Wednesday, January 11, 2006

"But I know what my constituents really want to know is, have you ever REALLY looked at a rainbow?"

Alito's confirmation hearing was so interminably boring yesterday that the news networks have already jumped off the full coverage bandwagon. Bank hold-ups, crappy video surveillance tapes, people hugging their pets - anything that shows life in actual motion seems to trump this bunk. At the moment everyone's riveted, RIVETED, by Tom "I'm Not an Attorney" Coburn lobbing fluffy snowballs about foreign rulings and stare decisis and...ZZZZZZ.

Oops, sorry 'bout that. I seem to have nodded off, like Sam Brownback actually did during yesterday's testimony. Alito is Nyquil and qualludes in human form. And now Coburn's asking "why would you want to be a Supreme Court justice?" Oh, SNAP! That'll really trip him up....ZZZZZZ.

Damn, nodded off again. And now Coburn's asking "tell us a little about Sam Alito" and I just saw Alito's son yawning in the front row behind him. Alito is communicable narcolepsy. I hate to say it, but just vote for the twit already. He'll be a horrible Justice and will hurt all of us in countless ways. But I'd rather be thrown into Gitmo than be forced to endure heartfelt descriptions of this man's softer side. Hope your own hearings feature some actual excitement today. Rock on.

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