Friday, October 31, 2008

Maya gets her "Roar!" on.


Maya gets her "Roar!" on.
Originally uploaded by emaggie
Halloween started early for Maya as she wore her costume to daycare this morning. She responded to another Dad who asked what she was by saying "I'm a nice dinosaur." Then she roared at him. Gawd, I love that kid.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

This Halloween Eve, McCain's got news for you - "you're all Joe the Plumber." Dang - I wanted to be Heatmiser again this year.

I'll not be the first to say so - Obama's infomercial last night was a bit puffy. Yet flat. Still, it works exactly as I expect was planned in this crazy final week. Each campaign is spending daily well over the $4M it cost for that half-hour in primetime. The replay effect is a well-worn consideration in the gaming of political advertising. I think Obama's big buy will get little full replay. But it surely realized the aim of dominating the discussion for at least a day's worth of blathering nonsense in these final daze. Once again, Obama has the best run operation I've ever seen in the history of post-modern campaigning. What do we get from McCain today to counter? An empty shout out to Joe the Plumber who wasn't even at the rally that McCain had to shlep 4000 schoolkids to in order to bump the numbers up to 6000. Watch for yourself.



Hope your own Barack O'Lantern are admired by all the neighbors today. Rock on.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Our Barack O'Lantern


Our Barack O'Lantern
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Maya shows off her handiwork.

A family self-portrait.


A family self-portrait.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Targeting '08 - "Shameless"

With just over one week to go before the Election, I can't hold back on a few predictions that may quite simply jinx the future of humankind. Call me impetuous. Or Satan. I answer to both.

Sarah Palin didn't lose the Election for John McCain. But she cut his percentage of the vote by at least 5%.

John McCain appeared on "Meet the Press" where he referred to Joe Biden as "Joe the Biden" and where he "fool me once, shame on you...fool me twice, um..." struggled to remember the 5 Secretaries of State that had endorsed him. Eventually a frantic staffer off camera advised him that he'd forgotten George Shultz. Who McCain quickly called one of our greatest Secretaries of State EVER. If Bob Dole had looked this old and tired back in '96, someone would have institutionalized him.

Early voting patterns in such states as Georgia and Florida suggest that precincts with heavy African-American populations will shatter turnout records. Aside from the astonishing translation that other states like Mississippi and South Carolina are being reassessed for their competitiveness, one astonishing tertiary effect billows up. In short, incumbent Senator Saxby "Shameless" Chambliss may face a rare runoff election against his Dem opponent (Jim Martin) if neither crosses the 50% threshold on Election Day. Why should we care? Because we may be then facing a filibuster-proof majority election for the Dems a month after Election Day in an unprecedented showdown. And, not that any of us need to relive this indignity, the Bushies got Shameless elected to his only term thus far by tagging Max Cleland with an entirely baseless association with Osama Bin Laden back in '02. Confused? Trust me - if it goes down as I predict, we'll all know WAY too much about this race to discuss at length over our respective TurkeyDay gatherings.

Hope your own NFL teams are enjoying their bye week. Rock on.

Friday, October 17, 2008

If Ronald Reagan ever said "I screwed up" to Johnny Carson, do you really think he'd have had a career thereafter...

Two quickies.

John McCain on Letterman last night was an absolute clinic in how a glib politician trying to redirect his public persona can be made to look like an absolute boob. Dave earned even more respect from me than ever before by not allowing his questions to be steam-rolled by crappy talking points.

Maya has a new favorite video. If you missed the "Mark Wahlberg Talks to Animals" skit from "Saturday Night Live" you missed a moment of hilarity that speaks for itself. Spot on impression, utter inanity, and cute animals - what's not to love? But even as this stupid clip gets more and more play, Maya cannot get enough. Every day - "can we watch that guy talk to the animals?" Every day - "yes, sweetie." Yet with all the repeated viewings...it's still funny.

Hope your own comedy routine before a white-tie crowd allows you to make a Superman joke today. Rock on.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Home Plumbing Tip #47 - Never trust a free estimate from a guy named Joe, political or otherwise.

OK - let's skin this lipsticked pig. Last night's debate was the first time - I really believe this - the FIRST TIME that we had a moment of clarity in the general election battle between Barack Obama and John McCain. Obama, as is his singular talent, kept his cool amidst plenty of flak thrown up at him. McCain blinked and blinked and blinked and grimaced and gave everyone the impression that he couldn't believe what he was hearing from his opponent. It was the race in a nutshell - both sides have issues, both sides have tactics. But there are two people herein trying to win your vote. If McCain won over anyone with his "Joe the Plumber" routine, they were onboard to begin with and only wanting to court extra attention. What about the "Joe the Software Designer" or "Joe the Janitor" or "Joe the Sex Worker" voters not being mentioned in this tiresome back and forth. Unfortunately, I still fear the systems that both run and analyze our elections. Yet I embrace said systems, with a truly unbridled heart. Obama is the most talented politician I've seen in my lifetime. If he loses to McCain after this exposure to their comparative shortcomings, I firmly believe that I will not believe in our Nation any longer. Maybe because I'll then begin to truly question what it is that I think as it relates to what my fellow citizens think. Everyone's got a vote. And everyone's gotta vote. Period. Thereafter, let the chips fall...

Hope your own plumber doesn't charge you today to talk smack about how he's such a straight-talker unlike you, Mr./Ms. Paying-the-Bill-Guy/Gal. Rock on.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Mush!

Crater? To quote Paul on Letterman - "I didn't even know her." If you've got money in anything other than your mattress, the news of market collapses worldwide is pretty frickin' scary. I've got my own spin. But I think we all need something else right now. Aside from a hug. So here's a few suggestions.

Oliver Stone appeared on "The Colbert Report" last night. I was stunned by "Platoon" and "Salvador" didn't suck. Still, he's been an incoherent boob for years. Almost everyone wants his new movie "W." to be interesting. Or terrible. Like everyone aside from your third cousin Morrie who works in LA, I haven't seen it yet. But his interview was hilarious.

Lance Mackey is the two-time defending Champ of the Iditarod sled dog marathon. He went to high school with Sarah Palin. Seriously. And he has a new reality show on the Discovery Channel that premieres next week. Who cares. Who cares? Ironically, me. He was on Conan O'Brien last night and his honest sweetness and dorky forthrightness utterly slayed me. That dog can do more than hunt.

Hope your own atonement was enough to make you realize that Gordon Gecko was so, so obscenely ahead of his time that someone should send Michael Douglas a CookieGram made out of dog poo today. Rock on.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

My Yom Kippur message

Get there.


The Great Schlep from The Great Schlep on Vimeo.

"ThatOne '08" steps up to the plate

Everyone sees what they want from a debate, no matter what it actually looked like. So what I took from last night's debate is as firm as Madonna's ass. Obama was cool and collected. McCain will have his dickish "that one" comment hung on his image for the rest of his televised life. That's how these things work, people. Make a condescending remark and get stuck with it like a bug in your own personal amber 'til the end of days (shout out to Sarah Palin on that one). I've been wrong before. I believed that Obama's comment about Hillary that she was "likable enough" would haunt his efforts. As if it didn't. So maybe not so much wrong as vaguely off the mark. But McCain last night looked like the angry old man (that he is), scooting off the stage after not shaking his opponent's hand (debatable), and just plain looking pissed that he had to deal with the utterly stupid "Town Hall" format that his campaign tried to unilaterally demand be honored. I offer one chestnut that is too often forgotten about McCain - he reportedly drinks a dozen or so cups of coffee a day. How would that serve you in situations where you needed to be even keel in the late evening? I tossed and turned until the wee hours because of a single hot chocolate after Maya went to bed. I'm just sayin'...

Hope your own condescending remarks aren't watched by approximately 42% of the Nation today. Rock on.

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Sarah Palin pals around with slednecks that couldn't even name one of the Weathermen besides Al Roker - which is worse?

The Brew Crew are done for the year. Philly looks pretty darn good and we just never got anywhere near hot. So it goes.

Of all the political ads that hit the wall like such a pile of mud, the latest Obama offering for whatever reason struck me as dead-on.


Maybe it's because, um, I'm totally in the tank for Barack. Or maybe because there's literally nothing to fact-check herein. For those that were hoping for a second Palin bump - hardy frickin' har. That moose has officially been hung and smoked.

One Maya nugget for those that read through all else for such details - she's got a new tagline that she using on both Sarah and me with regularity. "Let's talk about politics!" Seriously. It's not as scripted as our recent faux Marx Brothers routine (me/straightman: "What are you a Communist?", Maya: "No, I'm a Socialist."). But it absolutely kills. I think we'll take this one on the road. Keith Olbermann look out - you've got competition.

Hope your own Crew raises a Brew in tribute to me and you today. Rock on.

Friday, October 03, 2008

"But, doggone it, I still think your surrender flags are made in San Francisco by illegal immigrants that want to unionize, I'm tellin' ya."

Let's debate the Debate. Sarah Palin didn't fall on her face or have an unscripted nip slip. So everyone's disappointed, in some way. She was all style, zero substance, no true gaffes. Biden was flat early, but eventually gathered steam. In short - a total draw. Gwen Ifill, I'm sorry to say, was the true loser by offering nothing near the realm of compelling questions. Some might argue that was her purpose. But I'm convinced that she was stymied by the lame criticism of her upcoming book by Republicans who were fully aware that it was in the pipe months ago. Regardless, I hate Palin's tendency to offer up the cutesy wink and folksy colloquialism after essentially delivering a bald, false, dickish rip on more than half of the Nation's voters. Doncha know.

Brew Crew lost another yesterday, 5-2. It heads back to Milwaukee for Game 3 on Saturday. It's not over. But unless we find some bats back in 'Sconi, it's pretty much over. Same goes for the Cubbies who head to LA after getting spanking at Wrigley. My only question - who will track down Steve Bartman before this year's team is done for the Season. Poor, unfairly doomed bastard. If anyone ever deserved to be in the witness protection program, it's that Cubs fan.

Hope your own debate coaches have enough Advil to make it through the morning flight back to DC today. Rock on.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Oh, and Sarah Palin will struggle to name a single TV show that her TiVo recommends aside from "all of them".

Big debate tonight, no matter how you spin it. Aside from being offended by the childish effort to tarnish Gwen Ifill's credentials, I'm going to hold back on the counterspin for the time being. Except for saying that I bet Sarah wears blue in a cynical attempt to court Hillary Dems. Biden will wear a dark suit and puke-colored tie with a few swizzlesticks sticking out of his breast pocket.

The Brewers lost Game One in Philly yesterday, 3-1. They took forever to get going, but their bullpen looked strong and they were surging in the 9th before Corey "No, not THAT Corey Hart" Hart struck out with two runners in scoring position. CC Sabathia pitches on short rest again today. Take one there and guarantee two games back in Milwaukee. It would have been nice to take that one. But I'm not exactly taking off my jersey with where we stand right now.

Hope your own debate watching parties serve moose burgers and Rocky Mountain oysters tonight. Rock on.