Hang onto your toasters

Here's my vote for the worst wedding to have gone to all year. The goofy looking dude is the one that knowingly flew all over with TB - Andrew Speaker. Everyone's all over this as of ten seconds ago. I wonder how many late gifters are going to hold out even longer.

Hope you get the test for free today. Rock on.

"I don't know 'bout you, Pooty Poot, but I'm half-expectin' Sean Connery and a thin Alec Baldwin to surface any time now..."

Today's non-headline being overcovered is that Fred "Please ignore most of the reviews" Thompson is readying a hat to toss into the GOP quicksand. Or as some prefer - the search for a slightly farther down yonder exit strategy. Take your pick. I just wonder what's his rush. He's from show bizness, fer chrissakes. Don't rush the opening. He could wait out this circular firing squad 'til September and still be a darling. Sure, he's shooting for an official announcement on the Fourth of July. As if the enemy won't know exactly when and where to attack on that date certain. Hasn't he learned anything from watching old Tom Clancy crap? I mean, c'mon Freddy - you were in some of that crap. You owned that crap. Yawn. Speaking of that holiday week - Putin and Dubya are going to meet in Maine for talks. Doesn't THAT sound like it was ripped from the pages of a lesser Clancy plot. Fred would be wise to join my bet that everything else is news scraps that entire week.

Mitt "My wife was hot!" Romney just took a good hard shot to those pearly whites with a HuffPost headline and very loose logical connection. All because the "360Million but hey who's counting" Mitt offered not to take a Presidential salary. AttaBoy, Mitt. Actually he plans to donate it to charity. To no doubt list as an itemized deduction. Still, it's not like he's buying companies to go all Gordon Gecko on them. This time. Now we'll see how his organization's hitters respond.

I spent a healthy portion of Memorial Day weekend with my brother, Jake. We met up where he is for the summer - Corvallis, OR. The 73rd most interesting place in the State (for Wisconsin, it would be Merrill). Corvallis's motto that's on bits of everything is "Enhancing Community Livability". Seriously. So we headed for Portland, which is such a funny smart city. Best of all sorts of very fun stuff - I got us some scalped tix to see Arcade Fire in a crazy cool venue. Luckiest scalp job in my personal history. My rating - solid A. The ten of them (!) throw a wall of art school rock at you, fused with all sorts of cool influences and years of music nerd training and crazy theatrics and brilliant staging to make it all somehow bigger than rock and roll. It's just fun to listen to and watch in truly rudimentary concert-loving form. The crowd was gregariously hilarious. Arcade Fire could have played longer. Who cares. If you get a chance, check them out. Especially live. You'll be impressed.

Hope your own day's staging would work as well in a football stadium as in an intimate cafe. Rock on.

Maya gets an early start on her Memorial Day weekend picnic schedule.

Maya gets an early start on her Memorial Day weekend picnic schedule.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

A few pics follow from our first picnic of the summer season. Hope y'all enjoy the holiday weekend. Rock on.

Say "cheese sandwich"

Say "cheese sandwich"
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Nothing says "summer's here" quite like that first outdoor grape popsicle.

Nothing says "summer's here" quite like that first outdoor grape popsicle.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

"C'mon Daddy - just act natural and forget that I've got a camera."

"C'mon Daddy - just act natural and forget that I've got a camera."
Originally uploaded by emaggie

"Since I know Sweeps Month's almost over, I thought y'all might want some suggestions for what the kids should watch this summer."

Dubya's press conference this morning was both stunning and utterly the same ol' story. He's losing it. Or really lost it ages ago and now we're just seeing echoes. Expect endless parsing of his ranting non sequiters. And, more interestingly, his bizarre, threatening folksiness. A couple for your consideration - he told two reporters (NBC's David Gregory and the NYTimes' Jim Rutenberg) that al Qaeda are a "threat to your kids." Plus, he called the 9/11 hijackers "19 kids" that killed 3000 Americans. Just to call bullshite on that "19 kids" chestnut - Mohammed Atta was 33. One of the others on that flight was 38. You may think I'm fixated on a tiny, absurd statement from a man who strings together almost nothing but the same. But I see this as an essential insight into how Dubya thinks.

Hope your own kids don't get a healthy dose of fear served up in their direction today. Rock on.

Sucks to be a Monica

Couple quick hard bankable shots for your consideration. Sorry to have been incommunacado for a few days.

I've not been watching Monica Goodling's testimony before the House Judiciary Committee. But I'll catch up so you don't have to. The very most I can say thus far is that she's sure got purdy hair. As far as either the Constitution or her worthiness for the job she ran into the ground go, she makes me throw up in my own mouth a little. Once again the defense of yet another loyal Bushie for anything they've ever done directly is that they didn't actually do it. She'll get another job, probably immediately, for some soulless, misogynistic law firm that just wants to brag about hiring the latest Fawn Hall. Personally, sexy testimony ain't been the same since Valerie Plame sauntered into and out of the spotlight. But as far as the blowjob from this Monica goes - we all could do so, so much better.

So the Dems in Congress appear to have blinked. John Edwards benefits the most from their retreat on an Iraq withdrawl timeline - say what you surely will about that guy, but he's got the best political instincts I see walkin' and talkin' these days. Oh, and Hillary suffers the most. Everyone else just takes a high hard one to the karmic temple with the eventual, devolving result of funding this disaster without principle.

Speaking of karma - is anyone even paying attention to the fact that our military just announced another 9 combat deaths? In one day. That's at least 80 this month, following 104 last month. Sorry to mention it. It's just, ya know, the truth.

On much more interesting ground, Maya's cranking along really well as we head into the summer. Uncle Jake and Aunt Sarah were just here for a visit during which we took Maya too among other Seattle events the Norwegian Constitution Day Parade (May 17th, or "Syttende Mai" as they call it here in Ballard). On the way to which, by the way, we found our latest lost camera (in the glove compartment - I didn't realize Maya had a key). Jake gets the inadvertent credit. You'll soon get the benefit from an array of new shots. I get to change my lost/broken lifetime digital camera total back to two. So we all win.

Hope your own Constitutions are fully ratified today. Rock on.

Maya asks for recommendations at Sonic Boom from Uncle Jake, the most knowledgeable music geek around.

Maya asks for recommendations at Sonic Boom from Uncle Jake, the most knowledgeable music geek around.
Originally uploaded by emaggie.

And you thought Mrs. Paul's Fishsticks were full of crap...

Wolfie's almost out. Screw that prediction - he's gone and forever tarnished. The ink's just not dried yet on that "liberator". Which leads me to bet that Gonzo's also headed on a greased skid toward the exit as an unceremonious document dump Friday afternoon. The astonishingly candid James Comey testimony yesterday finally cooked his goose. Remember - you heard it here first.

I'm one of what I assume to be a few paltry dozen Americans not working for a doomed campaign to have watched last night's GOP Debate in its entirety. Then I took a shower. Even if you're one of those Bushie trollers out there waiting to pounce on my honest opinion, I'll call it straight. These are the worst Presidential candidates on either side - in toto - of my generation of duopolistic options. But MAN how do you follow the act currently on stage (translation: those loyal Bushies) if you're these doofuses? There were so many ugly moments of homophobia, fearmongering, and outright assholery that it doesn't even pay to recap. If you've got a fave, let me know. Personally, Ron "Not Mrs." Paul's strikes me as the only wingnut with balls in that cluster. Not that it will do anything for him.

Hope all the ridiculously hypothetical questions you get today feature how much ice cream sundae you'll be able to eat. Rock on.

Falwell croaks, McCain panders

There was like 15 minutes back in early 2000 when I thought John McCain could actually be a man of his word. All that "Straight Talk(?)" and unconventional posturing. But that's as over as the career of Yahoo Serious. Today's DeadFalwell Condolences Lottery seals that deal. McCain was first out of the gates. That lead won't last, especially since there's a GOP LameGang o' 10 debate in South Carolina this evening. Please remember people - Jerry Falwell was the one to blame 9/11 on homosexuality and abortion. Anyone lining up to honor his memory should be reminded just how short their own appears to be.

For those that care to notice, every single day provides new stink in the Gonzo follies. Yesterday, it was "Number 2" Patrick McNulty throwing in the towel at Justice out of shame or, if you're a complete moron, his claim that college tuition costs made him walk. Today, it's "Former Number 2" James Comey laying out the hospital bedside efforts by Gonzo and Andrew "Don't Blame Me, I'm Just a Dooshbag" Card to get Ashcroft to sign off on the obviously illegal NSA wiretapping program way back in the day. So for tomorrow I offer the following prediction - Monica "Can I Please Get a New Stock Photo?" Goodling will strip for Jesus and donate her dirty singles to Gonzo's defense fund.

Hope your own underlings haven't been secretly plotting your downfall since Day 1. Rock on.

Our Mother's Day morning at the Ballard Farmer's Market.

A Mother's Day morning at the Ballard Market.
Originally uploaded by emaggie.

Maya checks out a bluegrass quartet from the perfect seat.

Maya checks out a Ballard Farmer's Market bluegrass quartet from the perfect seat.
Originally uploaded by emaggie.

Is that a stain in your pants or is it just October?

Certain things just plain hurt to admit. For me, it's that I find Larry the Cable Guy to be truly funny. And that I'm afraid of Alec Baldwin. Yet for the Bushies, there's no pain because there's no admission. Ever. Well, in the case of one Monica "Did I Mention That I Graduated From REGENT University?" Goodling, the pain of admission has been eleviated. Or, more appropriately, she'll be forced to testify about all the greasy machinations she participated in while helping to steer the firings of those eight, no wait...on second thought, nine US Attorneys. A federal judge today made it so. I expect absolutely zero satisfaction from this mess. But if it peels back even just a yogurt foil top worth of exposure into the Bushies and their political machine, it's worth it.

Dick "Where's My Banner?" Cheney threatened Iran today from the deck of an aircraft carrier. Repeat - Dick "In His Own Last Throes" Cheney threatened Iran today from the deck of an aircraft carrier. Even dead blind people could see the utter contempt for public reaction both here and abroad in doing so. There was a time when I believed Dick believed his shtick. Now I know it's just dumb, cornered, fully-exposed, hammer's-comin'-down-and-damn-the-torpedoes hubris.

Best silly Milwaukee Brewers fan site seen thus far - "Pee Your Pants for the Brewers!" I think I'm number 700 or so on the list. And you can bet your tighty-whiteys that I'll be drinking gallons of Hawaiian Punch and Pabst for the ascribed task when the Brew Crew actually completes the quest. Confused? Click through and sign up. Please. Thank you.

Hope your own embarrassing banners merely say "Hang in There - It's Friday!" Rock on.

"I don't recall this 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' of which you speak."

Tough day before the mics for those loyal Bushies. Alberto "I don't believe that's an accurate statement" Gonzales was the uncornerable snake up front. To think the Bushies even lied repeatedly about the NUMBER of attorney firings just overloads everyone's circuits. No wonder so many people lapse back into "American Idol" blather. Which reminds me that Seattle's own Blake may sing the national anthem before a Mariners-Yankees game this week since he snuck into the last 3 last night. Leikisha had talent, but up 'til now Blake was my boy. But now I just think he's the love child of the original "Star Search" cutey waiting to get very old very quickly, Sam Harris.



The Milwaukee Brewers are still on complete fire. They won 9 of 10 at home against a cheeseparade of NL Central mates. Now they head out for a long roadtrip against some fun folk. Pay attention, America. This is your new favorite team.

Bill Richardson kicked this ad's ass.

He's got a slim shot. But he's always been one of my faves. I remember from '04 people joking that the way you knew if Richardson was running for office was if he'd slimmed down noticeably recently. He's not Cate Blanchette thin. Still, don't count this amalgam candidate out if the campaign season ship gets a rockin'.

Hope your own album covers don't come back to haunt to you today. Rock on.

"C'mon, Queenie. None of us are getting any younger heh heh heh."

Two quick visual moments from the here and now. First, the best evidence yet that every single one of us would be a bad bet against a grizzly bear.



And only the most recent example of Dubya's fumbling embrace of tradition. In this case, playing the part of the cad. Just like ol' times.

Rush, the Magic Pillhead

Like many people, I'm not that into "The Sopranos" as it sputters to the finish. Some moments are nonetheless stunning. Like that of the Asian mental patient that beat up Uncle Joey, played with sharpness and perfect timing by Ken Leung. You may recognize him from some good character work and the expected fact that roles for Asian actors must be limited in today's Hollywood. Sadly, the truly misinformed have made too much of the fact that he looks quite like the Virginia Tech killer. Or at least that's what I learned from a fascinating little piece by Jeff Yang in the SFComical today. Leung's response is so articulate and rational that it deserves a looksie even if you don't watch TV.

Rush "Doctor Shopper" Limbaugh is trying yet again to fan his own flames with a truly tasteless anti-Barack Obama song parody. Then somehow he's spun it into a backhanded snark at the Clintons. Yawn. Anything that inflatable doosh says is some form of baiting and we all should beware of paying attention to him. Yet I find it interesting how blowhards are at long last getting miffed after getting tagged pretty hard by the media watchdog groups that have cropped up in response to the loyal Bushies. Media Matters lays out Rush's misplaced rage on this particular day. For those that care, this one's worth a few minutes of outrage. Or just know that Rush can still confound logic with his black-and-white hatred.

Hope your head is ditto free today. Rock on.

Ooh that Freddie...

The GOP field for Prez is pretty hard to like. The storylines are all predictably lame. Romney's shown more spit and polish than I expected. Guiliani's playing the bombthrower. The margins (Tancredo, Gilmore, Ron "Actually Two First Names" Paul) are weirder than usual. Yet in summation, dull dull dull. I'm not betting on Fred "Aces: Iron Eagle III" Thompson livening things up. Still, can't hurt. Especially if you check out his latest homestate Sunday newsy profile.

More importantly, the Brewers are so hot it's largely surreal. They are finding all sorts of ways to win games. Hot hitting, great pitching, strong bullpen. Ned "Huge Nicknamer Guy" Yost wanted a hot start and got exactly what had been predicted. Prince Fielder is scary. JJ Hardy is hitting like a 'roidhead. Everybody contributes. I'm telling y'all - this team is the real deal. Me so happy.

Hope your own profiles track down only the kids from high school that thought you were like totally cool. Rock on.

Three Cheers for Our Back-up Catchers!

Calling all sports fans - the Milwaukee Brewers are on fire. Best record in baseball. The last time they were in first place by 4 games, I was less than two weeks away from my high school graduation. So like forever. Their pitching is wonderful. They can light it up with all their young bats. I'll keep y'all posted, but keep an eye out for them. And I smell a Bob Uecker trend just begging to explode.

I didn't have the heart to mark yesterday's awful anniversary for the nation. But many others took the time to nail it completely.


Hope your team owns first place today. Rock on.