Sunday, January 08, 2006

The Vikes get serious, the Frost Heaves get Hot-Hot-Hot!

Many Packers fans like me are terrified of the head coach hiring decision being guided by the incomparably incompetent, Ted "EVEN Worse than Tommy" Thompson. The list of second-class males I've heard bandied about thus far is all the evidence you need. In short, I'm looking at the Pack as a fallen franchise that won't find a cure for what ails us in the foreseeable future. But then I read a piece from the always interesting Minneapolis Star-Tribune (the "Strib" as it should always be known) about how their owner, Zygi Wilf, courted their new head coach, Brad Childress, and I began to feel even worse. I don't think I've ever said this, but I'm incredibly impressed by the Vikings. Having big-time cash and jets and what I assume are the finest hookers in the 612 area code on-call surely helps. Still, the always interesting 'Sconi-Mudducks border battle might just tilt entirely in the Western direction in the near future if Thompson goes anywhere near the choices he seems to have on his short list. Zygi "No, Not MILF, it's" Wilf may have the worst name in pro sports. But he's kicked the crap out of the Pack's tarnished legacy this week.

In other sportiness, I'm very excited by how the soon-to-be-beloved New Brew Crew are handling their off-season acquisitions. Bringing back a strong closer (Dan Kolb) as a set-up reliever and picking up an under-used third-bagger, Corey Koskie, at a garage sale equivalent price is dating-the-homecoming-queen-whose-Dad- sells-weed lucky. Yet aside from my well-established Milwaukee fetish, my favorite New Year sports story comes from the unlikely climes of the Green Mountain State. Namely, I'm going to pay some bigtime long-distance attention in the year ahead to the arrival of
the Vermont Frost Heaves - the newest '06-'07 ABA franchise (that's WAY-subpar NBA basketball for those that are un-acronym-aware, or UAA). A fun ongoing story that I happened upon the introduction of in an issue of "Sports Illustrated" from last month piqued my interest. I even ordered a t-shirt as a result. You shirty folks should too. So the Biggish Leagues FINALLY come to Vermont. And even though they're trying to use the Packers as a model of community ownership (a great idea, unless you're trying to convince the Terrell Owens'es of the World to come a courtin'), I'm all in on this team. Do yourself a favor and get Heavin'! Rock on.

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