Monday, September 01, 2008

Hurricane Bristol hits the radar

There's literally no way for me to understate how bad a pick I believe Sarah Palin is/was/will be in retrospect. Because I guarantee each and every one of you that she is out. The question I expect John McCain to hear re-spun at every turn until the Palins are thrown under the bus on the way back to Alaska is obviously as follows:

"Did you know that your pick for Vice President had an unmarried 17-year-old daughter who was 5 months pregnant when you introduced them to the Nation last Friday?"

Good luck with that whole "every child is a miracle" spin. Any teen pregnancy is an unfortunate turn of events. Unless, of course, you're a member of a barren royal family living prior to the 19th Century. Or a member of a polygamist sect trying to repopulate rural Texas. Seriously people - this is the Governor/mother/woman you want a heartbeat away from the most powerful job on the planet? She was willing to put her 17-year-old daughter through this inevitable onslaught of coverage? Or maybe she thought the world wouldn't figure it out (wink, wink)? Unbelievable. One thing's for sure, though. Dan Quayle's karmic stock rose more today than any time since 1992. Not. The. Worst. Pick. Ever...Anymore.

One quick review - Sarah and I saw "Tropic Thunder" last night. I'm always skeptical when it comes to parody. I've seen a wide range of reviews. But here's what you need to know - it's hilarious. Tom Cruise's extended cameo steals the show (if you don't laugh watching him dance over the closing credits, you have no soul). Robert Downey Jr. is hugely entertaining. The "full retard" joke that got some groups all steamed is one of the funniest conceits in recent years. Yes, yes - I get the whole "Hollywood satirizing itself is soooo over" meme. My rating is nonetheless a rare A-minus. Check your ability to be offended at the door. And soak up the silliness.

Hope your own barren ranch is within an hour of your overly-hyped disaster planning bunker today. Rock on.


Bob said...

Am I the only person who reads these things? ;) Anyway, I STILL think that Bristol already had a baby (Trig (stupidest name ever)) and that she is eiher pregnant again (perhaps 2 months pregnant) or that after the election we will be receiving word that, oh its soooo sad, Bristol lost the baby. And the election too please God. Keep spinning the web Alaskans. After all, if they could play politics with the big boys, wouldn't they be in the continental U.S.
I'd also like to say that if Obama does win in Nov, does that mean God likes him better than the republicans?
I emailed God but he hasn't gotten back to me yet.

bobbus451 said...

No, Bob, you're not the only person who comments here.
I'll go you one better: if Obama wins (which he will, book it), does that mean God is African-American? I believe it does mean that, so the wingnuts will have to adjust their bizarro sliding scale (black unmarried mother = Welfare Queen; White unmarried mother = heartwarming conservative family narrative of triumphalist drilling in ANWR) a few chits to the left. But then, being the wingnut sliding scale, it probably will have nothing to do with the laws of Physics.