Dubya Dug Weed

Bush's private conversations from back in '98 with a (soon-to-be-audited) pal are making the rounds this morning. He should have known better given that he was talking to someone named "Doug Wead" (or, as I'm sure the Nicknamer in Chief knew him then, "Dug Weed"). A vague inference that Dubya smoked pot is probably the most salacious, although his praise of Ashcroft's stature is most disturbing. But the story will probably be nothing more than a brief distraction before being cast into the bottomless pit of Dubya's past excessive par-tay-ing releases. Still, I'm sure the Bushies are glad he's on Spring Break in Europe when this one hit the wires.

Drudge went decidedly low-brow this morning with the exclusive that Paris Hilton's cell phone was hacked recently. A wide array of celebs private numbers were then posted on the internet. What a disgusting invasion of privacy. But if you're looking for Lindsey Lohan, Bennifer or Eminem's digits, let me know.

In the obligatory Gannongate update, JD/Jeff is now trying to threaten everyone with lawsuits that somehow will address his "political assassination." While I appreciate his spunkiness and continuing hilarity, if anything, his downfall was a suicide. A hypocritical, steeped-in-denail, tax-evading, law-breaking, caught with a $200/hour gay prostitute suicide. But with the mainstream media increasingly picking up the trail of Gannon/Guckert's questionable past, he better fire-up that the team of lawyers. They're gonna be awfully busy.

Time for all of us to put down the papers and return to our Daytona 5-Hunnerd tailgate parties. The SupaDupa Bowl of speed and light beers and Lynerd Skynerd coverbands. This hazy nostalgia reminds me of my favorite unintentionally hilarious sports-figure name of all-time. Fellow 'Sconi native - NASCAR Legend Dick Trickle. Oh, how I miss his name in the sports pages. See y'all in the parking lot after the race.