Maya practices her multi-platform solo show. Bravo!

Maya practices her multi-platform solo show. Bravo!
Originally uploaded by emaggie

We've heard nothing but raves from Maya about her 4th Birthday (yesterday). We did some special rather freaky ceremonial shtick at the JCC in the morning. We had some good friends with a younger daughter also named Maya over for dinner. And then we opened a healthy collection of cool presents. A new favorite doll (Dressy Bessie), plenty of princess accoutrements, plenty of arty stuff, and a new keyboard piano to drive us all up an eventual wall. Tomorrow's the big double party with a friend whose Birthday was also this week. We've got 20 kids and their families coming. What the hell were we thinking...

Hope your own home doesn't have a continuous disco beat echoing in the background. Rock on.

The 4th Birthday cupcake blowout.

The 4th Birthday cupcake blowout.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Bobby Jindal - more Kenneth or Kyle?

Obama did what he needed to do last night - look like he's in complete control, hit some heartstrings, lay out the fact that we're pretty damn screwed. Michelle looked fabulous as everyone is saying - if my arms looked like that I'd burn all the sleeves in the house. Everyone else postured as we surely expect when it comes to these things. But I've got a burning question and a fresh peeve to offer. Governor Bobby Jindal was horrible in offering the GOP response - we can all agree on that, I'm sure. Still, there seems to be an unusually active meme that has compared his appearance and tone to that of the actor Jack McBrayer who plays Kenneth Parcell on the sitcom "30 Rock". I can see that. But as I saw things, he's more of the spitting image of the actor DJ Qualls who played the awkward yet ascendant nerd character Kyle in the movie "Road Trip" back in 2000. Bobby's a dork, forced to act like he believes in things he doesn't even though he knows better (Rhodes Scholar, Biology degree from Brown, supposedly now in support of teaching intelligent design in Louisiana schools). Kyle played essentially the same character in "Road Trip". Kenneth brilliantly plays a rube-like NBC page from an inbred background with a starry-eyed worldview. Kyle had sex with a woman he met posing as a cooler than he was college student while mooching off an African-American fraternity. You do the math. Bobby Jindal is DJ Qualls.

Hope your own separated at birth pools are primed for action today. Rock on.

Time for a rant...Close Gitmo now!

Let's face it. I'm an unapologetic liberal. I believe that everyone has a right to a trial, all legitimate citizen claims should be heard, and the purpose of a government is to better allow said rights of the citizenry. To some, that's like saying "everyone poops" or "the Minnesota Vikings will never win the Super Bowl". Obvious stuff that most prefer not to directly address unless it's in a book for kids (look for my upcoming kid's book "Vikings Pillaged Your Village - They Are Thereby Doomed"). But this is a blog for adults. Or dogs posing as adults to post anonymously without fear of getting a newspaper smack on the snout. Regardless, I've got a beef to cook up.

The always hilarious (usually without intent) Huffington Post today offers up a lament from a Yemeni man torn asunder during the period of extraordinary rendition overseen by the Bushies. It is exactly what you'd imagine - horrible, embarrassing and unintentionally all over the rest of our faces. This ain't journalism. But that doesn't matter. In short, as Dubya loved to continually evade real questions - "history will judge". Well, I want to say that we've already seen enough to judge. More details come forth every day. And as much as I support President Obama's difficulties in keeping as many balls in the air as he's been tossed, this program and the damning sore that is Gitmo simply must be exposed for what they were. A mistake. Just like the Japanese internment camps during WWII. Just like slavery. Just like not giving women the right to vote. Sometimes leaders screw it up. Dubya did on this issue. Put those poor bastards on our antiquated base in Cuba in a real military brig and give them a real military trial. If they did something wrong, put them in a federal prison. If the government can't prove it, let them go. And then let's move on. If we possibly can.

Hope your own delicious pumpkin muffin isn't soured by the taste of national disgrace today. Rock on.

"Mommy's back!"

"Mommy's back!"
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Sarah's back safe, sound and strong from Africa. We're just starting to get through the stories. What follows include a few pics from her time in Kenya. She's got some others from a lion trapping and other animal viewing that I might put up. But just wanted to offer a quick peek to let everyone interested know it was a great trip for her. Hope your own travels include a judicious use of a tranquilizer gun today. Rock on.

Maya's truly becoming a slanted driveway baller.

Maya's truly becoming a slanted driveway baller.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Auntie Katie and her tranquilizer gun.

Katie and her tranquilizer gun.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

A successfully drugged and blood drawn hyena really is a bonding experience.

A successfully drugged and blood drawn hyena really is a bonding experience.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Sarah and Katie celebrate after a shared hyena trapping.

Sarah and Katie celebrate after a shared hyena trapping.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Now THAT's a dump. I don't know what they were feeding Sarah in Kenya.

Now THAT's a dump. I don't know what they were feeding Sarah in Kenya.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Trainwrecks

If you've not yet seen it, Joaquin Phoenix was on "Late Night with David Letterman" last night. He was an inaudible delight. Completely full of drugs. Cranky. Impossible to take your eyes off of, kinda like what I imagine Jim Morrison was just before his last moments in the spotlight. Here's my unsupported theory - it was all an act. His older brother, River, was always the more talented and subtle Phoenix. But this one may rise again, too. Or probably not.

Sarah's still in Africa and Maya for the first time this morning asked when Mommy's going to be home. Sunday's pretty soon. And I'm planning a few fun distractions before then. Maya's been such a trooper. Still, I send out my best to those parents that need to do this on their own all the time.

On an utterly different level of parenting complexity, have you checked out the photos of that whackjob that had octoplets recently? Every fertility doctor in the world should be forced to use that portrait as their screen-saver. Helping people that need it to have kids is so important. But helping crazed Moms that just don't know when to stop is criminal.

Hope your own green rooms are stocked with nothing but mineral water today. Rock on.

Just what every young ballerina craves - donuts after class.

Just what every young ballerina craves - donuts after class.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

In defense of the new alleged doosh

Robert Gibbs is the new White House Press Secretary. No news in that statement. But I want to step forward and say that I think he's the smartest person to hold that job in quite a while. Dana Perino was a Barbie doll. Scott McClellan was always out of his proper depth. Ari Fleischer was the single most unwatchable prick in the history of the gig. Even the Clinton picks were mostly off the mark (although I always had a crush on Mike McCurry). Gibbs, however, seems like a guy tough as nails and able to talk on any subject as the situation merits. That's not to say that he's not taking some shots - The Daily Show was especially harsh this week and the impossible dooshiness of ABC's Jake Tapper veered into a undeserved tiff with the Gibber. The news networks are carrying his pressers live daily and it's like news crack for those with a pipe. Can you imagine being on point to answer questions in these anarchic days? Still, I see great things coming from the podium these days. Just needed to say it. Go Gibber.

For those that are unaware of our daily life, Sarah's in Africa. As a result, Maya's a social experiment that I can't quite yet gauge. We're doing loads of playdates/dinners with friends, and Maya starts another ballet class tomorrow morning. Distracting interactions rock. And we're using Skype to keep in touch across the continents. But with only the Pro Bowl scheduled as an utterly empty football snack this Sunday, we'll be doing lots of home improvement projects in the near term to fill the gap in proper parent interaction. Or maybe I'll just buy Maya a BB gun. Given how much the neighbor dogs (on BOTH sides) are yapping, I think it will be the best way to multi-task.

Hope your own press secretaries have plumped up briefing books today. Rock on.

A catch is a catch is a moment for the ages

Let me say straight away that I thought yesterday's Super Bowl was perfect. Both teams deserved to win. And both teams should have lost. I would love to be privy to Kurt Warner's prayers over the next few days (hint: Jesus no longer built his hotrod and he's pissed about it). The end of the game corner of the endzone catch by Santonio Holmes to give the Pittsburgh Steelers the Title was nonpareil. I hope Barack Obama was watching. That will surely put some wind in his sails as we head into the most uninteresting sports cycle of the Year. Sorry, Arizona. As much as I wanted the Cards to win, you can't argue with the zeitgeist. This was the Year the Pittsburgh Steelers were meant to inspire a Nation. Thank them for doing so.

Hope your own teams find a way to cut the crap and actually get tough on the field today. Rock on.