Everything I Ever Needed to Know Would Never Have Been Taught in Kindergarten

This afternoon I had a "training session" for the next stage of the Washington State Democratic Caucus procedure (I'm a delegate from our lowly Precinct level of involvement, up to this point). Hereafter, I'm able to run for one of 40 slots against 859 current Barack Obama delegates. Which still ain't even close to the National Convention. Whatever. It's time to sling some mud in random fashion. That's my campaign motto. So here goes.

Hillary's laugh is fake. John McCain will never, ever pull all our troops out of Iraq. John Boehner's birthname was actually "Hardy Boner". Nancy Pelosi is reluctant to show off her killer bod. Harry Reid is a Mormon (seriously). Ted Kennedy cries uncontrollably twice a day. Russ Feingold deserves to be our next (Vice) President. Bill Gates secretly loves SPAM. Eliot Spitzer only would frequent hookers that had an extra toe on at least one foot. Donald Rumsfeld has taken up floral arranging and scrapbooking to ward off the realization that he'll burn in hell forever. Britney Spears eats one kitten and most of two puppies every day. All hybrid vehicles are 13% more fuel efficient if you stick a carrot in the lighter slot. Gawd is dead.

Glad I could help. Hope your own non sequiters are non sequitish today. Rock on.

Ladies and Gentlemen - here's the Hooker we've all been looking for...

How much do you think you were worth per hour at 22-years-old? Please consider inflation. Apparently, I TOTALLY undervalued myself. Ashley Alexandra Dupre` was deemed worth $1000/hour by a former Governor of New York. Just imagine if The Gap had to honor that sort of minimum wage. "Please enjoy your $7000 jeans, sir."

Hope your own MySpace is YourSpace today. Rock on.