Bill Owens. If I'm right, you all owe me a Coke.
I've been a fan of Josh Marshall's TalkingPointsMemo since '04. His commentary is only surpassed by his site's journalistic method. He provides the best debunking of the SuperDelegates story surrounding the Dems to date. In short - chill out, chumps. These Party players are holding their cards. Whoever provides the best storyline for the nomination wins in the end. That's why Hillary is playing so hard and fast for committments now, when they're sure not to come.
Hope your own Veep is chosen merely to make you look like "the skinny one" today. Rock on.
Alas, the Mittens are off. Somewhere right now, the Romney Family is strapping the dog to the roof of the station wagon as they prep to head off for a sober, sad ski weekend. But Mitt Romney dropping his utterly hilarious bid for the "sake of the Country and (his) Party" ain't worth more than a blip on the radar now being clogged with endlessly interesting dissection of the remaining Primaries for the Dems. Or, more importantly, the Delegates from said Primaries. If some of the smartest politicos are to be believed in their logic, there appears to be almost no way to prevent a brokered convention in Denver for the Dems. Say it together people - "soo per dell a guts". Get used to the sound. This may well be the one election cycle where even political junkies like me begin to question the nature of the condition.
Hope you own campaigns only suspend for chocolate breaks today. Rock on.
I'll sum up Super Tuesday in one word - wahwhozzit? With only New Mexico still undecided (Obama leads by a mere 71 votes), it's becoming clear that both the popular vote and delegate counts are almost exactly even. Unprecedented and fascinatingly complex. Bomb-throwers are speculating that the Clintons will need to lend millions of THEIR OWN money to the campaign to keep things rolling over the next few weeks while the smattering of contests look to seriously favor Obama. Quite a change from the penny-ante days of Whitewater, eh? Regardless, the whole race is just starting to simmer. Hence the absolutely ridiculous statement from Hillary last night during her "victory" speech that she "won't let anyone Swift-Boat this country's future." I'm not alone in wondering just what to take from that making it to a prime-time speech. Be afraid people. Be very afraid. This is gonna get muddy.
On the GOP side, McCain's a shoo-in. Romney's a bigger flop than this season's New England Patriots. Huckabee's a barely lovable Luddite. And Ron Paul will forever be known by his tattered bumperstickers on pick-ups and second-hand Hummers just like Kucinich is immortalized by similar campaign art on rusting Subarus and bike commuters' paniers from sea to shining sea.
Hope your own Super Humpday is a landslide of fun. Rock on.
Boy, was I wrong. Hillary apparently nailed it with women voters by showing her human side. Unlike almost every single living American spouting off yesterday about what was bound to happen in New Hampshire, I'll actually apologize. I'll never be wrong again. Promise. We should all expect the next rush to judgment will come from the same punditocracy describing Obama's demise. I should take a break from commenting and just read a few books about other things and/or begin prepping brats for this weekend's NFL Playoff game between the Packers and Seahawks. But, well...I'll just pop off briefly to keep the chops up. Barack Obama will raise cash in the next four weeks like a junkie Trump. Hillary Clinton will get back on the inevitability train, taking the occasional heart-to-heart Sanka break. John Edwards will labor on and still no one will notice. Bill Richardson will pour three fingers of single-malt and light a phattie. Dennis Kucinich will keep the Viggo Mortensen vote, lose those few thousand hippie-veggie-oil biodiesel votes. My Republic Party picks for New Hampshire were pretty close, so I'll stand pat - John McCain faces many laps worth of hurdles but pulls it out. Mitt Romney will flop all over the place like a wounded marlin. Mike Huckabee will add the surviving cast of "Hee Haw" to his celebrity cavalcade. Ron Paul will soon be riding the bus with Mike Gravel. Duncan Hunter will still be in the closet. And we'll hear about it until this fascinating election actually ain't so much anymore.
Hope your endorsements all come from the exotic dancer unions today. Rock on.
It's go time. Everyone in the political universe and their central-casting retarded cousin and/or loving wife is currently in New Hampshire, prepped and over-caffeinated before tomorrow's Primary. So I'm going to offer a hopefully tasty rhetorical biscotti to munch on while considering anyone else's at-least-as-plausible prediction. With a challenge. I'll bet all comers One Canadian Dollar to offer up their own full breakdown. The closest by points (over or under) to each individual pick, then totalled for a final score wins the Loonie. I accept PayPal. Or general kudos. Game on.
The Democrat Party Barack Obama - 46% Hillary Clinton - 29% John Edwards - 16% Bill Richardson - 7% Dennis Kucinich - 2%
The Republic Party John McCain - 36% Mitt Romney - 28% Ron Paul - 18% Rudy Guiliani - 9% Mike Huckabee - 7% Random morons - 2%
You can tell what I'm feeling. Hope y'all have the popcorn ready for tomorrow's feature. Rock on.
Last night's GOP debate was atrociously lame. While too many are focused on the internecine sparring, the tipping point moment was Mitt Romney saying that a President would need to "sit down with his lawyers" to determine if a pre-emptive attack on Iran was doable. Ahem. Ron Paul went apeshite and will surely see his already crazed internuts send cash by the bushels in response. Everyone else just looked horrible both before and after. Rudy Guiliani has the scariest worldview imaginable - he must be having marital problems. Again. Fred Thompson has as much of a chance of becoming President as David Spade. Duncan Hunter and Tom Tancredo both have to be gay given the Larry Craigness of their vitriolic nonsense. Sam Brownback and Mike Huckabee have the dumbest names in the history of the Republic. If any of these maniacs are our next President, we're all moving to Canada.
Hope your own debates are about chicken vs. fish today. Rock on.
Tough Friday news dump for the GOP. White House Press Secretary Tony Snow's resigning, Sen. Larry Craig is hanging on by a thread lit from both ends, Sen. John Warner's out of the race for his guaranteed re-election in '08, and it's not even the close of bizness on the East Coast. I hope someone's told Dubya his Party's ending while he clears brush or plans for Jenna's nups or whatever is on top of his agenda in Crawford. But if I held the briefing book, here are two oddballs I'd throw into the mix.
I'm currently shaped much more like my linebacker days, but I was also a competitive runner. Mitt Romney's no competitive runner. His new ad has more heavy breathing and odd pacing than geriatric porn. Watch it if you've over 21. Or rather, don't. He's such a fraud we shouldn't encourage further virility spoofs on his part.
The WashingtonPost today buried a little gem from the Green Zone in Baghdad that I'm sure will lead to a much larger story on the spin we'll be seeing over the next few months. Obviously, soldiers are being given bios of visiting Congresspersons to shade the stories told. Or maybe this is just part of a grander plan to encourage spitting in the food of certain dignitaries. It's a brief story, but so so damn worth reading. September will be a cloudy shitestorm of empty debate wrapped in a monstrous styrofoam layer of inpenatrable lies covered in truth-retardant goo. Just like Catholic school. Hey, don't blame me - I was raised a Methodist.
Hope your Labor Day weekend is heavy on the weekend, light on the labor. Rock on.
Michael Bloomberg today filed the papers necessary to quit the Republican Party. In other words, he's running for President in '08. Consider him Ross Perot with much more money and much less crazy. I'm sure every single candidate in the race is freaking out. Even Mitt "Today I Believe This With All My Heart, I Think" Romney. Billionaire without constraints trumps millionaire raising money mainly from Mormons. Even in Utah.
Hope your own third party is picking up the kegs at the moment. Rock on.
Today's non-headline being overcovered is that Fred "Please ignore most of the reviews" Thompson is readying a hat to toss into the GOP quicksand. Or as some prefer - the search for a slightly farther down yonder exit strategy. Take your pick. I just wonder what's his rush. He's from show bizness, fer chrissakes. Don't rush the opening. He could wait out this circular firing squad 'til September and still be a darling. Sure, he's shooting for an official announcement on the Fourth of July. As if the enemy won't know exactly when and where to attack on that date certain. Hasn't he learned anything from watching old Tom Clancy crap? I mean, c'mon Freddy - you were in some of that crap. You owned that crap. Yawn. Speaking of that holiday week - Putin and Dubya are going to meet in Maine for talks. Doesn't THAT sound like it was ripped from the pages of a lesser Clancy plot. Fred would be wise to join my bet that everything else is news scraps that entire week.
Mitt "My wife was hot!" Romney just took a good hard shot to those pearly whites with a HuffPost headline and very loose logical connection. All because the "360Million but hey who's counting" Mitt offered not to take a Presidential salary. AttaBoy, Mitt. Actually he plans to donate it to charity. To no doubt list as an itemized deduction. Still, it's not like he's buying companies to go all Gordon Gecko on them. This time. Now we'll see how his organization's hitters respond.
I spent a healthy portion of Memorial Day weekend with my brother, Jake. We met up where he is for the summer - Corvallis, OR. The 73rd most interesting place in the State (for Wisconsin, it would be Merrill). Corvallis's motto that's on bits of everything is "Enhancing Community Livability". Seriously. So we headed for Portland, which is such a funny smart city. Best of all sorts of very fun stuff - I got us some scalped tix to see Arcade Fire in a crazy cool venue. Luckiest scalp job in my personal history. My rating - solid A. The ten of them (!) throw a wall of art school rock at you, fused with all sorts of cool influences and years of music nerd training and crazy theatrics and brilliant staging to make it all somehow bigger than rock and roll. It's just fun to listen to and watch in truly rudimentary concert-loving form. The crowd was gregariously hilarious. Arcade Fire could have played longer. Who cares. If you get a chance, check them out. Especially live. You'll be impressed.
Hope your own day's staging would work as well in a football stadium as in an intimate cafe. Rock on.
The GOP field for Prez is pretty hard to like. The storylines are all predictably lame. Romney's shown more spit and polish than I expected. Guiliani's playing the bombthrower. The margins (Tancredo, Gilmore, Ron "Actually Two First Names" Paul) are weirder than usual. Yet in summation, dull dull dull. I'm not betting on Fred "Aces: Iron Eagle III" Thompson livening things up. Still, can't hurt. Especially if you check out his latest homestate Sunday newsy profile.
More importantly, the Brewers are so hot it's largely surreal. They are finding all sorts of ways to win games. Hot hitting, great pitching, strong bullpen. Ned "Huge Nicknamer Guy" Yost wanted a hot start and got exactly what had been predicted. Prince Fielder is scary. JJ Hardy is hitting like a 'roidhead. Everybody contributes. I'm telling y'all - this team is the real deal. Me so happy.
Hope your own profiles track down only the kids from high school that thought you were like totally cool. Rock on.
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