Today's bonus rating - if "Mad Men" ain't on the A-List again this season, I'm totally voting for Goldwater

For a Friday, here's a few glancing blows.

Barack Obama isn't taking public financing. For those that find offense in this, consider the last time you filed your taxes and refused to donate the $3 to said public financing system. This issue is, thereby, less than moot.

Scott McClellan has been testifying this morning before the House Judiciary Committee about the Valerie Plame outing. Can't say I care, mainly because I've seen where this bread gets buttered from way back when. But the fact that he's out there has to piss off those loyal Bushies and that's worth something to the nation. So kudos, Scotty.

On Father's Day I caught a matinee - "The Happening". My rating - a pissy C-minus. Dumb concept, horrible marketing, just dumb dumb dumb crap that no one should feel obligated to see. Spoiler alert! There's no surprise ending. Consider yourself warned.

Hope your own weekend plans get you nowhere near a multiplex showing "The Love Guru" (I haven't seen it, but my rating is a D-minus). Rock on.

Novak once ate a puppy in Reno. With a spoon.

We've all seen the battle initiated today in the Dems Primary Race an embarrassing number of times before. A major political campaign gets sideswiped by cowardly innuendo, in this case from a traitorous windbag some decades past his prime. The thusly engaged parties involved throw flaming balls of crap at each other. Everyone gets burned, while somebody (usually the roped-in dope, or dopette) survives to fight another battle. And the jerk-off who threw the first bomb gets to start more battles later. In campaigning, it's called the dark arts. For tax purposes, those paid to do it call it "opposition research". I call it something else - the Full Novak.

To explain - Robert Novak threw a bomb of an undefined "story" in his especially horrid column meant to tarnish Barack Obama with "scandalous" overtones that was blamed on Hillary Clinton's campaign. No one knows any of the details yet. But Obama's already come out this afternoon to say don't "Swift Boat" him and Hillary's minions are spreading loads of counterattacks and denials. We all know Novak's the ultimate dooshbag. We all expect unending scandal in the current state of electoral wrangling. Sadly. But did ya expect that a guy who was utlimately responsible for outing a CIA agent and sending Scooter Libby to jail would go this far, this soon thereafter? I can only hope that this story is nothing but bunnyfarts and we all laugh, laugh, laugh at the momentary ripple at this stage of the campaign. But hope ain't shite in politics. It's just a hick town in Arkansas.

Hope your own weekend is focused on what it should be - football. Rock on.

"Just when I thought I was out..."

While a hearty majority of the nation is probably debating whether "Dancing With the Stars" will have another vaguely creepy Emmitt Smith character this time around, Alberto "Call me Al" Gonzales continues to simmer in a salty broth. That turkey's almost cooked. My money's on the fact that he'll be compelled to testify before Congress and even the most loyal Bushie has no idea where that might lead. But I must admit that I'm more fixated on Harriet "Greatest Counsel Ever!" Miers. Can you just imagine the Constitutional crisis we'd be facing if she'd not been yanked back from that insanely misplaced nomination to the Supremes? 'Cause ya know the last Congress would have rubber-stamped her when push came to shove. And she'd been involved - pre-nomination, mind you - in the idea of selectively purging the Judicial Branch of folks unwilling to play ball with the hardcore Bushies. Holy. Moly. Even though she's been put back to pasture in Dallas, "Heckuva Job!" Harriet's getting yanked back in "Godfather III"-style (translation: horribly unworthy, unworkable final chapter). I can't see how the White House will be able to quash a Congressional supeona since she's already on the outside - resigned last year to "spend more time with her (selected cover story)." She'll have her C-SPAN moment. Tough timing to have just had the lusciously lucid Valerie Plame before the Members. Don't expect Tony Blankley to make any jokes about the color of Harriet's "roots" as he appallingly did on last week's "Left, Right and Center". Speaking of which - Tony Blankley is the biggest doosh in the entire medicine cabinet of Conservative apologists. My wife, I believe, thinks it's Tom DeLay, based on his "Morning Edition" interview this morning - much dooshiness was to be beheld, no doubt. Regardless, let me know if you've got a nomination for this game.

Hope your own emails are selectively deleted forever and ever when you see fit wink wink nudge nudge. Rock on.

"Could Ms. Plame please repeat that last bit about 'under cover operations'...and just a little slower this time?"

The two stories that have my attention today are obvious yet still surprising. Foremost, Alberto "The President calls me Al" Gonzalez is finally catching the heck he should've received years ago. I simply believe that he's on his way out. Dubya will need to cut bait on Justice and Gonzo's the designated chump there to keep the taint from running all the way uphill. I always thought he was a greasy loyal-to-a-fault Bushie. Now we get to see for real just how comfortable he is lying repeatedly. Not a pretty sight.

But in terms of prettiness, Valerie Plame is pretty much off the charts. I just caught a bit of the opening of her appearance before Henry Waxman's House Government Reform Committee. All the prior photos haven't done her justice. I'm sure she'll be all over the place for the next few newsy cycles. Rawrr.

Hope your own March Madness is easily treated with proper medication. Rock on.