Saturday, April 02, 2005

100% Pope-free Thoughts

After a week of making our lives easier, Phyl and El are headed back to Boston to exchange Spring Break stories with all their chums. Maya seemingly developed a few new tricks while they were here, although we're surely jumping the gun in ascribing to her such feats of advanced learning. For one, she now likes to give a rudimentary sing-songy response to "La La La-like" singing. No response yet to "TNT" by AC/DC (one of my favorite diaper changing songs). Also, Maya seems totally enamored with the musical Snoopy mobile from her Cousin Meg and Sherry that I hung over her changing table yesterday. She's also got a new "Infant-Stim Mobile" hanging over her bassinet, that came with more academic endorsements than Larry Summers (rimshot). So with the musical encouragement and visual stimulation newly added to environment, we expect further advances quite soon. Check back for the scorecard.

With everyone focused on the week's mortality news stories, I feel the need to offer my own weekly update of those stories that give me what I'm still choosing to call ANID ("appalling news intestinal distress"). There was a lot out there this week to be appalled by, both in terms of over-coverage and outright denial. So with a shot across the bow of each, I hope to be feeling more regular again real soon.

This Week's ANID Remedy List (take one shot at each, and leave it behind)
  • Yet another report decrying our nation's Intelligence gets ignored. And, no, I'm not taking about an "is our children learning" report. This puppy peed all over the rug in the CIA's lobby and said that, in effect, after 53 months in office the Bushies can still get away with blaming the Clinton Adminstration for all that ails our spy agencies. The NYTimes reported this morning that "(t)he commission co-chairmen said Mr. Bush had indicated that he knew some agencies would resist some proposed changes and hinted that he might have already heard arguments against the commission's ideas." Hinted, eh? In Texas, hinting is just another word for loading the gun in front of you.
  • Sandy Berger admits to stuffing his pants. Expect the Bushies to use this to show, yet again, how terribly the Clintonites shamed the nation by...oh, whatever. Sandy loses his security clearance. Pays a fine. And is required to wear form-fitting slacks for the remainder of his career. Oh, the horror.
  • Terri Schiavo's ordeal ends and Randall Terry is there to call for his own resurrection. For those of you that don't remember this clown from earlier disgraceful grandstanding, he made a "name" for himself during the days of Operation Rescue. Years of obscene, hateful public stances followed, including a failed run for Congress, an ugly divorce and public reprimands by religious organizations. Then one of his kids came out of the closet and described what a joy it was to have a hateful anti-gay bigot for a father. But thanks to Terri, Randall's got another shot at life.
  • Paul Wolfowitz is unanimously approved to head the World Bank. Europe stands up en masse and says...we surrender. I'm only sad that the confirmation vote took place on March 31st and not the more logical April Fool's Day.
  • Bill Kristol gets hit with a pie. Pat Buchanan gets hit with salad dressing. And Ann Coulter is a hit in Kansas. One of these things is not like the other...
  • Tom Delay fights back against those scandalous truth-tellers that would publicly mention his decision to pull the plug on his Pop. The Hammer has to be feeling the heat a bit given that even the Wall Street Journal put his feet to the fire in an editorial this week. Seeing him squirm is probably the only enjoyable Happy Hour activity for Dems in DC as of late. Well, that and having Jeff/JD Gannon/Guckert back in the news.
  • And "Sin City" opened to generally good but largely aghast reviews nationwide. We're looking for a baby-friendly matinee sometime this weekend. We'll be sure to post Maya's review when the time comes.


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