Time for some fessing up. To those of you that feel I've been slighting the Maya coverage in lieu of all that is so galling newz-wise as of late - my apologies. I offer this blog as a free public service meant largely to serve the Maya-loving public...at least until my team (accountant/web designer/goatee wrangler) finds a way to squeeze some extra pennies from your beloved readership. After which I go "Big Time!" - solid platinum Hummer3, free-range cashmere track suits, Evian enemas, rainforest-wood-fueled BBQ smoker lit 24/7 for beercan bald eagle cookouts. Most days I can't help but comment upon horrible stories such as the U.S. Military in Iraq getting roped into a raid on Moktada al-Sadr's multi-purposed torture-chamber/mosque. Or Idaho's Gov. "Dick" Kempthorne arranging for his fake-wife to be appointed Lt. Gov. of "I-da-ho" when he moves to DC to cover up things in the Interior for the Bushies. But today I'm putting all that and other juiciness aside. After two brief updates...
Tom here in SF (a friend dating back prior to this blog, via college chumminess with Sarah) passed along a follow-up to the Issac Hayes story regarding quitting "South Park" over Scientology. Basically, Chef may have been framed as an unfortunate pawn. Tom Cruise isn't mentioned, but should be. The only point necessary to be drawn - Scientology is the bitchiest, most-clueless cult this side of Amway. Or Oprah's Book Club.
Also, the previously mentioned "Dove Foundation" that I'd wanted to split open like a well-dried gourd. Well, I lost interest the more I researched them. Essentially, they're Mormons with a crazy hard-on for attacking "Hollywood" on behalf of those that believe in "family values" and the need for the curbing of free expression. To give them more ink would be to give them more time than they deserve. As I believe Jesus would say, "those freaks is CRAZY".
So for the Maya-ness some of y'all crave, I've got good news. She's walking. Not to the store, not even downstairs to pick up my morning newspaper - although I've asked in both cases. But walking consistently and true. A weekend in Santa Barbara with the encouragement of Nanna, Poppy, Aunties Becca and Katie, and a number of beloved random visitors got her engine for such activity fully primed. The steps came in bunches. And now that we've back home, she's striding like an Olympic hurdler full of the requisite horse steroids. Given that it's her 13-month Birthday, I suppose that such a signpost is appropriately noted. When she takes her first serious digger, I'll be sure to pass it along. Regardless, she looks happy and hearty in her new mobility. Bicuspids are in, so to speak. Molars on their way. Or at least that's what I saw this morning at breakfast. Hope your own dentistry is formatively focused today. Rock on.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Friday, March 24, 2006
And "pulling a Munson" gets renamed, "pulling a Morrison". (apologies to the Farrelly Brothers)
Sucks to be anyone who wasted cash buying sporty gear over the last few years for the NCAA Men's Tourney darling - Gonzaga. They lost a heartbreaker last night. And BOY do I mean lost it. The last 11 points of the game were scored by UCLA. The 'Zags were up by 5 points with 40 seconds to go. They lost by 2. And then their strangely talented and just plain strange star (Adam Morrison) had a hissy fit and dissembled onto the floor, weeping face down while his teammates tried to congratulate the exultant UCLA players. Insanely exciting and deranged ending. Exactly why the Tourney is the best sporting event of the year, hands down.
Heading outta town for a quickie weekend down in Santa Barbara. Hoping to get Maya in the pool and on the beach. Pics should be expected herein thereafter. Hope your own Friday getaways last through the weekend and beyond. Rock on.
Heading outta town for a quickie weekend down in Santa Barbara. Hoping to get Maya in the pool and on the beach. Pics should be expected herein thereafter. Hope your own Friday getaways last through the weekend and beyond. Rock on.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Today's Chef Special - L. Ron Hubbard Lawyer on a Shtick
With all that's wrong in the World today (Google: "the Bush Administration) "South Park" offered a distraction last night in its Season Premiere. Crappy episode, written out of obvious spite and surprisingly devoid of truly obscene insult to the Age We Unfortunately Live In. But frickin' HILL-AIR-E-OUS! Issac Hayes got scewered like the only sea urchin at a vegan beachside BBQ. Comedy Central bowed to the lititgious pressure from Tom Cruise and his Mothership by not airing an episode concerning Scientology. Issac Hayes even quit to add heft to the Scientology pressure. No word yet on the previously sexy Anne Archer's reaction to the shtick - I always held a candle for her lingering hotness until I saw her ingratiating mug on a poster in the storefront window of the Scientology "Reading Room" in Santa Barbara. Nonetheless, everyone got their lawyers all up in a bunch and made it seem like Trey Parker and Matt Stone were offering up the cultural equivalent of calling Jesus a fag (remember - you heard it here first...but not really). So Parker and Stone puked out an episode that was equal parts personal and awkwardly funny. Kinda like my prom date. Who wins in all this? Who cares. But I'm sure a lot fewer 18-year-olds will make the horrible wrong turn into a Scientology-sponsored seminar in the years ahead. For that, I nominate "South Park" for the Nobel Piece of Mind Prize.
Hope your own adventurist departures today don't leave you on a valley floor, partially devoured by mountain lions and/or grizzly bears. Rock on.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Insert your own Katherine Harris boob joke here
Dubya screwed himself yesterday. As Cheney famously said, "Big Time!" Every press organization this side of Anarctica focused on the gooey chewy nugget of "future Prezidunts" will decide when we leave Iraq. I expect this faux pas will make the Dubai ports deal look like an overcharge at your local 7-Eleven. I could add my caustic yet entirely original logs to the pyre being constructed. But I've been there and done that. I'll let the cliched forces for Good vs. Evil punch this one out. I'm more taken with something about Katherine Harris's run for Senate. No, not her vote-gathering, gravity-defying breasts and horrible tendency toward clownish make-up. I'm talking about her latest attempt to draw in the support of religious conservatives with biblical allusions that stumped the burning bush out of me until I did the requisite Googling. Basically Harris claims she will sell all her wealth for this campaign's expected demands. The mention of selling "a widow's mite" was my favorite bobble being vaguely cited. So if you are likewise interested and can't imagine taking the time to search for the sub-references I'll boil it down a bit - Katherine Harris is trying to run as a religious candidate. No word yet on whether her family's monopolistic background in the Florida citrus business (if you've heard of Sunkist, that's them) and her affair with Jeb make her viable from the point of view of the Robertsons and Falwells of the GOP religious attack monkey wing. There are other races in '06 that will astonish. But I salivate while predicting that none will be more salacious than hers. I'm all in on this one, baby. Stay tuned.
Hope your own tight-fitting sweaters highlight your qualifications today. Rock on.
Hope your own tight-fitting sweaters highlight your qualifications today. Rock on.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
"I wanted to take U Conn. But Turd Blossom reminded me they're from a Blue State. And weak on Defense."
Dubya gave a freaked-out unannounced presser this morning from the White House Press Room. As usual, he was equal parts optimistic, flailingly unprofessional and petulent. The exchange with Helen Thomas is the only thing you need to read or listen to unless you've got, like, no life. As one of the few thousand Americans who was able to watch it while I gave an uncomfortably-teething, seething-with-a-lowgrade-cold, yet entirely submissive Maya her morning bottle, I'm still stunned by the display. For those of you that think I'm always just spouting liberal shtick, I challenge you - watch this guy, YOUR GUY, painfully try to joke around with a roomful of reporters and tell me why I shouldn't make fun of him. Dubya knows he's on camera. Hell, any dork knows how a camcorder works. That's why so many people freeze up and get all bizarro when they see the red light at weddings or family reunions. Yet this is actually important. Still, Dubya feels as though the Prezidunt should make fun of reporters in between questions while the World shakes its collective head at the disrespect. It's so painfully obvious the disdain Dubya and his tired staff of cronies have for the media. On that fact, tons of Americans are with them. That's why the Bushies do it - discredit the critics, play lowball, say the media distorts everything, yada yada yada. Part of the modern American Preziduncy, many would defend them by saying. But their flippance far too often recently (including this past weekend's WashingtonPost Op/Ed ghost-written for Rummy) condescends even further to the claim that "history will decide" and that journalism is all crap. I suggest that this is merely a tactic to buy time. But many more news conferences like this one and, well - history can't wait forever.
Hope your own news conferences today include at least one question about how your NCAA Tourney brackets are looking. Rock on.
Hope your own news conferences today include at least one question about how your NCAA Tourney brackets are looking. Rock on.
Monday, March 20, 2006
"Progress" redefined - as in, "why must 'forward' always be so uni-directional?"
NEWSFLASH: Dubya STILL claims we're "makin' progress" in Iraq! Or, in other words, his speechwriters have absolutely nothing else to say to counter the multitudes of facts smacking the Bushies in the face like junebugs astride a Harley cruising at top-speed on an open country highway. Regardless, this whole PR spin class from the Bushies allows me to look toward those things that instead might inspire. Namely, Maya. And my own childhood back in Wisconsin. Because, after all, both will have about as much impact as Dubya's latest speechifying on our country's security. Or the price of beets in Belarus, for that matter.
Maya's got molars coming in. So she's a total bitch. In the sense of "bitch" being a totally understandable, generally uncomfortable, utterly unpredictable, yet largely encrypted entity for whom a hug seems to break the code of discontent. If she were a TV show, she'd be something like "The Soup" on E! - well-produced and often focused on the trivial. But oh-so-watchable.
Then there's the whole "not-yet-walking-but-thanks-for-asking" aspect of her mobility. Her balance is better than mine. She spills over obstacles like Steve McQueen with a headful of meth. But she's still relying on "the cruiser crawl" thing whenever the gap between handholds is more than a few steps. We need an epiphany to transition her into a full Walker, California Ranger. Regardless, expect the updates herein as soon as it legitimately happens.
To flesh out the mention of my 'Sconi childhood - I got a call from a high school friend yesterday who lives in Neenah, WI (a Chicago compared to the Peoria of our shared youth, so to speak). Haven't spoken to him in what I'm reluctant to admit is honestly 15 years. But my 'rents still live where I grew up and have had contact with his family much more recently. We'd sent out Maya's birth announcements recently (only a year-ish late for those keeping score at home) and I'd included this friend (Donnie) in the bundling. So he called to catch up. And suddenly it was like it was the late 80s again. We were laughing about our shared anarchic small-town experiences. Not that it matters to anyone aside from me. Yet we graduated amidst a class of 40 and this was akin to finding a long-lost sibling. He's a teacher, cool dad, ex-college-football player and current coach. So if he's reading, I just want him to know...you hit like my one-legged sister. If she wasn't even trying.
Hope your own friendly taunts are equally productive today. Rock on.
Maya's got molars coming in. So she's a total bitch. In the sense of "bitch" being a totally understandable, generally uncomfortable, utterly unpredictable, yet largely encrypted entity for whom a hug seems to break the code of discontent. If she were a TV show, she'd be something like "The Soup" on E! - well-produced and often focused on the trivial. But oh-so-watchable.
Then there's the whole "not-yet-walking-but-thanks-for-asking" aspect of her mobility. Her balance is better than mine. She spills over obstacles like Steve McQueen with a headful of meth. But she's still relying on "the cruiser crawl" thing whenever the gap between handholds is more than a few steps. We need an epiphany to transition her into a full Walker, California Ranger. Regardless, expect the updates herein as soon as it legitimately happens.
To flesh out the mention of my 'Sconi childhood - I got a call from a high school friend yesterday who lives in Neenah, WI (a Chicago compared to the Peoria of our shared youth, so to speak). Haven't spoken to him in what I'm reluctant to admit is honestly 15 years. But my 'rents still live where I grew up and have had contact with his family much more recently. We'd sent out Maya's birth announcements recently (only a year-ish late for those keeping score at home) and I'd included this friend (Donnie) in the bundling. So he called to catch up. And suddenly it was like it was the late 80s again. We were laughing about our shared anarchic small-town experiences. Not that it matters to anyone aside from me. Yet we graduated amidst a class of 40 and this was akin to finding a long-lost sibling. He's a teacher, cool dad, ex-college-football player and current coach. So if he's reading, I just want him to know...you hit like my one-legged sister. If she wasn't even trying.
Hope your own friendly taunts are equally productive today. Rock on.
Friday, March 17, 2006
"South Park" hits a ligitious nerve - alert all the John Smiths in Hollywood (watch the credits to get the joke)
Wow. If you have 21 minutes and 40 astonished seconds to blow and care to watch the origins of a total legal shitestorm, you NEED to watch the "South Park" Scientology episode that was pulled from Comedy Central in response to legal threats from Tom Cruise and L. Ron Hubbard's "Church" lawyers. Just for added flavor, Issac Hayes (the voice of Chef over 9 seasons, yet sadly another brainwash victim) quit over this episode claiming that he couldn't tolerate the criticism of religion (translation - "my" religion). If you could hear me now, you'd hear me still laughing from the aggregation of this absurdity. The episode is great. Not as great as the dissection of the Mormons from a few seasons ago. But bloody well brilliant, nonetheless. The internet is seemingly now best used to view just this sort of viral controversy. The poster on YouTube claims to have "found" the video in a rental shop. Whatever you believe, enjoy.
A Nation drowns an awkward Anniversary with gallons of Green Busch Lite
Dubya's "Bring 'em On" War in Iraq began three years ago today. For the most part, the media is skidding across the surface of this story. The USA Today offered up a poll that's worth a looksie - obviously more Americans have been hurt by this folly than we'd previously been led to believe. But most of the other assessment angles read like shallow, obligatory crap. Especially with St. Patty's Day falling on a Friday and thereby forcing the 12% of American citizens of actual Irish ancestry into a boozy struggle for a barstool with 73% of the Nation's goofballs dressed in puke-green plastic hats. No offense to the Irish, but Dubya's forever peed indelible green all over your BoozeFest. In the spirit of poorly-prepared rationales, here's my contribution to the non-Irish part of today's discussion.
3 Years after the start date of some of our Nation's Most Referenced Prior Wars...
War of 1812 - it was over. But surprisingly, it lasted until 1815.
Civil War - the most brutal war in American history was less than one year from over.
World War I (from the point of the U.S. entering the Fight) - it had been over for like 18 months.
World War II (ditto on our entry date) - it would be over in 8 months.
Korean War - over. The TV series "M*A*S*H*", unfortunately, would last for another 8 years.
Vietnam - we were 7-12 years away from the shame of evacuating the Embassy in the fall of Saigon, depending on your agreed upon start date.
So, I speculate. One of those Wars is most like this bugger. Which is these Wars do you think it is?
Hope your own historical comparisons feature equally cute "Sesame Street" sing-alongs today. Rock on.
3 Years after the start date of some of our Nation's Most Referenced Prior Wars...
War of 1812 - it was over. But surprisingly, it lasted until 1815.
Civil War - the most brutal war in American history was less than one year from over.
World War I (from the point of the U.S. entering the Fight) - it had been over for like 18 months.
World War II (ditto on our entry date) - it would be over in 8 months.
Korean War - over. The TV series "M*A*S*H*", unfortunately, would last for another 8 years.
Vietnam - we were 7-12 years away from the shame of evacuating the Embassy in the fall of Saigon, depending on your agreed upon start date.
So, I speculate. One of those Wars is most like this bugger. Which is these Wars do you think it is?
Hope your own historical comparisons feature equally cute "Sesame Street" sing-alongs today. Rock on.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Daisy Duke stands up to Boss Hogg, at long last.
We all know Jessica Simpson. Hotter-than-hot dumb-ass blonde. Painfully over-exposed by our celebrity-obsessed media. Lived in my garage for a few weeks while dealing with her painful separtion from Nick Lachey. Eats nothing but Oreos, Kettle Chips and Sominex. Full of silicone. Dumb as a post. Y'know - normal American twentyish divorcee. But then I saw this morning how even JESSICA SIMPSON is running away from any association with Dubya. Apparently, J-Dumbo doesn't want to adversely affect her plastic surgery charity (in all seriousness, it's called Operation Smile) by attending a GOP fundraiser tangentially with Dubya. On a morning when the Bushies are trying to emphasize their right to pre-emptively attack Iran and the GOP attack monkeys are trying to rally behind a banner meant to tag the nation's ballsiest living Senator (Feingold, ascending to Wellstone's tragically-vacated position) as a traitor, I doubt that any story will have more impact than this cheesy tartlet's defection. No word yet on what Jessica's believe-it-or-not less-talented sister, um, Stinkifer, has to say about the Bushie agenda.
Hope your own siblings totally, like, sign off on your agenda, like, today. Rock on.
Hope your own siblings totally, like, sign off on your agenda, like, today. Rock on.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Sidekickin' it with Mz. Johnny Rotten
I'm offering entirely low-impact bloggin' this mornin' - hope all of those that wanted Maya pics appreciate what I threw up herein last nite. I'm trying to get some work done around taking time out to meet a fellow "new Dad" friend for coffee at a favorite cafe in Cole Valley. But I simply must attempt to defame a cheeseball who just came into my frame of reference. If you've ever believed me about anything, believe me about this. Imagine a punk rocker chick. Cute, but not too much so. No offense. Your standard studded belt. Bandanas tied around her lower calf (hey, Axel - your future wife appears to have raided your closet last nite). Platform chunky shoes. Black clothing, shoulders to toes. Poorly-dyed red hair. As she sits down at the table next to me she pulls from her army green sling bag (!) the recent punk rock non-fiction history titled "Please Kill Me" (haven't read it myself, but I've heard good things). All of this sounds in character for a generally-attractive, entirely-standoff-ish punk, I'm sure you'll agree. But then she pulls out her Sidekick and makes a big deal of flipping it open to check her messages - for those of you unaware or uninterested, Motorola's Sidekick is the under-30 Blackberry with a pricetag that is wholly unjustified. And then I noticed that she'd brought in a Venti Starbucks cup. Please excuse the shouting but THIS IS AN INDEPENDENT COFFEESHOP! Unless that's 20 ounces of gin, you're a fraud. I haven't seen this much cheesiness since the Cheddar Carving Contest at the Wisconsin State Fair back in '81. If I was two decades younger, I'd stand up and throw a green tea with just a touch of lemon in her face...
Wait. She left for the bathroom and hasn't returned for more than 10 minutes. I'm going way out on a limb here, but I think she's shooting up in there. Yup - haven't seen her for WAY too long. She's a mess. Gawd Shave the Queen. Whatever you take that to mean.
Regardless, hope your own radicalism has unimpeachable street cred today. Rock on.
Wait. She left for the bathroom and hasn't returned for more than 10 minutes. I'm going way out on a limb here, but I think she's shooting up in there. Yup - haven't seen her for WAY too long. She's a mess. Gawd Shave the Queen. Whatever you take that to mean.
Regardless, hope your own radicalism has unimpeachable street cred today. Rock on.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
And Number 5, Texas outlaws the use of the word "Allah" unless used in conjunction with the words "have an order of ribs".
Even if you live in the freakishly warm N'East or the broad swath of the country either recovering from tornadoes or fighting wildfires (is this really only March? and does anyone still dispute that our climate is changing like crazy?), there's a terrible chill in the air this morning. Specifically, I'm talking about a story in the NYTimes this morning about how college scholarships created for women and minorities are being flooded by applications from white men. Frat guys, largely. Well, I don't know that for sure, but I bet they've all been on the business end of a beer bong in the recent past and have at least one dog named "Dubya". Regardless, I'm sure anyone with a brain would ask "why?" and "can they do that?" and maybe even "what about gay white men?" Basically, the Bushies are pushing through their grassroots a further dissembling of anything that hints at affirmative action. And just like the utterly illegal abortion ban South Dakota recently decided to have tattooed on its ignorant ass, this movement is more about arrogant over-reaching given the new members of the Supreme Court than anything else, say, rational. Or legal. So I'm going out on a limb here to predict some new "Test the New Supreme Court" initiatives. Admittedly, they're about as likely to move on as my NCAA Women's Basketball bracket's Champion. In that one, I picked the Duke men's team to win. Because if you're going to break down barriers...
- Maryland's GOP finally gathers the balls necessary to call for a renaming of the State. Their proposal - Herbland. The cross-pollenization from the NORML crowd brings those extremes together for the first (and last) time.
- Pat Robertson announces plans for a pro-Israel, anti-Jew theme park. He dubs it "Christalvania".
- David Duke and Ralph Reed begin construction with the money they've illegally raised to construct a wall around the former-City of New Orleans, specifically designed to keep out black and Hispanic people. The Department of Homeland Security re-appropriates their levee construction money to the project, which is being handled by Halliburton's chicken-wire and mesh subcontractor.
- The College Republicans begin a drive to eliminate sororities for illegal housing restrictions on campuses. They pair with the producers of the "Girls Gone Wild" video series to begin building a vast array of "clothing-not-EVEN-optional" condos/shower-rooms/pillow-fight-dens on the smoking remains of those former houses. The Department of Education moves considerable funding to the new project, quickly dubbed "No Worthwhile Rack Left Behind".
Monday, March 13, 2006
I'm back. On second thought, not really...
Rumors of my blogging demise have been greatly exaggerated. I just needed to step away for a few days to focus my energy on other pursuits and wait for the news to catch up with me. Sadly, it seems as though we're in a time-warp yet again this Monday. Dubya's prepping a PR cycle to explain just how darn much we're winning in Iraq. Wake me up when he says anything about our "progress" other than "we're makin' good". And with much of the nation gripped by pre-March Madness madness, I'm feeling lukeish. Not Skywalker, just sort of tepid. Barry Bonds is still a ludicrously large-'roid-headed jerk, this weekend's GOP attack monkey straw poll for their fave '08 Candidate generated as much heat as the anticipation of NBC's '06 Winter Olympics highlight DVDs hitting the market, Ex-Bushie Claude Aikens (not the 70s TV star, but the Top Policy Adviser in the White House) is outed for a lame Target scheme that every desperate frat guy in the nation has contemplated at some point, Kirby Puckett is still dead, Edgerin James is headed to Phoenix, and we're all being lulled once again into silence. There's not enough caffeine in the world to make this morning's papers interesting.
On second thought, I'll be better off putting up some Maya pics later today and putting aside the news. Hope you're able to prioritize equally well today. Rock on.
On second thought, I'll be better off putting up some Maya pics later today and putting aside the news. Hope you're able to prioritize equally well today. Rock on.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Barry Bonds vs. The Brew Crew - A Nation is asked to decide.
Barry "Give me the Cream AND the Clear" Bonds is this morning's biggest sporty story, breaking like an obviously-forecast 30-foot wave over the previously protected shores of Michigan's Upper Peninsula. Face facts, folks - Barry Bonds is a 'roided-out freak, a complete jerk and the sort of controversial clown that Major League Baseball has dreaded owning up to ever since well before Rafael Palmeiro's balls retracted into his unnaturally-trimmed abdomen. I want "BB" out of the game. Seriously. I want him disgraced and shunned by every sports fan across the Globe. My sentence of having to watch this jerk writ disproportionately-large here in San Francisco has been short. But if the new explosive book from the SF Comical's reporters proves true, Bonds is the most cynical, most scandalously self-involved and most short-sighted character in American sports since Dubya ran the always horrible Texas Rangers even deeper into the bedrock. Boot the bastard, Bud (that's "Mr. Selig" to you poor sorority grrrls working the luxury boxes at Miller Park). If Commishioner Bud was a true baseball man and not just a boot-licking lackey, he'd investigate and subsequently shun this jerk before he broke Babe Ruth's home runs mark, much less that of the incomparably-dignified Hank Aaron. Above all, I worry that Bonds' disgraceful past will distract attention away from the obvious and beautiful future consolidation of America's love behind this Season's Brew Crew. I'll assume that you, Humble Reader, haven't been paying attention. But the Brewers are on FIRE! At least in the Spring Training sense of things. This is a team with low costs but showcase showdown value. In comparison, Barry Bonds is an incomparable jerk with total disregard for the game he plays. The Brewers play in Milwaukee, where (according to my nativist sources) our nation's tradition for sports-fandom was founded. Not sure about the attribution, but you should look it up. Regardless, who are you rooting for America? Me thinks Ned Yost's "Ya Dere Boyz!". Or not - it's a free country, after all. Just make sure you don't root for Barry Bonds. He's SUCH a dooshbag.
Too much? Whatever. Hope your own Hall of Fame balloting is unianimous today. Rock on.
Too much? Whatever. Hope your own Hall of Fame balloting is unianimous today. Rock on.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
DeLay fiddles while Houston burns
To beat a horse that doesn't yet realize it's dead, Tom DeLay's the dumbest prick on the planet. Most including myself expect he'll win today's Texas Republican Primary election for his formerly safe seat. Yet he may still face a run-off. Not to mention an unimaginably tough race in the Fall. So how does the Hammer plan to spend the day? At a fundraiser in DC with lobbyists Susan Molinari and Bill Paxon. If you're a Republican, how's that thumb in the eye feeling? If you said, "just fine", I want to reassure you that you've got others coming from DeLay. On the Karma bus, Tom DeLay's sitting next to James Frey. Hope one of them remembered to fill a flask.
My favorite post-Oscars stat of the morning - all 5 of the Best Picture nominees combined grossed less than "March of the Penguins". Sarah didn't have much of a warm and fuzzy feeling from renting "Penguins" a ways back, which I sadly missed because of my weekly baby seals clubbing club. With clubs. Am I still typing out loud?
Hope your own grosses are commodius today. Whatever that means. Rock on.
My favorite post-Oscars stat of the morning - all 5 of the Best Picture nominees combined grossed less than "March of the Penguins". Sarah didn't have much of a warm and fuzzy feeling from renting "Penguins" a ways back, which I sadly missed because of my weekly baby seals clubbing club. With clubs. Am I still typing out loud?
Hope your own grosses are commodius today. Whatever that means. Rock on.
Monday, March 06, 2006
My notes from the Oscars, since I'm sure no one else was watching
"Crash" won the Best Picture Oscar last night. In a media-driven spectacle that rarely surprises, this one left buttloads of people breathless. Or angry. Hopefully not at my cheeky "buttloads" half-assed attempt at a joke. As much as I want to comment on the comparison, I'm in a bad position since I haven't yet seen "Crash". Damn. I wanted to get a reach-around joke in that last sentence. Still, as soon as "Crash" comes out on video, I'm all over it. But I'd like to thank the Academy for giving me the opportunity to make light of homophobia by instead invoking racism. And of course I'd like to thank my agent. And my goatee designer. And my Second Grade teacher, Ms. Lindholm, who gave me the courage to be a budding class clown and still be taken seriously when it came to number-writing time.
Sheesh...I have no idea what I'm saying. I made some notes last night while watching the Oscars. I wish some of it was genius. Just like I wished Jon Stewart would be genius. Both of us were middlingly successful. I'd give us both a rating of B-minus. Let me know what you think.
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It's Oscar Time, America!
• Ryan “Not even my Wife knows how to ACTUALLY pronounce my name” Phillippe talked on the red carpet of having their 6-year-old at home staying up beyond his/her bedtime “watching Mommy and Daddy on TV” for the first time. They then looked to the wrong camera (even with Billy Bush’s Spielbergian direction) and said hello. They live on the West Coast. That was at approximately 5pm. Those poor kids hate them. No wonder they’re in marriage counseling.
• With TiVo watching my back, I got to watch our fireplace light up the otherwise dark living room while Maya finished a bottle before heading to bed. The hardwood logs crackled with perfectly-timed glee, emitted a crazy stream of gas and collapsed. Maya stole a glance my way while tugging on my ridiculously-long goatee. I got verklempt thinking of spending last Oscar Sunday in the hospital on the day of Maya’s birth watching “Million Dollar Baby” bring home the major awards.
• Dolly Parton is the most altered woman currently alive. And the resemblance to the woman from “Soap” in “Brazil” is striking.
• Those adorable Wilson Brothers. I met their parents at a café in Dallas in 2000 the day after seeing “Shanghai Noon”. Their mom was wearing a denim oxford shirt bearing the film’s name and I struck up a conversation, assuming they might be associated with the famously Dallas-raised Owen and Luke. The ‘rents were cooler than liquid nitrogen. Oooh - icky. The Boys just introduced animated characters for a bit of canned Oscar bunk. I bet the entire Wilson family hit the bar harder than anyone alive afterwards.
• Love how the “small” categories get the “get off the stage” music even BEFORE they start talking.
• Jennifer Aniston named 5 nominees for Costume Design. Our local over-the-top nerdball video store (Le Video on 9th) only had 4 on their Oscar ballot. Remember, you heard it here first.
• They CUT OFF the make-up co-winner! How seriously unfair. Howard Berger (her co-winner) hogged all of their precious seconds by starting in with a lame George Clooney joke. Berger's the biggest douchebag of the evening. Speaking of Clooney jokes - how many Clooneys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Answer - what's the lightbulb wearing?
• Morgan Freeman’s SOOOO drunk.
• Lauren Bacall makes me sad.
• Charlize Theron’s dress looks like it’s masking a deflated parrot on her shoulder. Great reflective fabric, nonetheless.
• LOVE THE FRENCH DUDES winning for “March of the Penguins” and taking the stage with the stuffed penguins. Immediately thereafter, HATE THE J. LO!
• I just spied U.S. Rep. Edward Markey (D-MA) in the audience. Just thought the World should know.
• Honorary Oscar to Robert Altman presented by Lily Tomlin and Meryl Streep. Silliness as bliss. They both are astonishingly funny. Robert Altman rocks like old school AC/DC. I saw him once at a symposium in Seattle saying that he got his inspiration from smoking pot on this great porch he has. The guy’s more honest than Ghandi. Altman’s acceptance speech is the most brilliant I’ve ever seen.
• Best Acceptance Speech of the Night – Obviously, the Three 6 Mafia for Best Song. Hill-AHR-i-mo-fockin-osity!
• Jennifer Garner’s post-baby boobs almost tripped her up on the way to presenting the Oscar for Sound Editing. Almost.
• Most Real acceptance speech – “Tsosti” dude.
• Was Hillary Swank wearing a painted-on dress? Yes.
• John Travolta’s hair gets weirder every time he’s let out of the Scientologists’ compound. I don’t want to see him again unless there’s a humongo tranquilizer dart in his neck and I’m somewhat assured he won’t make a break for it. Not really sure what that means.
• “CRASH” WON! Boy, do I wish I was in the Castro right now to join in the open rebellion and looting.
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Lots of other stuff in the World worth digging into, but I gotta get down to some real writing. Thanks for reading. Hope your own awards ceremonies today feature glorious swag. Rock on.
Sheesh...I have no idea what I'm saying. I made some notes last night while watching the Oscars. I wish some of it was genius. Just like I wished Jon Stewart would be genius. Both of us were middlingly successful. I'd give us both a rating of B-minus. Let me know what you think.
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It's Oscar Time, America!
• Ryan “Not even my Wife knows how to ACTUALLY pronounce my name” Phillippe talked on the red carpet of having their 6-year-old at home staying up beyond his/her bedtime “watching Mommy and Daddy on TV” for the first time. They then looked to the wrong camera (even with Billy Bush’s Spielbergian direction) and said hello. They live on the West Coast. That was at approximately 5pm. Those poor kids hate them. No wonder they’re in marriage counseling.
• With TiVo watching my back, I got to watch our fireplace light up the otherwise dark living room while Maya finished a bottle before heading to bed. The hardwood logs crackled with perfectly-timed glee, emitted a crazy stream of gas and collapsed. Maya stole a glance my way while tugging on my ridiculously-long goatee. I got verklempt thinking of spending last Oscar Sunday in the hospital on the day of Maya’s birth watching “Million Dollar Baby” bring home the major awards.
• Dolly Parton is the most altered woman currently alive. And the resemblance to the woman from “Soap” in “Brazil” is striking.
• Those adorable Wilson Brothers. I met their parents at a café in Dallas in 2000 the day after seeing “Shanghai Noon”. Their mom was wearing a denim oxford shirt bearing the film’s name and I struck up a conversation, assuming they might be associated with the famously Dallas-raised Owen and Luke. The ‘rents were cooler than liquid nitrogen. Oooh - icky. The Boys just introduced animated characters for a bit of canned Oscar bunk. I bet the entire Wilson family hit the bar harder than anyone alive afterwards.
• Love how the “small” categories get the “get off the stage” music even BEFORE they start talking.
• Jennifer Aniston named 5 nominees for Costume Design. Our local over-the-top nerdball video store (Le Video on 9th) only had 4 on their Oscar ballot. Remember, you heard it here first.
• They CUT OFF the make-up co-winner! How seriously unfair. Howard Berger (her co-winner) hogged all of their precious seconds by starting in with a lame George Clooney joke. Berger's the biggest douchebag of the evening. Speaking of Clooney jokes - how many Clooneys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Answer - what's the lightbulb wearing?
• Morgan Freeman’s SOOOO drunk.
• Lauren Bacall makes me sad.
• Charlize Theron’s dress looks like it’s masking a deflated parrot on her shoulder. Great reflective fabric, nonetheless.
• LOVE THE FRENCH DUDES winning for “March of the Penguins” and taking the stage with the stuffed penguins. Immediately thereafter, HATE THE J. LO!
• I just spied U.S. Rep. Edward Markey (D-MA) in the audience. Just thought the World should know.
• Honorary Oscar to Robert Altman presented by Lily Tomlin and Meryl Streep. Silliness as bliss. They both are astonishingly funny. Robert Altman rocks like old school AC/DC. I saw him once at a symposium in Seattle saying that he got his inspiration from smoking pot on this great porch he has. The guy’s more honest than Ghandi. Altman’s acceptance speech is the most brilliant I’ve ever seen.
• Best Acceptance Speech of the Night – Obviously, the Three 6 Mafia for Best Song. Hill-AHR-i-mo-fockin-osity!
• Jennifer Garner’s post-baby boobs almost tripped her up on the way to presenting the Oscar for Sound Editing. Almost.
• Most Real acceptance speech – “Tsosti” dude.
• Was Hillary Swank wearing a painted-on dress? Yes.
• John Travolta’s hair gets weirder every time he’s let out of the Scientologists’ compound. I don’t want to see him again unless there’s a humongo tranquilizer dart in his neck and I’m somewhat assured he won’t make a break for it. Not really sure what that means.
• “CRASH” WON! Boy, do I wish I was in the Castro right now to join in the open rebellion and looting.
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Lots of other stuff in the World worth digging into, but I gotta get down to some real writing. Thanks for reading. Hope your own awards ceremonies today feature glorious swag. Rock on.
Friday, March 03, 2006
Deciphering the benchmarks as we stumble our way into Year Two of Parenthood
Like most parents, we decided to get Maya a series of immunizations and a dollop of pediatrician-delivered guilt right after her First Birthday. Maybe that's a bit of an overstatement. Our pediatrician's a good doc. Smart woman. Sarah appreciates her suggestions. But I always leave feeling like we've been keeping Maya in the crawlspace under the stairs and occasionally poking her with hot sticks. As if. I've NEVER heated up one of those pokey sticks and it's less of a crawlspace and more of a pile of Costco goods. But I'll let y'all judge for yourself how Maya looks with the latest Tale o' the Tape:
Height - 29 1/2 inches
Weight - 22 pounds, 10 oz.
Headsize - not measured, but she's around a 4 and a 1/2, if you're ordering her this season's Brew Crew hats. Actually, make that 7 and 5/8ths - she prefers to wear my hats. And, yes, that's my noggin size these days - damn you syphillus!
Hemoglobin, or hobogoblins, or the helloGollum mark - 12.9 (the East German judge terribly underscored her @ 11.6) If you know what these numbers mean, your next appointment is waiting, Doctor.
As we were reassured, Maya's cranking on the development curve. Doing handstands and juggling (4 balls!) helped pad her scores. But apparently we're not forcing her to choke down enough fresh fruit or broccoli or dirt or, um, petroleum products...I kinda zoned out after trying to discern what effects all the lead paint chips that I've been mixing into her yogurt might have on her development. In all seriousness, she's doing great by all measures. And while getting her immunizations including a few extra for our trip to Mexico in May, Maya only ripped one tiny artery from Sarah's neck. So her fine motor skills are advanced, and she doesn't freak out at the sight of copious bloodflow. DoubleBonus!
Time to move onto some other things. I'll respect the ludicrously conceived chestnut of "don't criticize the Prezidunt while he/she is abroad (no pun intended, ladies)" by waiting until next week to call Dubya's trip to Asia a vapid boondoggle staged by retarded monkeys. Because I respect the office, doncha know. I'm sure you'll want to check back for that. Hope your own goodwill tours today take you to places other than consignment shops. Rock on.
Height - 29 1/2 inches
Weight - 22 pounds, 10 oz.
Headsize - not measured, but she's around a 4 and a 1/2, if you're ordering her this season's Brew Crew hats. Actually, make that 7 and 5/8ths - she prefers to wear my hats. And, yes, that's my noggin size these days - damn you syphillus!
Hemoglobin, or hobogoblins, or the helloGollum mark - 12.9 (the East German judge terribly underscored her @ 11.6) If you know what these numbers mean, your next appointment is waiting, Doctor.
As we were reassured, Maya's cranking on the development curve. Doing handstands and juggling (4 balls!) helped pad her scores. But apparently we're not forcing her to choke down enough fresh fruit or broccoli or dirt or, um, petroleum products...I kinda zoned out after trying to discern what effects all the lead paint chips that I've been mixing into her yogurt might have on her development. In all seriousness, she's doing great by all measures. And while getting her immunizations including a few extra for our trip to Mexico in May, Maya only ripped one tiny artery from Sarah's neck. So her fine motor skills are advanced, and she doesn't freak out at the sight of copious bloodflow. DoubleBonus!
Time to move onto some other things. I'll respect the ludicrously conceived chestnut of "don't criticize the Prezidunt while he/she is abroad (no pun intended, ladies)" by waiting until next week to call Dubya's trip to Asia a vapid boondoggle staged by retarded monkeys. Because I respect the office, doncha know. I'm sure you'll want to check back for that. Hope your own goodwill tours today take you to places other than consignment shops. Rock on.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
You're calling this a "surprise visit"? You CANNOT BE SERIOUS!
In typical fashion, the Bushies are wedging their asses into the headlines this morning by saying that Dubya chose to make a "surprise visit" to Afghanistan on his way to India. That's like claiming "yea, I was headed to a Yale alumni reunion but decided at the last minute to stop off at Mineral State Junior College new student mixer". Can the Bushies and the sychophantic media please call THIS one straight, puuu-leeeze?! As I heard half-emphaized on "Morning Edition" this morning, the Bushies have been planning this for 8 weeks. The only "surprise" in all of this is that no one bombed the crap out of the grandstands during the photo-op, which reside in the only well-defended city block within hundreds of thousands of square miles of shitestorm. Ya wanna real "SURPRISE!" - try landing Air Force One at Baghdad Airport these days. But unlike the Bushies, I'm going to go out on a limb here - this trip to Central and Southern Asia will end in another "surprise" announcement about, um, "noo-q-ler" proliferation or the "Warrer on Terr". And you've all got permission to leak to all your secret media contacts that you heard it here first.
But my real subject this morning before I try to do some actual work is to plant a seed of a future story that I hope will draw you back. Namely, I got a telemarketing call yesterday from a scandalously-concealed Mormon charity that briefly raised my temperature to an unhealthy degree. Here's just a taste....
Just after I did the hand-off with our actor/nanny Megan and began to settle into playing with Maya's new Birthday toys, the phone rang and the greeting I received was, "may I speak to the LADY of the house (my emphasis added)". As Sarah and every other person on the Planet that knows me will testify, I'm a complete bee-yatch when it comes to unwelcome telemarketing or piss-poor customer service that impedes our otherwise decent lives. Yet aside from the 1950s manner of address, this call set a new standard of deceptive, incompetent and misinformed stupidity. It was from "The Dove Foundation", an organization looking to poll me and solicit donations to promote "wholesome family entertainment". Don't Google them - I'm already giving them more hits in my initial research than they will ever actually deserve.
In all seriousness without totally showing my hand, I think I've got a live story on the line here. Please check back. Seriously. This one's a stinker. Hope your own stories are well-sourced and utterly legit today. Rock on.
But my real subject this morning before I try to do some actual work is to plant a seed of a future story that I hope will draw you back. Namely, I got a telemarketing call yesterday from a scandalously-concealed Mormon charity that briefly raised my temperature to an unhealthy degree. Here's just a taste....
Just after I did the hand-off with our actor/nanny Megan and began to settle into playing with Maya's new Birthday toys, the phone rang and the greeting I received was, "may I speak to the LADY of the house (my emphasis added)". As Sarah and every other person on the Planet that knows me will testify, I'm a complete bee-yatch when it comes to unwelcome telemarketing or piss-poor customer service that impedes our otherwise decent lives. Yet aside from the 1950s manner of address, this call set a new standard of deceptive, incompetent and misinformed stupidity. It was from "The Dove Foundation", an organization looking to poll me and solicit donations to promote "wholesome family entertainment". Don't Google them - I'm already giving them more hits in my initial research than they will ever actually deserve.
In all seriousness without totally showing my hand, I think I've got a live story on the line here. Please check back. Seriously. This one's a stinker. Hope your own stories are well-sourced and utterly legit today. Rock on.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
"And please don't forget that the American people know that .340 would be a very respectable batting average, especially for the Texas Rangers."
Today's least-worthy story - Anna Nicole Smith "appearing" before the Supreme Court. I'm just speculating here, but I'd be willing to bet that Clarence Thomas had trouble sleeping last night in anxious anticipation of this sordid spectacle.
Today's most-worthy story - the WashingtonPost taking the time to visit the Baghdad morgue and see that over 1300 people have been killed in sectarian violence there since last Wednesday. 1300 dead in one week! If they were quail, that wouldn't merit discussion. But they're people. Un-buh-leave-able.
I haven't yet seen how the Bushies have downplayed the Coast Guard concerns about the Dubai Ports World deal to handle our security. But I'm willing to bet that the alleged anti-Israeli stance of this company that is just beginning to get ink will add considerable heat to the stinkpot. Imagine the absurdity of Dubya nixing this deal after the sure-to-be-half-assed 45-day review. Stir that around for a bit. Enjoy.
If ever the Bushies "don't pay attention to the polls", today's THAT day. Dubya hit a 34% approval rating in the CBS-NYTimes assessment. After just a bit of searching, I see that Carter hit a low of 26% and Nixon bottomed at 24%. Expect to hear those comparisons much more often in the days ahead. I'm sure Scotty "We Need More Power, Cap'n!" McClellan's already got some Rovian spin geared up like, "Prezidunts often go through periodic downturns in their popularity while working hard for the American people."
Speaking of polling the Bushies won't listen to, Zogby offers numbers this morning taken directly from the ranks of the military. 72% think the U.S. should leave Iraq within the next year. 29% say we should leave IMMEDIATELY. As someone who's sick-to-death of the bromide that I should "support our troops" and that Dubya prefers to "listen to the commanders on the ground", I certainly hope someone in DC takes their jingoism to heart. The Bushies approach to this continuing debacle is as absurd as the heavily-favored Indianapolis Colts losing in the NFL Playoffs but still showing up at the Super Bowl expecting that the fans will prefer them to the teams lined up for the kick-off. If you don't think this is a civil war, read the piece mentioned above from today's WashingtonPost. Face it people - we've lost a war of our own choosing. We've been humiliated and our military is radically weakened by that folly. If you disagree with that, please let me know why. And try to back it up with facts. I dare you.
But not all's strictly bad newzy in the World today. It's Jack Abramoff's Birthday (he's 48). There's just two days until the soon-to-be-again-beloved Milwaukee Brewers' first Spring Training game. And the Earth is still orbitting around the sun. Except in Kansas - there it's still just a theory. Hope your own list of positives mightily outweigh the negatives today. Rock on.
Today's most-worthy story - the WashingtonPost taking the time to visit the Baghdad morgue and see that over 1300 people have been killed in sectarian violence there since last Wednesday. 1300 dead in one week! If they were quail, that wouldn't merit discussion. But they're people. Un-buh-leave-able.
I haven't yet seen how the Bushies have downplayed the Coast Guard concerns about the Dubai Ports World deal to handle our security. But I'm willing to bet that the alleged anti-Israeli stance of this company that is just beginning to get ink will add considerable heat to the stinkpot. Imagine the absurdity of Dubya nixing this deal after the sure-to-be-half-assed 45-day review. Stir that around for a bit. Enjoy.
If ever the Bushies "don't pay attention to the polls", today's THAT day. Dubya hit a 34% approval rating in the CBS-NYTimes assessment. After just a bit of searching, I see that Carter hit a low of 26% and Nixon bottomed at 24%. Expect to hear those comparisons much more often in the days ahead. I'm sure Scotty "We Need More Power, Cap'n!" McClellan's already got some Rovian spin geared up like, "Prezidunts often go through periodic downturns in their popularity while working hard for the American people."
Speaking of polling the Bushies won't listen to, Zogby offers numbers this morning taken directly from the ranks of the military. 72% think the U.S. should leave Iraq within the next year. 29% say we should leave IMMEDIATELY. As someone who's sick-to-death of the bromide that I should "support our troops" and that Dubya prefers to "listen to the commanders on the ground", I certainly hope someone in DC takes their jingoism to heart. The Bushies approach to this continuing debacle is as absurd as the heavily-favored Indianapolis Colts losing in the NFL Playoffs but still showing up at the Super Bowl expecting that the fans will prefer them to the teams lined up for the kick-off. If you don't think this is a civil war, read the piece mentioned above from today's WashingtonPost. Face it people - we've lost a war of our own choosing. We've been humiliated and our military is radically weakened by that folly. If you disagree with that, please let me know why. And try to back it up with facts. I dare you.
But not all's strictly bad newzy in the World today. It's Jack Abramoff's Birthday (he's 48). There's just two days until the soon-to-be-again-beloved Milwaukee Brewers' first Spring Training game. And the Earth is still orbitting around the sun. Except in Kansas - there it's still just a theory. Hope your own list of positives mightily outweigh the negatives today. Rock on.
Monday, February 27, 2006
Mayapalooza, Year One, exceeds all our expectations
On a weekend when the entire Nation was gripped by Don Knotts tributes and Ice Dancing withdrawal, we got to revel in a collective, extended celebration of Maya's First Birthday. Family and friends joined us yesterday for Maya's Party that we moved inside from the previously-planned location in Golden Gate Park when Hurricane Katrina appeared to be closing in on the Bay Area. Whatever the locale, Maya was as happy as Bill Clinton at an all-you-can-eat topless Mardi Gras buffet. Cool kids to play with. Loads of wrapping paper to dismantle. A couple of cupcakes to smear all over her growing-up-so-fast face. I think I can speak for everyone when I say that it was a rockin' bash. And then she went down for a hearty food-coma nap while most of the adults and a few of the kids continued to sing her praises. We couldn't have been happier about the turnout and outpouring of MayaLove.
But actually, today is Maya's Birthday. No party planned, just loads of noo-q-ler family hugs in between attempting to stack her passel of new toys in our shrinking and increasingly Crayola-tinged pad. Nonetheless, I think Maya's had a great day thus far. She got up early. Took what I can only describe second-hand as a satisfying dump. Munched on most of her new toys. Ate a hearty breakfast. Got out for a jog in the Park. Took another dump. And now she's down for a nap after a filling lunch. Since I praise her countless wonders on an almost daily basis, I'll leave it at that. Year One with her was a hoot. Can't wait for what's next. Thanks to everyone who's sent along their Birthday wishes. Maya says, and I quote, "ah bah da da oh oh (nummy sound)". Which means she loves y'all, too. Rock on.
But actually, today is Maya's Birthday. No party planned, just loads of noo-q-ler family hugs in between attempting to stack her passel of new toys in our shrinking and increasingly Crayola-tinged pad. Nonetheless, I think Maya's had a great day thus far. She got up early. Took what I can only describe second-hand as a satisfying dump. Munched on most of her new toys. Ate a hearty breakfast. Got out for a jog in the Park. Took another dump. And now she's down for a nap after a filling lunch. Since I praise her countless wonders on an almost daily basis, I'll leave it at that. Year One with her was a hoot. Can't wait for what's next. Thanks to everyone who's sent along their Birthday wishes. Maya says, and I quote, "ah bah da da oh oh (nummy sound)". Which means she loves y'all, too. Rock on.
Stella explains to Maya that Barbie's body image was created by marketing gurus back in the 50s. Maya reacted by liking Barbie's pretty blouse.
Friday, February 24, 2006
Showing the World how we begin every day with a jumpball...
With Iraq further descending into widely-forecast chaos and our collective American tittie in a relentless twister, I'm sure many of us are like poor young petite skinny rich famous traditionally-attractive Sasha Cohen today. We vaguely need a pick-me-up. A post-elite-clubbing dust-me-off. A spa treatment and champagne enema hug before starting all over again trying to rake in endorsements. But before doing so, I have to point to the preponderance of irrelevance that topped Google News this morning. If you haven't read the news yet today, don't bother. Unless Bradgelina or Bennifer drop trou in front of a live TV audience, you ain't missing nothin' if you just peruse the comics and read your horoscope. Cases in point...
1. iTunes just passed a Billion songs sold. I've not bought one yet. So this can't be true.
2. Ice skating is the biggest draw in the Winter Olympics. Yet travelling minstrel shows like "Disney on Ice" are routinely chased from cities by angry mobs. Where does that disconnect come from?
3. South Dakota is now officially the State where you are least likely to get laid. But boy is North Dakota looking like Cancun in comparison, eh?
4. Beavers. Apparently, they're way older than we thought. I, for one, am not surprised.
5. John Bolton "invited" the UN Security Council to join him at a Knicks game to see "everyday America". I imagine a night out with Bolton would make a force-feeding and firehose shower at Guantanomo look like a spa treatment. Talk about torture.
See what I mean? Interminable crap. We're SOOOO waiting for the other shoe to drop as a Nation if this is the junk we're being fed as news with all that's upending itself in the World currently. So if I were to put money down on, say, the date and time of an alien invasion, I'd pick right about...now. Hope your own bets pay off mightily regardless. Rock on.
1. iTunes just passed a Billion songs sold. I've not bought one yet. So this can't be true.
2. Ice skating is the biggest draw in the Winter Olympics. Yet travelling minstrel shows like "Disney on Ice" are routinely chased from cities by angry mobs. Where does that disconnect come from?
3. South Dakota is now officially the State where you are least likely to get laid. But boy is North Dakota looking like Cancun in comparison, eh?
4. Beavers. Apparently, they're way older than we thought. I, for one, am not surprised.
5. John Bolton "invited" the UN Security Council to join him at a Knicks game to see "everyday America". I imagine a night out with Bolton would make a force-feeding and firehose shower at Guantanomo look like a spa treatment. Talk about torture.
See what I mean? Interminable crap. We're SOOOO waiting for the other shoe to drop as a Nation if this is the junk we're being fed as news with all that's upending itself in the World currently. So if I were to put money down on, say, the date and time of an alien invasion, I'd pick right about...now. Hope your own bets pay off mightily regardless. Rock on.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
"What Went Right" # 27 - Emeril actually stopped saying "Bam!" for approximately 72 hours.
This whole Dubai Ports deal story is like newsy crack. Everyone's pickin' up the habit. I must honestly say that I think this story is a dog. Yet since nobody can resist piling onto this scrum, I've also got my favorite overwrought bits to mention. Such as the Sludge Report offering up a conspiracy story that says there was a "secret deal between DP World and the White House". And the Dems bubbling over with glee that they can play the same "9/11 changed everything" games of pointing fingers at everyone to gain political advantage (to paraphrase Stuart Smalley, "when you point a finger at someone, there are 3 more pointing right back at you,"). Whatever happens with this DP World deal, the Bushies will get slammed. They've got no out. Approve the deal and they look careless, deny the deal and the World sees Dubya as a vastly weakened powerplayer forced into anti-Arab capitulation. It's a lose-lose situation.
Set aside the Ports story, and you're still left with a White House totally flummoxed by Cheney's recent shooting mess, the terrifying fact of Iraq's escalating sectarian violence, a totally-downplayed Bushies' Katrina report (including a 19-page section titled "What Went Right"), and less heat from the Winter Olympics than that of a 40-watt bulb. So there's not much good newziness out there, no matter your political persuasion. Thankfully, I live in a beautiful city on a beautiful day with some time at hand to work on stories of my own creation. Hope your own day's content is worth smiling about. Rock on.
Set aside the Ports story, and you're still left with a White House totally flummoxed by Cheney's recent shooting mess, the terrifying fact of Iraq's escalating sectarian violence, a totally-downplayed Bushies' Katrina report (including a 19-page section titled "What Went Right"), and less heat from the Winter Olympics than that of a 40-watt bulb. So there's not much good newziness out there, no matter your political persuasion. Thankfully, I live in a beautiful city on a beautiful day with some time at hand to work on stories of my own creation. Hope your own day's content is worth smiling about. Rock on.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
The Bushies "made sure"...so what's the problem?
I'm not incensed like a standard GOP attack monkey by the argument over selling 6 American cities down the river of questionable Port security to that United Arab Emirates firm. The Bushies tried to spin us all this morning that Dubya "made sure" everything's proper with this silly deal. But this morning's denial from Scotty "Why is everyone so mean to me?" McClellan that Dubya knew nothing of this $6.8 BILLION sale under review by the Defense and Homeland Security departments until they'd approved its passage is causing major league mid-term election hives, I'm sure. The logical question is what they ACTUALLY brief Dubya on. Aside from that implicit absurdity, this whole issue sounds like a crock to me. Foreign companies have their hands on the throat of many important aspects of American security. Still - this teapot tempest convinces me that, 1) the Bushies no longer worry about outsourcing the running of the asylum to the really crazy mo-fos. And, 2) they've lost any grip on the commonly-held views of the "American People" they so often love to quote. Do I trust the UAE-aneese? Probably. Do the typically insensitive, paranoid members of Dubya's inner circle trust them? Shockingly, yes. Yet the many figures with regular access to TV cameras ("Senator Doctor Frist - your stand-up is ready...") are the ones to watch on this story. THE question left to be answered is "why are the Bushies allowing this to happen?" - is it this Dubai company's alleged connection with Treasury Secretary John Snow or the undeniable connection with Dubya appointee, David Sanborn (not the crappy saxophonist, to the best of my knowledge), that's got folks worried? As usual, I'm amazed that this story's legs seem stronger than that of the Veep shooting a man in the face or a GOP media faker being a gay prostitute. But if I've learned anything by living in California, it's to surf the wave rather than to let the wave surf you. Dude. However you slice this salami, no Bushie is going to look smart by letting us farm out our port security to the Middle East. I'd love to see Mary Matalin give it a shot after her monstrously bad performance on "Meet the Press" this past Sunday. Come to think of it, maybe that's what the Bushies need - shoot someone from the UAE in the face. Have them apologize. All is forgiven. Kapeesh?
Maya's First Birthday Party is coming up this weekend. We've been having lots of fun trying to dissect her new vocal sounds and increasingly balanced command of the upright World of pre-walking. She's so frickin' cute. Will she have new tricks for her fans on the Anniversary of Her Birth? Maybe. Expect all the updates herein thereafter. Hope all your own passed signposts are major ones today. Rock on.
Maya's First Birthday Party is coming up this weekend. We've been having lots of fun trying to dissect her new vocal sounds and increasingly balanced command of the upright World of pre-walking. She's so frickin' cute. Will she have new tricks for her fans on the Anniversary of Her Birth? Maybe. Expect all the updates herein thereafter. Hope all your own passed signposts are major ones today. Rock on.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Friday, February 17, 2006
"And I'd like to personally apologize to Vice President Cheney for ruining what I'm sure would have been a wonderful Happy Hour."
Not much surprise in the DC Press sitting back on their haunches. Still, I'm amazed that the Rove machine for the Bushies ran Quailgate farther down the "blame the victim" road than ever before in the history of mankind. Whittington just got out of the hospital, but before doing so gave a presser. They gave him an extra layer of mortuary make-up. And one main talking point - Big Dick is blameless. Which he repeated like the loyalest of loyalists. So history must now chew on and taste the moment when the man the Veep shot in the face apologized for what the Cheney family had to go through while he was in the hospital for six days. I don't even want to bring up the whole "heart attack and risk of other trauma due to unrecoverable birdshot near other internal organs" or "shot through many layers of clothing and in such a configuration as to suggest a blast within 20 feet" liberal conspiracies. Even though they're pretty compelling. Nope, the gutless few in control of the big press organs out there leave us with the remote-as-Pluto chance of someone from the Armstrong Ranch episode actually telling the truth. I still expect all those freaky "CSI:" fans out there to pick this carcass apart for the real story. They've gotta be up to something aside from the handful of wasted hours watching all those pseudo-real forensics shows. I'll keep an eye out for what I'm sure will inevitably rise to the surface.
We've been keeping our eye on the Winter Olympics, which everyone seems to agree are largely a bummer for Americans unless they're really stoned and/or really into snowboarding. Personally, I love the over-the-top circus performer gayness of the outfits in figure skating. On fast forward, but I still love it. Oh wait, am I still typing out loud? Anyhoo, I did pay attention to Hanna Teter on Letterman being the coolest 19-year-old on the planet (SNAP! to all you bitches in the Lohan crew). And Seth Westcott winning that crack-up fest moronically misnamed "snowboard cross" was the only compelling competition thus far. The horrible "its like NASCAR on snow" or "its like a cross between NASCAR and Roller Derby" or "its like NASCAR on acid on ice, like the frozen water kind" sportcasty-lexicon cliches have been stuck on this sport by every over-30 talky dooshbag like so many bad "Kiss Me, I'm Irish" stickers on St. Patty's Day. Maybe once hockey gets underway we'll see some stories for the Americans. Even though the entire hockey tourney will be centered on Team Canada and whether Janet Jones puts much down on the medal round. Speaking of which - great piece in "Sports Illustrated" this week on the NHL gambling ring that Janet Jones has been implicated in using to put down some pretty hefty action. Including Five Grand on the cointoss in the Super Bowl. Only people with SERIOUS problems put anything more than 20 bucks on the cointoss. Maybe fiddy with family. I had a lustful connection with Janet Jones way back during her brief window of movie stardom ("American Anthem" anyone?). But I somehow think I don't really know her anymore.
For all you music geeks, two CDs on my heavy rotation the last few days are The Decemberists ("Picaresque") and the new Belle and Sebastian. Entirely different constructions - the theatricality of The Decemberists amazing sound cracks me up and the surprising Brit Pop from Belle and Sebastian sounds like a varied, chunky, full of smart-drugs Beatles progeny. Very interesting discs by very interesting groups. Highly recommended.
We're down to week until Maya's First Birthday. Party in the Park, lots of fun to come. I'd love to rent an elephant. But then I suppose I'd need to rent something for Maya. Kids can be so demanding. Hope you own upcoming social calendar is filled with "No gifts, please" free-foodies. Rock on.
We've been keeping our eye on the Winter Olympics, which everyone seems to agree are largely a bummer for Americans unless they're really stoned and/or really into snowboarding. Personally, I love the over-the-top circus performer gayness of the outfits in figure skating. On fast forward, but I still love it. Oh wait, am I still typing out loud? Anyhoo, I did pay attention to Hanna Teter on Letterman being the coolest 19-year-old on the planet (SNAP! to all you bitches in the Lohan crew). And Seth Westcott winning that crack-up fest moronically misnamed "snowboard cross" was the only compelling competition thus far. The horrible "its like NASCAR on snow" or "its like a cross between NASCAR and Roller Derby" or "its like NASCAR on acid on ice, like the frozen water kind" sportcasty-lexicon cliches have been stuck on this sport by every over-30 talky dooshbag like so many bad "Kiss Me, I'm Irish" stickers on St. Patty's Day. Maybe once hockey gets underway we'll see some stories for the Americans. Even though the entire hockey tourney will be centered on Team Canada and whether Janet Jones puts much down on the medal round. Speaking of which - great piece in "Sports Illustrated" this week on the NHL gambling ring that Janet Jones has been implicated in using to put down some pretty hefty action. Including Five Grand on the cointoss in the Super Bowl. Only people with SERIOUS problems put anything more than 20 bucks on the cointoss. Maybe fiddy with family. I had a lustful connection with Janet Jones way back during her brief window of movie stardom ("American Anthem" anyone?). But I somehow think I don't really know her anymore.
For all you music geeks, two CDs on my heavy rotation the last few days are The Decemberists ("Picaresque") and the new Belle and Sebastian. Entirely different constructions - the theatricality of The Decemberists amazing sound cracks me up and the surprising Brit Pop from Belle and Sebastian sounds like a varied, chunky, full of smart-drugs Beatles progeny. Very interesting discs by very interesting groups. Highly recommended.
We're down to week until Maya's First Birthday. Party in the Park, lots of fun to come. I'd love to rent an elephant. But then I suppose I'd need to rent something for Maya. Kids can be so demanding. Hope you own upcoming social calendar is filled with "No gifts, please" free-foodies. Rock on.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
If only the Bushies were just full of snot...
Cheney is the only story today. Sure, there's lots of stuff that should be Page 1, Above the Fold. Like the U.S. and Israel trying to undermine a democratically-elected government in the Middle East. Or the U.S. having loads of trouble getting it's groove on in Torino - if we can only pull off snowboarding and speedskating medals, we're so screwed. Not to mention the dangerous swells forming from Katrina once again as the Bushies claim they've got a plan to elimate the lack of planning we've seen previously. Sorry, none of that crap has a strong-enough aroma to overpower the stench from the Veep shooting an old guy in the face and then trying to sit on the story. This story only gets funnier as the moments tick by and the Bushies' plan to joke about it backfires repeatedly.
My favorite early update was Scott McClellan acting like a complete punk bee-yahtch at this morning's White House presser. "Atomic Wedgie Recipient" Scotty tried to start in with the jokey-jokey about everyone's University of Texas burnt orange not being worn out of fear of being shot (IN THE FACE!) by Cheney. Groan. It took about 13 seconds for the Press to once again recognize the blood in the water and circle menacingly. I haven't seen the replays yet, but it sounds like "Half as Smart as Ari" Scotty left the Briefing Room in a tiff. Until we see Counselor Whittington's injuries, this story only grows. After that, it might explode. Seeing the Bushies blame each other for the delay in reporting the shooting is especially intriguing and ironic. Yet, all the while, the theatre of the absurd's longest running production sees its run extended.
Good news and bad newz in Maya's world this morning. I'll go good news first - she started to consistently clap her hands on command yesterday. Big props to Megan for working on that one. Maya's previous "good doggy!" trick (the High Five) was losing it's uniqueness, so we're psyched. But for the bad newz - she's got a cold. Snot, goofy sneezes, a low-down gurgly sound - she's got the standard mix. It came on late yesterday and is in fuller bloom this morning. Luckily, she has no idea what ails her and it's not so bad on the spectrum of such afflictions, speaking as the person who infected her. Hope you own diseases are no longer communicable. Rock on.
My favorite early update was Scott McClellan acting like a complete punk bee-yahtch at this morning's White House presser. "Atomic Wedgie Recipient" Scotty tried to start in with the jokey-jokey about everyone's University of Texas burnt orange not being worn out of fear of being shot (IN THE FACE!) by Cheney. Groan. It took about 13 seconds for the Press to once again recognize the blood in the water and circle menacingly. I haven't seen the replays yet, but it sounds like "Half as Smart as Ari" Scotty left the Briefing Room in a tiff. Until we see Counselor Whittington's injuries, this story only grows. After that, it might explode. Seeing the Bushies blame each other for the delay in reporting the shooting is especially intriguing and ironic. Yet, all the while, the theatre of the absurd's longest running production sees its run extended.
Good news and bad newz in Maya's world this morning. I'll go good news first - she started to consistently clap her hands on command yesterday. Big props to Megan for working on that one. Maya's previous "good doggy!" trick (the High Five) was losing it's uniqueness, so we're psyched. But for the bad newz - she's got a cold. Snot, goofy sneezes, a low-down gurgly sound - she's got the standard mix. It came on late yesterday and is in fuller bloom this morning. Luckily, she has no idea what ails her and it's not so bad on the spectrum of such afflictions, speaking as the person who infected her. Hope you own diseases are no longer communicable. Rock on.
Monday, February 13, 2006
No big deal - Cheney only winged him. But like in the head and chest.
Everyone's doing their best to snicker at the story of Dick "Big Time!" Cheney shooting that 78-year-old guy in the face. A hunting accident. The Dark Lord blowing off some steam with some Texas contributer fat cats. The inevitable downplaying of being shot in the face, neck and chest by a 28-gauge shotgun from 30 feet away. This sort of comedy writes itself. I think Al Franken has done it up especially well by positing Cheney and Dubya hunting together. You just need to read it yourself. Instant classic. But from my point of view, I still can't get over the anecdote of Cheney shooting a guy in the face. Think about it - Cheney fired an errant shot with a weapon that can surely kill a man, not taking the time to see what he was shooting at or what might get hurt if he tried to go for it. Anybody who's ever hunted (and I grew up in Wisconsin doing so) should take from this that Cheney's a dangerous sumbitch. History simply MUST use this accident as a Freudian slip to show the inner Overlord at his most devastating and real. He may talk a good game. But Cheney's obviously NOT the guy to look to in a fight, whether with farm-raised-for-the-slaughter quail or the entire Muslim World. He's the guy to run away from before it's too late.
My appreciation of gallows humor inspires me to keep an eye out for any pics taken of Counselor Whittington to go along with all the "who is this not-at-all-sexy GOP contributer?" stories getting ink this morning. This poor doofus already looks like he's covered in funeral parlor make-up.
Maya's got a new Radio Flyer walker-wagonish contraption over the weekend. There's not much in the way of steering possibilities and our teeny apartment doesn't give her much more than a short runway. You just kinda latch the kid on and hope they don't lean so far forward that they faceplant. Maya leans in too much unless you hold either her or the wagon back a bit. But if you let her go, it's amazing to see that she'll hold on to the very end. We need to take her outside and just let her cruise down a few blocks of sidewalk. Which makes me think that there should be toddler sizes of kneepads.
Anyhoo, time to get some real work done. Hope your own tangents are quickly redirected today. Rock on.
My appreciation of gallows humor inspires me to keep an eye out for any pics taken of Counselor Whittington to go along with all the "who is this not-at-all-sexy GOP contributer?" stories getting ink this morning. This poor doofus already looks like he's covered in funeral parlor make-up.
Maya's got a new Radio Flyer walker-wagonish contraption over the weekend. There's not much in the way of steering possibilities and our teeny apartment doesn't give her much more than a short runway. You just kinda latch the kid on and hope they don't lean so far forward that they faceplant. Maya leans in too much unless you hold either her or the wagon back a bit. But if you let her go, it's amazing to see that she'll hold on to the very end. We need to take her outside and just let her cruise down a few blocks of sidewalk. Which makes me think that there should be toddler sizes of kneepads.
Anyhoo, time to get some real work done. Hope your own tangents are quickly redirected today. Rock on.
Friday, February 10, 2006
"See, these terrorists. Well, they hate your Liberty, too."
Michael "Heckuva Job!" Brown gave all of the DC press corps a caffeine enema this morning. And reports have surfaced detailing how the Bushies were given the chance to quash his testimony using the argument of executive privilege. Of all people, Harriet Miers declined to stop Brownie from testifying. I haven't seen the video yet, but his confrontation with Norm "Son of a" Coleman sounds like a stunner. Brownie will be accused by the Bushies of trying to push blame back up the pipe to those above. That would typically fly, given that Brownie's obviously a wackjob. This time, however, I don't think it's gonna work when you look at what else is out there. The NYTimes went large this morning with a bundle of email records showing that the Bushies knew of the levee breaches MUCH earlier than they have claimed. Dubya may not have known. But his Chief of Staff (Andy Card) definitely knew. Gulp. If you're a GOP attack monkey - DoubleGulp. Expect plenty of traction on this story as we slam into the weekend with only the Winter Olympics to cushion our media's post-NFL detox.
Right from the start yesterday, Dubya talkin' up the so-called "Liberty Tower" plot in LA bothered me. I don't know LA all that well, certainly not downtown. But it's the Library Tower, and the timing of this disclosure in a speech to the National Guard smelled like leftover lutefisk. WAY fishy. Keith Olberman knocked the stuffing out of that disclosure - entirely worth the streamed minutes to watch it for the insight offered in a great set-up and concluding interview with Gerald Posner. Like everything else from the Bushies when it comes to their War on Terror, require verification. This alleged plot was the wrong modus operandi, the wrong timing and the wrong coordination for al Qaeda. Not to dwell too long, but Dubya was even dumb enough to require correction from his Staff on the actual target he described in the speech. He's always been a moron, but his once-feared Staff is now so clumsy. Could be a long three-years for some of those tools. Looks like one chap's been fired already this week - in this case maybe for getting Dubya in front of that Coretta Scott King memorial. Stay tuned for all the greasy details.
Maya didn't take too kindly to Collette this morning, even though it didn't seem to faze Collette at all. Maya's definitely a little clingy on such occasions. She's a strong little monkey so I'm not immune to getting a few dings from the handoff. Hope your own day is bruise-free. Rock on.
Right from the start yesterday, Dubya talkin' up the so-called "Liberty Tower" plot in LA bothered me. I don't know LA all that well, certainly not downtown. But it's the Library Tower, and the timing of this disclosure in a speech to the National Guard smelled like leftover lutefisk. WAY fishy. Keith Olberman knocked the stuffing out of that disclosure - entirely worth the streamed minutes to watch it for the insight offered in a great set-up and concluding interview with Gerald Posner. Like everything else from the Bushies when it comes to their War on Terror, require verification. This alleged plot was the wrong modus operandi, the wrong timing and the wrong coordination for al Qaeda. Not to dwell too long, but Dubya was even dumb enough to require correction from his Staff on the actual target he described in the speech. He's always been a moron, but his once-feared Staff is now so clumsy. Could be a long three-years for some of those tools. Looks like one chap's been fired already this week - in this case maybe for getting Dubya in front of that Coretta Scott King memorial. Stay tuned for all the greasy details.
Maya didn't take too kindly to Collette this morning, even though it didn't seem to faze Collette at all. Maya's definitely a little clingy on such occasions. She's a strong little monkey so I'm not immune to getting a few dings from the handoff. Hope your own day is bruise-free. Rock on.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
But if I see him again, he DEFINITELY owes me $13...
The Bushies broke down - they've agreed to brief all the Intelliigence Committees and anyone else with a serious gripe about their so-called "terrorist surveillance program". Operational stuff only, which as far as I've been able to determine deals with the scope and analysis of data - none of the "who?" and "why?" that the public will increasingly demand to know. A HUGE cave on their part, nonetheless. They know that their legal justifications have taken some major hits and a bunch of GOPers looking at tough races this Fall needed to make a point of opposing the program being kept secret. Many of them such as Pat Roberts, Peter Hoekstra, and all the GOP leadership will try to wash it down with the empty defense that it's all perfectly legit. I think the tough questions are just starting to come forward.
Best NSA-related piece today - a story in the Christian Science Monitor laying out a bunch of the specifics on the "dataveillance" programs the Department of Homeland Security has at their disposal. Great reporting and a ton of insider-sounding dope on this new version of "Total Information Awareness". The Bushies even came up with spooky acronyms for this updated crime like ADVISE (think " USA PATRIOT Act" - or "Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism"). Slowly but surely the drip, drip, drip of pertinent info continues to trickle out of our nation's newsy pipeline.
In local newz, my neighborhood lost a friendly homeless man yesterday. He's not dead. Just traveling, as far as I know. Don't know his name, but he started calling me "Mr. Viking" after seeing me in a Minnesota Gophers t-shirt over a year ago. Eventually he started calling me "Dad" and he was always friendly and gracious with Maya, masking his rotten teeth and obvious willingness to drink rubbing alcohol or whatever was cheapest these days out on the Street. Just over a month ago after those 12 miners were killed at the Sago Mine in West Virginia, our shaggy friend told me that he lost family in that tragedy. I'd noticed his accent before, but I was finally able to place it...or so I thought. If he was giving me a line of crap, it was an original and current one. So I gave him some cash - more than I ever give a homeless person, no matter the circumstances. My expectation is that he partied it away that particular Friday night. Whenever we saw him thereafter, he really turned on the charm. One time he veered from our bright and suprisingly upbeat rapport and confided in me that he needed to get to the VA Hospital for his liver. I gave him more cash, thinking that I'd been led down the wrong road by this skinny, hairy drunk and that we'd now have a less amicable exchange. But then I saw him yesterday with three pieces of luggage, surprisingly clean and well-packed in a camper's sense of balance. He greeted me with a "Hey, Dad" and then a "Hello Miss Princess" to Maya in the backpack. When I asked what he was up to, he described needing to hop a bus back to West Virginia. So if he lied the first time West Virginnie came up, he's either really consistent, only partly full of crap or completely legit. I prefer to be an optimist in such human endeavors. I wished him luck and gave him a couple bucks. He hadn't asked, but I knew he needed it wherever he was headed with his life in tow. He said, "listen to your Daddy, Miss Princess" and backed away waving earnestly. I tried to follow up with a "safe travels" or a "stay safe" - came out more like "stay travels". Didn't matter, he'd already turned back toward his march to the Greyhound station downtown. Bet he made it back yonder. Or makes it - San Francisco to West Virginia on a Greyhound probably takes a week and a half.
Hope your own travels today have convenient bathrooms available. Rock on.
Best NSA-related piece today - a story in the Christian Science Monitor laying out a bunch of the specifics on the "dataveillance" programs the Department of Homeland Security has at their disposal. Great reporting and a ton of insider-sounding dope on this new version of "Total Information Awareness". The Bushies even came up with spooky acronyms for this updated crime like ADVISE (think " USA PATRIOT Act" - or "Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism"). Slowly but surely the drip, drip, drip of pertinent info continues to trickle out of our nation's newsy pipeline.
In local newz, my neighborhood lost a friendly homeless man yesterday. He's not dead. Just traveling, as far as I know. Don't know his name, but he started calling me "Mr. Viking" after seeing me in a Minnesota Gophers t-shirt over a year ago. Eventually he started calling me "Dad" and he was always friendly and gracious with Maya, masking his rotten teeth and obvious willingness to drink rubbing alcohol or whatever was cheapest these days out on the Street. Just over a month ago after those 12 miners were killed at the Sago Mine in West Virginia, our shaggy friend told me that he lost family in that tragedy. I'd noticed his accent before, but I was finally able to place it...or so I thought. If he was giving me a line of crap, it was an original and current one. So I gave him some cash - more than I ever give a homeless person, no matter the circumstances. My expectation is that he partied it away that particular Friday night. Whenever we saw him thereafter, he really turned on the charm. One time he veered from our bright and suprisingly upbeat rapport and confided in me that he needed to get to the VA Hospital for his liver. I gave him more cash, thinking that I'd been led down the wrong road by this skinny, hairy drunk and that we'd now have a less amicable exchange. But then I saw him yesterday with three pieces of luggage, surprisingly clean and well-packed in a camper's sense of balance. He greeted me with a "Hey, Dad" and then a "Hello Miss Princess" to Maya in the backpack. When I asked what he was up to, he described needing to hop a bus back to West Virginia. So if he lied the first time West Virginnie came up, he's either really consistent, only partly full of crap or completely legit. I prefer to be an optimist in such human endeavors. I wished him luck and gave him a couple bucks. He hadn't asked, but I knew he needed it wherever he was headed with his life in tow. He said, "listen to your Daddy, Miss Princess" and backed away waving earnestly. I tried to follow up with a "safe travels" or a "stay safe" - came out more like "stay travels". Didn't matter, he'd already turned back toward his march to the Greyhound station downtown. Bet he made it back yonder. Or makes it - San Francisco to West Virginia on a Greyhound probably takes a week and a half.
Hope your own travels today have convenient bathrooms available. Rock on.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
"Susan, be a doll and forward me Karl's Outlook addressbook when you have a sec."
If you've got an iron stomach, you should listen to Cheney's interview with Jim Lehrer broadcast last night. There's more red meat in this 35-minute exchange than in all of Omaha. The horrendous half-truths and threateningly-cadenced tone that Big Dick offers gives hardcore Conservatives a hard-on. But I just think the man's utterly cracked. Is there anyone more Orwellian in your lifetime of watching politics? He's WAAAAY up at Number One in mine. He seems willing to offer absolutely nothing to his critics - the Bushies control the flow of info, War is Hell, sit down and shut up. Chilling. And compelling. Just imagine how much the rest of the World focuses on the occasional Cheney sighting. In this particular staging, Jim Lehrer got in some cagey questions. Calling Cheney on the claim that the so-called "terrorist surveillance program" had saved "thousands of American lives" was true balls. If there's any justice left in this Country, Cheney will be checked for the truth in that claim over the next few years. Regardless, the Bushies are worried. They know that Gonzo performed poorly at the Judiciary Committee. Cheney was damage control. I don't think the Bushies got what they were hoping for.
For those of you awaiting the Abramoff scandal's next juicy bit o' calamari, the WSJ has a complicated write-up detailing Abramoff's connections to David Safavian and Karl Rove. The best bit BY FAR - Karl Rove hired Abramoff's assistant (Susan Ralston) to work in the same capacity for him INSIDE the White House. How do you best make sure someone powerful always gets your calls? I'd answer "get that person to hire my secretary". Can't get much more direct than that. Lots of other grease in that story to come. Dubya can't avoid it forever, and I believe that the Bushies will be forced to acknowledge that eventually.
I think Sarah correctly diagnosed that Maya's getting her baby molars. No epic disturbances yet, but we'll keep you posted. Hope your own jaws are feeling fine. Rock on.
For those of you awaiting the Abramoff scandal's next juicy bit o' calamari, the WSJ has a complicated write-up detailing Abramoff's connections to David Safavian and Karl Rove. The best bit BY FAR - Karl Rove hired Abramoff's assistant (Susan Ralston) to work in the same capacity for him INSIDE the White House. How do you best make sure someone powerful always gets your calls? I'd answer "get that person to hire my secretary". Can't get much more direct than that. Lots of other grease in that story to come. Dubya can't avoid it forever, and I believe that the Bushies will be forced to acknowledge that eventually.
I think Sarah correctly diagnosed that Maya's getting her baby molars. No epic disturbances yet, but we'll keep you posted. Hope your own jaws are feeling fine. Rock on.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Dubya heads for a Wipeout!
Dubya's budget is getting the ink this morning. I'm waiting for a GOP attack monkey to call it a "tough love" budget or something equally absurd. Their primary hope is to make the tax cuts permanent. Then, the Bushies want us to ignore all the sticky policy stuff (Wars currently underway or impending, the Alternative Minimum Tax mess, the ree-dee-cu-lousy new Medicare drug program, etc.). And we're still looking at projected over-$200 Billion annual deficits until 2010, when it dips to $180 Billion. To call this irresponsible would be overly kind. This is a bucket of spit.
The first viewship numbers on the Super Bowl are in, and the Country was definitely interested. Biggest numbers for any TV program since '96. Over 90 Million American viewers. I never buy all that "billion viewers worldwide" crapola. But big numbers here are interesting. Too bad it was such a bunk game. GoDaddy.com may have gotten tons of clueless soft-core porn traffic thanks to their TV ads, but I don't think the NFL gained any converts from the previously disinclined thanks to that snoozer.
You know you're living in California when the all local newzieness features exasperated reports of today's 2006 Mavericks Surf Contest at Half Moon Bay - supposedly the coolest and most dangerous big wave surf contest on the Planet. I'd love to head down there, but I'll have to rely on the TV coverage we'll surely see wall to wall tonight. I'm no surfer, but even I'm interested in this fest. The forecasters have been talking about 3-story-high waves. Nutty.
Hope your own waves break in the right direction all day. Rock on.
The first viewship numbers on the Super Bowl are in, and the Country was definitely interested. Biggest numbers for any TV program since '96. Over 90 Million American viewers. I never buy all that "billion viewers worldwide" crapola. But big numbers here are interesting. Too bad it was such a bunk game. GoDaddy.com may have gotten tons of clueless soft-core porn traffic thanks to their TV ads, but I don't think the NFL gained any converts from the previously disinclined thanks to that snoozer.
You know you're living in California when the all local newzieness features exasperated reports of today's 2006 Mavericks Surf Contest at Half Moon Bay - supposedly the coolest and most dangerous big wave surf contest on the Planet. I'd love to head down there, but I'll have to rely on the TV coverage we'll surely see wall to wall tonight. I'm no surfer, but even I'm interested in this fest. The forecasters have been talking about 3-story-high waves. Nutty.
Hope your own waves break in the right direction all day. Rock on.
Monday, February 06, 2006
"Thanks Mean Joe!"
Watching Alberto Gonzales vigorously defend the NSA surveillance program before the Senate Judiciary Committee this morning was like mainlining Drano. Which I hear is pretty bad. Gonzo's pretty much always a slippery little pecker, but in this case he was also gratingly standoffish. Specter and Leahy landed the early punches, Kennedy rambled but hit him with a barrage. Everyone's got a gripe, probably even the GOP bootlickers like Jeff Sessions. They're totally gonna call Ashcroft and the Assistant AG (James Comey) who objected to a reauthorization when Ash-hole-croft was in the hospital. Hopefully the Committee will at least swear them in before testifying. Gonzo didn't swear to the oath because the Republicans voted that he shouldn't. Does that make sense to anyone? The Attorney General - the highest ranking law enforcement officer in the Country - doesn't testify before Congress under oath? Like I said, mainlining Drano.
Like most sportsfans out there, I'm still trying to digest yesterday's Super Bowl XL. The Steelers did more than enough to pants-to-the-ankles the hapless Seahags. Some of you might recall that I was all Seahags, all the way. But I must admit that I was rooting for the Steelers, led by my wallet and ego. I run a football pool with friends and my Steelers pick netted me the final two pots and rescued my season famously. The guy I beat out lives in Seattle and was fully ensconsed in the 12th Man phenomenon up yonder even though he's actually a manic Packer fan from Milwaukee. I fear it's extra grey and bleak for him and so many other formerly excited fans in the Northwest. Still, everyone should be able to see the poetry in Bill Cowher and Jerome Bettis getting their Championships, more focus on the Old School Rooneys, and Pittsburgh getting a well-deserved return to sporty prominence. This is like when the NY Rangers won the Stanley Cup in the mid-90s after decades of nothing. Not nearly like the Red Sox finally winning in '04, but from the same distillation. The Seahags were pretty much uninspired across the Board. Sure, there were some inexplicable calls from the refs. But the Steelmen had enough of everything and got a few huge plays. They seriously WORKED the Playoffs this year. Winning on the road, surprising everyone at each step along the way. They deflated the Bengals, dessimated the Colts, crushed the Broncos, and stymied the Seahags. They had some bigmouths (Porter) and some treacly storylines (Bettis returning to his childhood home, Detroit, and seeing that his old neighborhood looks like an American Baghdad). They had the thing I love but far too seldom see in big-time sports. They had zazz. And now that zazz will be dipped in amber and preserved forever like a perfect bee, clad in yellow and black.
Maya has been lighting up the emotional guilt meter when we try the handoff with Megan in the morning. Makes me wonder if kids understand the reality of the weekend when they're way young. On some level they must think, "Yay!" with everyone at home and visitors coming through the door and football mumbling in the background. And then suddenly, it's back to that other schedule. Drag.
Winter Olympics will be a good end o' the NFL season methadone in the coming weeks. I secretly want to be a luge racer. Solo - none of that silly two-person crap. I'm a purist. Hope your own events are being held at modern and impressive venues. Rock on.
Like most sportsfans out there, I'm still trying to digest yesterday's Super Bowl XL. The Steelers did more than enough to pants-to-the-ankles the hapless Seahags. Some of you might recall that I was all Seahags, all the way. But I must admit that I was rooting for the Steelers, led by my wallet and ego. I run a football pool with friends and my Steelers pick netted me the final two pots and rescued my season famously. The guy I beat out lives in Seattle and was fully ensconsed in the 12th Man phenomenon up yonder even though he's actually a manic Packer fan from Milwaukee. I fear it's extra grey and bleak for him and so many other formerly excited fans in the Northwest. Still, everyone should be able to see the poetry in Bill Cowher and Jerome Bettis getting their Championships, more focus on the Old School Rooneys, and Pittsburgh getting a well-deserved return to sporty prominence. This is like when the NY Rangers won the Stanley Cup in the mid-90s after decades of nothing. Not nearly like the Red Sox finally winning in '04, but from the same distillation. The Seahags were pretty much uninspired across the Board. Sure, there were some inexplicable calls from the refs. But the Steelmen had enough of everything and got a few huge plays. They seriously WORKED the Playoffs this year. Winning on the road, surprising everyone at each step along the way. They deflated the Bengals, dessimated the Colts, crushed the Broncos, and stymied the Seahags. They had some bigmouths (Porter) and some treacly storylines (Bettis returning to his childhood home, Detroit, and seeing that his old neighborhood looks like an American Baghdad). They had the thing I love but far too seldom see in big-time sports. They had zazz. And now that zazz will be dipped in amber and preserved forever like a perfect bee, clad in yellow and black.
Maya has been lighting up the emotional guilt meter when we try the handoff with Megan in the morning. Makes me wonder if kids understand the reality of the weekend when they're way young. On some level they must think, "Yay!" with everyone at home and visitors coming through the door and football mumbling in the background. And then suddenly, it's back to that other schedule. Drag.
Winter Olympics will be a good end o' the NFL season methadone in the coming weeks. I secretly want to be a luge racer. Solo - none of that silly two-person crap. I'm a purist. Hope your own events are being held at modern and impressive venues. Rock on.
Friday, February 03, 2006
Rummy swings for the fences and/or begins his new Rope-a-Dope plan
The first of this morning's "You've GOT To Be Kidding Me!" stories is the realization that House Republicans think the Abramhoff issue is no big deal. By picking John "It's Not Boner It's" Boehner who was the House Republican Liason to the K Street Project and has spoken recently about how House Republicans were overreacting, they've played their hand. Roy Blunt goes nowhere - stays Majority Whip and remains the eyes and ears and mouth of Tom Delay in the Leadership. Hastert only stayed sober long enough to get through that Conference vote. He'll be a wreck today. Look for Boehner (who looks and sounds like drunken Chevy Chase in the role of the crooked politician) to stub his toes pretty darn often in the months ahead as he stumbles toward the cameras. For the Dems, it only helps soil the Majority to add more whispers of lobbyist-supplied taint. Whether they can act on the Majority's taint, is another story altogether.
Secondly, with all the crap going horribly wrong for the Pentagon they certainly didn't need Rummy's speech at the National Press Club yesterday. Aside from dealing with the "Long War" assessment given for the struggle with al Qaeda, Rummy had the impending leak of the size of the new appropriations request. The new total through September for the Wars in Afghanistan and Iraq - $331 Billion. This year will cost $120 Billion. $10 Billion a month. For the foreseeable future (until at least a year from now). For all the work the Bushies have done to quash the usage, it's an absolute quagmire. But there are other parts of the World, and yesterday Rummy pointed a horribly misguided finger at our own hemisphere. He compared the election of Hugo Chavez in Venezuela to the election of Hitler in Germany. Seriously. And even though that's enough to tag him criminally insane and dangerous, Rummy went on to belabor the point about how often times Democracy comes back to bite you in the ass. I think I smell an exit strategy justification for Iraq forming...
Our Other Nanny, Collette, showed this morning freshly back from Utah where she saw some films at Sundance. It took Maya a moment to deal with the curveball of it not being Megan, so we chatted for a few minutes and she said that "Little Miss Sunshine" was the hit of the Festival from her point of view. Greg Kinear, Toni Collette and Steve Carrell. I see HUGEness in Steve Carrell's future. But he'll still always be mostly Produce Pete to me. Hope your own sketches kill all day. Rock on.
Secondly, with all the crap going horribly wrong for the Pentagon they certainly didn't need Rummy's speech at the National Press Club yesterday. Aside from dealing with the "Long War" assessment given for the struggle with al Qaeda, Rummy had the impending leak of the size of the new appropriations request. The new total through September for the Wars in Afghanistan and Iraq - $331 Billion. This year will cost $120 Billion. $10 Billion a month. For the foreseeable future (until at least a year from now). For all the work the Bushies have done to quash the usage, it's an absolute quagmire. But there are other parts of the World, and yesterday Rummy pointed a horribly misguided finger at our own hemisphere. He compared the election of Hugo Chavez in Venezuela to the election of Hitler in Germany. Seriously. And even though that's enough to tag him criminally insane and dangerous, Rummy went on to belabor the point about how often times Democracy comes back to bite you in the ass. I think I smell an exit strategy justification for Iraq forming...
Our Other Nanny, Collette, showed this morning freshly back from Utah where she saw some films at Sundance. It took Maya a moment to deal with the curveball of it not being Megan, so we chatted for a few minutes and she said that "Little Miss Sunshine" was the hit of the Festival from her point of view. Greg Kinear, Toni Collette and Steve Carrell. I see HUGEness in Steve Carrell's future. But he'll still always be mostly Produce Pete to me. Hope your own sketches kill all day. Rock on.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Dubya sees his shadow - 6 more weeks of ratings in the low 40s forecast
If you had to find a place to celebrate a ceremonial sighting of a rodent, I'd certainly suggest a place named Gobbler's Knob. Yes, that's where Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow. Somehow that translates to six more weeks of winter. And in the obligatory recap of the festivities there, I saw my Statistic of the Day. Phil almost always sees his shadow. Only 14 times out of 119 years has he not seen his shadow. The last time was 1999. This year, the whole thing was a Steelers rally. Good for them. But the Seahags are still gonna win.
Dubya's taking some hits for his SOTU buffet menu of programs. The GOP hates his energy programs, he's opened some wounds for foreign policy fights to come, and his domestic mish-mash is getting hammered. Whatever happened to the post-Speech Bounce, Dubya? Your darn bright folks were supposed to razzle-dazzle all us reality-based community folks. I revise my rating from yesterday. Definitely a D.
Maya's settled in pretty well with Megan, the Nanny. Megan's still having problems getting Maya to eat consistently. Overall, Maya's appetite is growing and she goes for more new foods. Mainly just tofu, eggs, and bready products. Pretzels are her friends. Her balance is spot-on. No walking, though. She still forgets to hold onto something when she's standing often enough to convince me that she's ready to go. Maybe we need to get her some bigger space. Like take her to a carpeting store and let her loose. She has gotten up once each of the last three nights and needed a bottle to settle her down. Growth spurt is our hopeful bet. We need to work with her more to encourage her to make her thoughts into words. Otherwise, she seems happy. Funny, loud happy. Hope your own spirits are up. Rock on.
Dubya's taking some hits for his SOTU buffet menu of programs. The GOP hates his energy programs, he's opened some wounds for foreign policy fights to come, and his domestic mish-mash is getting hammered. Whatever happened to the post-Speech Bounce, Dubya? Your darn bright folks were supposed to razzle-dazzle all us reality-based community folks. I revise my rating from yesterday. Definitely a D.
Maya's settled in pretty well with Megan, the Nanny. Megan's still having problems getting Maya to eat consistently. Overall, Maya's appetite is growing and she goes for more new foods. Mainly just tofu, eggs, and bready products. Pretzels are her friends. Her balance is spot-on. No walking, though. She still forgets to hold onto something when she's standing often enough to convince me that she's ready to go. Maybe we need to get her some bigger space. Like take her to a carpeting store and let her loose. She has gotten up once each of the last three nights and needed a bottle to settle her down. Growth spurt is our hopeful bet. We need to work with her more to encourage her to make her thoughts into words. Otherwise, she seems happy. Funny, loud happy. Hope your own spirits are up. Rock on.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Total Information Awareness resurfaces
Dubya's rating for last night's SOTU Speech - C minus. Although it should be a solid D, I'm giving him a bonus for looking like such a wuss. Still, it was just a big ol' turd of a speech. Nothing of substance, and my notes below were meant to be blogged last night. TiVo cut me short. I didn't care and just gave up. Editing the Bushies re-tread, uninspired, jingoistic lecturing into something worthwhile would be impossible. "A hopeful society..." Jeez, Dubya really drove that new "axis of evil" catchphrase into the ground last night. I'm sure the Bushies thought this sounded most like "it's morning in America". The "heroes" were BOR-RING - not a single Lenny Skutnik in the bunch. In many ways, Cindy Sheehan stole the limelight with a double-misdemeanor t-shirt. Sure to be the biggest search result from the speech in the Googling world today.
(all times translated to Eastern Standard, even for that weird part of Indiana that doesn't observe Daylight Savings Time)
• 9:07 PM - Alito, smug as a new Senior at a Princeton Eating Club midget bowling kegger.
• 9:09 Dubya makes his way in, really yuckin’ it up with Sheila Jackson Lee and Stephanie Tubbs Jones. Workin' on his street cred. Oh, and then he straightens up when he sees the guys in uniform.
• 9:10 John King on CNN says “(Dubya’s) a likable guy.” Yea, well then John King's a folksy dooshbag.
• Just seeing Hastert and Cheney sitting together raises the nation’s cholesterol 2 points.
• First hero introduction with creepy “they’re together now in heaven” overtones – Coretta Scott King. No representative made the gate.
• 9:16 Bin Laden identified by name for first time. “Allowing the violent to inherent the Earth.” Holy Biblical Overstatement, Batman!
• “There is no peace in retreat. And there is no honor in retreat.” Hubris never leads to true honor by always spurning retreat. I think Ted Baxter said that.
• Sarah lets it fly - “John Kerry’s a pussy for standing (for that line).” And tells me I can use it. Thanks, Hon.
• 9:22 “We are winning.” No word on what.
• Responsible criticism vs. defeatism – horribly overwritten politico-bunko. “Second guessing is not a strategy.” Neither is not having a strategy.
• 9:26 Hero alert! Soldiers. Bomb-sniffing German Shepard. Family of dead soldier (Dan Clay) introduced. CNN shot of soldier with bomb dog, both fighting back tears. Dubya with that TERRIBLE half-wink/half-smirk.
• “Dark vision of hatred and fear.” Dubya endorses the new album by Motorhead.
• 9:30 Calling out Iran. Everyone sychronize your Countdown Clocks - our new War is on the table. When Dubya starts speaking directly to the people of a Country, it's on. All that’s to be decided is the when.
• Hard shift to poverty and all its chums. Bleak, bleak, bleak. Turn that fake frown upside down, Dubya.
• 9:34 Patriot Act push. Looked like bad calesthenics in a 3rd Grade gym class seeing the GOP stand up.
• 9:35 NSA eves-dropping defense rundown. Hard spin. With snark.
• “Freedom is on the March.” Weird-ass request of both parties. No Dems should sign anything until their lawyers take a good luck at it.
• Calling for the Line Item Veto in a room full of Senators (who all want to be President) is like a motion for an evening of free cocaine at a fraternity convention. Everyone gets excited for a little while.
• 9:43 Dems draw the first blood of the evening when Dubya’s failed Social Security plan draws applause. And then he lumped Medicare and Medicaid into the call for action. Now THAT’s funny.
• All the domestic stuff blended together like a college freshman’s pasta sauce.
• Dubya tells Congress to be proud of itself. Awwww.
• Anti-cloning strangeness.
• Dubya’s hair is on the old guy side of his repertoire. Not his best hair day, by far. Laura looks, however, like her hair is one of the most successful programs in the past few years. Well worth a war, probably according to Ann Coulter.
• CRAP! Missed the end of it. Live TV jump cuts to Tim Blaine or Kaine or Rogaine. He looks like one of the Darrins from TV's "Bewitched".
(end o' notes)
I'm much more interested in what extent of things the Bushies are REALLY talking about when they mention the "Terrorist Surveillance Program". Remember "Total Information Awareness" back in 2001-2002. I suggest that's what we're looking at here. Just imagine that the NSA actually has a data mining project that covers absolutely everything, including you reading this and me writing this and all stops besides and all calls you make and everything you ever commit to the airwaves. Unless you're talking to someone face-to-face in your life, literally everything else. And now imagine how hard the Bushies will fight to keep people from knowing that they have this new weapon of monitoring their "enemies". Because you have to assume that someone will eventually use it against his or her political opponents, even if these horrifically sanctimonious Bushies actually believe that they'll always stay (wink, wink) pure and legally-justified. Will anyone stand up against the Program THEN? Who besides Cindy Sheehan's going to stand up against this pattern of abuse by this Administration? As we all saw last night, Dubya's not going anywhere no matter how diminished his political power to affect legislation may be.
But the time has come to move on. Lots of news out there, lots of reason to stay informed. Hope you're finding your own reasons for excitment today. Rock on.
(all times translated to Eastern Standard, even for that weird part of Indiana that doesn't observe Daylight Savings Time)
• 9:07 PM - Alito, smug as a new Senior at a Princeton Eating Club midget bowling kegger.
• 9:09 Dubya makes his way in, really yuckin’ it up with Sheila Jackson Lee and Stephanie Tubbs Jones. Workin' on his street cred. Oh, and then he straightens up when he sees the guys in uniform.
• 9:10 John King on CNN says “(Dubya’s) a likable guy.” Yea, well then John King's a folksy dooshbag.
• Just seeing Hastert and Cheney sitting together raises the nation’s cholesterol 2 points.
• First hero introduction with creepy “they’re together now in heaven” overtones – Coretta Scott King. No representative made the gate.
• 9:16 Bin Laden identified by name for first time. “Allowing the violent to inherent the Earth.” Holy Biblical Overstatement, Batman!
• “There is no peace in retreat. And there is no honor in retreat.” Hubris never leads to true honor by always spurning retreat. I think Ted Baxter said that.
• Sarah lets it fly - “John Kerry’s a pussy for standing (for that line).” And tells me I can use it. Thanks, Hon.
• 9:22 “We are winning.” No word on what.
• Responsible criticism vs. defeatism – horribly overwritten politico-bunko. “Second guessing is not a strategy.” Neither is not having a strategy.
• 9:26 Hero alert! Soldiers. Bomb-sniffing German Shepard. Family of dead soldier (Dan Clay) introduced. CNN shot of soldier with bomb dog, both fighting back tears. Dubya with that TERRIBLE half-wink/half-smirk.
• “Dark vision of hatred and fear.” Dubya endorses the new album by Motorhead.
• 9:30 Calling out Iran. Everyone sychronize your Countdown Clocks - our new War is on the table. When Dubya starts speaking directly to the people of a Country, it's on. All that’s to be decided is the when.
• Hard shift to poverty and all its chums. Bleak, bleak, bleak. Turn that fake frown upside down, Dubya.
• 9:34 Patriot Act push. Looked like bad calesthenics in a 3rd Grade gym class seeing the GOP stand up.
• 9:35 NSA eves-dropping defense rundown. Hard spin. With snark.
• “Freedom is on the March.” Weird-ass request of both parties. No Dems should sign anything until their lawyers take a good luck at it.
• Calling for the Line Item Veto in a room full of Senators (who all want to be President) is like a motion for an evening of free cocaine at a fraternity convention. Everyone gets excited for a little while.
• 9:43 Dems draw the first blood of the evening when Dubya’s failed Social Security plan draws applause. And then he lumped Medicare and Medicaid into the call for action. Now THAT’s funny.
• All the domestic stuff blended together like a college freshman’s pasta sauce.
• Dubya tells Congress to be proud of itself. Awwww.
• Anti-cloning strangeness.
• Dubya’s hair is on the old guy side of his repertoire. Not his best hair day, by far. Laura looks, however, like her hair is one of the most successful programs in the past few years. Well worth a war, probably according to Ann Coulter.
• CRAP! Missed the end of it. Live TV jump cuts to Tim Blaine or Kaine or Rogaine. He looks like one of the Darrins from TV's "Bewitched".
(end o' notes)
I'm much more interested in what extent of things the Bushies are REALLY talking about when they mention the "Terrorist Surveillance Program". Remember "Total Information Awareness" back in 2001-2002. I suggest that's what we're looking at here. Just imagine that the NSA actually has a data mining project that covers absolutely everything, including you reading this and me writing this and all stops besides and all calls you make and everything you ever commit to the airwaves. Unless you're talking to someone face-to-face in your life, literally everything else. And now imagine how hard the Bushies will fight to keep people from knowing that they have this new weapon of monitoring their "enemies". Because you have to assume that someone will eventually use it against his or her political opponents, even if these horrifically sanctimonious Bushies actually believe that they'll always stay (wink, wink) pure and legally-justified. Will anyone stand up against the Program THEN? Who besides Cindy Sheehan's going to stand up against this pattern of abuse by this Administration? As we all saw last night, Dubya's not going anywhere no matter how diminished his political power to affect legislation may be.
But the time has come to move on. Lots of news out there, lots of reason to stay informed. Hope you're finding your own reasons for excitment today. Rock on.
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