Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Insert your own Katherine Harris boob joke here

Dubya screwed himself yesterday. As Cheney famously said, "Big Time!" Every press organization this side of Anarctica focused on the gooey chewy nugget of "future Prezidunts" will decide when we leave Iraq. I expect this faux pas will make the Dubai ports deal look like an overcharge at your local 7-Eleven. I could add my caustic yet entirely original logs to the pyre being constructed. But I've been there and done that. I'll let the cliched forces for Good vs. Evil punch this one out. I'm more taken with something about Katherine Harris's run for Senate. No, not her vote-gathering, gravity-defying breasts and horrible tendency toward clownish make-up. I'm talking about her latest attempt to draw in the support of religious conservatives with biblical allusions that stumped the burning bush out of me until I did the requisite Googling. Basically Harris claims she will sell all her wealth for this campaign's expected demands. The mention of selling "a widow's mite" was my favorite bobble being vaguely cited. So if you are likewise interested and can't imagine taking the time to search for the sub-references I'll boil it down a bit - Katherine Harris is trying to run as a religious candidate. No word yet on whether her family's monopolistic background in the Florida citrus business (if you've heard of Sunkist, that's them) and her affair with Jeb make her viable from the point of view of the Robertsons and Falwells of the GOP religious attack monkey wing. There are other races in '06 that will astonish. But I salivate while predicting that none will be more salacious than hers. I'm all in on this one, baby. Stay tuned.

Hope your own tight-fitting sweaters highlight your qualifications today. Rock on.

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