Mush!

Crater? To quote Paul on Letterman - "I didn't even know her." If you've got money in anything other than your mattress, the news of market collapses worldwide is pretty frickin' scary. I've got my own spin. But I think we all need something else right now. Aside from a hug. So here's a few suggestions.

Oliver Stone appeared on "The Colbert Report" last night. I was stunned by "Platoon" and "Salvador" didn't suck. Still, he's been an incoherent boob for years. Almost everyone wants his new movie "W." to be interesting. Or terrible. Like everyone aside from your third cousin Morrie who works in LA, I haven't seen it yet. But his interview was hilarious.

Lance Mackey is the two-time defending Champ of the Iditarod sled dog marathon. He went to high school with Sarah Palin. Seriously. And he has a new reality show on the Discovery Channel that premieres next week. Who cares. Who cares? Ironically, me. He was on Conan O'Brien last night and his honest sweetness and dorky forthrightness utterly slayed me. That dog can do more than hunt.

Hope your own atonement was enough to make you realize that Gordon Gecko was so, so obscenely ahead of his time that someone should send Michael Douglas a CookieGram made out of dog poo today. Rock on.