Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Clearing the dreck

My absolutely horrible SIFF choices continue.  So to maybe clean my palette, I'll let you live the awfulness vicariously.

The documentary "8: The Mormon Proposition" was the best of the bunch.  My rating - a pretty flat C.  I totally agree with the desire to show how nefarious the Mormons were (and will be) when it came to funding the anti-gay marriage referendum on California's 2008 fall election ballot.  The crowd at the Egyptian Theatre couldn't have been more fabulous.  But preaching to the choir does not an inspiring sermon make.  Sorry.

The micro-budget Seattle feature "Perfect 10" premiered with all of the cast and the co-director/writer/producers present at SIFF Cinema's theatre in the Seattle Center.  They had a decent crowd and everyone was all smiles and encouraging pats on the back.  The story is about a chubby chaser, and the woman desirous of said chasing.  More or less.  I'm a total dick for being realistically harsh because this movie was like a poorly acted, weirdly shot student film with about as many laughs as an episode of "The King of Queens".  Still, my rating is a solid D.  The beauty of it, however, shows that SIFF surely encourages local productions and probably provides expertise to assist through the whole process.  I only hope they encourage ones that challenge the viewer a bit more.  Or at least don't make us feel sad leaving the theatre if we intend to say what we really thought.

Much easier to throw under the bus is the sci-fi belly flop "Splice" - it was at SIFF before opening in theatres last weekend.  Because of family logistics, I couldn't do SIFF screenings last night.  But I could catch this sad little thriller at the Oaktree 6 off Aurora Avenue (the most bleak with extra zazz multiplex in Seattle).  My rating is another solid D.  I imagine Adrian Brody bringing his Oscar with him to the set every day, hoping that might justify the choices he continues to make - both on and off screen.  Both he and Sarah Polley are much better than this.

Luckily for me, "Splice" is also a Joel Silver production.  So after a short respite from excusing this sort of movie, I'm back to calling out the guy for what he is - a modern Jabba the Hut who will finance just about anything salacious or soul destroying.  Speaking of which, I'd like to pitch an idea for a script, Joel.  Picture this - "The Stuff" meets "Wedding Crashers".  With zombies.  Or maybe Amazon women.  No, not women from  The archers.  Look, just call me.  I'm still working on the story boards and sorta spitballing here.  But it's gonna be huge.  Babe.

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