Saying goodbye is toughest because I finally vacuumed her a few weeks ago...

Have you ever had a car that you thought would live forever? Let's say you never even named it because you were sure that you had plenty of time to bond in the future and on some cross-country drive it would speak to you at 2am and say "Call me Lucinda" or "Cheever" or "Mr. Mustache"? That was the relationship I had with our Volvo. !80K miles, no accidents, stints in California, Texas, Vermont, Washington and all points in between. I can't take credit for our Volvo - my wife brought it into our relationship. However, now I'll always be a Volvo guy. Yet as of yesterday, I've been told that we need to start seeing other people. See, our Volvo has a blown head gasket. The water and oil and the dairy and the meat or something are combining and we're done. A new engine would be throwing away money. Lots of money. Thankfully, I've got the most honest mechanic I'd ever imagined breaking the news to our shell-shocked family. I'd love to honor it by driving our Volvo off a cliff into the Columbia River or send it out to sea on an ice flow. But apparently that's not legal now that Obama's in control.

Sarah was out of town with Maya for a long weekend, during which I caught a few flicks. I can't say that I was blown away by anything I saw. "The Wrestler" is barely a B-plus, largely thanks to Marisa Tomei (rawr!). "Frost/Nixon" is a weak B, mainly due to overeager expectations on my part. "Milk" was a reluctant B, because I found myself fondly remembering Gus Van Sant's much better "My Own Private Idaho" at a number of times during the film. All in all, any of the trio is a million times better than last summer's "Indiana Jones". Then again, flat beer and stale pretzels served in a shoe are also exponentially better than that turkey.

Hope your own car earns a tender hug and an oil change today. Rock on.

A day for all of us to celebrate

Everyone's doing their best today to make sense of the superlatives. Historic. Inspiring. Global. Humbling. Today Barack Obama takes over from the worst Prezidunt in the history of our Nation. As the festivities were unfolding live, I was enjoying my favorite part of the day - getting Maya ready for "school" @ the JCC. We walked this morning through an uncharacteristic Seattle fog bank (our car's in the shop, so to speak). Well, I walked. Maya skipped. I coached her on why this was a big day. She thereafter perfectly pronounced "Barack Obama's Inauguaration". Call me what you will, but if you're a committed liberal that hears that from your child...well, a few loving tears are required. After I got it together as we entered the JCC, we found all of Maya's classmates and many parents gathered in a darkened room watching the festivities in DC that at that moment was the swearing in of Joe Biden. I didn't want to watch just part so I told Maya I was going home to watch there. After we hugged she told me "have fun at the Inauguration". Once again perfectly pronounced. You can imagine that I booked out of there before any of the other parents saw what a soft-shell crab I actually am.

Anyhoo, I'll do a bit of "not-quite-live" blogging now that I'm nestled in front of the TiVo. I'm using MSNBC for my network of record. Seriously.

MSNBC just commentated that former President George H.W. Bush is "walking old". Lay off the dood - he looks great. And, yes, he's at least 100 years young.

They have "The Speech" in the hands of the networks. But it is "embargoed". How many people in "Real America" do you think know what that means?

Hillary and Bill look like they each just swallowed half of a bug.

Chris Matthews just opined that Bill Clinton has such obvious affection for George the Elder because Bubba never had a father. Really? Wow, would I love to be in the room when a therapist floats that theory to the former President.

Cut to the moving vans outside the White House. There's the "change we can believe in".

Back to the Obama girls. They are simply the cutest kids on the planet.

Lynne Cheney appears to be wearing a fur collar. Laura Bush appears to be wearing a smile that would frighten the dead.

Michelle Obama and Jill Biden are the sort of women that everyone can admire.

People are booing Dubya as his image came up on the screens. Not surprising. But sad on some level. Especially because it stepped on Michelle's arrival on the platform.

CHENEY IN A WHEELCHAIR! The official story is that he hurt his back "moving boxes" for their departure. You heard it here first - he shot himself in the foot. Which, oddly enough, is an improvement.

Joe Biden is having more fun than anyone on the planet today. With nearly the least responsibility of anyone on the planet, as well. For the moment.

Barack Obama descending to the Inaugural Platform was the coolest crowd pass I've ever seen. But that guy's nervous.

Rick Warren. Um, this is awkward to criticize. He did an awesome job with limited weirdness. But he's still too evangelical for my taste.

Aretha Franklin showed off one of the greatest hats in the history of hats. But I expect that Re-Re had a bit too much emotion flowing to make this one of her greatest performances. Incredibly good, nonetheless.

John Paul Stevens is the cutest old guy on the planet. Joe Biden I think even called him "Mr. President" at the end of the oath of office. Biden - I'm tellin' ya, that guy's having fun today.

Birds are circling over the classical quartet interlude. Why is Robert Gibbs (Obama's Press Secretary) sitting behind them?

Chief Justice John Roberts I believe purposely messed up the wording of the oath. Maybe he was nervous. But I can't wait to see what the wall-to-wall dooshy-class makes of a few humble stumbles on President Obama's part. After all, Obama voted against Roberts' confirmation.

And now...the speech.

Once he gets speaking, there ain't nothing that can hold this man back.

I'll just enjoy and comment later. I hope y'all also soak up this larger than life day the way it was intended - as a celebration.

Sully, you da mahn!

Just what our Nation needed - an inspiring story not about Obama. Of course I'm talking about that plane doing a water landing on the Hudson River. The pilot just plain stuck the landing perfectly with two engines disabled by birds. Everyone got out OK. Reporters have had a collective boner for 12 hours. The on-the-scene accounts are vivid. I expect it will play out for days to come. And then comes the Inauguaration. Buh Bye Dubya parties across the globe. Good news does a great deal to warm even the coldest forecast.

Hope you didn't also wake up to 34-below-zero this morning. Rock on.

School canceled because of a forecast? What is this? Seattle?

For those that wonder just where I went, it's back to Wisconsin. I'll be here in the deep freeze through Saturday. This morning at my parents house it was more than twenty-below-zero. Even the toughest of the old guard appear somewhat bothered by this degree of cold. The schools closed here on the threat of cold. Which shocked me. You can't really get outside much, but the warm seems even moreso and more worth lingering for a bit. I'm out in it, driving around my latest hilarious rental car. A bright yellow new VW Beetle. I should be a 20-year-old sorority pledge chair. And in the snow, the yellow's all the more warming for the locals. Every time I've driven by an ice fishing village, the outside-the-shack lingerers always give me at least one shocked arm-point with what I imagine a shout-out of "look at that thing, why doncha!" This morning I'm in the nearest town with free WiFi - Medford. At an uncommonly cool cafe` for a town this size. This place could be in almost any arty or college-friendly place - Boulder, Burlington, Eugene, Ann Arbor. Pretty big props for a town of a few thousand. Uncommon Ground (horribly usual name, but good use of "Ground" not "Grounds") - my rating A-minus.

I'll get back to more regular posting around the Inauguralpalooza when I'm back in Seattle. Hope your own defroster works today. Rock on.

2008 YearEnder

On the 4th Anniversary of this Blog, I'll give y'all a hearty taste of the YearEnder that I send to friends and family. Merry Merry 2009 to all.
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2008 – The Year in Politics
This YearEnder establishes a new feature. My “YearEnder PoliTicker” – a gauge of various folk that floated through the political mainstream in ’08, viewed through a thoroughly unscientific stock-picking mechanism. Invest wisely based upon these recommendations. And please bear in mind that almost all stock-picking shtick is shallow, confusing and utter nonsense. Kinda like anything you might hear on CNBC or its mutant twins on any given day.
- Barack Obama (HOLD) – he was the Man of the Year and the biggest political story of our generation. But with what he’s facing, I’d sit on the Hope you’ve already got at least through 2009.
- Joe Biden (BUY) – the anti-Cheney will soon become a surprisingly necessary asset to keep the Cabinet in check. And now that he won’t be taking the train back to Delaware every weeknight, expect the Bidens to be all up in the grill of the DC social scene.
- Hillary Clinton (HOLD) – the perks that come with being Secretary of State are huge. Hillary's stock peaked well over a year ago. But she's one to HOLD for the long run that she surely thinks still ain't over yet.
- John McCain (SELL) – he’s been a gracious loser, but this campaign kicked the crap out of his infamous stamina. Going back to the Senate as a gelding Republican sounds about as much fun as heading to San Francisco as a young Mormon missionary to knock on doors in the Castro.
- George W. Bush (BUY) – most believe that he couldn’t possibly head anywhere but further down down down. But near the end of the 2009, I expect there will be a retro movement to bring him out of mothballs. What’s a satirical society without a disgraced figure to chuck a few shoes at? Call this a risky BUY, but one worth adding to your portfolio. Besides, it's an extremely cheap BUY.
- Sarah Palin (SELL) – she’s now a different type of GILF (Grandmother, rather than Governor). Look for a concerted effort within her own Party to trash Grannie Palin. After all, everyone secretly hates a Beauty Queen. Even in Wasilla. Dump her stock while you still can.
- Nancy Pelosi (HOLD) – I love Nancy. But she’s been frustratingly ineffective. She needs to go public with the vitriolic bitchiness I know she’s been hiding. Don’t be surprised if it happens. But don’t hold your breath.
- Harry Reid (BUY) – I don’t love Harry. He’s been totally ineffective. But he used to be a boxer. If Senator Al Franken manages to get under his skin, Harry just might come out swinging this Year. Take the risk and get a bit o’ Harry.
- Mike Huckabee (BUY) – amazingly, SkinnyHuck is making the BigBucks. He’s charming, funny and a complete disaster on the issues. In other words, he’s golden on FOX News. BUY by the bushel.
- Mitt Romney (SELL) – the only politician actively campaigning for 2012. He will become a fixture on cable news to deliver the Republican’s single talking point on the economy (“it’s Obama’s fault”). Dump all your Romney. A share of him is more toxic than a bushel of Lieberman.
- Elliot Spitzer (BUY) – being an alleged do-gooder publicly disgraced by a stunning prostitute isn’t the most inglorious way to end a political career. After all, Spitz is already writing a column for “Slate” about ethics. Expect that rebranding to expand. It won’t be long before he’s all over the place, being considered a big brain with tragic insight. Especially after Ashley Dupre` breaks down and does her overdue million-dollar nude spread for a greasy porn mag in the next handful of months.
- Rod Blagojevich (SELL) – if ever there was a guy prepped to tell a reporter to “BLEEP off” during a live press conference, it’s Blago. He’s managed to go from tragedy to comedy right back to tragedy again. If life was a Scorsese film, he’d already have been popped. Essentially a penny stock. Still, dump all your Blago and remove guilt by association from your portfolio.

2008 in a Snapshot
- The worldwide economic meltdown. Massive housing depreciation. The collapsing American auto industry. A shady $700B Wall Street bailout. Unemployment spikes during the biggest hiring season of the Year. Gas and oil prices boomerang all over the place. Anarchy in the credit markets. Where will it end? No, seriously – I’m asking. Where does it end? Ba dump bum.
- The Detroit Lions managed to further depress Detroit unlike anything since the last Bob Seger reunion tour.
- Alaska and Hawaii were finally noticed the year before their 50th anniversaries of Statehood by the traveling campaign press corps. Which assignment do you think was more sought after? (Hint: pack a bikini, not a parka).
- Among those that passed away this Year were three of my personal favorite people – Paul Newman, George Carlin and Tim Russert. They will be missed.
- William Ayers and Joe the Plumber entered the political lexicon. One by slander, one by inexplicable ego.
- David Letterman showed just how funny he can still be when he piled on McCain’s imploding campaign.
- Robert Downey Jr. had more fun than anyone on the planet.
- Larry Craig's "wide stance" ruined a perfectly good bathroom in the Twin Cities airport.

Comeback of the Year
Pirates. No, not the Pittsburgh ones.

Quote of the Year
“That one.”

Trend of the Year
Vampires – Stephanie Meyer’s “Twilight”, HBO’s “True Blood”, Vampire Weekend (my runner-up for Album of the Year), Tom Cruise’s rise from the dead only to return again to his crypt after the failure of “Valkarie”. The undead were everywhere. And I’m bloody sick of it.

A Few Picks for the Best o’ ‘08
- Movies - There are loads of new films I’ve not yet seen. But “Slumdog Millionaire” was the best movie I saw all year. I consider it the single most hopeful, romantic, allegorical story to counter the terrible tragedy that Mumbai suffered recently in real life.
- Music - Bon Iver (the pseudonym for the musician Justin Vernon and his collaborators) recorded the stunningly beautiful album “for Emma, forever ago” at a cabin in northern Wisconsin. The location arms me with an obvious bias. But if you can listen to this album and not consider the brilliance required to make magic in such sparse recording conditions you’ve not been to the same cabins that I grew up enjoying.
- Books - Richard Price’s novel “Lush Life” features hard-edged, distinctly real-feel dialogue that masterfully transports the reader to places they'd never knowingly choose on their own. Richard Price's work is good enough to whet the appetites of those still crestfallen now that “The Wire” is no longer on HBO.
- TV - “The Daily Show” continues to be the most essential show on any level. Sure, it’s a safe-sounding pick. But if anything else was on top of our TiVo recording list for 8-years running, it would have instead earned this accolade. And I believe Jon Stewart should have become the new moderator on "Meet the Press".
- Radio - Likewise, “This American Life” is essential radio listening. Especially in the case of two of their shows this Year dedicated to analysis of the economic meltdown. “The Giant Pool of Money” and "Another Frightening Show About the Economy". Both are infinitely better than any other economic reporting I saw during this difficult Year. Download the podcasts. Please.
- Sports - Michael Phelps swam like a dolphin. Maybe he's not a bad guy. But he’s becoming a Paris Hilton-like celebrity. Did anyone really think he was ready to host "Saturday Night Live"? Cancel that – the NY Giants winning the Super Bowl last January was the best sports moment of the Year.
- Killer App - Facebook became the single most effective way of locating largely-forgotten personal ghosts since the invention of the Private Eye. Sign up if you haven’t already done so. And crack out your old address books. You’ll be amazed who you’ll bump into. Maybe a bit scared, too.

2009 Largely Baseless Predictions
- Condi Rice comes out of the closet. Translation: she actually voted for Obama.
- Al Gore drops the whole global warming shtick for a more innovative new cause – hydroponics.
- Miley Cyrus starts dating Lindsey Lohan. The editorial offices of four tabloids soon thereafter spontaneously combust.
- New Orleans finally gets what it needs to begin a real recovery after Governor Bobby Jindal realizes he actually has a shot at the GOP nomination in 2012.
- Karl Rove shoots himself in the face on a hunting trip. The media rushes to indict Dick Cheney who was nowhere near Rove at the time, as evidenced by sworn statements that he was a 1000 miles away at the time shooting another man in the face. (Note: "Dick Cheney shoots someone in the face" predictions never get old)
- Ford buys GM and eliminates a bundle of divisions. Chrysler folds. But andthefamilybuick.blogspot.com survives and thrives. Check it out.
- The U.S. is truly, sadly the last foreign military presence in Iraq after Britian pulls out their last soldiers in the early summer. Widespread unwillingness to return for yet another tour of duty hobbles our military. We’re reluctantly down to 50,000 soldiers deployed there by 2010. Iraq becomes Bosnia. Translation: no one cares anymore as the World turns a deaf ear on yet another unresolved tragedy.
- Gitmo is closed and all prisoners are transferred to a prison in one of the reddest of red states. Oklahoma? Idaho? Wyoming? Utah? Yea, payback’s a bitch.
- Two new Supreme Court slots surface when John Paul Stevens and David Souter announce their retirements. Bill Clinton is spotted in Georgetown getting preemptively measured for a robe.
- The Gaza Strip is renamed the Gaza Smoldering Median.
- The Bush Legacy Project concentrates its energy on Phase One – a formal effort to change the pronunciation of "nuclear".
- The next Governor seized by scandal? Vermont’s Jim Douglas. It turns out that he’s been mislabeling his sugaring operation’s Grade B maple syrup as Organic Grade A maple syrup. His political career is OVER.
- The increasing wave of retail bankruptcies finally finds a way to make me smile – the nationwide decimation of high-end dog treat boutiques.

So where do we go from here? Forward (the official motto of the State of Wisconsin). I still find great reasons to have confidence in our Nation and I look to 2009 with focused, open eyes. May yours be a blessed Year ahead. Thanks for reading. Rock on.