Saturday, December 31, 2005

"Hey, Dad. It's someone from 2005. Apparently it's over."


Maya takes her pick from the holidaze avocado harvest.


Maya ascends the stairs in Nanna and Poppy's house. And the possibilities opened multiply mightily.


"You put your right foot in, you take your right foot out..."


Maya discusses the inherent benefits of both pretzels and Cheerios with Momoo.


Maya uses sign language to comment on her tutu and head-garter-thingie from Auntie Becca.

Best caption wins a framed shot of Maya.

Friday, December 30, 2005

Two movie reviews for the price of one - "Brokeback Kong"

We saw "King Kong" a few days ago. Everything you've heard holds true - it's over 3 hours long, the effects are overwhelming, Kong and Ann (Naomi Watts) fall in love, Skull Island has a freakishly diverse ecosystem, the Empire State Building is the setting for a final epic face-off. If you're expecting some sort of new twist (Kong can TALK!), you'll be disappointed. But if you're looking for a amusement ride that's especially thrilling and well-built, Kong's your main monkey. My rating - a strong B-plus. I'd eek it up to an A-ish rating if it didn't feel somewhat bloated. Although I'd not trade the gross-out, creepy-crawly scenes in the Second Act for all the conciseness in the World. Peter Jackson is now officially the rightful heir to the epic director moniker George Lucas has dragged through the mud and worn to shreds over the last decade or so. While my usual appreciation for Adrian Brody was tested mightily by a thankless role and Jack Black over-acted the crap out of his ample frame, Naomi Watts is typically astonishing. She can emote more with just her face than a battalion of eight-headed Cameron Diazs could ever muster. LOVED her in David Lynch's freaky-cool "Mullholland Dr." DOUBLE LOVED her herein.

Even better than a big hairy ape - gay cowboys are cooler than at any time since the first Village People album. "Brokeback Mountain" was touching, stunning to look at, and unflinchingly full of emotion. I'm possibly being unfair, but my rating is an A-minus. The minus only comes from the caveat that the pacing never seemed to break into a full stride. Although the elegiac tone is entirely appropriate. I'm probably one of 37 people on the planet that liked "The Hulk", but here again Ang Lee's skills will rightly regain widespread acclaim. Heath Ledger's half-spoken, half-hidden Western dialect is frickin' cooler than a Windriver Range meltoff stream. Jake Gyllennhallenhagen is more uneven, but I now see he's true to the character portrayed in Annie Proulx's original shortstory (found on a funky coffeetable in the cafe, Muddy Waters, I've come to dig bigtime here in Santa Barbara). The supporting cast is uniformly good. The Wyoming vistas widen your eyes like a gutpunch. The tasteful allusions to the Matthew Sheppard murder in Laramie should be the focus of all those assface conservatives trying to do the reacharound on this movie's real meaning. Even if you've never met a cowboy, we can all imagine some of them being gay. I mean, puul-leeze!, look at their absolutely fabulous clothes. But in all seriousness, do yourself a favor and not only see this movie. Discuss it. Piss off the James Dobsons of the world and consider the truth behind the loneliness in denying your true heart. If you smoke, have a pack ready for after the movie. And nod in unison with the acknowledgement of how powerful a great film can be in making a reluctant society consider its hateful shortcomings.

We're heading back up to San Francisco later this morning. Maya's back on her West Coast schedule and happy as a young dog in the morning surf. No big plans for the New Year on our end. But if you want to be on my Year Ender mailing list, drop me a line. Hope your own plans for the next few daze give '05 the proper sendoff. Rock on.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

The "Year Ender" Countdown Begins...

For those of you that have been wondering what's happened to and the Family Buick over the last week, I'm happy to report that I'm back in California after a healthy and happy Holidaze in unseasonably warm Northern Wisconsin. I was a bit too pleasantly preoccupied with stuffing my face and showing off Maya to get all snarky about the constant drumbeat of goofs from the Bushies over the past few days. I'm sure the NSA is happy to have had me off their watch list up through Festivus. But since I'm psyched to be both back on this horse and supplied with broadband connectivity, I've put up a few pics to start showing Maya's reaction to my homeland's snowy Seasonal beauty. Maya seemed to wholeheartedly sync with the 'Sconi vibe, played well with her cousins, and generally charmed the long underwear off those we encountered along the way. The weather was approximate 60 degrees warmer than last year (highs right around freezing), which allowed for some outside time and no discernible loss of digits. Highlights included a sleighride on a local farm with the whole famn damily, delicious local "delicacies" (venison, pheasant and lutefisk, just to name a few), our traditional Christmas Eve service at my family's Methodist Church in Spirit, Wisconsin (an ACTUAL place, I assure you) and loads of quality time with Grandma, Grandpa, and the whole cheery clan back yonder. At the moment, Maya, Sarah and I are in Santa Barbara, doing the same sort of special bonding with the other side of the Family Tree. Expect plenty of shots from this festive mix to be posted in the next few days to balance the Holidaze punch.

As we're heading to the end o' '05 and prepping for the Delightful Backside of the Aughts that begins in '06, I'm putting a few thoughts together for my Traditional Year Ender Missive meant for family, friends and interested observers. If you'd like to receive a copy or worry that I've lost your email since you got out of jail, send me a quick heads-up to be included in the distribution list. I won't post the Year Ender here, but I'll be happy to include you in this hopefully entertaining summation of '05. And I'll also peg you for future mailings that will showcase all the updated features I've got planned for '06. Hope your own Year End lists are filled with reasons to look forward with unceasing glee. Rock on.

Monday, December 26, 2005

"So this is snow. Cool."


"So this is snow. Cool."
Originally uploaded by emaggie.

Maya considers her connection to the Great Beyond from the front pew in the family's teeny church in Spirit, 'Sconi. And she's deemed entirely worthy

A large ungainly hunk of deer - it's what's for Christmas Eve dinner. That, and lutefisk.


Maya shows her Big Cuz Kate that baby teeth can slice, they can dice, they can make you look silly...


Maya gets some frosty snugglin' from her Uncle Jake.


Maya and her Big Cuz Dan react to the herd of buffalo alongside the sleighride trail.


"Dad - either take me to the ice skating rink or Sizzler. Not both."


Sarah and Grandpa Herb chillin' down on the Ranch.


Tuesday, December 20, 2005

One deep eight-tooth laceration for the Road.

Much like the Bushies, I'm trying to turn the other cheek on the whole NSA story for a few days. Not to mention the pesky post-election realities in Iraq - it seems Ayad Allawi's about as graceful in losing elections as Dubya is in winning. But all the necessary parsing of these and the other end o' the Year stories (Bono and the Gates as "TIME" Persons of the Year...are you freakin' nuts?) will have to wait a teensy bit. We're packing up the family caravan and heading to my homeland, the Temporary Home o' Favre, for the Holidaze. Our flight leaves in a few hours. We're going for 5 days, but you'd think we were invading Winnepeg for all we're packing. And as I try to get a post up for you, beloved reader, Maya's making a game of biting my leg. Which makes me glad we picked up that BabyHannibal facemask for the trip. Expect regular updates over the Holidaze. Hope your own stockings are hung with care. Rock on.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Look soulfully into camera...snap fake salute...point at heart...fake having heart...

Am I the only the one that found Dubya's utterly inane speech this evening to be most disturbing because of his perversely moronic sign language? Honestly, have you ever seen someone try so obscenely to accentuate every statement with hand movements? I'll be putting in a call to the American Sign Language folks (who are doin' a heckuva job) tomorrow to see what they have to say about Dubya's bastardization of their beautiful language. Not to mention that of years of abuses directed at the English-speaking citizens of the World. Regardless, if you saw anything new in this speech, you should be the one we rely on to tell Maya about Santa Claus. Because you're able to see what's not there. Gawd bless you. And Gawd bless the U.S.A. (flap, flap, flap...stick finger in air...twirl...repeat...stick finger in throat...cough up soul). Rock on.

"I still don't understand the pro-haircut argument."


And the clippin' begins...


And the clippin' begins...
Originally uploaded by emaggie.

The verdict is in - "Haircuts rock. And I can now see that my Dad is bald."


"Yes, the cut's fine. But maybe zshuz me some product to add some volume and I'll grab a latte and run a few errands."


Maya shows an involuntary artistic streak.


Maya picks imaginary chiggers off her best friend Jack.


Friday, December 16, 2005

Maya deals with the realization that Peppermint Patty is actually made of plastic.


Maya hardly knows where to begin on a plate full of crappy Holidaze Par-tay food.


"So you've been feeding me veggies and formula when I could be having these cookie things? Are you nuts?!"


Can you hear me now? Bad.

The Bushies hoping to play up the turnout in yesterday's Iraqi election are being tripped up yet again by that darn reality. First of all, good for the 67% of Iraqi voters that got all inky yesterday. We won't know the results in Iraq for a few weeks, and even then it's going to be confusing for basically everyone. And the Bushies have no more artificially-manufactured deadlines anywhere on the calendar in Iraq. Anyone that cared to look beyond the pre-election propaganda knew that already. However, Dubya's signature on a program to spy on American citizens has spun this whole vortex into another direction. In short, the outright criminal nature of the NSA monitoring American citizens is a whole new bowl of wrong to munch on. So now Dubya's got Senators from his own Party calling for hearings while the din of shite-talking on the news channels out both sides of this horrid story has kidnapped the cycle. The details of this anonymously-sourced story are not even close to fully disclosed - that's what will keep it alive for the foreseeable future. Count the PATRIOT Act's indefinite extension out - this NSA story put a stake in that puppy. When we've got revelations that the NSA's tapping phones and reading emails from thousands of American citizens here at home...well, that's the sort of juice that will really light up the switchboards in the District.

Sadly, I'm short on time to bite into today's engorged newz cycle 'cause I'm taking Maya to one of Sarah's work Holidaze midday par-tays. Expect mucho pictures thereafter. Thanks for checking in. Rock on.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

"Dad, if you try to analyze another Dubya speech I'm sooo outta here..."


Jeff Gannon shifts to a foreign post

Dubya's throwing another mudpie of cliches at the backdrop in DC this morning trying to justify the "stay the course" intransigence we're still stuck with. I just don't have the stomach to parse it. Same bunco, different dayo.

One retread story that I did find interesting came from the once-again surprising USAToday. They lead with better details on the Bushies' plan to plant news in foreign media. The bill thus far has been $300M. As far as freelance gigs go, pretty phat cash. I only wonder how much Jeff Gannon's taken from that kitty.

We rented "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" last night. Loved it. If you're still a virgin, it might give you hope. If you're a slut, it will be an only partly uncomfortable look in the mirror. If you're anywhere in between, you'll see the sweetness throughout unless you're dead inside. My rating - an A-minus. We've not watched all the deleted scenes included in the unrated DVD, but I expect that they will fill in some of the non-sequiter gaps. Steve Carrell is absolutely gut-busting and the cast of goofballs around him split up the hilarity evenly. Catherine Keener's never been sexier. Definitely on my Top 10 list for the year. Rock on.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Behind closed doors, the Newz never sleeps.

I'm outside of my typical window for putting anything up today, so I appreciate those of you that have checked back for something of mildly justifiable interest. After a full morning of being hilariously antic, Maya's out like a light for a nap. Our little veal-fattening pen of an apartment has one thing in healthy multitudes - doors. So when Maya's down for the count, we shut her behind a few layers of vertical wood, turn on the monitor, and try to get some things done. For me at the moment that means doin' drive-bys on a passel of stories.

There should be no doubt whether the Bushies are having trouble "standing up" the Iraqi government and it's alleged layers of legitimacy when debates about abusing prisoners put our military on the side of restraint. The Baghdad facility discovered last week sounds atrocious. Any time in the future that Condi or Rummy or fiddle-faddlers like Krauthammer defend the use of torture, I hope someone reminds them of this story.

Dubya yesterday estimated that 30,000 Iraqis have died since we showed up. Which tracks with what the folks at Iraqbodycount.org have tabulated. If I weren't so stunned by Dubya's correct-ish response, I'd have more to say. I only wish someone would have asked him how many WMDs had been found.

I saw a bit of the Brian Williams interview with Dubya on the "Today" show this morning. In it Dubya tries to claim that he reads the morning newspaper ("not every article, of course"). What paper, we don't yet know. My bet is the Times. The Washington Times, that is. Aside from the whole Moonies link, Dubya also loves their salient placement of "Marmaduke" and "Hi and Lois" in the midst of their Op-Ed page. Actually, I made that last bit up. But it's at least more plausible than Dubya actually reading the newspaper.

After seeing the Pack limp to victory on Sunday, I now realize that this year's top college player, Reggie Bush, is no longer headed to 'Sconi. But even if the current Packers management had the first pick, I expect they'd pick Billy Bush. Get used to the margins, Packer fans. Because that's where we're gonna be viewing the NFL from in the next decade.

The Guvahnator denied Tookie's clemency. So without any cheesy lines of movie dialogue, we're left with another deathrow vacancy. I can understand that all sorts of people believe in the death penalty. Personally, I think it's shameful. But until someone proves that an innocent person has been executed, most Americans will turn their eyes away from stories like this one. That proof is coming, though. Of that, I'm quite sure.

The Diebold voting machine CEO that promised to deliver Ohio for Dubya has resigned citing "personal reasons". There's plenty of buzz saying that whistleblowers brought fraud to the attention of Diebold's board. Anyone shocked out there? Anyone?!!

The Fed just kicked up interest rates another notch. That's 13 straight hikes, from a low of 1% to 4.25%. So just before Greenspan hands over the reigns, everyone's confused about where our monetary policy is headed. If the Bushies weren't up over their asschaps in Iraqness, I'm sure we'd be hearing daily speeches about how well the economy is doing. As it is, I wish the best to anyone out there trying to figure out just how to invest or plan for the future monetarily. We've put all our money in goats. They're pretty smelly and the depreciation's a bitch. Better than Enron, though.

The British paper "The Independent" offers a pretty ugly tabulation today, which marks the 1000th day of the Debacle in Iraqle (my new nickname - not as inspired as "The Daily Show" tagging it "Mess o' Potamia"...but I'm not out for a Peabody here). Every single one of us should read it. Twice. And then we should all call our Congresspersons and ask if they've read it. And then we should ask why our media organizations aren't marking this tragic milestone in the same way. Denial is not only a river in Egypt, after all.

I've got a list of chores to check off, so I should table some of this ramble for a later date. Thanks so much for reading. I'm really getting some great feedback about what I've thrown up against the wall here at and the Family Buick. And aside from being cheaper than therapy or heroin, that's why I'm doing this. Hope your own progress is regularly noticed by medical professionals. Rock on.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

"Walk the Line" - with an appearance by the worst Elvis impersonator EVER

Our first choice for a Saturday movie nite while Auntie Becca sat on Maya was "Brokeback Mountain" which opened here this weekend. But it sold out quicker than the plates of rum balls at a Baptist pre-Jesusmas bake sale. So we finally caught "Walk the Line" and I'm glad we did. I'll never be a Joaquin Phoenix fan (his brother, River, got 71% of the natural talent in that family), although he works his fanny off throughout a rather standardized biopic story arc. In fact, the entire flick feels like a nontheless interesting retread of the formula used last year in "Ray". Reese Witherspoon, however, impressed me more than ever. She's the embodiment of perkiness generally, but here showed more range than I've seen. My rating - a strong B - probably is a smidge influenced by my own love of Johnny Cash.

I would be remiss if I didn't join the choruses of tribute to two great Americans who died yesterday. Richard Pryor walked a tough road, as did Eugene McCarthy. They both had guts, they both inspired millions in completely different ways, and they both won my admiration long ago. We need another of that type of McCarthy, given how many of the Joe McCarthy clones we've got running around these days. And Pryor's groundbreaking comedy still could shock some of the shlock out of today's so-called "edgy" entertainers. They both will be missed.

Before I focus on large men in tight pants roughhousing, I have to mention how little I'm surprised by Drudge flinging some Santorum at "Brokeback Mountain" in an attempt to rile up the anti-gay cowboy Conservatives. His posting from yesterday claims that Wyoming's cowboy history included no gay ones and how tourism from Europe to Wyoming is increasing because of the movie. So Europe is full of gay cowboys? I know the GOP attack monkeys love to accuse Old Europe of just about everything. But THAT's a new one by me. Rock on.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Fighting the War Here, so we don't have to cover how we're losing it over There.

The Bushies continue to show the same hand this week. Last night on "The News Hour" with Jim Lerher, Rummy repeated their argument that the media is to blame for how the Debacle in Iraq is being discussed. General Abazaid's also recently said the same. So we see yet again from horribly underprepared civilians and generals alike - when all else fails, blame the media. Rinse and repeat. This morning on "Washington Journal" while I tried to cram some breakfast into Maya, I listened to an entire call-in segment from military folks and contractors with experience in Iraq about what they think the media is missing. In other words, Brian Lamb wanted service personnel or people who's livelihood depends on work there to assess how things are really going for the U.S. That's like interviewing fans at Lambeau Field about their secret love for the Vikings - you can pretty much script the response you'll hear. But occasional nuggets of insight came through. Largely that we're facing a simmering civil war that affords us absolutely no chance of winning until we leave. And now Rummy's trying to make news saying that 20,000 troops should be able to come home after next week's election. I'd bet this exit has been rushed to implementation because of recent pressure. I'm sure the Bushies would claim that pressure is invented and driven by the media. And the Orwellian logic spins fast enough to actually separate our heads from our shoulders.

Speaking of that pesky ol' media - this morning's entry in the "So NOW You Tell Me" Sweepstakes breaks down the al Qaeda/Saddam link used by the Bushies throughout the run-up to invading Iraq. Although the informant who gave that bad intelligence has long been discredited, the way that intelligence was gathered hadn't been mentioned until this morning. Well, su-prise, su-prise, su-prise! The Egyptians beat it out of the guy after the CIA used their "rendition" policy to hand him over in 2002. So Dubya used a bundle of coerced lies to help justify an invasion that even Paul "What Me Worry?" Wolfowitz now says shouldn't have happened if there were no WMDs or terrorism links. I still like the gams on the whole "how was this intelligence used by the Bushies" angle. Media, shmedia. This is about history.

Sounds as though most of the Country's dealing with Winter's "Big Time!" arrival. San Francisco is typically temperate and we're heading out for Maya's morning walk. Sorry. Although I do love those first big storms of the winter and we're expecting a cold, white Jesus-mas back in 'Sconi. This well-timed aesthetic blast should kick-start the Holidaze retail sector. We're gonna do our own consumerist cavorting this weekend - I plan to wear a bikini, just because I can. Hope your own lists have been checked and checked twice. Rock on.


Thursday, December 08, 2005

"For Hire: Video Artist, with Baggage"

The Air Marshals shooting that dude off his meds on a flight yesterday has caused me to wonder - how would my neighbors who I never talk to characterize me if reporters came a callin'? I just saw a report on the frickin' "Today" show that casually presented neighborly comments for this poor sucker as "worked at a home supply store, did missionary work, and was quiet and friendly." Aside from the cooling effect Mr. Alpizar might have on missionary recruitment, he got some kind words. Mine might be more of the "always pushed a baby stroller" or "no noticably offensive smells" or hopefully "had a vivacious gait". Or more likely "never gave a damn about crossing the Street outside the crosswalk" and "always fiddling with an iPod like a madman." Regardless, I hope we all take this to heart and are nice to a bitchy neighbor today. Even the ones we fear may be cooking the flesh off skulls or holding Bible Study meetings in their basements.

This morning's guilty media junkie pleasure - the mess with the insensitive cop Jesus-mas Party video. I haven't seen the whole thing, but what I've screened has pretty high production value and adequate direction. The scene where the cop runs over an African-American homeless person of ambiguous gender was pretty tight. Some of these suspended cops may have a future.

Maya's digging the space heater - sleeping like a drunk with a fresh case of Listerine. And while the rain fell yesterday afternoon, she was talkative and positively psyched to be out in the Girl in the Plastic Bubble BOB. Actually, getting her out of the apartment is more essential now than ever since she started crawling everywhere and standing up with the aid of any piece of furniture. I've fashioned something of a pillowy den for her in the living room, blocking the exits with Gitmo (her playpen) and some finally-utilized throw pillows we've been moving from place to place with us for years. A few tumbles daily, but all seemingly in good or easily correctible humor. So my ears are also up for all the stories of child development studies or helpful hintyness - kinda like how a decade ago I was always on the lookout for stories about cooking with ketchup or hot spots for the sweatiest dive bar with cheap Rainier pints. Anyhoo, heard one on NPR this morning about getting a 9-month versus 10-month-old baby to follow your gaze with your eyes open and then closed. At around 10 months, normally developing kids begin to notice when your eyes are closed and then don't necessarily blindly (pun intended) follow your direction of gaze. Fascinating, in a very narrow sense. Brains developing are cool, Beavis. Heh, heh. Rock on.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

"Sod is hard work - kinda like freedom."

Dubya's gave another speech this morning before the Council on Foreign Relations trying to tie the Iraqi debacle to not only 9/11 but the anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor. Timing, after all, is everything in politics. And abusing tragic timing is Rule #1 if you're in power, as we've seen time and time again from Dubya. He's trying to put a good face on everything that's gone wrong by pointing out that Iraqis now have 3 million cellphones. And a new soccer field ("with new sod") in Najaf. Amazingly, Dubya's admitted early on that reconstruction has begun with "fits and starts". Love the antiquated cliche` - so drip-coffee-and-a-bear-claw-in-Crawford. But the willingness to recycle old justifications make this just more of the same propaganda. The most telling passage was lifted from one of the many references to Senator Liberman's support of the Debacle. "He's got Joementum!" apparently said that it was important to point out to the American people that the "plan" has not remained "stubbornly still, but has changed over the years." Parse that out and you've got loads to work with. My brain pivots on the "over the years" admission, moreso than the "stubbornly still" Freudian alliteration. In other words, for all the spinning, spinning, spinning to keep this from turning into a rhetorical trip down the Ho Chi Minh Trail, the Bushies have failed miserably. Will this speech change a single iota of the discontent that's now inherent in any mention of Iraq? If you think so, I'd love to forward you some emails I've been receiving for years from lawyers of my dead distant relatives. Apparently, just as in the continued justification of the Debacle by the Dubya, I'm much better off than I realize as this tragedy unfolds.

Over the last week, Maya took an unwelcome turn from consistently sleeping through the night to what I realize is babyish normalness. And for once, it seems as though our Sherlock Holmesy reaction was appropriate. Her room was too cold. Hypothermia can occur even in California apartments. Sarah likes to see her breath when she gets up to pee in the middle of the night. I no longer have any feeling in my extremities. Yada yada yada. So we got a space heater yesterday for Maya's room and she slept through last night in cozy bliss, we're happy to report. Of course, I went with the coal-fired model, so black lung is a risk. But just as in Dubya's decision to go into Iraq, I believe that criticism of my solution is not appropriate at this time in our Nation's history.

Lots more to catch up on. Back soon. Rock on.





Friday, December 02, 2005

"Happy Holidays from the TSA. Now spread your ass cheeks and cough."

My "this story MUST have some legs, puul-leeze!" department for the day - the TSA just outlined how they are relaxing restrictions on small knives, scissors and the like. But to balance it out, they're planning loads more random searches. Oh, and they're putting the changes into effect December 22nd, just in time for Holidaze travel. Just another day in BizarroWorld under Dubya. There have to be legs here because everyone who travels knows that the TSA sucks. The variability in standards from airport to airport alone should be a scandal (as young parents travelling with a munchkin and gate-checking a stroller, take our word for it). But now the Bushies' Homeland Security braintrust is going to allow the instruments used in the 9/11 hijackings back on board planes? Undeniably bad policy. If one thing is universal in the understanding of travelers today it is that you don't pack crap like Swiss Army knives in your carry-on bags. To change that will only be more confusing, won't speed along the lines which are the real complaint of most this time of year, and will show just how incompetent this era of Goverment has proven to be. Maybe airport security is impossible to fully manage. The things we know for certain can hurt us should nonetheless be verboten, hands down.

San Francisco had a real soaker yesterday. We put the rainguard on the BOB, and let Maya play the Girl in the Plastic Bubble through it all. She crashed hard, in no small part due to the gusty winds. The sun's back out today after a crisp 45-degree morning so we're headed back out for a walk. Hope your own trails slant in the right direction. Rock on.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Maya's latest Tale o' the Tape

Maya had her 9-month check-up yesterday. The pediatrician says Maya's "thriving" and her measurements are now all at least in the 75th percentile for munchkins of her ilk. The tale of the tape is as follows:

Height - 28 1/2 inches
Weight - 20 lb., 2 oz.
Hatsize - 45 and something something (90th percentile, so I'm not worried)

Two shots didn't even really bother her much beyond when we'd gotten back out on the Street. Maya's chillin' in Gitmo for the moment, laying waste to the pile of toys she's sitting amidst. It's almost like the garbage compactor scene from the first "Star Wars" where everyone's wondering what might be lurking below. For short periods she'll tolerate Gitmo, but she's all over when she's out on parole. We need to babyproof. Big time.

No news worth harping on today. Lots of angles offered about Dubya's speech yesterday. All of them make me yawn. Journalism is very much the first draft of history. Especially in this instance. Rock on.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Plan For Victory #437 - Free Health Club memberships after only 6 months of Service!

Dubya's latest smirky John Wayne speech ran this morning to accompany the Bushies' newly published Iraq plan (35 pages!). I'm watching with a slight delay thanks to morning mayhem from Maya. So few points stick out of Dubya's usual blather, but here's a few on the fly...

Dubya just called a major group of our enemies in Iraq "rejectionists". Yes, and the "bomberists" and "Baathistists" are also trouble. Rejectionists were effectively defined as Sunnis that feel left out of the democratic success Iraq is experiencing. Dubya looked to his script almost throughout. So this is obviously part of the so-called newness of this speech.

Dubya pushin' WhiteHouse.gov for the Iraq plan - look there for all the latest secret plans from the Bushies. And the new Barney Christmas vid.

Mention was made of "career development courses" for the Iraqi military's officers. Look, I'm all for a well-rounded soldier. But, COME ON! Just train them to shoot and run things.

"Stand up, stand down...stand up, stand down." Dubya sounds as though he's calling a game of Simon Sez on the "Battle of the Network Stars" back in the 70s.

Dubya sums up the Dems by saying "Senator Liberman" on three occasions. I'd wager that's at least once more than Joe heard it over the two-week Thanksgiving break.

When Dubya got around to the "vigorous debate" from the hypothetical soldier's POV, he actually looked pissed. Something's unsettling about this man's self-confidence.

In the end, nothing new at all. Lots of hooey dealing with the daily life of an Iraqi soldier. "Timelines are for pussies. Freedom. Hard work. Terror (as one syllable). And may Gawd continue to bless the USA." Ppppppffffffffft. We're all so completely screwed.

Maya's gotten into some stereo cords and DVDs so I'd better separate her from her quarry. Hope your own shelves stay organized. Rock on.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

"It was better than coating snowballs with Mom and throwing her at the sidelines."

Seymour Hersh's Iraq/Bushies coverage for "The New Yorker" has reached a platform that any news at all from him merits attention. Nothing HUGE in his latest Dubya shakedown this week - focuses on his self-perceived "divine mission" in Iraq. Startling, nonetheless. But much more disturbing is the insight provided by anonymous Generals that will speak to only Sy saying that they're entirely pessimistic and underequipped. Worthwhile reading for those of you that give a rip about your country.

Randy "Duke" Cunningham broke down yesterday like a disgraced sorority sister who'd embezzled all the proceeds from an annual wet t-shirt contest to spend on a full set of American Doll collectibles. The Dukester was disgraced by pleading guilty to taking $2.4M in bribes. By being forced to eat his own past defenses. And by losing essentially everything in the process. For a big fat GOP hawk with a reputation as a flyboy that some claim was the basis for the homoerotic cheese-arama movie "Top Gun", having the news break that he'll need to forfeit his fancy antique French furniture probably hurts worse. Included is a 19th Century crapper (valued at $7200). The Dukester's District in San Diego is solidly Republican, but I can already imagine the ads that one could flush out of this story.

Dubya's trying to change the subject from his full-blanketing of bad newsiness to...immigration policy? It's obvious that the Bushies think we're all incredibly stupid and easily distracted. And many of their friends have already taken the bait and written front-page stories and ominous editorials about our "broken borders" or whatever Frank Luntz-quality talking point they've agreed to use. Is immigration a problem? Sure. But I smell a dusted-off speech being chosen thanks to desperate polling by the Bushies over the TurkeyDay holiday.

About the only moment of real excitement in the Packers' latest horrid loss to the Philly Iggles on Sunday was when a goofball ran to the 30-yard line and laid down spread-eagle. Now it turns out he was spreading his cremated Mother's remains. Some futile, ballsy gestures can be sweet. These people are just cracked.

Back home in SF, Maya's already testing the childproofishness of our apartment. This whole full crawling mobility thing has its downside, I'm sure. Her Highness is now calling for assistance in her crib after a delightful early morning nap (after waking up at 5am). She's such a freakin' good kid. Hope all your own cabinets are locked up tight. Rock on.

Monday, November 28, 2005

"Why am I suddenly dressed like a girl?"


"Give me the 'Day in Your Boots' Tour, Soldier..."

I notice more and more Congressmanly cheeseballs that love to boast "just got back from Iraq, and the troops told me..." But I imagine lots of upcoming tours being reconsidered after a vehicle full o' backbenchers rolled over on the way to the Baghdad Airport. Two hurt. Four adult diapers gravely sullied in DC. I'll be watching this one like a cop eyein' the last jelly.

Movie audiences are obviously starved for any sort of distraction if the new Harry Potter passed $400M world-wide in 10 days. Horrid filmmaking by committee. As a result, I downgrade my earlier review to a D-plus. And equally at fault are the waves of crap being offered by Big Hollywood these days. No wonder video games are so monstrously popular - at least the storylines have some appeal. At this rate, the new "King Kong" will bust every Box Office record within sight. The trailers are movieCrack. You just want MORE immediately.

We're back up to SF later this morning and hope that Maya's been well-timed for a hearty nap. Santa Barbara's been freakin' bedazzling the last few days. Clear as glass skies, and I saw the sunrise this morning without a cloud in the sky. Before dawn, the crescent moon's dark side was wholly visible. Maya's going to miss the wide open spaces at Nanna and Poppy's house. Our little SF veal-fattening pen for her is a different story. Time to start letting Maya get really dirty in the Park. No offense to all entering winter (my parents back in Wisconsin had 4-below-zero Thanksgiving morning). But having the outside option as we enter December is one of the reasons this part of the world is so lovable. Rock on.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Cole Hauser in..."The Underneathening"

As a part of our TurkeyDaze film festin', I'll give "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" a C-minus. Rote, formulaic filmmaking from a sprawling story that was largely adhered to in an effort to prevent the revolt of TrueFans. Lame. Most geeky Potterheads will probably have much to complain about as examples of inappropriate edits from that story. Those of us that are less obsessive will have WAY too much time in this Chapter (2:30 running time, felt like 5:30) to be distracted by unintended funny bits. Like how the actor that plays Ron Weasley looks so much like a young Danny Bonaduce I want to suggest pre-emptive rehab. Or how when Voldemort was finally revealed (played by a quickly recognized Ralph Fiennes), it appeared that his look was stolen from the lead singer of Midnight Oil. Many reviewers have been rather creepy about this coming of age turn for the main characters. I was just bored by the glaring lack of spark, even when those lead characters are charmingly authentic. I believe that by far the best Potter movie was the Third. There's just something about this magical material that pleads for a darker, sillier Director's touch. This floppy turn will still make a bazillion dollars. A bit of inspiration would have been nice, though.

After the movie last night, we scrambled for parking close to the restaurant we'd chosen (Taiko - unpretentious, delicious Japanese). While driving around, I recognized the actor Cole Hauser getting into a car with a friend. He's never gotten close to the likability of his role in "Dazed and Confused" as the white, beer-drinkin', pick-up drivin' football chum. Since then, he's segwayed into crappy thrillers. I then jokingly tried to remember the title of the latest action dud he starred in. I came up with many possibilities, including (use the most faux-bombastic voice possible) - Cole Hauser in "Deep Crevass"..."Hell Lives Below"..."There's Something Down There..."..."Stalag-Fright!"..."Dark Blackness"...they're all good. Or at least they're better than the actual title ("The Cave"). If you're reading, Cole - give me a jingle. I've been thinking and
I've got a buncha ideas that would be perfect for you. We should do lunch. Rock on.

Maya prefers to use chopsticks on her Cheerios whenever possible

Out for dinner last night at Taiko (a wonderful Japanese place in downtown Santa Barbara), Maya did her best to join on in the fun.

"Tofu catapult armed and ready!"


"Tofu catapult armed and ready!"
Originally uploaded by emaggie.

Friday, November 25, 2005

Just when you thought the Brownie was done...

Looking for that special, utterly useless gift for a State, Municipality or corporation that has everything? Michael "Heckuva Job!" Brown has started a disaster preparedness consulting business (cleverly named Michael D. Brown LLC). Seriously. So if you're looking to displace and kill thousands, waste billions or just scare the beejeezus out of your constituents, Brownie's got a plan for you. He's relocated to the Boulder, CO area to drive into the ground, er, lay roots for this new venture just in time for Holidaze shopping. And according to an interview he gave to the Rocky Mountain News, he's not really troubled by the aftermath of Katrina. As he so importantly stated, "I'm doing a lot of good work with some great clients...My wife, children and my grandchild still love me. My parents are still proud of me." No word on how Brownie's pets feel about him. Probably because he abandoned them back in Virginia.

Maya filled up on pretzel salt before Turkey Dinner


Maya gives Poppy some advice on surgical technique


"Dad, just hike the damn ball!"


"Dad, just hike the damn ball!"
Originally uploaded by emaggie.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

"Crazed Balloon, Attacks Lamp!"

Yet another annual story got dusted off following the Macy's Day Parade. "Two people injured" wouldn't usually merit much coverage. But this one's got zing (to be unabashedly sensationalistic). The two injuries were sisters. One was 26, the other 11 and in a wheelchair. Yup. That's what I'm seeing thus far. So it's probably not a chill Thanksgiving in Katie Couric or Larry King's kitchen. "Too many calls to take, Baby!" Or something shamefully to that effect.

It's been a relatively idyllic Thanksgiving in Santa Barbara. The streets are deserted, though. And I'm at a downtown coffeehouse after a warm, oddly foggy run along the beach earlier. The fog came in, then the winds whipped it away as quickly as it came. Sun in between, a bit warmer than usual. I'm reminded of Sandburg's Fog and the lead about "cat feet." Different, but evocative nonetheless. A great beginning to a day. Rock on.

Maya limbers up before doing some laps around the house


A mostly full "Jarhead"

Over our TurkeyDaze break, we're trying to catch up on some of the recent film releases that we've not had the chance to see with our nearly 9-month-old munchkin in tow. Yesterday's feature - "Jarhead" - started things off on a debatably high platform. My rating is a squishy B-minus (I could go higher). While I've not read Anthony Swofford's book, I was impressed and engaged on many levels. The cast is solid, with Jake Jello-and-Marshmallows-en-hall and Peter SARS-ain't-so-bad-but-still-be-on-Gard leading the way. The lunacy shown in the lead-up to pseudo-War isn't exactly new ("Full Metal Jacket" did it better) and the manic partying shown as release isn't either (likewise in "Platoon"). Nonetheless, the crazy juxtaposition of the first Persian Gulf War with what we're currently experiencing in Iraq makes for good pondering. The visuals, especially of the oil well fires and lots of fit, sweaty boy toys, are fab. The madness of our overwhelming firepower being used on such a paper tiger (then or now) is disconcerting. But seeing our young men driven right to the brink of insanity before being dumped back into the real world is the most powerful punch I think this piece of work delivers.

On Nanna and Poppy's hardwood floors, Maya's taken to a much farther ranging style of scooting - both forward and backward. She's screaming up a storm at the moment, echoing off the walls and getting everyone motivated to take her outside for a run/walk. Hope your own pre-gobble gobble activities are equally boisterous. Rock on.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

A Bubp leads to an increasingly stinky Schmidt

Time for us all to take out our tiny violins - Rep. Jean "Did I EVER Step In" Schmidt is all over the news this morning complaining about the treatment she's received after her "cowards run" speech in the House last week. But that's only because the Marine Colonel she claimed as an opponent of Murtha's call for redeployment vehemently denies ever saying such things to ol' Mean Jean. The Cincinnati Enquirer was the first to bother tracking down her Marine - a GOP Ohio state Rep and Marine Reserve officer with the vaguely scatalogical name, Danny Bubp. Apparently, Bubp (excuse me) campaigned for Schmidt in his Marine uniform and is an entirely loyal pro-war GOPer. Unlike the decidedly chickenhawky Schmidt, he says he would never think of criticising a fellow Marine. Yet instead of giving a better defense for her House floor lies, Schmidt is hiding from the media and offered up the following flag-waver yesterday - "First and foremost, I support the troops. They dodge bullets and bombs while I duck only hateful words." In the famous tone of Nelson from "The Simpsons" I can only offer the following - "ha ha!"

Time for a run along the beach and the beginnings of a beautiful day in Santa Barbara. Maya handled the after-dark drive down from SF with quiet dignity, but she's now down for a nap. Hope all your own travels today are followed by equally restful respite. Rock on Rock on.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

The Unburdened Tricky Dick

Dick "Last Throes" Cheney gave the debate over an Iraqi pullout timeline yet another swirlie yesterday. Yawn. I've come to expect that His Supreme Evilness will never acknowledge the validity of opposition to his plans. But the way Mr. "Big Time!" went after all of us pussies yesterday before the American Enterprise Institute begs a brief rejoiner. The quote that made all the newsy replays began with The Big Bypass asserting that his opponents should answer a few "simple questions" that were impossible to answer since they were utterly hypothetical. Kinda like, "if suddenly the sun stopped shining, wouldn't those people advocating solar energy look silly?" Yet beyond the daily revisionism from the Veep, the following chestnut stuck out as a new level of denial - "I repeat that we never had the burden of proof; Saddam Hussein did." So one should extrapolate that The Dark Overlord ain't gonna cooperate with the Congress' new attempts to investigate the misuse of intellegence in the lead-up to our Iraq Crusade. Double yawn. But the lengths to which he'll go to re-assert his unswayable rightness in the face of unassailably valid questions is pretty historic, even if only as a tragedy.

I don't usually pay much attention to the USAToday, but their story on nearly 7000 people still missing after Katrina deservedly caught not just my eye this morning. It led me to the National Center for Missing Adults, which is trying to gather info on the Katrina victims. One should assume that plenty of people have purposely gone missing or that many are mistakenly identified as such. But there's got to be some additional victims, the tally of which stands at 1306 currently. Some coverage of the cleanup is ongoing, yet we've all mostly moved on. I'm not surprised. Just occasionally shocked and saddened by thoughts of how much needless damage could have been prevented.

Another blast from the recent newsy past will blow through around the TurkeyDay news cycle. Cindy Sheehan's group is prepping for another protest gathering in Crawford. The key difference now being the passage of McLennan (not McClellen) County ordinances about gathering/camping along the roadside that are entirely friendly to Crawford's most famous too-often resident and family. Watch for mass arrests. Sizable press coverage. And lots of mountain biking by Dubya.

I watched the Packers get embarrassed yet again last night on Monday Night Football with one of my Vikings fan friends who now lives in San Jose. Both teams are horrible in their own disgracefully incompetent ways. And the always lovable Brett Favre is looking more and more like a Branson Missouri-quality trip down memory lane with each passing game. For anyone that appreciates the history of the Pack, one moment on the sideline shone through brilliantly admist all the dreck. Ex-QBs Jim McMahon (played there two seasons at the end of his career, including the Super Bowl victory year) and Don "The Majik Man" Majkowski were hanging out, looking ready to hit up the adoring ladies at the buffet at Fuzzy Thurston's bar as soon as they could duck out of the game. My Viking friend, Sockie, derisively acknowledged how nice it was that I got my requisite dose of Packer history, probably mandated by a League that still has a permanent set of lips on the butt of the Green Bay "Acme" Packers. And then the Pack lost the game on yet another last second field goal. I hope the entire coaching staff and team are sent packing at season's end. Coat Favre in bronze and ship him to Louisiana. And let's move on, people.

We're off to Santa Barbara tonight for the TurkeyDay holiday. Plenty of pics of Maya should be expected. Speaking of Her Majesty, I'm being summoned for a midmorning snack. Hope all your own orders are equally enjoyable to fill. Rock on.

Monday, November 21, 2005

The Bushies determine what China really needs - Fuddruckers

Everyone knows Dubya hates "reality-based community" distractions like travel and reading. But a story in today's Post even more clearly itemizes how that disdain appears to extend throughout the ranks Dubya brought with him to Asia. The most telling example - while in China, members of his Staff chose to eat at an Outback Steakhouse instead of sampling the local flavors. Twice. No dim sum for the Bushies when there's bloomin' onions within range. No word yet on what they noshed while doing their Mongolian drive-by, but I'd bet they tracked down a Chili's or a TGIFridays somewhere on the steppe. Or maybe notte.

Since her ludicrous attack on the decidedly not "cowardly" Rep. John Murtha on Friday, Rep. "Mean Jean" Schmidt has been getting more coverage than at any time since her narrow special election victory over Paul Hackett in an overwhelmingly Republican part of Ohio this Spring. For all the kudos given to her by the Rush/FOX News/Michael Savage crowd, she's officially become a charicature of a shrill, inappropriate war bitch. Word is that she'll be facing a tough Primary challenge for re-election in '06. Thankfully for her the Congress has two weeks off for the TurkeyDay holidaze. Oh, but when they return in December...

On Saturday, Sarah and I took advantage of a friendly babysitting offer to catch a flick for the first time in months. There's so many things we could have seen, but for reasons that in hindsight make little sense we chose to see "Capote" at an arthouse miniplex in an arty neighborhood we rarely take advantage of (West Portal). As much as I wanted to love it, I give it a C+. Phillip Seymour Hoffman is astonishingly dead-on, but the whole story was too insular, too damn dank and dreary, and about as much fun as waiting for the microwave to ding. Rent it. Maybe. Better yet, read "In Cold Blood" - I did so in college and can still remember feeling that Capote's legend was entirely well deserved, even if the only thing he finished thereafter was a few hearty snifters before breakfast.

Maya's vocal dexterity is growing with hilarious leaps, although there's still no formally recognized words to speak of. She has also developed one quirk that really makes me uncomfortable - she scrapes her top and bottom teeth together, emitting a sound that's probably being used at the CIA "black sites" in Poland and Romania. More teeth on the way. She's still crawling backwards besides doing this funky crab walk squat. We're letting her watch "Sesame Street" which I'm happy to report is still as clever as it ever was. Haven't yet seen the absurd new Cookie Monster bit about how "Cookies Are a Sometimes Food". When I do, I'll give you a full review. Rock on.

Friday, November 18, 2005

The poop gets flung in new directions

Almost every newsie outlet gives extended play to yesterday's call by Rep. John Murtha to move our troops from Iraq to bases in either Kuwait or elsewhere in the hemisphere. And almost before Murtha's press conference was over, the Bushies and their attack monkeys went right into crap flinging mode. Scott "Helen, you hate America" McClellan went so far as to say that Murtha is now running with "Michael Moore and the extreme liberal wing of the Democratic Party." Republicans all over the Capitol equated Murtha's call to re-deploy somewhere "on the horizon" with blowing kisses to the terrorists. So there you have it according to the Bushies. A proven warrior (ex-Marine, Bronze Star, two Purple Hearts, retired as a Colonel, previously respected hawk on Defense issues). Now an unpatriotic bleeding heart after criticising an aimless war. Amazing.

Arianna Huffington's doing what she can to continue antagonizing Bill O'Reilly for his continuing comments against San Francisco. Mr. Falafel has claimed that he's going to put together his very own "enemies list". Arianna's offered to gather names and deliver them the next time she's on "The Factor". You can add yours to the list, if you're inclined to bear the brunt of being "not spun" or whatever that douchebag calls his brand of attacks. I'm SOOO looking forward to seeing what he flings my way.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Ashcroft's legacy lives on

All you Patriot Act fans out there must be beaming with vigilante smugness this morning. Looks like the Congress capitulated almost fully to the Bushies' request to extend that raw chafing of our civil liberties. The 7-year sunsetting provisions were dropped. Permanence, baby! So if you want to check out any foreign language books from the library or troll the web looking for al Queda websites or buy some overseas goods with a credit card...well, don't. In each of those cases, you can be monitored without your knowledge and there ain't shit you can do about it. Nice world we made for ourselves after 9/11, ain't it?

I continue to be a big fan of Kinky Friedman's run for Governor in Texas. He's an independent so he needs to gather 46K signatures to get on the ballot. But his slogans are the best, I swear, that I've ever heard in a political campaign. When I saw a blurb on his new campaign manager
(Wellstone's replacement in the Senate for a few months, Dean Barkley), I checked in on Kinky's campaign website. He's raised $60K and continues to impress. Zogby recently had his support at 21%. If we still lived in Big D, I'd definitely be in the Kinkster's camp. Just remember, "how hard can it be?"

Maya's calling for a more substantial breakfast. After a killer nap yesterday and an equally impressive night's sleep, she appears to have put our travels behind her. The Bay Area's currently steeped in gorgeously unseasonable warmth and Maya's due for her morning jog after her tasty gruel. Hope your own diet is well constituted. Rock on.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Looking for the new Deep Throat brings an old Insider forward

In a crazy, irony-laden throwback to the Watergate era, Bob Woodward testified Monday about his involvement in the Plamegate investigation. The WashingtonPost published a piece today from Woodward on his role, as well as a broader look into what he said he knew and did with that information. Included is a dispute over whether he passed it along to Walter Pincus (who denies hearing of Plame's identity from Woodward). Woodward supposedly received Plame's name from someone in the White House in mid-June - weeks before any of the other journalists involved have said they were sneakily leaked to. There's a fair amount of "he said, she said" in this. But the first thing that comes to mind for me is the insider status Woodward has enjoyed with this White House (look no farther than his book "Plan of Attack" for extensive evidence). Was he viewed as a "friendly" avenue to publication of what the Bushies wanted to get out there? Regardless, it appears that Fightin' Fitzy ain't cooling his jets just yet.

Loads of other ugly stories this morning circulating in the ether. Such as the facility in Iraq discovered to contain 173 severely tortured Sunnis that was being run by Shiite militia forces working under the auspices of the Interior Ministry. Reports of flesh torn from bodies and detainees in comas, presumably from their treatment therein. Sadly, the U.S. Military's boilerplate condemnation sounds so laughably hollow given the current attempts by the Bushies to fight McCain's anti-torture provision in the new Defense appropriations bill. We've so completely lost the high ground in such matters. Also, as American forces are continuing yet another offensive against insurgents in Western Iraq, 5 more Marines were reported killed and 11 wounded when a booby-trapped house led to an ambush. Whether or not you care to look to the horrible truth in the numbers, we're losing soldiers at a furious pace this month. This will only give more rhetorical protection to those in Congress pushing the Bushies for a better plan and more handoff to the Iraqis. Hopefully.

In my favorite absurd defense of the morning that's not somehow tied to the Bushies, Philadelphia Eagles ManChild Terrell Owens is being defended by none other than Ralph Nader. So now T.O. is REALLY screwed. But if this keeps up, T.O. might get on the ballot in New Mexico and Oregon. Stay tuned for updates.

We're back in SF after a handful of days of travel both near and far. Over the weekend we went to a friend's wedding in Carmel-by-the-Sea - a verdant, surfy, well-heeled wonder south of Santa Cruz. Too many golfers in that part of the world for my taste (the wedding itself was actually at a course in Pebble Beach). And trying to find a decent, un-froof-ified cafe to do some writing in Carmel is like searching for a kosher meal in the Salt Lake City airport. Damnably fun times were had, nonetheless. Thereafter we packed Maya into her shipping kennel and headed to DC. I didn't get to meet with Ahmed Chalabi or testify before the Grand Jury, but I did cruise extensively with Maya in tow. The Smithsonian's new Museum of the American Indian was one of our stops (great atrium, less-than-fully-realized exhibits in place thus far), along with the Air and Space Museum (fabulous for a Moon child like me and curious nerds of all ages), the Arts, Culture and Technology Museum (did you know that the pirate shirt from "Seinfeld" is now part of the collection there?), and all the along the Mall since we stayed in a hotel very much nearby. The news of the age seems much more obviously integral there and the plethora of sources at the ready are amazing. Case in point - our hotel had al Jazeera in its cable TV spectrum. But for Maya's sake, it's good to be back on the Left Coast. Hope your own daily search for good news bears fruit. Rock on.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Full affrontal Dubya

Dubya just popped a boner on TV. Seriously. Either that or he got a new speech from the hawkiest of the hawks in his inner circle of Roves. Many douchebags for Liberty will surely call using Veteran's Day to attack opponents of his conjured up War in Iraq a bold, freeballin' way of shifting the debate. This will fail, I predict. And the attempt to pin the anti-war folks down with a faded Kerry/Edwards bumpersticker has about as much chance of succeeding as a "Bring Back the Draft" petition campaign in Detroit. Regardless, I thank the Bushies for giving me ample silliness for shtick at the wedding we're going to this weekend. There will undoubtably be plenty of Hollywood liberals underfoot. In California, there always are. Rock on.

San Francisco gets its marching orders

Bill "Showers with a falafel" O'Reilly baked his noodle but good many years ago. But when you read through the extent of his comments about San Francisco after the ludicrous Special Election you must admit that he's gotten to a whole different party of CrazyTown. Apparently he was put over the top by the passage of measures to ban the sale of handguns in the City (like Chicago passed in '82) and a denial of access for military recruiters to student information (as clandestinely mandated by obscure language hidden in the No Child Left Behind education bill). San Francisco should leave the country. Get attacked by al Queda. Be ignored by the O'Reilly version of America. Aside from the insightfully snarky points made by the SF Comical (including that only tourists go to Coit Tower, which O'Reilly said should be blown up), I think we might be missing a decent opportunity to cut and run on America. Get out while the getting's good, I say. We could start by running the vastly outnumbered Republicans out of town on a rail. And then build a huge tie-dye-technicolor wall around our precious bastion. Or maybe we should all just make O'Reilly even more of a target for ridicule. "The Colbert Report`" is a good start, but there's much farther that we can go.

We're heading out of town today for a wedding in Carmel-by-the-Sea - easily the silliest town name not paid for by a silly TV show. Sounds like a lovely place and we can't wait to get Maya to the beach and such. Then to directly contrast the natural beauty, we head to DC for a few days immediately after. Another silly name for an even sillier place. Hopefully Maya and I can hit the Smithsonian on Monday. Expect more updates and fresh pics than this past week. Hope all's well with your own extensive collections. Rock on.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

"OK, everyone in the Conference Room for the next 20 minutes - there's bagels and cream cheese!"

The story surrounding "What's the Frequency?" Kenneth Tomlinson's ouster from the Corporation for Public Broadcasting (CPB) has some layers of ooze waiting to seep out. It sounds like results of a government audit of his handling of CPB was about to be released. Any day now. And he quit on Thursday. Something smelly this way blows.

George "Not so Fred Friendly" Clooney got a bit frisky after his London premiere. As did his saucy girlfriend, as witnessed by the always tasteless paparazzi for Murdoch's "Sun". Apparently he got in a fight with a producer who insulted his work. Or he defended a woman's honor by getting into a fight with a producer. Either way, he grappled then fled the country. Tell me that guy isn't the reincarnated soul of Sinatra.

Dubya's really showing his MBA training for once. The White House Staff is being required to attend ethics training next week. A full year into his second term. How's the old saying go - better late and insultingly stage-managed to deflect the obvious need for real change than never? I imagine James Dobson giving the PowerPoint presentation while Dr. Phil handles the short Q&A. Badda bing - problem solved. And next on the agenda...

Maya's developed the dexterity in her new pimped out crib to sit up, flippity flop into the corners, and generally set a whole new approach to our mornings. So after getting up at 5:30 this morning, she's back in bed now. Swim lesson today and a gorgeous morning meant for walking in the Park - hopefully we'll tire her out and essentially hit the reset button. Hope your own endeavors are at least as purposeful. Rock on.

Friday, November 04, 2005

The Usual Targets take more fire

Yesterday's blast from the totally uncool past was the story of Congressional Conservatives like Rep. Tom Delay voting to offset the deficit spending they've authorized by cutting programs they disagree with philosophically. The list of programs they've targeted for a piddly $35B over the next 5 years should raise some complaints. Included are Medicaid, food stamps, student loans, agriculture subsidies and child support enforcement. After all, Trent Lott's new porch is worth a little shared sacrifice, doncha think?

Arianna Huffington continues to impress me even when she's completely off in left field. Such is the case in her post today about how James Carville shouldn't be looked to for the "opinion from the Left" because his marriage to Mary Matalin contorts his objectivity. Even though I still appreciate the Ragin' Cajun, this observation is about 13 years overdue. And astonishingly irrelevant. But Arianna writes about it so well that most readers could be swayed. She really has made some tasty lemonade from the long harvest of lemons for the Left.

Maya's letting me know rather loudly that our morning walk is well overdue. Hope your own trails are sunny. Rock on.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

"Thumbs up on the bitchin' crib!"


"Thumbs up on the bitchin' crib!"
Originally uploaded by emaggie.
Maya seems satisfied by the structural integrity of her new digs, which makes us all very happy.

Mojitos with Hugo

This morning's must read itemizes Brownie's emails from the days leading up to and thereafter encompassing the Katrina disaster. Michael "Fashion God" Brown has now become the worst political appointee. Ever. Aside from spending WAY too much time joking about avoiding work and his off-the-rack fashion taste, there's one email that's positively astonishing. It came from the FEMA regional director, Marty Bahamonde (the one who crapped in the hall of the Superdome while Brownie was waiting for a table at the Ruth's Chris Steakhouse in Baton Rouge). After Bahamonde gave his "condition beyond critical" warnings, Brownie responded stupidly to his underling asking him what to do. Remember people - we're still paying Brownie's $148K salary as a "contractor" with FEMA. Hopefully there's more of this junk to be had - this is the most entertaining bunk from a Bushie since "Plenty Bright!" Harriet's gushy notes to Dubya.

Speaking of Dubya, he probably thought he had a cool 4-day getaway lined up for Brazil and Argentina. But it's not looking like it will be one of his beloved "working vacations" given our historic low-regard throughout the hemisphere. If I were running the seating arrangements for the Summit, I'd put Hugo Chavez at Dubya's table. Get a few drinks in Hugo and I bet he's pretty hard to ignore. Screw diplomacy - I want some geopolitical red meat to munch on through the weekend.

Big day for Maya yesterday - we finally got a big girl crib for Maya and retired the shoebox we were cramming her into nightly. The first time I laid her down in it yesterday, she crashed hard for a two-hour nap. Ringing endorsement from her majesty, in other words. We got it from BabyCenter.com and the delivery couldn't have been faster or better (ordered last Thursday, arrived Tuesday afternoon). Our borrowed crib was a recall target, so we searched for both quality and safety. This one rocks. A full recommendation. Hope your own cribs are comfy today. Rock on.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

"Over There" ends, the War Continues Indefinitely

When "Big Time!" Dick Cheney appointed David Addington to replace Scooter Libby, no one should have expected a change of philosophy in the Veep's office. Well, that instinct seems correct if you read Addington's description in a fascinating piece in today's NYTimes dealing with (gasp!) the Bushies disdain for detainee rights. Addington's a major prick. And a true believer in the mold of the NeoCon. I'm sure he's already fitting in well in his expanded role.

In a related item (since it's all part of the overall mess created by the Bushies), the WashingtonPost leads with a big piece about the "black sites" the CIA is using in scary nations across the globe to interrogate in monstrous violations of the Geneva Conventions. And the shame of these practices continue to expand like ripples in a no-longer-calm pond. Drag.

In a related unintended irony, FX has decided to cancel the series "Over There" after one 13-episode season due to lackluster ratings. Apparently America ain't that interested in watching a series about war, death, separation and the culture of hate in Iraq. It was compelling TV - the squad of actors was fabulous throughout and deserve to find tons more work. The concept of a real-time war drama is startlingly powerful. Too heavy for most people, though. Hence the ratings in the crapper. Nonetheless, a good example of art being used to explain a complicated, massive conflict. Look for it on DVD soon.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Maya preps for Trick or Treaters


Prepping for Trick or Treaters
Originally uploaded by emaggie.
Didn't take long for Maya's tolerance of strange people in crazy costumes to wear out. But no outright scares on a busy first Halloween made it easy for her to get to bed early and sleep soundly 'til November.

Maya acting like a big skunk at the supermarket.

A few stops tired Maya out like an opening night diva. So we grabbed a few groceries and settled in for Trick or Treaters.