Monday, November 12, 2007
Friday, November 09, 2007
Attention DC Servers: Tucker Carlson will "leave a Hillary" for every meal for at least the next year.
Oh. My. Gawd. Hillary. Sucks. Or, at the VERY least, her campaign staff is so ruthless and tonedeaf that they don't deserve a chance in Hell once things really get dicey. Confused? Call it TipGate. NPR broke the story yesterday inadvertently, regarding a visit to a Iowa restaurant by Hillary and her subsequent use of an anecdotal exchange with a waitress, Anita Esterday. The waitress claims Hillary left no tip. I listened to the report yesterday and today's follow-up in real time. Without a doubt, Ms. Esterday (a single mother of two boys working two jobs) is legit. Everyone agrees that it's utterly ridiculous. Still, in the most incredibly stupid fashion I've ever seen, the Clinton campaign is trying to trash this minimum-wage working woman including using a pseudo-slick new counter-attack website. Somewhere right now, Matt Drudge is spooging into his mock-tweedy pants.
The follow-up story on today's "Morning Edition" is essential reading/listening. Do I think Hillary intentionally tried to short Esterday? Surely not. But the utter ruthlessness of her minions' response and obfuscation concerns me greatly. I expect that Hillary's campaign is the front-runner. I think she's a smart manager. I, nonetheless, understand why so many people so deeply despise her. Most of it's not her fault - she's surrounded by opportunists that will never rightly admit a wrong. But this story has legs that shouldn't even be possible. By not admitting that a mistake was made and instead offering up credit card receipts that in no way supports her story, Hillary's staff just lost her tens of thousands of votes from waitresses nationwide. Horrible, horrible campaign work. If anything thus far for '08 has approached the toxic volatility of Howard Dean's overplayed scream in Iowa, this sucker has the volume.
Hope your own tips are at least 25% today. Rock on.
The follow-up story on today's "Morning Edition" is essential reading/listening. Do I think Hillary intentionally tried to short Esterday? Surely not. But the utter ruthlessness of her minions' response and obfuscation concerns me greatly. I expect that Hillary's campaign is the front-runner. I think she's a smart manager. I, nonetheless, understand why so many people so deeply despise her. Most of it's not her fault - she's surrounded by opportunists that will never rightly admit a wrong. But this story has legs that shouldn't even be possible. By not admitting that a mistake was made and instead offering up credit card receipts that in no way supports her story, Hillary's staff just lost her tens of thousands of votes from waitresses nationwide. Horrible, horrible campaign work. If anything thus far for '08 has approached the toxic volatility of Howard Dean's overplayed scream in Iowa, this sucker has the volume.
Hope your own tips are at least 25% today. Rock on.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Maya takes my joke about sidewalk chalk causing brain cooties a bit too far.
Originally uploaded by emaggie
Monday, November 05, 2007
Make my sauce extra-snarky, please.
Just to get it out there quick and easy - Pervez "The Perv (eternal credit to Harry Shearer)" Musharraf in Pakistan is running the funniest con-game since "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" gave us Steve Martin as Ruprecht.
Back to the point at hand - if anyone buys this State of Emergency, I've got a handful of other States in the Middle East to sell you. Atrocious. But the one moment of levity in this whole debacle is that all Pakistani lawyers appear to dress alike. Not exactly "LA Law" couture for the counselors down yonder. Some shtick aside, though - Dubya's schedulers are posing as almost vaudvillians (eternal credit to me for that linguistic construct...please). Specifically, he spoke out for the first time about the crisis with the Prime Minister of Turkey seated next to him. Who probably had a Kurd tied up in his limo. Who also got to scold Musharraf for his extra-legal abuses. Somewhere right now, on strike satirists are peeing in their pants and grinding their teeth down to the nubs.
Hope you're all still hailing the manhood of Brett Favre while snacking on some Kansas City style ribs today. Rock on.
Back to the point at hand - if anyone buys this State of Emergency, I've got a handful of other States in the Middle East to sell you. Atrocious. But the one moment of levity in this whole debacle is that all Pakistani lawyers appear to dress alike. Not exactly "LA Law" couture for the counselors down yonder. Some shtick aside, though - Dubya's schedulers are posing as almost vaudvillians (eternal credit to me for that linguistic construct...please). Specifically, he spoke out for the first time about the crisis with the Prime Minister of Turkey seated next to him. Who probably had a Kurd tied up in his limo. Who also got to scold Musharraf for his extra-legal abuses. Somewhere right now, on strike satirists are peeing in their pants and grinding their teeth down to the nubs.
Hope you're all still hailing the manhood of Brett Favre while snacking on some Kansas City style ribs today. Rock on.
Friday, November 02, 2007
When Ayad Allawi's the funniest man in the conversation, we're so totally screwed...
A quickie reference to the NYTimes Op/Ed page today. Which was a fairly sickening distillation of everything our current political reality represents in a single page. Paul Krugman rightly eviscerated Rudy Guiliani - in this case regarding his fear-mongering on, of all viable possibilities, health care options. David Brooks wrote the least funny piece possible regarding the Dems debate earlier this week. And Ayad Allawi (assuredly ghost-written by shameless shill and former Bushie Deputy National Security Adviser Robert Blackwill) railed against elections. In Iraq. Cough. There are thousands of take-aways from this trifecta. Do yourself a favor and search for your own. You owe it to the cocktail parties you'll hopefully attend this weekend.
Hope your own jokes today are eons better than the umpfrickinteenth reference to John Edwards' hair or Joe Biden's verbosity. Rock on.
Hope your own jokes today are eons better than the umpfrickinteenth reference to John Edwards' hair or Joe Biden's verbosity. Rock on.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Maya and Groucho prep for an evening of toiletpapering our new neighborhood.
Originally uploaded by emaggie
Saturday, October 27, 2007
And then he tried to peck the wallet out of my shorts...
For those that are sick of the political that I realize I've focused on far too often recently, I offer the following.
Earlier today we took Maya to her 2nd lifetime concert. Justin Roberts @ the Moore Theatre where she saw Dan Zanes last Spring. Justin isn't especially overwhelming. He'd never be called the Rolling Stones in contrast to the Beatles for kids tag that might be applied to Dan Zanes. But he can play quirky songs with a rockin' edge. The half-filled Moore was largely entertained for the 75-minute set. Maya was be jammin'. But, in the most telling moment of the entire show - when Justin Roberts and his entirely fun supporting cast of "Not Ready for Naptime Players" came back out for a single-song encore...Maya asked when Dan Zanes was going to play. Getting compared to a different artist is never fair. Gawd knows I've heard it far too often whenever Brett Favre gets brought up in reference to my high school football career. Regardless, I've give Justin Roberts a solid B rating for the show. Now if only Dan Zanes would come through Seattle before next April.
There are plenty more Maya stories that might be of interest, but I'm still fixated on one freakish moment yesterday when I was prepping to run around Green Lake. For those that don't know of what I speak, Green Lake is an urban oasis for Seattlites that all of us occasionally run/walk/bike around. Yesterday was a particularly clear yet brisk Fall morning. With a full moon sinking over the Western horizon. I dropped Maya off for her morning session with the Lutherans early with the not entirely unitentional motive of getting a run in around the Lake before things got busy. Everything was going according to plan - I parked in the half-filled lot that's usually the busiest, stretched, and got the iPod set with a few fresh distractions. And then I walked toward the trail. And got dive-bombed by a rogue crow that "cawed!" loudly as he/she hit me just below the chin. No blood. No rabies (hopefully). But how screwy is that? Who, I ask you, has ever been more of a defender of the birds? Well, maybe Robert Kennedy Jr. Or pirates. Still, I haven't been able to look at our feathered "friends" the same way since. I hate to be alarmist. But be afraid, America. We've done something wrong and "they" know it. Remember, you heard it here first.
Hope your own conspiracies deal entirely with college football today. Rock on.
Earlier today we took Maya to her 2nd lifetime concert. Justin Roberts @ the Moore Theatre where she saw Dan Zanes last Spring. Justin isn't especially overwhelming. He'd never be called the Rolling Stones in contrast to the Beatles for kids tag that might be applied to Dan Zanes. But he can play quirky songs with a rockin' edge. The half-filled Moore was largely entertained for the 75-minute set. Maya was be jammin'. But, in the most telling moment of the entire show - when Justin Roberts and his entirely fun supporting cast of "Not Ready for Naptime Players" came back out for a single-song encore...Maya asked when Dan Zanes was going to play. Getting compared to a different artist is never fair. Gawd knows I've heard it far too often whenever Brett Favre gets brought up in reference to my high school football career. Regardless, I've give Justin Roberts a solid B rating for the show. Now if only Dan Zanes would come through Seattle before next April.
There are plenty more Maya stories that might be of interest, but I'm still fixated on one freakish moment yesterday when I was prepping to run around Green Lake. For those that don't know of what I speak, Green Lake is an urban oasis for Seattlites that all of us occasionally run/walk/bike around. Yesterday was a particularly clear yet brisk Fall morning. With a full moon sinking over the Western horizon. I dropped Maya off for her morning session with the Lutherans early with the not entirely unitentional motive of getting a run in around the Lake before things got busy. Everything was going according to plan - I parked in the half-filled lot that's usually the busiest, stretched, and got the iPod set with a few fresh distractions. And then I walked toward the trail. And got dive-bombed by a rogue crow that "cawed!" loudly as he/she hit me just below the chin. No blood. No rabies (hopefully). But how screwy is that? Who, I ask you, has ever been more of a defender of the birds? Well, maybe Robert Kennedy Jr. Or pirates. Still, I haven't been able to look at our feathered "friends" the same way since. I hate to be alarmist. But be afraid, America. We've done something wrong and "they" know it. Remember, you heard it here first.
Hope your own conspiracies deal entirely with college football today. Rock on.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Or about the price of a used Hummer
A few tidbits of scary news caught my eye this morning.
USA Today breaks down a Congressional Budget Office report that does the long-term estimate on the cost of the Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Hold onto your hat - $2.4 Trillion. The Bushies are already calling bullshite on any mention of the report. But with the latest fiscal year request of $196 Billion for borrowed cash and the pre-war Bushie estimates of around $50 Billion TOTAL, I'm expect that two and a half TRILLION is probably nearing the actual mark. By the way, that works out to $8K for each and every American. Even the rich ones.
All the smoke over Blackwater USA's cowboy attitude is obviously indicative of lots more fire there (sorry for the unfortunate metaphor given all the scariness in Southern California). In a story that will quickly dissipate, the State Department has $4 Billion in annual contracts with them and 16 other private mercenary companies. And our people under Condi @ State have 17 people overseeing the contracts, or an average of over $230 Million per person. Sound fiscally responsible? I don't think so either.
Mitt Romney picked up a telling endorsement - Bob Jones III of the infamous Bob Jones University. So a Mormon is now palatable to the outer fringe of American evangelicals. Proving that he too is a uniter, not a divider.
Hope your own news perusing focuses mainly on the start of the World Series today. Rock on.
USA Today breaks down a Congressional Budget Office report that does the long-term estimate on the cost of the Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Hold onto your hat - $2.4 Trillion. The Bushies are already calling bullshite on any mention of the report. But with the latest fiscal year request of $196 Billion for borrowed cash and the pre-war Bushie estimates of around $50 Billion TOTAL, I'm expect that two and a half TRILLION is probably nearing the actual mark. By the way, that works out to $8K for each and every American. Even the rich ones.
All the smoke over Blackwater USA's cowboy attitude is obviously indicative of lots more fire there (sorry for the unfortunate metaphor given all the scariness in Southern California). In a story that will quickly dissipate, the State Department has $4 Billion in annual contracts with them and 16 other private mercenary companies. And our people under Condi @ State have 17 people overseeing the contracts, or an average of over $230 Million per person. Sound fiscally responsible? I don't think so either.
Mitt Romney picked up a telling endorsement - Bob Jones III of the infamous Bob Jones University. So a Mormon is now palatable to the outer fringe of American evangelicals. Proving that he too is a uniter, not a divider.
Hope your own news perusing focuses mainly on the start of the World Series today. Rock on.
Friday, October 19, 2007
The Line
I'll start out obvious today - we live in an age ripe for political satire. Rank hypocrises fly by all of us like so many roadside billboards. Yet I've always expected that there was a dividing line. That line runs between those trying to manipulate our electoral system (the Parties' apparatchiks) and those making fun of manipulating our electoral system (everyone else). Weh-eh-eh-ell...the Florida Democratic Party crosses over that line by supporting a particularly hilarious satire site that went live today - DraftKatherineHarris.com. It features YouTube clips of past compilations of her somewhat obvious crimes. It offers some of the cheesecake that makes Kat so eternally delish. But, I must admit, it goes somewhere that I don't think either Party should go. If the people running the campaigns become as snarky and cynical as the brilliance behind our Nation's best satirists, we've stepped over that line a stride too far. Judge for yourself.
Hope your own lines are uncrossed today. Rock on.
UPDATE: I just saw last night's "Colbert Report" and he used "the line" as a joke to define the silliness surrounding his fake campaign for Prezidunt. So neither of us stole it. As far as I know.
Hope your own lines are uncrossed today. Rock on.
UPDATE: I just saw last night's "Colbert Report" and he used "the line" as a joke to define the silliness surrounding his fake campaign for Prezidunt. So neither of us stole it. As far as I know.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Let's all please agree to stop calling it a "bully pulpit" for the next, oh, 15 months or so, mm'kay?
Maya's sick and has been so for a few days. Discomfort on the level of a Larry Craig interview. But there are a few nuggets that I need to weigh in on before all the highly-paid pundits steal my thunder.
Sam Brownback's dropping out of the GOP race. So all the Brownbackers will now presumably become Huckabees. Ah, poetry.
The House failed to override Dubya's SCHIP veto by a handful of votes. Somewhere right now, Rahm Emanuel is toasting the future of his Party with Snidley Whiplash-like glee. Meanwhile, millions of kids are suffering. After a few days of seeing how much a child can suffer with exceptional healthcare, I feel more than ever that we as a Nation don't know shite about this issue any longer.
Dubya's invocation of "World War III" as a boogeyman during yesterday's press conference will, in my estimation, be one of his most quoted banana peels from this era of incompetence. To even bring it up from his self-proclaimed "bully pulpit" indicates how little he knows about his job. After nearly 7 years on the job. If he was a teacher, he'd have hit the bricks by the final bell yesterday. Instead, we've got 15 remaining months of this goober.
Seattle was warned that a big windstorm was bearing down on us today. It veered and it now appears that British Columbia might soon be leveled. Which is a drag, because I still hadn't made it up to Whistler.
Hope your own hatches are battened today. Rock on.
Sam Brownback's dropping out of the GOP race. So all the Brownbackers will now presumably become Huckabees. Ah, poetry.
The House failed to override Dubya's SCHIP veto by a handful of votes. Somewhere right now, Rahm Emanuel is toasting the future of his Party with Snidley Whiplash-like glee. Meanwhile, millions of kids are suffering. After a few days of seeing how much a child can suffer with exceptional healthcare, I feel more than ever that we as a Nation don't know shite about this issue any longer.
Dubya's invocation of "World War III" as a boogeyman during yesterday's press conference will, in my estimation, be one of his most quoted banana peels from this era of incompetence. To even bring it up from his self-proclaimed "bully pulpit" indicates how little he knows about his job. After nearly 7 years on the job. If he was a teacher, he'd have hit the bricks by the final bell yesterday. Instead, we've got 15 remaining months of this goober.
Seattle was warned that a big windstorm was bearing down on us today. It veered and it now appears that British Columbia might soon be leveled. Which is a drag, because I still hadn't made it up to Whistler.
Hope your own hatches are battened today. Rock on.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Maya checks out one of the umpteen cameras her Dad has trashed in days past.
Originally uploaded by emaggie
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Throwing immense piles of elephant poop
Last night's GOP debate was atrociously lame. While too many are focused on the internecine sparring, the tipping point moment was Mitt Romney saying that a President would need to "sit down with his lawyers" to determine if a pre-emptive attack on Iran was doable. Ahem. Ron Paul went apeshite and will surely see his already crazed internuts send cash by the bushels in response. Everyone else just looked horrible both before and after. Rudy Guiliani has the scariest worldview imaginable - he must be having marital problems. Again. Fred Thompson has as much of a chance of becoming President as David Spade. Duncan Hunter and Tom Tancredo both have to be gay given the Larry Craigness of their vitriolic nonsense. Sam Brownback and Mike Huckabee have the dumbest names in the history of the Republic. If any of these maniacs are our next President, we're all moving to Canada.
Hope your own debates are about chicken vs. fish today. Rock on.
Hope your own debates are about chicken vs. fish today. Rock on.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Bowling for Crandon
It's so typical that it barely makes the front-pages of America anymore - a killing spree in a small town due to some sort of hothead snapping like a treebranch in a light wind. But the massacre of 6 people and the killing of the cop who murdered them over a stupid argument surely caught my attention. Because it occurred in a small town in Northern Wisconsin much like the one I grew up in. Crandon, Wisconsin. Just outside Rhinelander on Highway 8. Full of people that live to hunt and fish and snowmobile and cheer for the Packers. In the early morning hours after the Homecoming game and dance, a jilted boyfriend got insulted by an ex-girlfriend and the friends she had over for pizza and movies. He went back to his car and grabbed this gun.
Then he killed everyone in the room except one who was critically wounded. The shooter was a 20-year-old off-duty cop. The town is devastated. And the Nation shrugs. There's a GOP debate in Michigan tonight. Do you think anyone's going to ask that field of gun nuts to comment? Me neither.
Hope your own weapons are locked not loaded today. Rock on.
Then he killed everyone in the room except one who was critically wounded. The shooter was a 20-year-old off-duty cop. The town is devastated. And the Nation shrugs. There's a GOP debate in Michigan tonight. Do you think anyone's going to ask that field of gun nuts to comment? Me neither.
Hope your own weapons are locked not loaded today. Rock on.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Without realizing - shame on all of us.
Here's a hand grenade - the piece on the Bush Administration's torture policy in today's NYTimes cuts to the existential core question of our Nation's survival. Read it. Dubya has loved to defend his actions over the last few years by saying some retard version of "history will decide." Well, this smells an awful lot like history. Even if you don't give a rat's arse about civil liberties or if the nuances wash over you like so much simulated drowning, it is chilling. I'll sum it up for those that can't be bothered by the itemized dissembling of our core values about human liberty. The Bushies believe that torture can be defined to allow for the shite-beating of people we capture in foreign lands. Head slapping, naked exposure to freezing temperatures and simulated drowning are not torture. At least if it occurs off American soil. This piece is chock full of the most astonishing crap since the last season of anything Paris Hilton was associated with. But the stunning asides - John Yoo being known as "Dr. Yes" within the Justice Department, James Comey calling out David Addington as the nefarious bastard that he surely is, Janet Ashcroft sticking out her tongue at Fredo Gonzales and Andrew "Lowest Possible" Card as they left her husband's hospital bedside? Frickin' priceless. This one's gots legs. Bet your last diminished, disgraced dollar on that.
Hope your own national disgraces deal with womens' World Cup soccer today. Rock on.
Hope your own national disgraces deal with womens' World Cup soccer today. Rock on.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Looking back...
We've been back in Seattle since Sunday after a weeklong visit to Wisconsin and Minneapolis. Unless you know us well, you probably had little idea of this brief change of locale aside from a few pics that I'd posted. My family's home is Wisconsin's gorgeous Northwoods has a dial-up Intenet connection so I just kind of dropped off the radar for a bit when it came to posting. And our time in Minneapolis was more of a chance to visit old haunts and hang with cherished friends than a time for commentary. So as a means of catching up, I'll give a brief rundown before I get back to my usual brand of snark.
My hometown is within a few miles of the highest point in the State of Wisconsin (Timms Hill, just outside Ogema). Fall always comes early to that part of the State. This year's colors maybe weren't the best ever. But they were so utterly gorgeous that all day long I found myself marvelling at new angles or what seemed to be rapidly changing hues on the rolling horizon lines or the gravel roads that we drove down repeatedly. We spent quality time with Grandma and Grandpa for Maya. We tried to get her excited about the animals to no avail. We saw the land complete its yearly march through the harvest. It was beautiful. Little changes in the land of my youth. I hope you can see that in your own life, no matter the fashion.
Minneapolis surprised me in so many ways. On a long urban hike just before going to the Gophers game Saturday I saw the phenomenal vista that is the new Guthrie Theatre alongside the utterly rejuvenated "Mill District" just West of the rapidly improving mess that is the 35W Bridge Collapse District. Maya got some playdates with the kids of college friends of mine. We used to be so punk rock. Now we're so pleasantly normal and connected to our new hometowns. I see Minneapolis and Seattle as cities cut from the same cloth - vibrant, stylish, somewhat misunderstood places that welcome families, college kids and immigrants alike. Sure, I'm biased as hell. But to all those that showed me a chunk of what I used to know so well in a slightly revised light, thank you.
Hope your own memory lanes are lined with the falling leaves of autumn today. Rock on.
My hometown is within a few miles of the highest point in the State of Wisconsin (Timms Hill, just outside Ogema). Fall always comes early to that part of the State. This year's colors maybe weren't the best ever. But they were so utterly gorgeous that all day long I found myself marvelling at new angles or what seemed to be rapidly changing hues on the rolling horizon lines or the gravel roads that we drove down repeatedly. We spent quality time with Grandma and Grandpa for Maya. We tried to get her excited about the animals to no avail. We saw the land complete its yearly march through the harvest. It was beautiful. Little changes in the land of my youth. I hope you can see that in your own life, no matter the fashion.
Minneapolis surprised me in so many ways. On a long urban hike just before going to the Gophers game Saturday I saw the phenomenal vista that is the new Guthrie Theatre alongside the utterly rejuvenated "Mill District" just West of the rapidly improving mess that is the 35W Bridge Collapse District. Maya got some playdates with the kids of college friends of mine. We used to be so punk rock. Now we're so pleasantly normal and connected to our new hometowns. I see Minneapolis and Seattle as cities cut from the same cloth - vibrant, stylish, somewhat misunderstood places that welcome families, college kids and immigrants alike. Sure, I'm biased as hell. But to all those that showed me a chunk of what I used to know so well in a slightly revised light, thank you.
Hope your own memory lanes are lined with the falling leaves of autumn today. Rock on.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Can you imagine a creepier bathroom to go cruising in?
This is the vista outside the now-famous bathroom at the Minneapolis-St. Paul Airport where Larry Craig was busted for "allegedly" cruising. I even found the stall itself. All I can say is please, please move the Snoopy statue, America.
This shot of my Dad walking out to the hayfields behind my parents' house sums up more of my childhood in Wisconsin than any shot I've ever taken.
Friday, September 21, 2007
"Plus, that Mother Theresa chick left the building one of my people just told me."
I'm embarrassed to admit that I didn't watch Dubya's entire presser yesterday. But as the viral flux of our age has shown me today, I should have. Let's face it - Dubya makes the not-so-occassional gaffe. Still, saying that Nelson Mandela was dead and that Saddam Hussein bizarrely had something to do with it is a new level of head-scratcher. 16 months, People. 16 more months of this guy running our Country. Short your stocks now. Or stock your shorts - however you whether these periods.
Hope your own weekend trips take you where the fall colors cancel out any notice of Red States versus Blue States differences. Rock on.
Hope your own weekend trips take you where the fall colors cancel out any notice of Red States versus Blue States differences. Rock on.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
"And for those keepin' score, it's not like an A in tax-cuttin' is something you can get every semester, heh heh."
Everyone knows Dubya was/is a lousy student. But why can't we as Americans ground him for lying about his report card as he did earlier today?
No wonder he'd say he got a B in Econ 101 when he actually got a C-minus in a two-semester cycle of introductory Econ courses. Remember, America - he was blotto until he was 40-years-old. His recall of grades during his Sophomore year at Yale is the equivalent of asking him what Barbara packed him for lunch his first day of cheerleading camp the summer prior to getting jazzy in prep school at Phillips Academy in Andover, Massachusetts.
Hope your own grade transcripts aren't Googled today. Rock on.
No wonder he'd say he got a B in Econ 101 when he actually got a C-minus in a two-semester cycle of introductory Econ courses. Remember, America - he was blotto until he was 40-years-old. His recall of grades during his Sophomore year at Yale is the equivalent of asking him what Barbara packed him for lunch his first day of cheerleading camp the summer prior to getting jazzy in prep school at Phillips Academy in Andover, Massachusetts.
Hope your own grade transcripts aren't Googled today. Rock on.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
"Just a bit outside."
I've been repeatedly impressed with Jon Stewart over the last many years. But his interview with Alan Greenspan last night was definitely one of his best. While so many others are attacking Greenspan for his new book's self-serving defenses of the looming housing value meltdown and the Iraq War, Jon took the opportunity to ask him actual economics questions. I can almost guarantee that this is the only way that teenagers and college kids are getting exposure to macro-econ. Even those enrolled in those horrendous undergrad courses that we've all forgotten entirely. Kudos. The Emmy for "The Daily Show" was entirely deserved.
The Brew Crew won a big one last night on the road in Houston. That makes 4 in a row. With 12 games to play, they're in a virtual tie with the Cubs who have 10 games remaining. And this weekend we're heading back to Wisconsin for a visit prior to a conference for Sarah in Minneapolis. Special irony bonus - we're flying into the Minneapolis Airport. So after a stop by the Larry Craig bathroom stall (please check back for pics), expect that I'll be glued to Bob Uecker's play-by-play call during an honest-to-Gawd playoff chase. If you could see me right now, you'd know that I'm nippin' out.
Hope your own bathroom stops are equally worth a creepy snapshot today. Rock on.
The Brew Crew won a big one last night on the road in Houston. That makes 4 in a row. With 12 games to play, they're in a virtual tie with the Cubs who have 10 games remaining. And this weekend we're heading back to Wisconsin for a visit prior to a conference for Sarah in Minneapolis. Special irony bonus - we're flying into the Minneapolis Airport. So after a stop by the Larry Craig bathroom stall (please check back for pics), expect that I'll be glued to Bob Uecker's play-by-play call during an honest-to-Gawd playoff chase. If you could see me right now, you'd know that I'm nippin' out.
Hope your own bathroom stops are equally worth a creepy snapshot today. Rock on.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
The Chicago Cubs will die angry and miss everything cool
Today's Top Three driveby stories of the most obvious and overdue derision.
1. O.J. Mudderfu**ng Simpson. Stealing back memorabilia including the suit he wore at his acquittal in '95. I strongly suggest the judge in Las Vegas require that he wear his bounty at his upcoming sentencing.
2. Britney Spears. I, for one, thought she was totally hot as she meandered around the stage in Las Vegas. Oh wait - what are the odds that both O.J. and Britney would dissemble entirely at the same hotel (Palms Oasis) the same week. What happens in Vegas should please, PLEASE stay in Vegas. Even though we know in either of these cases it won't.
3. The Packers are hot (2-0) and the Brewers are in a race for the playoffs after months of wavering frontrunnership. So all these years of wishing on those falling chunks of Skylab have finally paid off. Thank you, Gawd.
Hope your own moments of self-congratulation don't come back to bite you in the panties today. Rock on.
1. O.J. Mudderfu**ng Simpson. Stealing back memorabilia including the suit he wore at his acquittal in '95. I strongly suggest the judge in Las Vegas require that he wear his bounty at his upcoming sentencing.
2. Britney Spears. I, for one, thought she was totally hot as she meandered around the stage in Las Vegas. Oh wait - what are the odds that both O.J. and Britney would dissemble entirely at the same hotel (Palms Oasis) the same week. What happens in Vegas should please, PLEASE stay in Vegas. Even though we know in either of these cases it won't.
3. The Packers are hot (2-0) and the Brewers are in a race for the playoffs after months of wavering frontrunnership. So all these years of wishing on those falling chunks of Skylab have finally paid off. Thank you, Gawd.
Hope your own moments of self-congratulation don't come back to bite you in the panties today. Rock on.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Depart Off Failure
So there you have it America. Dubya calls the pre-ordained troop rotations a "Return On Success." As Thomas Ricks pointed out last night for the Washington Post - it sounds like a Merrill Lynch ad. A bad one, I'll add. If Dubya was worth more parsing, I'd get my panties all in a bunch and do so. But I've got a different point to make.
Iraq is doomed. Other nations in modern history have dissembled into decades of civil war given a horrifying minority acting off of a majority opinion of dissatisfaction. But this one's a totally new level of screw-up. And as the instigating Nation, everyone back here in the US of A is tarnished. The anemic anti-war movement inspires less people than those hepped on the new Fall TV schedule. The fraudulent pro-war movement are the same genetic strain of hooligans that enjoyed the gladitory events at the Colliseum before the fall of Rome. And people like me that have been against this sort of folly since 9/11 are just as screwed as the lot of us. No wonder Britney Spears drunkenly hogging the spotlight @ the MTV VMAs is so much, much more fun. Here's my point - we need to get mad. Intelligently mad. The Surge is a failure. The Extension of the Surge meant to "Return On Success" is a fraud. People need to rise up, march in the Streets and clog up the business of Government. Our Nation can't take this extension without suffering the ultimate loss. That of the Nation itself. I got in trouble with a group of beloved friends a year ago saying that we are a more divided Nation than at any time in our history, even though we don't realize it yet. I won't claim prescience. But that's what it increasingly feels like. We can't settle this Iraqi civil war even though we caused it. We must stop. One more dead American is far, far too many. And that's all I've got to say about that.
Hope your own riffs lead to something more today. Rock on.
Iraq is doomed. Other nations in modern history have dissembled into decades of civil war given a horrifying minority acting off of a majority opinion of dissatisfaction. But this one's a totally new level of screw-up. And as the instigating Nation, everyone back here in the US of A is tarnished. The anemic anti-war movement inspires less people than those hepped on the new Fall TV schedule. The fraudulent pro-war movement are the same genetic strain of hooligans that enjoyed the gladitory events at the Colliseum before the fall of Rome. And people like me that have been against this sort of folly since 9/11 are just as screwed as the lot of us. No wonder Britney Spears drunkenly hogging the spotlight @ the MTV VMAs is so much, much more fun. Here's my point - we need to get mad. Intelligently mad. The Surge is a failure. The Extension of the Surge meant to "Return On Success" is a fraud. People need to rise up, march in the Streets and clog up the business of Government. Our Nation can't take this extension without suffering the ultimate loss. That of the Nation itself. I got in trouble with a group of beloved friends a year ago saying that we are a more divided Nation than at any time in our history, even though we don't realize it yet. I won't claim prescience. But that's what it increasingly feels like. We can't settle this Iraqi civil war even though we caused it. We must stop. One more dead American is far, far too many. And that's all I've got to say about that.
Hope your own riffs lead to something more today. Rock on.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Next question: "Why do you call our people 'troopers' not 'troops'? Just wondering..."
House Minority Leader John "Not Boner" Boehner (R-OH) will never be accused of being well-timed in making outrageous statements. But his latest assessment of our losses in Iraq as "a small price" is as far as I've seen a foot go into a mouth in quite some time. If he gets away with saying this and not needing to apologize, we're all asleep at the switch.
Dubya speaks down to the Nation tonight. We all know what's coming. My only question is whether there will be any reference to the leading provincial Sunni Sheik blown to smithereens today, just 10 days after meeting with Dubya on the American base in Anbar Province. I expect he'll need to make this latest casualty into the latest psuedo-inspiring figure. How sad. I just hope some of the media availability of General Petraeus and Ambassador Crocker that has been so pronounced these last few days will continue today so that somebody gets to ask the question - "How can you hold up Anbar as such a success when one of new allies was just assassinated?" Please, somebody ask that question.
Hope your own calm is anything but relative today. Rock on.
Dubya speaks down to the Nation tonight. We all know what's coming. My only question is whether there will be any reference to the leading provincial Sunni Sheik blown to smithereens today, just 10 days after meeting with Dubya on the American base in Anbar Province. I expect he'll need to make this latest casualty into the latest psuedo-inspiring figure. How sad. I just hope some of the media availability of General Petraeus and Ambassador Crocker that has been so pronounced these last few days will continue today so that somebody gets to ask the question - "How can you hold up Anbar as such a success when one of new allies was just assassinated?" Please, somebody ask that question.
Hope your own calm is anything but relative today. Rock on.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
And you thought "Encino Man" was bad...
Ah, twue wuhv.
Senator David Vitter (R-LA) is the latest "family values" adulterer to see his goose again nearing the edge of the stove. Hustler's Larry Flynt outed the hooker that Vitter would "visit" 2 or 3 times a week yesterday. Weirdly-timed, but still a stinkstorm should arise. It would have infinitely less impact if Larry Craig hadn't announced his "intent" to resign. As has been stated by many others in various forms, the big difference being that Louisiana has a Democratic Guhvanator (unlike Idaho) and most of us know that the replacement is appointed by the Guv. I can't say that I'll be buying my first Hustler to gain intimate insight into not only this tawdy affair. But my political tabloid gene will definitely be keeping a leering eye on Vitter as this story sputters or roars.
Petraeus and Crocker had thankless jobs before the Senators yesterday. But how did they actually do? Miserably. They took fire from all angles. Now Dubya's gotta come into the fray at long last Thursday night in a televised address meant to redirect fire at him. Ugh. Lee. Obama's finally showing some foresight in scheduling an Iraq withdrawl address this afternoon in Iowa. He'll get a huge bump in whichever direction. He'll dominate the argument today among the Dems especially since the only news Hillary's making today is ugly fundraising broadsides being thrown from all angles. But everyone else is going to trash this "surge" extension worse than the entire career of Paulie Shore. The dynamic will change. The Bushies won't be on offense any longer. And like so many other instances, they didn't see this one coming even though they should have.
Hope your own hookers know enough to stay on drugs and avoid ratting you out today. Rock on.
Senator David Vitter (R-LA) is the latest "family values" adulterer to see his goose again nearing the edge of the stove. Hustler's Larry Flynt outed the hooker that Vitter would "visit" 2 or 3 times a week yesterday. Weirdly-timed, but still a stinkstorm should arise. It would have infinitely less impact if Larry Craig hadn't announced his "intent" to resign. As has been stated by many others in various forms, the big difference being that Louisiana has a Democratic Guhvanator (unlike Idaho) and most of us know that the replacement is appointed by the Guv. I can't say that I'll be buying my first Hustler to gain intimate insight into not only this tawdy affair. But my political tabloid gene will definitely be keeping a leering eye on Vitter as this story sputters or roars.
Petraeus and Crocker had thankless jobs before the Senators yesterday. But how did they actually do? Miserably. They took fire from all angles. Now Dubya's gotta come into the fray at long last Thursday night in a televised address meant to redirect fire at him. Ugh. Lee. Obama's finally showing some foresight in scheduling an Iraq withdrawl address this afternoon in Iowa. He'll get a huge bump in whichever direction. He'll dominate the argument today among the Dems especially since the only news Hillary's making today is ugly fundraising broadsides being thrown from all angles. But everyone else is going to trash this "surge" extension worse than the entire career of Paulie Shore. The dynamic will change. The Bushies won't be on offense any longer. And like so many other instances, they didn't see this one coming even though they should have.
Hope your own hookers know enough to stay on drugs and avoid ratting you out today. Rock on.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Welcome, yet again, to The Suck
Six years. Six long, horribly depressing years of Dubya's misadventures since the attacks of 9/11. How are we as a Nation celebrating it? By largely ignoring the compelling hearing of General Petraeus and Ambassador Crocker before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. How surreal. Osama Bin Laden is being reduced to a footnote by the dwindling neoconpoops while Petraeus tries to make 32 dead American soldiers since the start of September sound like progress. I see where this whole "report" charade is headed, as do most Americans. We ain't going nowhere. Our troops aren't coming home. The daily reports of death and maiming will be forced further and further out of the spotlight. The largely forgettable movie "Jarhead" introduced to the lexicon the unwieldy cliche` "Welcome to The Suck." Well, each passing day of this quagmire makes me rethink the wisdom of that soldier's prescient phrasing. We, my fellow citizens, appear to be stuck in this version of The Suck for some time to come. Now that REALLY sucks.
To all those that have lost in this era of American shame, I send my heartfelt regrets. For those that think victory is at hand, I pull back the civility and say that I fear you. Not because I'm afraid of you. Just that I don't understand how much loss and shame you will need to satisfy the bloodlust that seems to have arisen from you ever since that terrible day a mere six years ago. Hope for the future. Rock on.
To all those that have lost in this era of American shame, I send my heartfelt regrets. For those that think victory is at hand, I pull back the civility and say that I fear you. Not because I'm afraid of you. Just that I don't understand how much loss and shame you will need to satisfy the bloodlust that seems to have arisen from you ever since that terrible day a mere six years ago. Hope for the future. Rock on.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Maya did her best from a distance while Poppy horked up an extinguishing loogie
Originally uploaded by emaggie
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Freewheeling ain't always so guiltfree
After a few days meant to absorb the trauma of a Maya incident of note, I'm finally ready to dump my story on the entire World. I'll be brief. Maybe. But honest. Unquestionably. For those that check in for Maya updates, this one's for you.
We've got a new house that we adore already. Maya's hit the ground running at full speed, which in this was part of the foreshadowed problem. She adores the backyard/back deck/sandbox, and sleeps like a drunken hippie in her new room. 'Nuff said 'bout that. But we're also in that crazy mode of organizing that requires certain moments of poor parenting. Cough. As in Wednesday afternoon when I was trying to put things into our garage storage space while Maya played in front on her tricycle on our slanted driveway. Bear in mind, we've begun to see an adventurousness in her demeanor that wasn't really in full bloom until rather recently. So picture me fully distracted sorting out a few decades worth of camping equipment and untenable luggage. And Maya pushing her trike up the incline of the driveway. And then mounting said trike. And pushing off. Rumble rumble CRAAAASH! Scream! Picture me instantaneously expecting the Seattle Police or Child Protective Services EMTs being dispatched to our house. Blood. Cedar bark everywhere. Sadness. And...scene.
So here's the good news - Maya's fine. Better than fine, she's undamaged. She drove her renegade crotchrocket into the landscaping just off the otherwise more ominous concrete driveway. I felt like the worst Dad EVER for a few days, hence the posting lag. But she's healed amazingly well. A bloodied and abrased nose, no broken teeth, no permanent scars, no lawsuits. Yet. She is pretty young to be appropriately lashing out, after all. Still, I had a ringer up my sleeve that had nothing to do with Larry Craig's lawyers. Maya's grandparents and aunties arrived in the days after "The Crash" on a pre-scheduled visit to check out our new digs. I've learned Maya heals like a club fighter. She even hugged me somewhat recently. And she wanted me to tell y'all she's rockin' and rollin' like never before. We may even buy a new trike sometime soon. Of course, it will be one that only works on the flat until she's 16. If it ain't been invented yet, I'll make it. That's the kind of Dad I am.
Hope your own guilty moments do nothing to diminish the beauty of the opening Weekend of the NFL Season. Rock on.
We've got a new house that we adore already. Maya's hit the ground running at full speed, which in this was part of the foreshadowed problem. She adores the backyard/back deck/sandbox, and sleeps like a drunken hippie in her new room. 'Nuff said 'bout that. But we're also in that crazy mode of organizing that requires certain moments of poor parenting. Cough. As in Wednesday afternoon when I was trying to put things into our garage storage space while Maya played in front on her tricycle on our slanted driveway. Bear in mind, we've begun to see an adventurousness in her demeanor that wasn't really in full bloom until rather recently. So picture me fully distracted sorting out a few decades worth of camping equipment and untenable luggage. And Maya pushing her trike up the incline of the driveway. And then mounting said trike. And pushing off. Rumble rumble CRAAAASH! Scream! Picture me instantaneously expecting the Seattle Police or Child Protective Services EMTs being dispatched to our house. Blood. Cedar bark everywhere. Sadness. And...scene.
So here's the good news - Maya's fine. Better than fine, she's undamaged. She drove her renegade crotchrocket into the landscaping just off the otherwise more ominous concrete driveway. I felt like the worst Dad EVER for a few days, hence the posting lag. But she's healed amazingly well. A bloodied and abrased nose, no broken teeth, no permanent scars, no lawsuits. Yet. She is pretty young to be appropriately lashing out, after all. Still, I had a ringer up my sleeve that had nothing to do with Larry Craig's lawyers. Maya's grandparents and aunties arrived in the days after "The Crash" on a pre-scheduled visit to check out our new digs. I've learned Maya heals like a club fighter. She even hugged me somewhat recently. And she wanted me to tell y'all she's rockin' and rollin' like never before. We may even buy a new trike sometime soon. Of course, it will be one that only works on the flat until she's 16. If it ain't been invented yet, I'll make it. That's the kind of Dad I am.
Hope your own guilty moments do nothing to diminish the beauty of the opening Weekend of the NFL Season. Rock on.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
My "intent" is to name my third child Favre
For today at least, undeniably disgraced Senator Larry Craig is testing the waters of a continued perp walk in his seat. Anyone who denies that politicians parse their words as carefully as legally possible should listen to this dandy that Roll Call rolled out today. The operative word is "intent" - as in, "my intent is to weasel out of this if everyone gets distracted by the September debate over Iraq and my wife doesn't snip off a testicle." It appears Ol' Wide Lair doesn't program numbers into his cell phone. Point blank - the Dems are praying that he's stupid enough to fight for his reputation. And it appears that stupid does strike more often in one place than lightning.
At long last, Oprah is getting serious about taking over the Nation. Thank gawd. If anyone can add some luster to a surprisingly buzz-free Barack Obama, it's this American Hero. Respect the "Oprah bounce". And, no, I'm not talking to you, Tom Cruise.
The NFL Season starts tomorrow night. I'm sure you've also got goosebumps by just saying that. I fully expect my Green Bay Packers to be sucking a middle teet somewhere out of the headlines aside from the magical Favre Farewell Tour sequel. Regardless, set your Tivos, call your bookies and kiss your kids goodbye for a few months worth of weekends.
Hope your own pre-season roster cuts left you with all the pieces necessary for a serious run toward the playoffs. Rock on.
At long last, Oprah is getting serious about taking over the Nation. Thank gawd. If anyone can add some luster to a surprisingly buzz-free Barack Obama, it's this American Hero. Respect the "Oprah bounce". And, no, I'm not talking to you, Tom Cruise.
The NFL Season starts tomorrow night. I'm sure you've also got goosebumps by just saying that. I fully expect my Green Bay Packers to be sucking a middle teet somewhere out of the headlines aside from the magical Favre Farewell Tour sequel. Regardless, set your Tivos, call your bookies and kiss your kids goodbye for a few months worth of weekends.
Hope your own pre-season roster cuts left you with all the pieces necessary for a serious run toward the playoffs. Rock on.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
But I'd bet he could still block a few of Rick Rossovich's spikes these days...
There's nothing more depressing than seeing into the frat house basement of Dubya's brain. Yet Robert Draper's book "Dead Certain" that plunges us all down that deep, dark stairwell arrives on the scene today. I guarantee y'all that it's being almost immediately added to my loyal Bushie bashing canon of reality-based books on the shelf in my new office. For the time being, throw up in your own mouths just a bit by reading the excerpts featuring today on Slate after a weekend worth of major paper foreshadowing. My fave thus far - Dubya riffing that he "understands the enemy watches me, the Iraqis are watching me, the troops watch me, and the people watch me." Yes, we do. And what a sight you are to behold.
As to the flyby PR stunt that was Dubya's visit to Iraq yesterday, I'll give the spectacle a middling C-minus rating. We all know the pushback from the Petraeus pseudo-report was due to start early. This just smells like a huge waste of cash and newsprint. If Dubya wanted to impress the troops at this point in the debacle I think he'd need to stage a beach volleyball showdown a la "Top Gun" with a greased up Goose as he showed Ice Man how good he looks out of his flight suit. Speaking of which, Dubya showed up wearing black on a sweltering afternoon in the desert. Do you trust this man's judgment?
And to complete the Iraq trifecta of observations for the day, Tom Davis (R-VA) is my official weathervane in this entire debate of just how we figure out the way to subtly cut and run away like banshees. For those paying WAY too much attention, Sen. John Warner announced on Friday his intention to not seek re-election. Everyone expects Tom Davis, who is a snotty little neocon if there ever was one in the House, to run for the GOP nomination. Well, lookie lookie - Tom Davis is calling for an exit strategy just prior to the Bushies pushing for a stay the course policy. September is gonna get girls gone wild nasty on this debate. Tom Davis is the first one to take his shirt off. Whatever that mixed metaphor means. Just keep an eye on him. Or let me do so, and check back.
Hope your own low-fat chef-prepared lunch menus will NEVER lead you to choose the hot dog. Rock on.
As to the flyby PR stunt that was Dubya's visit to Iraq yesterday, I'll give the spectacle a middling C-minus rating. We all know the pushback from the Petraeus pseudo-report was due to start early. This just smells like a huge waste of cash and newsprint. If Dubya wanted to impress the troops at this point in the debacle I think he'd need to stage a beach volleyball showdown a la "Top Gun" with a greased up Goose as he showed Ice Man how good he looks out of his flight suit. Speaking of which, Dubya showed up wearing black on a sweltering afternoon in the desert. Do you trust this man's judgment?
And to complete the Iraq trifecta of observations for the day, Tom Davis (R-VA) is my official weathervane in this entire debate of just how we figure out the way to subtly cut and run away like banshees. For those paying WAY too much attention, Sen. John Warner announced on Friday his intention to not seek re-election. Everyone expects Tom Davis, who is a snotty little neocon if there ever was one in the House, to run for the GOP nomination. Well, lookie lookie - Tom Davis is calling for an exit strategy just prior to the Bushies pushing for a stay the course policy. September is gonna get girls gone wild nasty on this debate. Tom Davis is the first one to take his shirt off. Whatever that mixed metaphor means. Just keep an eye on him. Or let me do so, and check back.
Hope your own low-fat chef-prepared lunch menus will NEVER lead you to choose the hot dog. Rock on.
Friday, August 31, 2007
"Attention: Representative Whatshisface likes the BeeGees and once smoked a clove with a dwarf in Prague. YOU WERE WARNED."
Tough Friday news dump for the GOP. White House Press Secretary Tony Snow's resigning, Sen. Larry Craig is hanging on by a thread lit from both ends, Sen. John Warner's out of the race for his guaranteed re-election in '08, and it's not even the close of bizness on the East Coast. I hope someone's told Dubya his Party's ending while he clears brush or plans for Jenna's nups or whatever is on top of his agenda in Crawford. But if I held the briefing book, here are two oddballs I'd throw into the mix.
I'm currently shaped much more like my linebacker days, but I was also a competitive runner. Mitt Romney's no competitive runner. His new ad has more heavy breathing and odd pacing than geriatric porn. Watch it if you've over 21. Or rather, don't. He's such a fraud we shouldn't encourage further virility spoofs on his part.
The WashingtonPost today buried a little gem from the Green Zone in Baghdad that I'm sure will lead to a much larger story on the spin we'll be seeing over the next few months. Obviously, soldiers are being given bios of visiting Congresspersons to shade the stories told. Or maybe this is just part of a grander plan to encourage spitting in the food of certain dignitaries. It's a brief story, but so so damn worth reading. September will be a cloudy shitestorm of empty debate wrapped in a monstrous styrofoam layer of inpenatrable lies covered in truth-retardant goo. Just like Catholic school. Hey, don't blame me - I was raised a Methodist.
Hope your Labor Day weekend is heavy on the weekend, light on the labor. Rock on.
I'm currently shaped much more like my linebacker days, but I was also a competitive runner. Mitt Romney's no competitive runner. His new ad has more heavy breathing and odd pacing than geriatric porn. Watch it if you've over 21. Or rather, don't. He's such a fraud we shouldn't encourage further virility spoofs on his part.
The WashingtonPost today buried a little gem from the Green Zone in Baghdad that I'm sure will lead to a much larger story on the spin we'll be seeing over the next few months. Obviously, soldiers are being given bios of visiting Congresspersons to shade the stories told. Or maybe this is just part of a grander plan to encourage spitting in the food of certain dignitaries. It's a brief story, but so so damn worth reading. September will be a cloudy shitestorm of empty debate wrapped in a monstrous styrofoam layer of inpenatrable lies covered in truth-retardant goo. Just like Catholic school. Hey, don't blame me - I was raised a Methodist.
Hope your Labor Day weekend is heavy on the weekend, light on the labor. Rock on.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Infinitely more satisfying than a KFC "failure pile in a sadness bowl"
I'm a big fan of Keith Olbermann. His "Countdown" is the best news show on the TeeVee, bar none. He calls out everyone on their rank hypocrises. And does it with flair. Blah blah blah. But what one of his producers did last night with the Larry Craig shamefest reached a new level of virtuosity. Watch it. Now.
One quickie review - Patton Oswalt is my favorite comedian. He's smart, surprising, perfectly-timed, my age and he did volunteer performing/fundraising work with 826 Valencia in San Francisco where I also volunteered. His latest comedy album has been my default CD in the car for the last few weeks. "Werewolves and Lollipops" is not for the easily offended, of which I am certainly not one. My rating - a solid A. Not since Steve Martin's comedy albums loomed large in my pre-teen years have I replayed comedy this often to gauge the timing and intellect of the delivery. Seriously. Buy it. Now.
Hope your own wide stance is productive today. Rock on.
One quickie review - Patton Oswalt is my favorite comedian. He's smart, surprising, perfectly-timed, my age and he did volunteer performing/fundraising work with 826 Valencia in San Francisco where I also volunteered. His latest comedy album has been my default CD in the car for the last few weeks. "Werewolves and Lollipops" is not for the easily offended, of which I am certainly not one. My rating - a solid A. Not since Steve Martin's comedy albums loomed large in my pre-teen years have I replayed comedy this often to gauge the timing and intellect of the delivery. Seriously. Buy it. Now.
Hope your own wide stance is productive today. Rock on.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Never forget
As the bleak anniversary of the debacle short-handed as Katrina is overly spun, I hope we all take a minute to cut through the PR blitz. Make that two minutes if you watch this often overlooked piece from the BBC. Dubya should be chased down those now vacant streets in so many areas of New Orleans by a rampaging crowd with pitchforks.
Hope your own levees aren't topped today. Rock on.
Hope your own levees aren't topped today. Rock on.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Focusing on the trees 'cause the forest scares the crap out of me
Gonzo's gone. So? Screw that guy. The only ones that lose in this overdue turn from that infamous worm are the people that dedicated their lives to the Justice Department and the larger practice of protecting the Constitution. But who cares - it's August so let's get straight to the tabloid crap!
If you haven't yet seen the stunning and stunningly dumb Miss Teen South Carolina's answer to an utterly inane question at the pagent, you obviously have a life. But put that aside for a minute and revel in the syrupy stink of too much time spent putting on makeup, not enough time reading anything other that Nutrasweet packaging.
Sadly, Owen Wilson appears to have had a breakdown that according to his publicists certainly couldn't have been a desperate cry for help. I say sadly because I honestly find him to be a talented actor and writer. In personal terms, I had the distinct pleasure of meeting his parents in Dallas at my neighborhood coffeeshop the day after "Shanghai Noon" opened. Sarah and I'd seen it just the night before and loved it. His Mom was wearing a shirt festooned with the movie's title and when I asked about it they practically burst into song describing Owen and Luke and Andrew and their seemingly bastard son Wes. They were the sort of parents that made you instantly believe breeders can't be all bad. I've never forgotten that 15-minute conversation and I've joked of it often to friends and family since. Here's hoping that Owen gets real healthy real soon. Rock on.
If you haven't yet seen the stunning and stunningly dumb Miss Teen South Carolina's answer to an utterly inane question at the pagent, you obviously have a life. But put that aside for a minute and revel in the syrupy stink of too much time spent putting on makeup, not enough time reading anything other that Nutrasweet packaging.
Sadly, Owen Wilson appears to have had a breakdown that according to his publicists certainly couldn't have been a desperate cry for help. I say sadly because I honestly find him to be a talented actor and writer. In personal terms, I had the distinct pleasure of meeting his parents in Dallas at my neighborhood coffeeshop the day after "Shanghai Noon" opened. Sarah and I'd seen it just the night before and loved it. His Mom was wearing a shirt festooned with the movie's title and when I asked about it they practically burst into song describing Owen and Luke and Andrew and their seemingly bastard son Wes. They were the sort of parents that made you instantly believe breeders can't be all bad. I've never forgotten that 15-minute conversation and I've joked of it often to friends and family since. Here's hoping that Owen gets real healthy real soon. Rock on.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Could become this beauty.
After only a few thousand profanities and a few dozen threats to throw the whole operation over the edge of the deck, we be grillin'. Please feel free to invite yourself over for a demonstration of our new platform's mastery.
Friday, August 24, 2007
The grill awaits, yet I'm still here...
I'm way off my usual game. New house distractions abound. And for those that have voiced discontent in my intermittent posting, I agree. I am losing focus. So before I put together our new grill (!!!), I want to weigh in on a few issues...
Dubya's speech to the VFW this week was without overstatement THE BIGGEST TRAVESTY IN THE HISTORY OF REVISIONISM. As the most famous draft dodger in the history of our Nation, you'd think he'd shy away from trying to tell us what we all missed in that debacle. In all honesty, I've been so pissed about his speech that I've purposely not posted anything the last few days. So at least he's got that going for him.
Robert Murray (the disgraceful coal baron that has had more underserved media exposure than a boatload of Paris Hiltons) is about to be served up like a retreat-mined turkey. This guy had me mad at "hello". And as soon as you can say "heckuva job, Brownie" the recess appointment of Richard Stickler is looking like yet another moment where all Americans should be shaking not only their heads in reaction to what the loyal Bushies are doing to phuck with everything before their last 17 months in power are left to History to deride. Speaking of which, it's now legal to blow up mountains in Appallacia and let the crap rain down on the rivers. Woo-whee!
Michael Vick should hereafter be doomed to starring in "The Longest Yard" sequels. He'll have time enough to do a bundle.
For those looking for reviews, here's a few quickies. "The Simpsons" was hilarious, but at best a solid B. "Mad Men" is far and away the best new show on the TeeVee (solid A rating). The Milwaukee Brewers are lovable but should be almost unassailably doomed were it not for the collective crappiness of the Cubs and Cards. Barack Obama is becoming the shallowest man in politics (although I still support him). The newly downsized NYTimes is too small for me to read comfortably on an elliptical trainer at the gym, so it sucks. And even though the American real estate market is more phucked than Lindsay Lohan's insurability, we love our new home. Hope y'all can visit sometime soon, if you call ahead and get a cavity search. Rock on.
Dubya's speech to the VFW this week was without overstatement THE BIGGEST TRAVESTY IN THE HISTORY OF REVISIONISM. As the most famous draft dodger in the history of our Nation, you'd think he'd shy away from trying to tell us what we all missed in that debacle. In all honesty, I've been so pissed about his speech that I've purposely not posted anything the last few days. So at least he's got that going for him.
Robert Murray (the disgraceful coal baron that has had more underserved media exposure than a boatload of Paris Hiltons) is about to be served up like a retreat-mined turkey. This guy had me mad at "hello". And as soon as you can say "heckuva job, Brownie" the recess appointment of Richard Stickler is looking like yet another moment where all Americans should be shaking not only their heads in reaction to what the loyal Bushies are doing to phuck with everything before their last 17 months in power are left to History to deride. Speaking of which, it's now legal to blow up mountains in Appallacia and let the crap rain down on the rivers. Woo-whee!
Michael Vick should hereafter be doomed to starring in "The Longest Yard" sequels. He'll have time enough to do a bundle.
For those looking for reviews, here's a few quickies. "The Simpsons" was hilarious, but at best a solid B. "Mad Men" is far and away the best new show on the TeeVee (solid A rating). The Milwaukee Brewers are lovable but should be almost unassailably doomed were it not for the collective crappiness of the Cubs and Cards. Barack Obama is becoming the shallowest man in politics (although I still support him). The newly downsized NYTimes is too small for me to read comfortably on an elliptical trainer at the gym, so it sucks. And even though the American real estate market is more phucked than Lindsay Lohan's insurability, we love our new home. Hope y'all can visit sometime soon, if you call ahead and get a cavity search. Rock on.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Jenna, Karl and Maya - to hereafter never be linked again
Wow. August. Who knew so much could happen while Dubya was on another vacation. For those playing catch-up, here's a spare few notes from just the last few days.
Jenna Bush is engaged. To this tool. So the surge is working.
Karl Rove left D.C. to spend more time screwing up his family's future.
And our darling Maya is diggin' her new digs. So my vacation from regular posting is over. Basically. Well, after we head down to Santa Barbara this weekend for a wedding. Maya's psyched to make a sandcastle on the beach. I'm psyched to take a break from unpacking boxes. And I hope y'all are psyched that the fall is right around the corner. Rock on.
Jenna Bush is engaged. To this tool. So the surge is working.
Karl Rove left D.C. to spend more time screwing up his family's future.
And our darling Maya is diggin' her new digs. So my vacation from regular posting is over. Basically. Well, after we head down to Santa Barbara this weekend for a wedding. Maya's psyched to make a sandcastle on the beach. I'm psyched to take a break from unpacking boxes. And I hope y'all are psyched that the fall is right around the corner. Rock on.Thursday, August 02, 2007
A bridge back to a happier past...
For those paying attention, I've taken a few weeks off from regular posting. Miss me? No worries - we just bought a house and are in the process of moving with every intention of setting down some serious roots in our new neighborhood. Not that the unaddressed interim news hasn't had my attention - Gonzo's inexplicable flailing, the YouTube Dems debate and the upcoming GOP dodge of the same forum, Lindsay Lohan one-upping Britney and Paris, endless crapitutity from those dwindling loyal Bushies. But I must say that there's only one story on my radar today - that horrible bridge collapse in Minneapolis. I got my B.A. from the University of Minnesota. I walked or rode my bike across the Mississippi on what seems like every day I lived in Minneapolis. None of my friends still living back there were on the collapsed bridge at the moment of tragedy. Everyone's obviously still too stunned to be angry. But I guarantee you that stage is just around the corner. I will be posting info soon for those looking to investigate their own locale's infrastructure. Because, obviously, we can't trust our government to do it for us.
Hope your own survivor stories today revolve around hot dog eating contests. Rock on.
Hope your own survivor stories today revolve around hot dog eating contests. Rock on.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
"Firestono!"
With the World in such a freefall spin, one thing I hope we all can agree on is that car repair is utter crap. We can get second opinions on anything that will cost us more than 50 bucks. But call bullshite on a mechanic and you're a communist. Essentially. This "can't we all get along" rant comes from the point of view of someone waiting all morning on a basic brake job. Advertised by Firestone as $190. Surreptiously upgraded to $303 with an extra year's warranty. On a brake job. Oh, and they thought that since my brake fluid was "contaminated" that I should spend another $85. Ahem. I'll pay $190, thank you very much. And I'll be sure to let y'all know hereafter what Firestone has to say about my communism.
Just so everyone ignores the impression that I'm alone in jousting with corporate windmills, you owe it to yourself to watch Michael Moore eviscerate Wolf Blitzer yesterday. We've not yet seen "Sicko" and I'm sorry about that fact given my willingness to promote the film. Yet Mr. Moore appears to be the only man in America currently able to secure "LIVE!" airtime to question the ridiculous charges leveled at him. It's a long clip, but entirely worth it. Please watch.
Hope you all find a pleasant moment to be outraged today. Rock on.
Just so everyone ignores the impression that I'm alone in jousting with corporate windmills, you owe it to yourself to watch Michael Moore eviscerate Wolf Blitzer yesterday. We've not yet seen "Sicko" and I'm sorry about that fact given my willingness to promote the film. Yet Mr. Moore appears to be the only man in America currently able to secure "LIVE!" airtime to question the ridiculous charges leveled at him. It's a long clip, but entirely worth it. Please watch.
Hope you all find a pleasant moment to be outraged today. Rock on.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
"After long deliberation with my closest advisers, I've decided that I should move on and clear some brush..."
I'm prepping to take some time off from blogging given the expected craziness of the upcoming month. But I simply can't sit idly by without offering my brief shot at the Scooter Libby commutation granted by Dubya. Plainly, no one's satisfied. Nutjob conservatives are bitching about their outrageous claim that he should have been pardoned. Everyone else can't understand why an "excessive" sentence translates to "no time served" in Dubya's view of assessing a felony conviction. Where I fall is firmly upon this point - Dubya screwed it up embarrassingly, once again. If he'd pardoned him sooner or later, it would be defensible. Wrong, but defensible. If Dubya had chosen any other course of action imaginable, it would be somehow defensible. Still wrong, but you get my point. So what Dubya chose was the utterly wrongest wrong in the whole panorama. He praises the prosecutor, stands by the jury's ruling, and then throws the whole process under the bus. That's Dubya. Always wrong, never in doubt. I can't wait for the "history will judge" wheels to start turning. Oh wait...they've already begun doing so. Worst. President. Ever. Period.
Hope your own pre-Fourth of July deliberations deal entirely with beef versus fowl. Rock on.
Hope your own pre-Fourth of July deliberations deal entirely with beef versus fowl. Rock on.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
"A Mighty Heart" is a minor effort
I'll admit going into the new Angelina Jolie flick, "A Mighty Heart", hoping for a stunner. Instead, it was much smaller and much less engaging than I'd expected. My rating - a bland C-plus. Jolie is wonderful - passionate, controlled, with a flawless accent and complete command of the screen. Some of the surrounding cast is also quite good, although Dan Futterman as the doomed Daniel Pearl is at best a cardboard cutout who seems to have gotten the job because he looks like Pearl's clone. But this is one to wait to rent. Which is really too bad because it will probably disappear from public view with little more than a whisper of respect. This tragic story deserves much more attention. It just feels way too early to have gone after this story on film.
We head back to Seattle this evening after a wonderful week in Santa Barbara. The weather has been unparalleled in it's beauty. Warm, dry, clear days stacked up one after another. But like much of the country this time of year, drought is leading to the threat of a tough fire season. Last night after a artful, killer meal at Emilio's (my sentimental favorite restaurant here for a long list of reasons), we went back to my in-laws house just in time to catch the moonrise. A wildfire many miles away filled the air with a burnt smell and cast the just past full moon with the most stunning bright orange glow. I can't recall ever seeing anything like it. It looked like Mars, surrounded by a halo of ochre clouds. How sad it is to appreciate a view due to forest fires in the unseen distance. Yet how hauntingly beautiful it was.
Hope your own views are beautifully guilt-free. Rock on.
We head back to Seattle this evening after a wonderful week in Santa Barbara. The weather has been unparalleled in it's beauty. Warm, dry, clear days stacked up one after another. But like much of the country this time of year, drought is leading to the threat of a tough fire season. Last night after a artful, killer meal at Emilio's (my sentimental favorite restaurant here for a long list of reasons), we went back to my in-laws house just in time to catch the moonrise. A wildfire many miles away filled the air with a burnt smell and cast the just past full moon with the most stunning bright orange glow. I can't recall ever seeing anything like it. It looked like Mars, surrounded by a halo of ochre clouds. How sad it is to appreciate a view due to forest fires in the unseen distance. Yet how hauntingly beautiful it was.
Hope your own views are beautifully guilt-free. Rock on.
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