Eat your heart out, Casey Kasem

The obvious points of interest (Sarah Palin's ridiculous final weeks on the job, the GOP's floundering assault on wise Latina women, Prince Fielder winning the otherwise unimportant Baseball All-Star Home Run Derby, the upcoming 40th anniversary of Apollo 11) seem a bit underwhelming to me. Today is that ultimate test one's own humility - my birthday. And a big one if the Hallmark corporation and its fellow guilt marketers are to be followed. Today I begin my 5th decade on the planet. The big four-oh. To be honest, it feels pretty good.

I like to think this is my George W. Bush moment. At 40, he quit drinking, found religion, got serious about getting new and exciting jobs he was also totally unqualified for, and eventually did everything in his power to bring down the country. But I'm no Dubya. I like to think big. So I'm going to say bring 'em on, make the pie higher, and don't misunderestimate me all in one tortured sentence. Still, for all those historians looking to analyze just what made me so, um, me...I offer a random list of things I love and thank the gawds for having created. In no particular order.

1. Hats, of all shapes, so long as they have a brim.
2. Sparkling water with juice and a touch of lime.
3. Sunglasses that work even on cloudy days.
4. King-sized beds with fresh sheets.
5. Lawnmowers that start on the first pull.
6. Movies in an air-conditioned theatre.
7. Saying "I love you" without a hint of a Fonzie stutter.
8. Throwing a perfect spiral with a freshly pumped-up football.
9. Writing a line that makes someone laugh out loud.
10. WiFi that doesn't require a password.

I hope y'all have a special day. Rock on.

Ooh that Freddie...

The GOP field for Prez is pretty hard to like. The storylines are all predictably lame. Romney's shown more spit and polish than I expected. Guiliani's playing the bombthrower. The margins (Tancredo, Gilmore, Ron "Actually Two First Names" Paul) are weirder than usual. Yet in summation, dull dull dull. I'm not betting on Fred "Aces: Iron Eagle III" Thompson livening things up. Still, can't hurt. Especially if you check out his latest homestate Sunday newsy profile.

More importantly, the Brewers are so hot it's largely surreal. They are finding all sorts of ways to win games. Hot hitting, great pitching, strong bullpen. Ned "Huge Nicknamer Guy" Yost wanted a hot start and got exactly what had been predicted. Prince Fielder is scary. JJ Hardy is hitting like a 'roidhead. Everybody contributes. I'm telling y'all - this team is the real deal. Me so happy.

Hope your own profiles track down only the kids from high school that thought you were like totally cool. Rock on.