Friday, August 31, 2007

"Attention: Representative Whatshisface likes the BeeGees and once smoked a clove with a dwarf in Prague. YOU WERE WARNED."

Tough Friday news dump for the GOP. White House Press Secretary Tony Snow's resigning, Sen. Larry Craig is hanging on by a thread lit from both ends, Sen. John Warner's out of the race for his guaranteed re-election in '08, and it's not even the close of bizness on the East Coast. I hope someone's told Dubya his Party's ending while he clears brush or plans for Jenna's nups or whatever is on top of his agenda in Crawford. But if I held the briefing book, here are two oddballs I'd throw into the mix.

I'm currently shaped much more like my linebacker days, but I was also a competitive runner. Mitt Romney's no competitive runner. His new ad has more heavy breathing and odd pacing than geriatric porn. Watch it if you've over 21. Or rather, don't. He's such a fraud we shouldn't encourage further virility spoofs on his part.

The WashingtonPost today buried a little gem from the Green Zone in Baghdad that I'm sure will lead to a much larger story on the spin we'll be seeing over the next few months. Obviously, soldiers are being given bios of visiting Congresspersons to shade the stories told. Or maybe this is just part of a grander plan to encourage spitting in the food of certain dignitaries. It's a brief story, but so so damn worth reading. September will be a cloudy shitestorm of empty debate wrapped in a monstrous styrofoam layer of inpenatrable lies covered in truth-retardant goo. Just like Catholic school. Hey, don't blame me - I was raised a Methodist.

Hope your Labor Day weekend is heavy on the weekend, light on the labor. Rock on.

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