Orange you glad this came to light?

So after all that sturm and drang, Obama gets a health care reform bill.  Sure, the Senate still can throw some blood from the grandstands in hopes of undermining the hoopla.  But this really is a big deal.  Not even Biden can fully toss this moment under the bus with the overstatements to ill effect (even though he tried).  I'm convinced that McCain and all the haters that are throwing "repeal" around haven't really tested what they're talking.  This will hurt the Dems in the Fall, although they were bound to get spanked for looking so completely rudderless regardless of what they did on health care.  What will happen to the GOP is the big open question.  Actually, I expect them to soon begin gushing a reversal of accusations.  They'll pivot 180-degrees to say that the delay required to test many of the provisions of this legislation is too long and that they should all be rushed to market so as to shock the system.  Still, the upcoming period of debate will see many new surprises.  Anyone that claims they can predict those upcoming surprises, however, is totally full of snot.

One surprising bit of hilarity that I didn't see in all the reporting beforehand was that indoor tanning studios will see a 10% increase in taxes as early as this summer as a minor part of the bill.  How have this Nation's comedians not used that to further color John Boehner's clownish appearance?  Granted, I'd read long ago that he actually uses one of the those vanity tanning lights in his office that went out of style in 1963 - not some new-fangled tanning salon.  It matches his chosen brand of cigarettes (Boehner smokes Barclay's).  He really is the joke-writer's gift that keeps on giving.

Hope your own pursuit of the glow keeps you on the golf course rather than in a tanning bed today.  Rock on.

A day for all of us to celebrate

Everyone's doing their best today to make sense of the superlatives. Historic. Inspiring. Global. Humbling. Today Barack Obama takes over from the worst Prezidunt in the history of our Nation. As the festivities were unfolding live, I was enjoying my favorite part of the day - getting Maya ready for "school" @ the JCC. We walked this morning through an uncharacteristic Seattle fog bank (our car's in the shop, so to speak). Well, I walked. Maya skipped. I coached her on why this was a big day. She thereafter perfectly pronounced "Barack Obama's Inauguaration". Call me what you will, but if you're a committed liberal that hears that from your child...well, a few loving tears are required. After I got it together as we entered the JCC, we found all of Maya's classmates and many parents gathered in a darkened room watching the festivities in DC that at that moment was the swearing in of Joe Biden. I didn't want to watch just part so I told Maya I was going home to watch there. After we hugged she told me "have fun at the Inauguration". Once again perfectly pronounced. You can imagine that I booked out of there before any of the other parents saw what a soft-shell crab I actually am.

Anyhoo, I'll do a bit of "not-quite-live" blogging now that I'm nestled in front of the TiVo. I'm using MSNBC for my network of record. Seriously.

MSNBC just commentated that former President George H.W. Bush is "walking old". Lay off the dood - he looks great. And, yes, he's at least 100 years young.

They have "The Speech" in the hands of the networks. But it is "embargoed". How many people in "Real America" do you think know what that means?

Hillary and Bill look like they each just swallowed half of a bug.

Chris Matthews just opined that Bill Clinton has such obvious affection for George the Elder because Bubba never had a father. Really? Wow, would I love to be in the room when a therapist floats that theory to the former President.

Cut to the moving vans outside the White House. There's the "change we can believe in".

Back to the Obama girls. They are simply the cutest kids on the planet.

Lynne Cheney appears to be wearing a fur collar. Laura Bush appears to be wearing a smile that would frighten the dead.

Michelle Obama and Jill Biden are the sort of women that everyone can admire.

People are booing Dubya as his image came up on the screens. Not surprising. But sad on some level. Especially because it stepped on Michelle's arrival on the platform.

CHENEY IN A WHEELCHAIR! The official story is that he hurt his back "moving boxes" for their departure. You heard it here first - he shot himself in the foot. Which, oddly enough, is an improvement.

Joe Biden is having more fun than anyone on the planet today. With nearly the least responsibility of anyone on the planet, as well. For the moment.

Barack Obama descending to the Inaugural Platform was the coolest crowd pass I've ever seen. But that guy's nervous.

Rick Warren. Um, this is awkward to criticize. He did an awesome job with limited weirdness. But he's still too evangelical for my taste.

Aretha Franklin showed off one of the greatest hats in the history of hats. But I expect that Re-Re had a bit too much emotion flowing to make this one of her greatest performances. Incredibly good, nonetheless.

John Paul Stevens is the cutest old guy on the planet. Joe Biden I think even called him "Mr. President" at the end of the oath of office. Biden - I'm tellin' ya, that guy's having fun today.

Birds are circling over the classical quartet interlude. Why is Robert Gibbs (Obama's Press Secretary) sitting behind them?

Chief Justice John Roberts I believe purposely messed up the wording of the oath. Maybe he was nervous. But I can't wait to see what the wall-to-wall dooshy-class makes of a few humble stumbles on President Obama's part. After all, Obama voted against Roberts' confirmation.

And now...the speech.

Once he gets speaking, there ain't nothing that can hold this man back.

I'll just enjoy and comment later. I hope y'all also soak up this larger than life day the way it was intended - as a celebration.

Targeting '08 - "Shameless"

With just over one week to go before the Election, I can't hold back on a few predictions that may quite simply jinx the future of humankind. Call me impetuous. Or Satan. I answer to both.

Sarah Palin didn't lose the Election for John McCain. But she cut his percentage of the vote by at least 5%.

John McCain appeared on "Meet the Press" where he referred to Joe Biden as "Joe the Biden" and where he "fool me once, shame on you...fool me twice, um..." struggled to remember the 5 Secretaries of State that had endorsed him. Eventually a frantic staffer off camera advised him that he'd forgotten George Shultz. Who McCain quickly called one of our greatest Secretaries of State EVER. If Bob Dole had looked this old and tired back in '96, someone would have institutionalized him.

Early voting patterns in such states as Georgia and Florida suggest that precincts with heavy African-American populations will shatter turnout records. Aside from the astonishing translation that other states like Mississippi and South Carolina are being reassessed for their competitiveness, one astonishing tertiary effect billows up. In short, incumbent Senator Saxby "Shameless" Chambliss may face a rare runoff election against his Dem opponent (Jim Martin) if neither crosses the 50% threshold on Election Day. Why should we care? Because we may be then facing a filibuster-proof majority election for the Dems a month after Election Day in an unprecedented showdown. And, not that any of us need to relive this indignity, the Bushies got Shameless elected to his only term thus far by tagging Max Cleland with an entirely baseless association with Osama Bin Laden back in '02. Confused? Trust me - if it goes down as I predict, we'll all know WAY too much about this race to discuss at length over our respective TurkeyDay gatherings.

Hope your own NFL teams are enjoying their bye week. Rock on.

"But, doggone it, I still think your surrender flags are made in San Francisco by illegal immigrants that want to unionize, I'm tellin' ya."

Let's debate the Debate. Sarah Palin didn't fall on her face or have an unscripted nip slip. So everyone's disappointed, in some way. She was all style, zero substance, no true gaffes. Biden was flat early, but eventually gathered steam. In short - a total draw. Gwen Ifill, I'm sorry to say, was the true loser by offering nothing near the realm of compelling questions. Some might argue that was her purpose. But I'm convinced that she was stymied by the lame criticism of her upcoming book by Republicans who were fully aware that it was in the pipe months ago. Regardless, I hate Palin's tendency to offer up the cutesy wink and folksy colloquialism after essentially delivering a bald, false, dickish rip on more than half of the Nation's voters. Doncha know.

Brew Crew lost another yesterday, 5-2. It heads back to Milwaukee for Game 3 on Saturday. It's not over. But unless we find some bats back in 'Sconi, it's pretty much over. Same goes for the Cubbies who head to LA after getting spanking at Wrigley. My only question - who will track down Steve Bartman before this year's team is done for the Season. Poor, unfairly doomed bastard. If anyone ever deserved to be in the witness protection program, it's that Cubs fan.

Hope your own debate coaches have enough Advil to make it through the morning flight back to DC today. Rock on.

Oh, and Sarah Palin will struggle to name a single TV show that her TiVo recommends aside from "all of them".

Big debate tonight, no matter how you spin it. Aside from being offended by the childish effort to tarnish Gwen Ifill's credentials, I'm going to hold back on the counterspin for the time being. Except for saying that I bet Sarah wears blue in a cynical attempt to court Hillary Dems. Biden will wear a dark suit and puke-colored tie with a few swizzlesticks sticking out of his breast pocket.

The Brewers lost Game One in Philly yesterday, 3-1. They took forever to get going, but their bullpen looked strong and they were surging in the 9th before Corey "No, not THAT Corey Hart" Hart struck out with two runners in scoring position. CC Sabathia pitches on short rest again today. Take one there and guarantee two games back in Milwaukee. It would have been nice to take that one. But I'm not exactly taking off my jersey with where we stand right now.

Hope your own debate watching parties serve moose burgers and Rocky Mountain oysters tonight. Rock on.

Contrary to earlier reports, this blog is not officially suspended.

I know, I know - I surely picked a loaded week of newsiness to not add anything to the mix. Sometimes even the most self-convinced among us take a few days off to thoughtfully consider just what's hit the country in the face like a flock of junebugs while hurtling along at 100 miles an hour on a motorcycle. I'll make it quick on a variety of points.

Last night's debate was a draw. Obama was calm and measured, to a possible fault. But McCain looked like the grumpy ol' cuss that we all know he truly is not so far beneath the surface. I take that back - McCain lost. Expect him to get all touchy-feelie next time out. Which will creep people out even more.

Sarah Palin's star has fallen. Incredibly so. Her interview this week with Katie Couric was the turning point, although I expect the zeitgeist had seen her as a mistake much earlier. The best evidence that she's no longer trusted by the McCain camp to open her mouth on camera? She didn't do a single interview after the debate last night. I think Biden was everywhere but on the Home Shopping Network. I imagine her in a missile silo in North Dakota right about now.

The Wall Street bailout is a turd wrapped in another far more expensive turd. Since I know as much as any other moron, I expect a complex mess to be passed in the middle of the week after World markets flop like a 40-pound catfish after a few days of doomsaying.

I also predict that McCain's next Hail Mary will be to vote against whatever form the bailout takes for final passage. That and getting Sarah Palin to appear in a "Maxim"-quality photoshoot sitting on his lap in the Oval Office. Oh wait, is that sexist. Sure. But she is truly only cosmetic and I couldn't care less about that charge anymore.

The Milwaukee Brewers now control their own destiny with two games remaining for both them and the Mets in the regular season. The Brew Crew's won 5 in a row. Ben Sheets is pitching hurt today. CC Sabathia is prepped to pitch on short rest tomorrow if need be. I'm cautiously optimistic.

Maya's been teaching us what's she's learned about the upcoming Rosh Hashanah holiday on Monday ("it's the New Year, Daddy"). Auntie Becca's in town for a weekender visit to also benefit from the education. Can't really say that I've got a shofar to blow. Whatever that means. But we're learning.

Hope your own teams don't inappropiately "blow the shofar" early this weekend. Go Brewers. Rock on.

Palin pales as the banks fail?

As the markets burn and the Bushies throw bailouts hither and yon, I'm certainly not alone in thinking the real short-term impact is on the race for Prezidunt. McCain's faltering at every opportunity. Palin's nowhere to be seen (I'd check the nearest Valentino store where I expect she'll be looking to return that slightly used $2500 blouse thingie she bought for her Convention speech). Obama's on the attack. Biden, too. And the polls, for what they're worth, are showing the margin shifting away from McCain/Palin. The first debate is next Friday. Six days after that, Palin and Biden go at it. I expect that countless opinionmeisters with a soapbox to use will begin to seriously doubt the wisdom of choosing an untested Governor from Alaska just prior to this upheaval. Nonetheless, I'm waiting for some GOP hacks to start saying that the Dems somehow manufactured this meltdown in our Nation's financial sector. Because if you're going to throw every imaginable mudpie at the wall to see what sticks, you might as well mix in a few more up-to-the-moment conspiracy theories.

All of this focus on losing a few trillion dollars has certainly taken the Nation's eye off another big story - the shocking demise of the Milwaukee Brewers. They fired their manager, Ned Yost, in the most uncivil fashion with just 12 games left in the regular season. They are no longer in the lead for the Wild Card slot in the playoffs. They may have lost pitcher Ben Sheets for the remainder of the season last night. Sure, they've got Robin Yount back in the dugout as the replacement Bench Coach. But at this point I think he's only good for mustache grooming tips. I'm not giving up - they did win last night in Chicago after needing to use 7 relief pitchers after Sheets had to leave the game. Interim Manager Dale "Yes, My Name is Spelled Correctly" Sveum got a beer shower after his first victory in that role. But I'm beginning to think about getting that tattoo removed if they miss the post-season again this year...

Hope your own markets are fully stocked with loads of organic veggies today. Rock on.

Up next - Bob Barr picks a bust of Ronald Reagan as his running mate.

As I predicted along with much of the punditocracy, Obama chose Biden as his Veep. So let the bullshite commence. McCain's people are digging holes as fast as they can fling the dirt. Everyone's using a Dems debate clip wherein Biden says that Obama's not yet ready to be the Big Guy. Also, calling this a pick made from a position of weakness on Obama's part figures into every right-leaning assessment. Yawn. Sure, Obama went conventional in this pick. He had to. All the oxygen will now be sucked from the race for the next handful of days as the Dems put on their best face in Denver. Thereafter, the real race begins. The GOP will never admit it, but they face a much more complex calculus with regard to whomever McCain picks as his Veep. I simply cannot believe that it will be Romney. Even though I hope it's him. If it's Tim Pawlenty (R-Gov., Minnysoda) who's so boyish-looking that Neil Patrick Harris could be his twin brother...well, they just won't go there. So here's my pick. It's a stealth longshot, I admit. Charlie Crist (R-Gov., Florida). He'll clinch a big state that the GOP desperately needs for any hope this time out. "Chain Gang Charlie's" tan is impeccable. His recognition outside of the South is currently minimal. Most people will probably think he's that character actor (John Slattery) from "Mad Men" who played the guy that wanted Carrie to pee on him in a classic episode of "Sex and the City". Personally, I think Tom Ridge is the man to pick since he'd bring Pennsylvania home for the GOP - another big pivot state in the electoral map sense of the race. But the crazies won't allow Ridge to complete the ticket because he's the slightest bit pro-choice. As in he believes that rape and/or incest is reason enough to not go through with a pregnancy. If we've learned anything since the Bushies stole the election in 2000, it's that the crazies are the loudest voice in the tent for the GOP. So call it Crusty and Cristy. Remember, you heard it here first.

Maya's first week of swim class went, um, swimmingly. She's timid, but much less afraid to get in the splash and flow of things after just 5 mornings of lessons. One more week to go. Plus next Saturday is her last ballet class. Up next? I'm lobbying for either motorcycle repair or jarts. I'll keep you posted. Hope your own summer calendar isn't winding down quite yet. Rock on.

Next question: "How can we ever respect a President that gets pimped by a 300-pound mega-preacher?"

I'm admittedly not out front on this - Joe Biden will be Obama's Veep Pick. I'll bet you a dollar. I'll get into my rationale more this week. But the way things stacked up over the past handful of days with regard to Russia's assault on Georgia and the various McCain campaign's talking points upticking claims of experience versus judgment...the Obama Veepstakes are over. Especially because Biden's currently in Georgia. The Nation not the State. I still believe that Bill Richardson's a better pick given what he might mean for the Electoral Map (New Mexico, Colorado, Florida, anywhere near a Mexican restaurant or goatee groomer). Regardless, there's no better current way to contrast an old foreign policy self-assured hack than with another old foreign policy pontificating-hack viable and vetted for the Veep slot. Lock it in your Filofax - this week Biden gets the nod. If not...well, what do I know.

Hope your own mega-church conversations today deal entirely with how you want to shut those reprehensible places down. Rock on.

When Ayad Allawi's the funniest man in the conversation, we're so totally screwed...

A quickie reference to the NYTimes Op/Ed page today. Which was a fairly sickening distillation of everything our current political reality represents in a single page. Paul Krugman rightly eviscerated Rudy Guiliani - in this case regarding his fear-mongering on, of all viable possibilities, health care options. David Brooks wrote the least funny piece possible regarding the Dems debate earlier this week. And Ayad Allawi (assuredly ghost-written by shameless shill and former Bushie Deputy National Security Adviser Robert Blackwill) railed against elections. In Iraq. Cough. There are thousands of take-aways from this trifecta. Do yourself a favor and search for your own. You owe it to the cocktail parties you'll hopefully attend this weekend.

Hope your own jokes today are eons better than the umpfrickinteenth reference to John Edwards' hair or Joe Biden's verbosity. Rock on.