Wednesday, March 01, 2006

You're calling this a "surprise visit"? You CANNOT BE SERIOUS!

In typical fashion, the Bushies are wedging their asses into the headlines this morning by saying that Dubya chose to make a "surprise visit" to Afghanistan on his way to India. That's like claiming "yea, I was headed to a Yale alumni reunion but decided at the last minute to stop off at Mineral State Junior College new student mixer". Can the Bushies and the sychophantic media please call THIS one straight, puuu-leeeze?! As I heard half-emphaized on "Morning Edition" this morning, the Bushies have been planning this for 8 weeks. The only "surprise" in all of this is that no one bombed the crap out of the grandstands during the photo-op, which reside in the only well-defended city block within hundreds of thousands of square miles of shitestorm. Ya wanna real "SURPRISE!" - try landing Air Force One at Baghdad Airport these days. But unlike the Bushies, I'm going to go out on a limb here - this trip to Central and Southern Asia will end in another "surprise" announcement about, um, "noo-q-ler" proliferation or the "Warrer on Terr". And you've all got permission to leak to all your secret media contacts that you heard it here first.

But my real subject this morning before I try to do some actual work is to plant a seed of a future story that I hope will draw you back. Namely, I got a telemarketing call yesterday from a scandalously-concealed Mormon charity that briefly raised my temperature to an unhealthy degree. Here's just a taste....

Just after I did the hand-off with our actor/nanny Megan and began to settle into playing with Maya's new Birthday toys, the phone rang and the greeting I received was, "may I speak to the LADY of the house (my emphasis added)". As Sarah and every other person on the Planet that knows me will testify, I'm a complete bee-yatch when it comes to unwelcome telemarketing or piss-poor customer service that impedes our otherwise decent lives. Yet aside from the 1950s manner of address, this call set a new standard of deceptive, incompetent and misinformed stupidity. It was from "The Dove Foundation", an organization looking to poll me and solicit donations to promote "wholesome family entertainment". Don't Google them - I'm already giving them more hits in my initial research than they will ever actually deserve.

In all seriousness without totally showing my hand, I think I've got a live story on the line here. Please check back. Seriously. This one's a stinker. Hope your own stories are well-sourced and utterly legit today. Rock on.


vcthree said...

March 1, 2006, 1:44am: KABUL, Afghanistan (AP) A top Afghan offical says President Bush is to visit Afghanistan on Wednesday--his first trip to the country.

That was the text message the AP sent to my cell phone. Surprise! Not.

Derek from VT said...

I must apologize, as the Dove group is a marketing ploy by our parent company Unilever and their globo campaign "Vitality". Idiots!

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