The day after Christmas in Wisconsin, home safely in Seattle. Ahhhh.

The day after Christmas in Seattle, home safely from Wisconsin. Ahhhh.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

For my immediate family, this Christmas was something of a split affair. Sarah had to work, Maya and I went to Wisconsin. It seems as though most of the Nation faced some sort of wintry craziness. I was lucky - we got out of Seattle before many days of snowfall gummed up air traffic. And then we got back in yesterday afternoon. I'll spare everyone the tactical details - precarious drives, Maya barfing almost on an ironic cue as we left Minnesota by car after arrival on the way to Northern Wisconsin and then as we re-entered the State on our way to the airport to leave for Seattle, more winter than even Cold Miser might have hoped for in that most demented of 1970s Holiday specials. But we made it. The most telling irony - I got stuck in the intersection half a block from our front door last night as we turned onto our street during our triumphant return. Amazingly, a trio of good Samaritans (or were they shepards?) helped me push the Volvo into the only possible curbside parking spot. It was a true Boxing Day miracle. Regardless, what follows are a handful of shots from our Wisconsin visit. Enjoy.

Forest Drive Series #1

Forest Drive Series #1
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Walking along the gravel road that runs through my family's homestead property is always a delight in the winter. But this year it was especially expressive. On this particular Christmas Day, the air was crisp and for the first time in days it wasn't snowing.

Forest Drive Series #2

Forest Drive Series #2
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Forest Drive Series #3

Forest Drive Series #3
Originally uploaded by emaggie

One of our Christmas Eve art projects - Maya and her cousins decorated pieces of our failed gingerbread house with all the fixings. Nobody complained.

One of our Christmas Eve art projects - decorating the pieces of our failed gingerbread house with all the fixings. Nobody complained.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

The whole reason Maya loves sledding appears to be the post-hill hot chocolate.

The whole reason Maya loves sledding appears to be the post-hill hot chocolate.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Uncle Jake pulled sherpa duty on the sledding hill with no complaint. None from Maya either.

Uncle Jake pulled sherpa duty on the sledding hill with no complaint. None from Maya either.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

"Why can't I find one that tastes like hot chocolate?"

"Why can't I find one that tastes like hot chocolate?"
Originally uploaded by emaggie

If this isn't a kid having fun in the snow, I'll never take another picture.

If this isn't a kid having fun in the snow, I'll never take another picture.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Maya and Grandma on the piano - a fine duet, practiced again and again.

Maya and Grandma on the piano - a fine duet, practiced again and again.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Maya got some minor league shoveling experience this week before we head back to Wisconsin.

Maya got some minor league shoveling experience this week before we head back to Wisconsin.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Seattle is so screwy. All week long it was "Henny Penny, the sky is falling - have you seen the forecast?" Maya's daycare closed four of five days. Before a mandatory two-week break. For the "Jewish Community Center". Cough. But let's recap their week in response to Seattle's uncharacteristically slightly colder weather. Monday - closed due to frozen pipes (nighttime low - 29 degrees). Tuesday - normalcy. Wednesday - um, we're closed again because we watched the weather this morning (note: it started to snow in the early AM THURSDAY). Thursday - well, what do you expect since it's actually snowing a two inches. Friday - closed because it snowed yesterday and the City hasn't bought a snowplow since the Eisenhower Administration. And now we're in the break between that ridiculousness and...WHAT MAY BE THE PERFECT STORM! Or, in other words, it may snow 4 inches on Sunday. So Maya and I are throwing in the towel and heading to a much more challenging climate. Northern Wisconsin. On on the shortest days of the winter. Expect some comparative pics soon hereafter.

Hope your own flights are booked and ready to roll on clear runways. Rock on.

Maya looks ready to pee her name in the snow.

Maya looks ready to pee her name in the snow.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Hot chocolate makes it all worth it.

Hot chocolate makes it all worth it.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

"But when I say a 'size 10', I just want you to know I wear a 12, heh heh..."

I'm not sure how many dozen times I've seen the clip of Dubya getting shoes chucked at him yesterday. But it ain't going away any time soon. Right after it happened, I thought it was shocking and hilarious. Now, given Dubya's attempt to spin it so clumsily I'm convinced it is an incident that will live on along with the worst of the worst gag reel for this era. The fact that Dubya tried to joke initially is the strongest indication of how little he understands about the Middle East. Anyone who's read a newspaper since Baghdad fell in 2003 (remember that Saddam statue?) knows that being hit with a shoe or even just being taunted with the sole of a shoe is like flipping someone the bird while taunting yo' momma's past work as a prostitute. Why are the Arab media and cities throughout the region so all over this story? Because even a blind street urchin knows what an insult this was to have thrust fully into a final stupid photo op for Dubya. To try to make it into a non-issue by way of dismissal...well, that worse than turning around a whipping a cowboy boot back from the podium.

Speaking of street urchins - we saw "Slumdog Millionaire" last night. A small gem of a film that receives a very high recommendation. My rating - an A-minus. Romantic, uplifting, sad and beautifully shot. My only question leaving the theatre is whether Regis Philbin has seen it yet. If you've done so, you might get my drift. Hint - the Indian Regis portrayal maybe says something about both characters.

Another quickie review for folks here in Seattle. After the movie, Sarah and I had a delicious date dinner at Cafe` Spinasse on Capitol Hill. Their pasta is masterful. Everything else we tried we'd try again. By far the best Italian food I've ever had in Seattle. My rating - a B-plus with a few caveats. First of all, I want to go back and try more. Second, it's pretty spendy. But for a special meal, it's worth every nickel.

Seattle's frozen somewhat solid after getting a few inches of snow and much lower than normal temps over the weekend. The pipes at Maya's daycare froze this morning. All we heard at holiday parties over the weekend was plans to head to warmer climates soon. My reaction? Eh. Maya and I head to Wisconsin this weekend where daytime high temps appear to be hovering around zero. Makes 30 degrees and crystal clear sound like t-shirt weather, doncha know.

Hope your own aim on that second shoe is a bit better this time around. Rock on.

Maya shows just how ready she is to start decorating the house for the Holidaze.

Maya shows just how ready she is to start decorating the house for the Holidaze.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

This shot was just before we headed out to get our tree. We haven't trimmed it yet. But we got a beaut. Expect some more pics when we do so over the next few days. Maya is already waking up every morning asking when it's going to be Christmas. Or, as I correct her, "Jesusmas". I'm reluctant to tell her friends at the JCC that she gets the whole Chrismukkah. Jewish kids get so jealous this time of year. Hope your own excitement is entirely secular today. Rock on.

"But they are called 'stockings' aren't they?"

"But they are called 'stockings' aren't they?"
Originally uploaded by emaggie

"Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in..."

If you're at all like me, you can already see the GOP nutjobs out there spinning their beanies at hyperspeed as they conspire how to use the flaming cartwheel of a crash that is Illinois Governor Blagojevich (prounounced nothing like it's spelled). As I type, Patrick Fitzgerald is holding a clinic on poise during a press conference to announce Blagojevich's arrest. Somewhere far, far away, Scooter Libby is having a flashback. Cut to the chase? Blago extorted untold sums of cash and contributions for favors while Guv. But the headline is - he was trying to sell the Senate seat being vacated by Obama to the highest bidder. Thus far, absolutely no link to Obama. Nor will they ever find any. Unless, perhaps, someone pushed the Justice Department to dump this truck on the lawn well before the Inauguration. I guarantee everybody one thing - the GOP will try to make this stick to Obama. This is Bill Ayers on the sort of steroid cocktail Barry Bonds choked down. This is utter crap, as a smear. But - I'm sad to say - it's got zazz. Back to the real point - Blago provides the final evidence for one of the truest hypotheses in my canon. Never trust a guy with a haircut like THAT.

Hope your own Cabinet announcements somehow avoid questions about "when did you speak with Blagojevich?...cough, cough...sorry, there's a lot of phlegm in that name". Rock on.

Maya sports her Space Needle hat for a birthday party. Well, not really.

Maya sports her Space Needle hat for a birthday party at the Children's Museum. Well, not really.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

One of her classmates had his 4th B-day bash at the Children's Museum in the Seattle Center yesterday. Which gave me the chance for jokey photo staging. What are kids for, after all.

Mumbai from an experienced POV

I had thought about posting a silly bit of Milwaukee Brewers news today (Don Money, one of my favorite old school Brew Crew players that looked like he was 50 when he was 25, got promoted to be the Manager at the Brewers AAA club in Nashville). But then I got a forwarded email from my sister-in-law mentioning that a beloved friend published an Op-Ed in yesterday's NY Daily News. Sameer is one helluva smart dood. And he was the first guy to get me to go golfing a few months ago after what had been more than half a decade's worth of peevish boycotting. His reflection upon the tragedy last week in Mumbai is personal and poetic. Please read it.

Hope your own journeys take you to ancestral homes you may not have ever known today. Rock on.

"Next question, Mr. President-Elect - do you plan to nominate anyone who actually believes in the current Bowl Championship Series system?"

A few thoughts on Obama's Cabinet. First, this guy is fully ensconced in the nuts and bolts of settling many scores while getting better geared up to serve than anyone has ever shown themselves to be at this point. Hillary's peeps wouldn't have been happy without at least what she got. Bob Gates staying on at Defense makes more sense than trying to hop into another canoe mid-river. Susan Rice, Eric Holder, James Jones - c'mon, everybody...these are damn strong picks. But this morning I heard the inevitable question asked when Bill Richardson was announced as Commerce Secretary if Latinos should feel slighted. Seriously. Seriously? Employment numbers came out today that stunned everyone (250K lost their jobs in November), the Bushies announced yesterday that we've been in a recession since December '07, new car sales are worse than anytime since Reagan's first term, blah blah blah. Is this really a time to talk tokens? Reporters still need to report. Yet certain questions don't need to be asked at this point in the game. Beeyatches.

While we were in Santa Barbara, we didn't do our regular movie-crazed catch-up deluge. But we did still see a few things worth rating. The new Bond ("Quantum of Solace") is garbage. My rating - a solid D. Daniel Craig is gold, but this movie is a turd. More interestingly, "The Bank Job" was a surprisingly good rental. My rating - solid B. We also rented "You Don't Mess With the Zohan" (C-minus) and "Iron Man" (a re-watched A-minus). Still, I feel like I've failed you by not having more reviews to offer. I'll catch up. I promise.

Hope your own donuts have extra sprinkles today. Rock on.

Maya and Auntie Becca realize that after Thanksgiving Dinner everything still tastes like turkey.

Maya and Auntie Becca realize that after Thanksgiving Dinner everything still tastes like turkey.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Ah, tradition. Prepping to carve the turkey while the family gathers around the glow of their MacBooks.

Ah, tradition. Prepping to carve the turkey while the family gathers around the glow of their MacBooks.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

"Is this stuffing or dressing? And, while we're on the subject, what's the difference?"

"Is this stuffing or dressing? And, while we're on the subject, what's the difference?"
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Becca and Momoo join in on Maya's new obsession - "Concentration" games

Becca and Momoo join in on Maya's new obsession - "Concentration" games
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Our one Prezidunt at this time keeps his focus on the big issues

On the day Barack Obama gave his third daily presser in a row on economic recovery, what did Dubya accomplish? He saved a turkey. No, not Scooter Libby. That pardon is coming in early January. Instead, Dubya continued the annual tradition first introduced by his Poppy (true story - 1989 was the first "official" gobbler un-served). While it's not as much fun as seeing Sarah Palin gobble up airtime with inanities while a turkey went through the wood-chipper just over her shoulder, Dubya's classic shot from a few years back really gets me in the mood to tear into one of those suckers.

Hope your own turkeys are brining, not getting tossed out of a cab in suburban Chevy Chase right about now. Rock on.

And have you looked at Larry Summers' butt lately? Yummy...

I'm in Santa Barbara. And still stunned by the dichotomy of what burned recently in Montecito versus what suffered not so much as a scratch. The canyons up into the foothills of the Santa Ynez Mountains primarily off East Mountain Drive burned to a crispy moonscape. Blessedly, my in-laws and most of their friends/neighbors were unharmed. On Sunday, the community poured out in force to fill sandbags to then use in protection against the feared flash floods of seasonal rain that may well arrive as early as tonight. If heavy rain spills down from the mountains over the ashen landscape through the countless canyon creeks...well, it could be bad. I drove along the winding, narrow path through the damage on Sunday for a first-hand view. It was so odd for someone unaccustomed to such destruction. Little things caught my eye. Wholly protected houses just up the driveway from burned-out vehicles. The smell of what an unaccustomed Wisconsite might assume was a charcoal grill overwhelming everything once you open the car windows. Beautiful pottery and porcelain address markers warped and scalded by what was surely a hot, hot fire. The sense of loss most assuredly hasn't disappeared for those in the path of the firestorm that now must worry about flooding. What a crazy confluence of risks. The sense of a support structure is nonetheless inspiring to consider.

A quick assessment of Obama's early picks for his Administration. They all seem centrist, qualified and eager. But there's also a certain uptick in hotness. Case in point - Melody Barnes. The Washingtonian named her one of DC's Ten Best Dressed. Rawr. And his Social Secretary, Desiree Rogers will run everything from the Easter Egg Roll to formal State Dinners. With hotness. Today we were introduced to Rob Nabors (the 37-year-old (!) Deputy OMB Director). And there's more cute geeky white guys than at a Dave Matthews concert (Rahm Emmanuel, Timothy Geithner, Peter Orszag). And you thought Obama was just going to be all about coolness...

Hope your own appointees have rockin' brains AND bods today. Rock on.

After the crash...

The unintentional silence you might have noticed from these here parts over the last handful of days has a story behind it. Even if you don't care, I need to clear the drains. So to speak. My darling daughter pulled my Mac laptop onto the floor by the power cord. Shattered the screen. Made me realize how much I love my daughter because she both is fine and was utterly apologetic. But it also made me realize how much I loved my laptop. Do you know how much it costs to replace a LCD screen on a more than 3-year-old Mac? For me, $1240. Not much scratch if you're passing out loans to Wall Street or the auto industry. But serious cash for a piece of over-used electronics. So I've been pouting while I watch the news in the same fashion that you all have come to expect. Thereby, here's some overdue shots.

Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State has more strings attached than Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Will she work hard? Yup. Will she be almost impossible to clear from past controversies? Absolutely. Can Obama do better? I believe so. Will this mend some bridges with Hillary's supporters? Unquestionably. Should we be debating this as the world looks to us to make sense of what a sinkhole we're in currently? No gawddamn way. This one will make two months of transition into 2 years of investigative journalism. Cut the cord, Barack. I hate to say it, but you don't owe the Clintons anything.

Joe Lieberman is still a Democrat. For now. First sign of Iraq War withdrawal and that cat is over the fence.

Ted Stevens lost and Sarah Palin signed a $7M book deal. I'm willing to bet more ink has been spilled on Alaska politics this year since the aggregate timeline of inclusion in the Union in 1959. Expect that 50th Anniversary of Statehood to be Spring Break for Joe the Plumbers cast far and wide next year.

On a personal note - we're headed to Santa Barbara soon with the expectation of being stunned by the damage caused by the recent fires. Our family and friends are fine. But I'll update y'all with some pics and commentary when I get a better gauge of just how crazy it is to see that sort of damage.

Hope you get the chance to hug your own beloved electronics today. Rock on.

"Latest CD? Check. Random stuffed animal? Check. OK, let's rock and roll!"

"Latest CD? Check. Unaffiliated stuffed animal? Check. OK, let's rock and roll!"
Originally uploaded by emaggie

We took Maya to her latest rock concert last night - Justin Roberts @ the Vera Project's wonderful space in the Seattle Center. Justin Roberts is officially our favorite musician that records/performs for kids. Imagine a pre-school Elvis Costello. He put together a tight set and got Maya into the mosh pit without much concern for where Sarah and I were checking the angle from. Maya danced and sang along like a groupie in the trance. Should I be worried? Oh, who cares. A few pics follow from what was a very fun evening out on the town in GrungeCity.

Maya totally got the Geddy Lee reference in Justin Roberts' segway

Maya totally got the Geddy Lee reference in Justin Roberts' segway shtick. HINT: He was the bassist/lead vocalist in the band "Rush" and is something of a rock dork god.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Maya in the mosh pit. Start 'em young, people.

Maya in the mosh pit. Start 'em young, people.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Justin Roberts and bandmates work the Vera Project stage.

Justin Roberts and bandmates work the Vera Project stage.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

If she says "it's time to move on" once more, I put out the challenge to be the first reporter to get up and walk out of the room.

Nine days after the Election, Sarah Palin held her first news conference as a national political figure. She took 4 questions - under 10 minutes of weird smoke and dull-edged attempts to change the subject - before being shuffled off the stage by an especially uninspiring Texas Guv Rick Perry and the dozen of other white dudes surrounding her. The amount of media heat being generated by Palin is a disgrace. Why wouldn't she sit down for questions before she and McCain tanked like an even-more-uninspired Bob Dole campaign? My belief is she's now comfortable that the questions will be all about process. Before the election, some questions might have included actual policy considerations. And we all know how well she does with that sort of thang. This PR campaign after the actual campaign was obviously expected. I'm not surprised at all. It's as simple as considering whether a woman who claims to have only shopped at consignment stores in Anchorage (yea, right) would head back in that direction after getting 13 suitcases worth of high fashion freebies from high-end department stores. Or in less-concrete fashion, Sarah Palin is truly a diva. One of the worst. Just like Mariah Carey. And this election was her "Glitter". Thoughts of a comeback are all divas can focus on when they've been embarrassed by the amount of crap they spout. So I expect we'll see her out there making the same ol' digs at Obama while she frantically searches for a new producer to spin this mess into gold. Good luck with that, Guv. Especially if it continues to look like Ted Stevens will lose his re-election bid and she won't have anything to run for until at least 2010. I'd bet that winter forecast for Alaska would look especially far from that newfound heat right about now, even for a self-professed native.

Hope your own office offers not only a "present" button, but lots of "donation" buttons today. Rock on.

Entering a new Era, without the annoying nicknames yet with actual humor? Yes we can.

I've heard a few weird reactions to Obama's first Prez-Elect presser - he was too cautious, he was too deferential, he made fun of Nancy Reagan. But largely, the verdict is sure. He is literally the best thinker on his feet in the game, surrounded by a burgeoning crowd of admirers. I've toned done my elation regarding the events of this week mainly to see how the transition played out. That's over. Barack Obama is an icon that nonetheless feels like a regular dude. His ability to make a self-deprecating moment (how he's a "mutt" just like most "shelter dogs") feel both folksy and poetic - I just can't top him. I won't deny that we're in a full-on turdstorm with crappy newsiness forecast beyond the unlimited horizon. But I challenge every one of you - how do you think the World would be looking at us right now if we'd chosen McCain/Palin? Be careful what you wish for was my regretful mantra after Dubya won in '04. My new mantra - be honest in what you wish for.

One quick review - I chose to run against the grain on Wednesday night and finally caught Oliver Stone's "W." with a mere handful of ironic Seattlites. My rating - a squishy C. Josh Brolin has been deservedly lauded for what he did running a surprisingly short gamut. Thadie Newton does a spot on Condi Rice. Jeffrey Wright is an overly hope-y-ish Colin Powell. No one stinks. But the one oft-repeated comment that I agree with is that it feels like a first draft. Or more accurately, the most rushed picture I've ever seen. Like Stone and his screenwriter cobbled it together over a bagful of FunSize candy, a case of Ketel One and a massive pile of cocaine on somebody's brother's yacht just off the Catalina Islands over a weekend in early June. Don't rent it. See it on cable. In like two months.

Hope your own economic conferences don't include Jim Cramer anytime soon. Or ever. Rock on.

"First question, Rahm - where did those pesky Bushies hide all the 'O' keys from our keyboards?"

The morning's big exclusive - Rahm Emanuel accepted the offer to be President Obama's Chief of Staff. Emanuel's always impressed me. Surely in direct inverse proportion to how much he pisses off the withering Republican establishment. He was a major strategery planner for Bubba. He rose through the ranks in the House like a rocket. He's sacrificing something major in terms of his own personal lifeplan by taking a job that is as demanding as any in Washington. But he's the right dood for the job. Kudos and congrats to all involved.

Hope your own job offers include health club benefits today. Rock on.

This Bright New Day

He actually did it. Barack Obama will be our next President. I'm still up to my ears in results and analysis, but a few things have become astonishingly clear. I'll offer a shorthand version.

1. Battleground states broke almost entirely for Obama. The more time he spent there, the better he did. Period. Just look at Ohio, Pennsylvania and Florida if you doubt my take on the utter shift in the map.
2. The Dems made some gains in Congressional races, but the game didn't entirely change. Regardless, the time has come to jettison Joe the Lieberman to the ranks of truly Independent and powerless.
3. Social conservatives are still a force to be reckoned with when it comes to proferring obtuse and bullshite referendum votes. Prop 8 in California is a particularly galling example. The war ain't over, people.
4. Sarah Palin has already been thrown under the bus, but she is about to be backed over time and time again. The single most stunning inside baseball piece of the day comes from "Newsweek" that includes reporting about her meeting campaign aides wearing just a towel (RAWR!) and how she got staffers to buy clothes for her on their own credit cards. The only person happy about how much of a joke she will forever be remembered becoming - Dan Quayle.
5. It ain't over. Recount in Minnesota's Franken/Coleman race. Runoff in Georgia's Chambliss/Martin race. Cats and dogs sleeping together. Much more to report later.

But the single most interesting tidbit from the avalanche of reporting is the brilliant "get" that David Remnick ("The New Yorker" editor in chief) got from William Ayers yesterday in Barack Obama's neighborhood. Anyone that claims Obama is tarnished by a connection to Ayers has always been full of shite. This little poetic moment of reportage proves it. Read it. You'll be glad you did.

A few final thoughts. I've been an obvious Obama supporter from the beginning. He's a most capable person in the most challenging of times. I don't begrudge those that were not on board. Yet the time has come for the Nation to realize one simple fact - Barack Obama won. He hired the best people, he raised the most money, he benefitted from the news of the day, blah blah blah. Barack Obama will be our next President because he was smart enough and convincing enough to get people to listen to him and vote for him. I am proud of my country today. And damn glad to be able to say that.

Hope you're all looking forward today. Rock on.

Get serious, America!

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Maya practices her "treat-worthy" face.

Maya practices her "treat-worthy" face.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Trick or Treating with Maya in our neighborhood last night was a blast. One of her friends from this summer's dance class hosted a party. After pizza and playtime we meandered for quite a while 'round the 'hood, marveling at the amount and energy of other people doing much the same thing. Say what you will about Seattle. But the people rock. We hope you have at least as much fun as we did. Here's a glimpse in the next few shots. Rock on.

"Now that's what I'm talkin' about - candy!"

"Now that's what I'm talkin' about - candy!"
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Maya's new best friend (Devin) with whom she was inseperable.

Maya's new best friend (Devin) with whom she was inseperable.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Pre-trick or treating distraction.

Pre-trick or treating distraction.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Ah, Halloween - the one day of the year a dude dressed like a dentist can get away with handing out candy. Even if he is a dentist.

Ah, Halloween - the one day of the year a dude dressed like a dentist can get away with handing out candy. Even if he is a dentist.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Maya borrowed my Heatmiser wig and nose. I still think she made the right choice in giving them back.

Maya borrowed my Heatmiser wig and nose. I still think she made the right choice in giving them back.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Maya gets her "Roar!" on.

Maya gets her "Roar!" on.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Halloween started early for Maya as she wore her costume to daycare this morning. She responded to another Dad who asked what she was by saying "I'm a nice dinosaur." Then she roared at him. Gawd, I love that kid.

This Halloween Eve, McCain's got news for you - "you're all Joe the Plumber." Dang - I wanted to be Heatmiser again this year.

I'll not be the first to say so - Obama's infomercial last night was a bit puffy. Yet flat. Still, it works exactly as I expect was planned in this crazy final week. Each campaign is spending daily well over the $4M it cost for that half-hour in primetime. The replay effect is a well-worn consideration in the gaming of political advertising. I think Obama's big buy will get little full replay. But it surely realized the aim of dominating the discussion for at least a day's worth of blathering nonsense in these final daze. Once again, Obama has the best run operation I've ever seen in the history of post-modern campaigning. What do we get from McCain today to counter? An empty shout out to Joe the Plumber who wasn't even at the rally that McCain had to shlep 4000 schoolkids to in order to bump the numbers up to 6000. Watch for yourself.



Hope your own Barack O'Lantern are admired by all the neighbors today. Rock on.

Our Barack O'Lantern

Our Barack O'Lantern
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Maya shows off her handiwork.

Maya shows off her handiwork.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

A family self-portrait.

A family self-portrait.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Targeting '08 - "Shameless"

With just over one week to go before the Election, I can't hold back on a few predictions that may quite simply jinx the future of humankind. Call me impetuous. Or Satan. I answer to both.

Sarah Palin didn't lose the Election for John McCain. But she cut his percentage of the vote by at least 5%.

John McCain appeared on "Meet the Press" where he referred to Joe Biden as "Joe the Biden" and where he "fool me once, shame on you...fool me twice, um..." struggled to remember the 5 Secretaries of State that had endorsed him. Eventually a frantic staffer off camera advised him that he'd forgotten George Shultz. Who McCain quickly called one of our greatest Secretaries of State EVER. If Bob Dole had looked this old and tired back in '96, someone would have institutionalized him.

Early voting patterns in such states as Georgia and Florida suggest that precincts with heavy African-American populations will shatter turnout records. Aside from the astonishing translation that other states like Mississippi and South Carolina are being reassessed for their competitiveness, one astonishing tertiary effect billows up. In short, incumbent Senator Saxby "Shameless" Chambliss may face a rare runoff election against his Dem opponent (Jim Martin) if neither crosses the 50% threshold on Election Day. Why should we care? Because we may be then facing a filibuster-proof majority election for the Dems a month after Election Day in an unprecedented showdown. And, not that any of us need to relive this indignity, the Bushies got Shameless elected to his only term thus far by tagging Max Cleland with an entirely baseless association with Osama Bin Laden back in '02. Confused? Trust me - if it goes down as I predict, we'll all know WAY too much about this race to discuss at length over our respective TurkeyDay gatherings.

Hope your own NFL teams are enjoying their bye week. Rock on.

Our Woodland Park Zoo tradition - Maya gives the Lion a hug.

Our Woodland Park Zoo tradition - Maya gives the Lion a hug.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

On what seems to be the 40th Jewish holiday of the month of High Holidaze, we took advantage of a stunningly clear and glorious fall day to head to the Zoo. A few quick shots follow to poorly capture how beautiful October can be in the Northwest. Rock on.

Maya reimagines her birth. In the Mesazoic Era.

Maya reimagines her birth. In the Mesazoic Era.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

The circular wishing well at the Zoo entrance. Maya seems unfazed by the unbridled scam it represents.

The circular wishing well at the Zoo entrance. Maya seems unfazed by the unbridled scam it represents.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

If Ronald Reagan ever said "I screwed up" to Johnny Carson, do you really think he'd have had a career thereafter...

Two quickies.

John McCain on Letterman last night was an absolute clinic in how a glib politician trying to redirect his public persona can be made to look like an absolute boob. Dave earned even more respect from me than ever before by not allowing his questions to be steam-rolled by crappy talking points.

Maya has a new favorite video. If you missed the "Mark Wahlberg Talks to Animals" skit from "Saturday Night Live" you missed a moment of hilarity that speaks for itself. Spot on impression, utter inanity, and cute animals - what's not to love? But even as this stupid clip gets more and more play, Maya cannot get enough. Every day - "can we watch that guy talk to the animals?" Every day - "yes, sweetie." Yet with all the repeated viewings...it's still funny.

Hope your own comedy routine before a white-tie crowd allows you to make a Superman joke today. Rock on.

Home Plumbing Tip #47 - Never trust a free estimate from a guy named Joe, political or otherwise.

OK - let's skin this lipsticked pig. Last night's debate was the first time - I really believe this - the FIRST TIME that we had a moment of clarity in the general election battle between Barack Obama and John McCain. Obama, as is his singular talent, kept his cool amidst plenty of flak thrown up at him. McCain blinked and blinked and blinked and grimaced and gave everyone the impression that he couldn't believe what he was hearing from his opponent. It was the race in a nutshell - both sides have issues, both sides have tactics. But there are two people herein trying to win your vote. If McCain won over anyone with his "Joe the Plumber" routine, they were onboard to begin with and only wanting to court extra attention. What about the "Joe the Software Designer" or "Joe the Janitor" or "Joe the Sex Worker" voters not being mentioned in this tiresome back and forth. Unfortunately, I still fear the systems that both run and analyze our elections. Yet I embrace said systems, with a truly unbridled heart. Obama is the most talented politician I've seen in my lifetime. If he loses to McCain after this exposure to their comparative shortcomings, I firmly believe that I will not believe in our Nation any longer. Maybe because I'll then begin to truly question what it is that I think as it relates to what my fellow citizens think. Everyone's got a vote. And everyone's gotta vote. Period. Thereafter, let the chips fall...

Hope your own plumber doesn't charge you today to talk smack about how he's such a straight-talker unlike you, Mr./Ms. Paying-the-Bill-Guy/Gal. Rock on.

Maya picks a winner. Missed that shot, but here she is with a pumpkin.

Maya picks a winner. Missed that shot, but here she is with a pumpkin.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

The true spirit of Halloween

The true spirit of Halloween
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Maya gets into the mood for hours of backbreaking labor in the fields.

Maya gets into the mood for hours of backbreaking labor in the fields.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Mush!

Crater? To quote Paul on Letterman - "I didn't even know her." If you've got money in anything other than your mattress, the news of market collapses worldwide is pretty frickin' scary. I've got my own spin. But I think we all need something else right now. Aside from a hug. So here's a few suggestions.

Oliver Stone appeared on "The Colbert Report" last night. I was stunned by "Platoon" and "Salvador" didn't suck. Still, he's been an incoherent boob for years. Almost everyone wants his new movie "W." to be interesting. Or terrible. Like everyone aside from your third cousin Morrie who works in LA, I haven't seen it yet. But his interview was hilarious.

Lance Mackey is the two-time defending Champ of the Iditarod sled dog marathon. He went to high school with Sarah Palin. Seriously. And he has a new reality show on the Discovery Channel that premieres next week. Who cares. Who cares? Ironically, me. He was on Conan O'Brien last night and his honest sweetness and dorky forthrightness utterly slayed me. That dog can do more than hunt.

Hope your own atonement was enough to make you realize that Gordon Gecko was so, so obscenely ahead of his time that someone should send Michael Douglas a CookieGram made out of dog poo today. Rock on.

My Yom Kippur message

Get there.


The Great Schlep from The Great Schlep on Vimeo.

"ThatOne '08" steps up to the plate

Everyone sees what they want from a debate, no matter what it actually looked like. So what I took from last night's debate is as firm as Madonna's ass. Obama was cool and collected. McCain will have his dickish "that one" comment hung on his image for the rest of his televised life. That's how these things work, people. Make a condescending remark and get stuck with it like a bug in your own personal amber 'til the end of days (shout out to Sarah Palin on that one). I've been wrong before. I believed that Obama's comment about Hillary that she was "likable enough" would haunt his efforts. As if it didn't. So maybe not so much wrong as vaguely off the mark. But McCain last night looked like the angry old man (that he is), scooting off the stage after not shaking his opponent's hand (debatable), and just plain looking pissed that he had to deal with the utterly stupid "Town Hall" format that his campaign tried to unilaterally demand be honored. I offer one chestnut that is too often forgotten about McCain - he reportedly drinks a dozen or so cups of coffee a day. How would that serve you in situations where you needed to be even keel in the late evening? I tossed and turned until the wee hours because of a single hot chocolate after Maya went to bed. I'm just sayin'...

Hope your own condescending remarks aren't watched by approximately 42% of the Nation today. Rock on.

Sarah Palin pals around with slednecks that couldn't even name one of the Weathermen besides Al Roker - which is worse?

The Brew Crew are done for the year. Philly looks pretty darn good and we just never got anywhere near hot. So it goes.

Of all the political ads that hit the wall like such a pile of mud, the latest Obama offering for whatever reason struck me as dead-on.


Maybe it's because, um, I'm totally in the tank for Barack. Or maybe because there's literally nothing to fact-check herein. For those that were hoping for a second Palin bump - hardy frickin' har. That moose has officially been hung and smoked.

One Maya nugget for those that read through all else for such details - she's got a new tagline that she using on both Sarah and me with regularity. "Let's talk about politics!" Seriously. It's not as scripted as our recent faux Marx Brothers routine (me/straightman: "What are you a Communist?", Maya: "No, I'm a Socialist."). But it absolutely kills. I think we'll take this one on the road. Keith Olbermann look out - you've got competition.

Hope your own Crew raises a Brew in tribute to me and you today. Rock on.

"But, doggone it, I still think your surrender flags are made in San Francisco by illegal immigrants that want to unionize, I'm tellin' ya."

Let's debate the Debate. Sarah Palin didn't fall on her face or have an unscripted nip slip. So everyone's disappointed, in some way. She was all style, zero substance, no true gaffes. Biden was flat early, but eventually gathered steam. In short - a total draw. Gwen Ifill, I'm sorry to say, was the true loser by offering nothing near the realm of compelling questions. Some might argue that was her purpose. But I'm convinced that she was stymied by the lame criticism of her upcoming book by Republicans who were fully aware that it was in the pipe months ago. Regardless, I hate Palin's tendency to offer up the cutesy wink and folksy colloquialism after essentially delivering a bald, false, dickish rip on more than half of the Nation's voters. Doncha know.

Brew Crew lost another yesterday, 5-2. It heads back to Milwaukee for Game 3 on Saturday. It's not over. But unless we find some bats back in 'Sconi, it's pretty much over. Same goes for the Cubbies who head to LA after getting spanking at Wrigley. My only question - who will track down Steve Bartman before this year's team is done for the Season. Poor, unfairly doomed bastard. If anyone ever deserved to be in the witness protection program, it's that Cubs fan.

Hope your own debate coaches have enough Advil to make it through the morning flight back to DC today. Rock on.

Oh, and Sarah Palin will struggle to name a single TV show that her TiVo recommends aside from "all of them".

Big debate tonight, no matter how you spin it. Aside from being offended by the childish effort to tarnish Gwen Ifill's credentials, I'm going to hold back on the counterspin for the time being. Except for saying that I bet Sarah wears blue in a cynical attempt to court Hillary Dems. Biden will wear a dark suit and puke-colored tie with a few swizzlesticks sticking out of his breast pocket.

The Brewers lost Game One in Philly yesterday, 3-1. They took forever to get going, but their bullpen looked strong and they were surging in the 9th before Corey "No, not THAT Corey Hart" Hart struck out with two runners in scoring position. CC Sabathia pitches on short rest again today. Take one there and guarantee two games back in Milwaukee. It would have been nice to take that one. But I'm not exactly taking off my jersey with where we stand right now.

Hope your own debate watching parties serve moose burgers and Rocky Mountain oysters tonight. Rock on.

At long last...

WHOO-HOO! The Milwaukee Brewers make the Playoffs for the first time since I was in Junior High School. I won't claim that we'll go far. But at least we're in the post-season mix once again.

Contrary to earlier reports, this blog is not officially suspended.

I know, I know - I surely picked a loaded week of newsiness to not add anything to the mix. Sometimes even the most self-convinced among us take a few days off to thoughtfully consider just what's hit the country in the face like a flock of junebugs while hurtling along at 100 miles an hour on a motorcycle. I'll make it quick on a variety of points.

Last night's debate was a draw. Obama was calm and measured, to a possible fault. But McCain looked like the grumpy ol' cuss that we all know he truly is not so far beneath the surface. I take that back - McCain lost. Expect him to get all touchy-feelie next time out. Which will creep people out even more.

Sarah Palin's star has fallen. Incredibly so. Her interview this week with Katie Couric was the turning point, although I expect the zeitgeist had seen her as a mistake much earlier. The best evidence that she's no longer trusted by the McCain camp to open her mouth on camera? She didn't do a single interview after the debate last night. I think Biden was everywhere but on the Home Shopping Network. I imagine her in a missile silo in North Dakota right about now.

The Wall Street bailout is a turd wrapped in another far more expensive turd. Since I know as much as any other moron, I expect a complex mess to be passed in the middle of the week after World markets flop like a 40-pound catfish after a few days of doomsaying.

I also predict that McCain's next Hail Mary will be to vote against whatever form the bailout takes for final passage. That and getting Sarah Palin to appear in a "Maxim"-quality photoshoot sitting on his lap in the Oval Office. Oh wait, is that sexist. Sure. But she is truly only cosmetic and I couldn't care less about that charge anymore.

The Milwaukee Brewers now control their own destiny with two games remaining for both them and the Mets in the regular season. The Brew Crew's won 5 in a row. Ben Sheets is pitching hurt today. CC Sabathia is prepped to pitch on short rest tomorrow if need be. I'm cautiously optimistic.

Maya's been teaching us what's she's learned about the upcoming Rosh Hashanah holiday on Monday ("it's the New Year, Daddy"). Auntie Becca's in town for a weekender visit to also benefit from the education. Can't really say that I've got a shofar to blow. Whatever that means. But we're learning.

Hope your own teams don't inappropiately "blow the shofar" early this weekend. Go Brewers. Rock on.

"Welcome to the Puyallup Fair. I will be your impossibly cute greeter today."

"Welcome to the Puyallup Fair! I will your impossibly cute greeter today."
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Every kid loves a fair. Maya's no exception, although today was her first introduction to the culture. The Puyallup Fair south of Seattle serves the purpose of Washington's state fair. Great event. Cloudy day. Fun folks all around, nonetheless. A teacher with a school group even gave me one of her extra free gate adult tickets. All kids under 5 are free. We spent some time with the animals, but Maya was much more interested in the rides. A few snippets follow. Call if you want more voluminous details. Fun stuff.

It's not exactly Walleye on a Stick from the Minnesota State Fair, but a Krups Pup in Puyallup is still pretty tasty, doncha know.

It's not exactly Walleye on a Stick from the Minnesota State Fair, but this legendary Krusty Pup certainly was tasty, doncha know.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Maya and carnival rides - the new chocolate and peanut butter.

Maya and carnival rides - the new chocolate and peanut butter.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Maya chose the Sarah Palin car with no prompting whatsoever.

Maya chose the Sarah Palin car with no prompting whatsoever.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

"Does anyone listen to anything but Bon Jovi here?"

"Does anyone listen to anything but Bon Jovi here?"
Originally uploaded by emaggie

The obligatory merry-go-round shot. Done right.

The obligatory merry-go-round shot. Done right.
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Palin pales as the banks fail?

As the markets burn and the Bushies throw bailouts hither and yon, I'm certainly not alone in thinking the real short-term impact is on the race for Prezidunt. McCain's faltering at every opportunity. Palin's nowhere to be seen (I'd check the nearest Valentino store where I expect she'll be looking to return that slightly used $2500 blouse thingie she bought for her Convention speech). Obama's on the attack. Biden, too. And the polls, for what they're worth, are showing the margin shifting away from McCain/Palin. The first debate is next Friday. Six days after that, Palin and Biden go at it. I expect that countless opinionmeisters with a soapbox to use will begin to seriously doubt the wisdom of choosing an untested Governor from Alaska just prior to this upheaval. Nonetheless, I'm waiting for some GOP hacks to start saying that the Dems somehow manufactured this meltdown in our Nation's financial sector. Because if you're going to throw every imaginable mudpie at the wall to see what sticks, you might as well mix in a few more up-to-the-moment conspiracy theories.

All of this focus on losing a few trillion dollars has certainly taken the Nation's eye off another big story - the shocking demise of the Milwaukee Brewers. They fired their manager, Ned Yost, in the most uncivil fashion with just 12 games left in the regular season. They are no longer in the lead for the Wild Card slot in the playoffs. They may have lost pitcher Ben Sheets for the remainder of the season last night. Sure, they've got Robin Yount back in the dugout as the replacement Bench Coach. But at this point I think he's only good for mustache grooming tips. I'm not giving up - they did win last night in Chicago after needing to use 7 relief pitchers after Sheets had to leave the game. Interim Manager Dale "Yes, My Name is Spelled Correctly" Sveum got a beer shower after his first victory in that role. But I'm beginning to think about getting that tattoo removed if they miss the post-season again this year...

Hope your own markets are fully stocked with loads of organic veggies today. Rock on.

The 15th Anniversary? - Steel

I'll share something of a secret with y'all. Which makes it no longer anything of a secret at all. Nonetheless, 15 years ago this upcoming Monday, I arrived in Seattle for the first time. If ever there was a future worldly goofus just off the turnip truck even after years of being barely exposed to the world at large, it was this here fella arriving in GrungeCity the week prior to starting grad school at U-Dub. I distinctly remember spending the night of September 14th at an especially crappy Motel 6 in Boise, Idaho after a day's drive post-stay with a college friend in Colorado. After what tasted like a horse "burger" and a jigger of spit mixed with my "Scotch and soda" at a nearby "restaurant", I settled in to that poetic late night hotel room TV glow and watched the premiere of "Late Night with Conan O'Brien". The next day, I arrived in Seattle in the late afternoon and went to the campus office for especially bleak campus housing (6 post-undergrad guys in an apartment, unshared locks on every cabinet, despair unshared before nearby Happy Hours, blah blah blah). Maybe I'm sounding too vague and self-involved. Sorry. Just wanted to share.

Hope your own location provides insight today. Rock on.

"Soccer - it's a kick."

"Soccer - it's a kick."
Originally uploaded by emaggie

Suggested retort #273 - Apply lipstick judiciously if you intend to actually speak to others.

Last night we had a neighborhood block party. Nice folks, typically well-informed (this is Seattle, after all), armed with all manner of kids and smiles and interesting retorts. I guess I'm just an elitist since I believe that whenever I get into a head-shaking conversation about politics out here the discussion of "tactics" and "spin" becomes a lament that could be equally shared over the beer keg back in my childhood home in Northern Wisconsin. When the out of context attacks come out in a campaign of this magnitude, all bets are off. So I offer a new level of outrage today when it comes to how the McCain campaign is trying to swift boat Barack Obama. "Lipstick on a pig" is now sexist? Not when McCain said the same thing about front-running Hillary Clinton in October (!) of last year, or the times since? The wheels are coming off this thing. Time for the gloves to do so, too.

Sarah Palin has the ultimate glass jaw. She won't take questions. Attacks work and that's all we're getting from McCain's brain trust for the foreseeable future. If the egocentric journalists that pride themselves on access do nothing to bemoan how Palin is barricaded from questioning with less than two months until the election...well, they are abject failures that discredit their profession. Pressure obviously needs to come from somewhere else. Herein is the best argument for a grassroots movement I've seen in my lifetime. Cut the crap. Answer some questions. Period.

Hope your own attack ads are at least as much fun as something for Grand Theft Auto today. Rock on.

And maybe throw in a "please, God, give someone - anyone besides Charlie Gibson - the chance to ask Sarah Palin a question before time runs out"

First up - sports. The Green Bay Packers won a big opener last nite against the Minnesota Vikings. There was plenty of sloppy play, but Aaron Rodgers certainly performed better than I expected. Which means that NFL fans across the Nation will continue to debate the soap opera that is Brett Favre's breakup with the Pack. Because, in case you were in a cave all weekend and didn't see the highlights, Favre had an equally great first game as a New York Jet. Tom Brady's out for the year, the Chargers got spanked harder than Jessica Simpson after a Cowboys rout, the Colts look as old as a Sarah Palin-free John McCain rally in a diner, and everyone else still has hope since it's only the first week of the Season. Ah, football. Smells like America without a Bush in the White House.

Secondly in the same vein - the Brewers are swooning. They still lead the National League Wild Card race by 3 games over the Phillies. Less than 20 games left in the Season for everyone. If you've got a few dollars left after contributing everything you can to Barack Obama, please buy a bratwurst and say a prayer for Milwaukee. Not one of those "pray away the gay" prayers from Sarah Palin's church. A prayer that may actually do something. If you believe in that cut of jib.

Hope your own home teams have plenty of good seats miraculously available. Rock on.

"Governor, do you believe that Russia constitutes a threat? And if so, what have you commanded the Alaskan National Guard to do about it?"

Suddenly, everyone loves Sarah Palin. She can deliver prepared text! She can belittle Barack Obama's resume! She can make a joke without including either a liberal or a rabbi in the setup! Fine - I'll grant you that she performed well last night. Here's where I diverge from the fawning, shallow praise. Answer a question, Governor. Just one. To start. Then another. They hid you for a few days to prep and weather questions that might distract you from last night's speech. But over the next 60 days you'll need to answer a whole bunch of queries to fill in the gargantuan gaps in your public exposure on the issues you seem to believe we shouldn't be able to know your views on. Like how a woman who got a passport just last year so she could go visit Alaskan National Guard troops in Kuwait has anything to say about the two wars we're currently stuck in or the multitude of landmines we're trying to avoid worldwide. Or how a woman that slashed funding for teen pregnancy support agencies feels about that decision given her daughter's Senior Year date with destiny. Or how the City Manager in Wasilla actually controlled the budget and the Mayor (her "executive" position) was a part-time gig. Or how she intends to bring a federal budget back into balance given her experience running a state budget surplus almost entirely supported by oil and gas revenue kickbacks. Or...well, let's just say that the list of questions will expand as the days go on. Attacks are okey-fine if you're speaking to a crowd that already drank the Kool Aid. In the broader debate of what's unquestionably one of our Nation's broadest debating seasons in history, you don't get a pass because you can make a joke about hockey. What's the real difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull? Hockey moms think they deserve to be on the ice, cross-checking with reckless abandon those on the other team without possibility of penalty time. Pitbulls are just dogs.

Hope your own convention bounce has something remotely to do with substance today. Rock on.

Hurricane Bristol hits the radar

There's literally no way for me to understate how bad a pick I believe Sarah Palin is/was/will be in retrospect. Because I guarantee each and every one of you that she is out. The question I expect John McCain to hear re-spun at every turn until the Palins are thrown under the bus on the way back to Alaska is obviously as follows:

"Did you know that your pick for Vice President had an unmarried 17-year-old daughter who was 5 months pregnant when you introduced them to the Nation last Friday?"

Good luck with that whole "every child is a miracle" spin. Any teen pregnancy is an unfortunate turn of events. Unless, of course, you're a member of a barren royal family living prior to the 19th Century. Or a member of a polygamist sect trying to repopulate rural Texas. Seriously people - this is the Governor/mother/woman you want a heartbeat away from the most powerful job on the planet? She was willing to put her 17-year-old daughter through this inevitable onslaught of coverage? Or maybe she thought the world wouldn't figure it out (wink, wink)? Unbelievable. One thing's for sure, though. Dan Quayle's karmic stock rose more today than any time since 1992. Not. The. Worst. Pick. Ever...Anymore.

One quick review - Sarah and I saw "Tropic Thunder" last night. I'm always skeptical when it comes to parody. I've seen a wide range of reviews. But here's what you need to know - it's hilarious. Tom Cruise's extended cameo steals the show (if you don't laugh watching him dance over the closing credits, you have no soul). Robert Downey Jr. is hugely entertaining. The "full retard" joke that got some groups all steamed is one of the funniest conceits in recent years. Yes, yes - I get the whole "Hollywood satirizing itself is soooo over" meme. My rating is nonetheless a rare A-minus. Check your ability to be offended at the door. And soak up the silliness.

Hope your own barren ranch is within an hour of your overly-hyped disaster planning bunker today. Rock on.

Insert your own "in favor of drilling" joke here

We-eh-eh-el...Sarah Palin is about to be introduced as McCain's running mate. Rawr. I don't know what the hotties see in the crusty ol' fella, but he must be doing something right. But the real point here is that all she brings to the table is strong conservative positions on abortion and gay marriage. So we've seen the general election hand being played by McCain's brains - run ANOTHER race based entirely on an extreme social agenda. Two years ago she was the part-time mayor of Wasilla, Alaska (population 5,500). She's got her own TrooperGate to start explaining time and time again. She was the runner-up Miss Alaska 1984. She has 5 kids - the oldest is in the military and heads to Iraq in September, the youngest has Down's Syndrome and is 4 months old. Her hubbie ("the First Dude" as she calls him) works for BP on Alaska's North Slope. And if elected, she will step into the role currently held by Dick Cheney. Check your disaster supplies, Nation. It could be a long, dark night coming down the pike.

Hope your own choices today are based on something other than sexy eyewear. Rock on.

Please wake me when it's time to be an artful dick again.

OK, OK - I get it. All the bloggers in the world are fixated on the Democratic National Convention in Denver this week. And, yes, everyone worth a stray pixel or a binary bitch fit has something to say about what they've "observed". But you know what? I'm not going to go there. Sure, I've watched more coverage than you (sorry, it's true). I've bored my wife and daughter to tears with blow-by-blow commentary on why things appear to be going well but not too well, doncha know. Still, I'm sick of this whole charade. The Clintons forever lost me at their most recent invocation of "hello, we believe in the votes of 18 million Americans". McCain's Veep pick lamer-than-all-lame counterpunches rollout tomorrow is a joke I just can't bring myself to laugh at anymore. And Barack's big speech tonight? Well, I just hope he realizes how much I'm waiting for a fart joke or tasteless "Mile High Club" reference. Because otherwise...I don't know if I'll be able to bring myself to blog about anything until the start of the NFL Season. Or if Larry Craig gets caught doing a reach around in the Senate shower.

Hope your own ability to type through the hopeful boredom is stronger than my own. Rock on.

Up next - Bob Barr picks a bust of Ronald Reagan as his running mate.

As I predicted along with much of the punditocracy, Obama chose Biden as his Veep. So let the bullshite commence. McCain's people are digging holes as fast as they can fling the dirt. Everyone's using a Dems debate clip wherein Biden says that Obama's not yet ready to be the Big Guy. Also, calling this a pick made from a position of weakness on Obama's part figures into every right-leaning assessment. Yawn. Sure, Obama went conventional in this pick. He had to. All the oxygen will now be sucked from the race for the next handful of days as the Dems put on their best face in Denver. Thereafter, the real race begins. The GOP will never admit it, but they face a much more complex calculus with regard to whomever McCain picks as his Veep. I simply cannot believe that it will be Romney. Even though I hope it's him. If it's Tim Pawlenty (R-Gov., Minnysoda) who's so boyish-looking that Neil Patrick Harris could be his twin brother...well, they just won't go there. So here's my pick. It's a stealth longshot, I admit. Charlie Crist (R-Gov., Florida). He'll clinch a big state that the GOP desperately needs for any hope this time out. "Chain Gang Charlie's" tan is impeccable. His recognition outside of the South is currently minimal. Most people will probably think he's that character actor (John Slattery) from "Mad Men" who played the guy that wanted Carrie to pee on him in a classic episode of "Sex and the City". Personally, I think Tom Ridge is the man to pick since he'd bring Pennsylvania home for the GOP - another big pivot state in the electoral map sense of the race. But the crazies won't allow Ridge to complete the ticket because he's the slightest bit pro-choice. As in he believes that rape and/or incest is reason enough to not go through with a pregnancy. If we've learned anything since the Bushies stole the election in 2000, it's that the crazies are the loudest voice in the tent for the GOP. So call it Crusty and Cristy. Remember, you heard it here first.

Maya's first week of swim class went, um, swimmingly. She's timid, but much less afraid to get in the splash and flow of things after just 5 mornings of lessons. One more week to go. Plus next Saturday is her last ballet class. Up next? I'm lobbying for either motorcycle repair or jarts. I'll keep you posted. Hope your own summer calendar isn't winding down quite yet. Rock on.

"Aaaayyyyy!"

America - I beseech you. Love this photo!



The cast of "Happy Days" showed up in Milwaukee for probably the first time ever last night after dedicating a Fonzie statue and getting their assorted prescriptions filled for free. Twice! Would've loved to have been there. Aside from the fact that the Brew Crew lost. No word whether Chachi could afford the Amtrak ticket to join the jubilation.

Hope your own next civic celebration doesn't include trying to exhume Cindy Williams and that guy who played Squiggy. Rock on.